


Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince

by mochacherie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Hate to Love, Hogwarts, Humor, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Romance, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Young Sirius Black
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 99,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26776708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochacherie/pseuds/mochacherie
Summary: 'Pranks and Perverts and Padfoot, oh my!'Meet Kelsey 'Kelpie' Jones: Miss Americana, Comic lover and the Hufflepuff who doesn't give a Hufflefuck.Having Lily Evans accidentally fall in love with James Potter was never a part of her plan to get revenge on Sirius Black, Heartbreak Prince of Hogwarts and the Bane of her Existence. Neither was realising her own affinity for his perfectly snoggable lips. But hey, all's fair in love and war, right?ϟ"There was a book.""A book?""More like a magazine, really.""Oh?""It had dirty pictures..""Wicked!""..of naked witches.""No!""Yes!""Well, continue!""Word around school is that Kinky Kelpie can procure these magazines if you ask. For a price of course."
Relationships: James Potter & Lily Evans Potter, James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Original Character(s), Sirius Black/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 152
Kudos: 291





	1. I Knew You Were Trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first 7 chapters cover years 1-6 in quick glimpses (funny if you stick around). Rest is all Year 7 (funnier still)!

**Chapter 1: I Knew You Were Trouble**

**Early June 1971**

"A Professor? Do you hear that dear?" Amelia Jones beamed at her husband, Theo Jones.

He nodded reservedly, trying to hide how excited he was for Kelsey, the one and only apple of his eye, and asked, "What is your doctorate in erm- at this school?"

 _So this is what second-hand embarrassment feels like_ , an eleven-year-old Kelsey thought as she peeked in from the kitchen into the drawing-room. This Professor McGonagall had shown up an hour ago, one day after her eleventh birthday to explain the contents of the strangest letter that had arrived in the mail.

While she was still a little wary but her parents were too trusting. Too nice. Too American. She guessed old habits die hard. It had only been 6 years since they had immigrated to the UK.

"Doctorate?" The stern lady looked offended but continued nevertheless. "It's not just any school. As I mentioned before- Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is the most prestigious academy for young students in the country."

"Well, you said you're a professor, aren't 'cha'? What's your specialty?" her dad insisted. "How do we pay for this stuff? We don't have y'all magic money."

Oh no. He brought out the _y'all_ , she thought, wondering if she should interrupt.

She cleared her throat, "Transfiguration. We have our own bank where the money can be exchanged for our currency. And a special fund for muggle-borns, wherein Hogwarts covers 50% of the fees."

"Muggle? That don't sound like a nice word to me," he looked at her, matching her intensity.

 _That's it. I bet she hates me already and will personally make my life a living hell until I graduate._ Kelsey wanted to melt into a puddle and disappear.

"Americans," they heard the lady mutter.

"Weird school," said her dad. And then a few moments later, "Well, see you on the September first Prof!"

ϟ

**September 1, 1971**

"Have fun, honey! Be sure to study lots of magic. And don't forget to write!"

"And stay away from boys! Remember if they try to get you, you know where to kick 'em. Right in the-"

The rest of the sentence was drowned out by a groan. Eleven-year-old Kelsey Jones winced at the enthusiastic goodbye. She turned around to see her parents, two muggles, on platform 9 and ¾. She wondered if there were any others like her.

Her mum and dad stood on the platform waving at her as she walked up to the train. Her dad was waving his arm a little too dangerously hard. She saw him almost knock-off another parent's hat off earning himself a glare.

"What did I do to deserve this?" she muttered to herself and turned back, embarrassed. To say her parents had been excited when Professor McGonagall had shown up was an understatement.

As she climbed onto the train, she saw a few older students looking at her and back at her parents. No one else's parents seemed to be that excited to see their kid off. One might even think that her parents were a little too happy to see her go.

_Great, they probably think I'm unwanted at home._

Grumbling about her awkward start, she prayed that no other first-year had seen that scene. Lugging her suitcase, she peeked into compartments trying to find an empty one when she finally saw one that only had three kids and enough space to fit a few more.

"Excuse me. Do you mind if I sit here?" she squeaked suddenly shy. The complete opposite of how she felt on most days.

"Ooh, do come in!" a red-haired girl greeted and Kelsey entered. "Are you a first-year too?" she asked.

Kelsey nodded settling into her seat. "Mhmm, and you guys?"

"We're both first years. This is my older brother, Benjamin. You can call him Benji, he doesn't mind. He's a second year," the other girl with light brown hair said. The three girls turned to look at the boy who was sitting next to the window staring out into the countryside. He didn't even turn to look or acknowledge them.

"I'm Lily Evans," said the red-head.

"Mary McDonald."

"Kelsey Jones."

"You have a funny accent," Mary exclaimed.

"Mary! That's rude," Lily chided her new friend.

"It's fine. I get that a lot. My parents are American. We immigrated here when I was five. So I kinda talk like this," she said emphasising the slang.

The boy by the window grunted a small snort. He sat with his chin resting on his hand, looking annoyed at being surrounded by three first years.

"Don't you like have your own friends to sit with?" Kelsey blurted out and slapped a hand on her mouth when she realised that she'd said it out loud. He shot her an irritated look. He was about to say something when the compartment door swung open.

"What do we have here?" A boy with messy black hair appeared. It looked like his hair hadn't been combed. Ever.

 _'Maybe a hairbrush would suit him better'_ was Kelsey's first thoughts about him.

"Well, hello there. Have you seen a-" his eyes scanned around the compartment until his eyes settled on Lily.

"In the name of Godric! Oh, fair maiden!" He stepped forward taking Lily's hand in his and dramatically kneeled down to kiss her hand. Lily's face started turning as red as her hair and she snatched her hand away just before his lips were about to make contact with her skin.

"Someone fancies himself Prince Charming," Kelsey commented. The boy with the messy hair turned red too, while Lily laughed getting the reference. He got up and brushed imaginary dust off his pants and walked back to the door.

"Who's Prince Charming?" another boy asked coming into view. About as tall as his messy-haired friend, he had shoulder-length black hair that was settled in curls at his shoulder. Honestly, one wouldn't find such perfect curls on a girl ever. It seems that long lashes, clear skin, and perfect curls were reserved for boys who didn't appreciate them. A third boy with sandy brown hair appeared and shrugged at the question.

Kelsey had never seen anyone with grey eyes before. So she stared, trying to figure out how this was even possible. Grey Eyes too looked around the room until his eyes settled on Kelsey, looking at him curiously and smirked.

"Let's go," announced the one with shaggy black hair. It looked like he was the leader. The boys left.

Mary giggled while Lily looked at her a little warily, unsure how to feel about this not-so-shy shy first year.

"I like her," Mary whispered to Lily. "I hope she's in my house."

ϟ

**_"They whisper in the hallway, she's a bad bad girl"_ **

For the first time in Minerva's teaching career, she was letting someone else call out the first year names. Assistant Professor Jenkins, their new aide for Care of Magical Creatures, a nervous-looking man in his 20s stammering his way.

First and last time, Minerva decided, as Jenkins stumbled on the first name itself.

Kelsey stood with the rest of the first years nervously, watching them go up alphabetically.

"BLACK, SIRIUS," the Professor called next.

Kelsey saw the cocky boy from the train ride walk up to the stool like he owned the place. A few girls behind her giggled including Mary, while she and Lily seemed unimpressed. The hat seemed to pause for a minute, mumbling to itself before finally shouting "GRYFFINDOR!" The boy looking satisfied with himself went and sat at the table under the gold and red banner.

"EVANS, LILY" Kelsey wondered if they'd be in the same house. During the train ride, Lily and Mary had filled her in on the basics. Lily, just like Kelsey, was a muggle-born. Except she seemed to have already done her reading about the school. Apparently, one of their textbooks was called Hogwarts a History and Lily couldn't wait to get started on it.

Kelsey hadn't even opened her books yet from Diagon Alley yet. She had spent too much time with her parents buying unnecessary memorabilia like children in Candyland.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Ugh, great. Now her choices were between being stuck with the prat known as Sirius Black for seven years if she wanted to be with one of the friends she had made.

Maybe Mary will be in one of the other ones, she hoped. She wondered if being friends with this Lily character was worth it. As she was contemplating this, she heard something that sounded like her name being called.

"JONES, KELPIE"

A few snickers went about the hall.

"It's Kelsey," she whispered angrily to whoever was listening as she approached the chair. Busy burning holes into the professor with promises to feed him to an actual Kelpie one day. Whatever that was.

She didn't pay attention to when the professor placed the hat on her. It was hardly a few centimeters off from touching her head when it shouted.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

The first Hufflepuff of the year, the table greeted her cheerfully as she walked up to it. She sat down next to one of the older girls as they made space for her.

"You'll love it here!"

"We're all a big family."

"You'll feel right at home in no time."

She groaned into her hands. She wondered if the hat had made a mistake. It looked like she had been put in the one House with nice people. Chill people, as her parents would have said. Much to her luck, Mary of course ended up in Gryffindor with Lily, putting Kelsey in an even worse mood. She was now picking at her food while others chatted away.

"Psst. Kelpie," she heard someone whisper but she ignored it.

"Kelpie!" She felt something hit the back of her head. Rolling her eyes, she turned around to see the one they called Sirius. "See! I told you that's her name. She turned," he said to the two other guys sitting near him.

"Only because you've been pestering her for the past two minutes Sirius," said Remus Lupin.

"So you say but she didn't have to turn, you know," said James Potter, the boy she had made fun of.

Annoyed, Kelsey turned back. A few other first years at her table were watching this exchange between them. Looking up at the table to make sure no professors were looking, she sneakily grabbed three oranges. Then with her best cafeteria food fight aim, she chucked them at their heads one by one, within a span of ten seconds as they had their backs to her while bickering.

"Oi! That hurt!"

"Hey!"

"My hair!"

"It's Kelsey, you tits!" she whispered back and flipped them the bird. She heard a few gasps and saw Lily's shocked face behind the boys, on the other side of the table.

Someone loudly cleared their throat next to Kelsey. One that she recognised. She turned to see Professor McGonagall.

"Professor McGonagall! Fancy seeing you here," Kelsey joked, sounding way too familiar with the old lady. A few kids around her snorted into their drinks.

"Miss Jones, I would rather you not throw food at my first years on your first evening here," she said looking down at her through the glasses.

"But Professor!" She started but the stern look on her face made her stop on the spot. "Sorry," she dropped her head and turned back. "Next time, I'll wait till the second day," she whispered to herself.

She turned back to her food, noticing that suddenly there was some space between her and the kids who had been sitting to her left. It seems they had shifted away after watching her chuck oranges at the boys.

"Wusses," she glared at them.

She heard a soft giggle on her right and turned to see another blonde girl trying to stifle her laugh. Kelsey grinned.

"Kelsey," she reached her hand out.

"Astrid," she said, shaking her hand.

Maybe Hufflepuff wouldn't be that bad after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only thing I can guarantee in this story is a happy ending and laughs. Might not want to eat and/or drink while reading this though. Reviews and feedback always appreciated! I'll update two chapters every week most likely.
> 
> The prologue script is a parody from 'The Rumour' episode from the tv show 'Friends'.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own HP.


	2. I Did Something Bad

**Late June 1972**

Kelsey was wrong. Hufflepuff could be bad. But only a little. And only because it meant that she ended up sharing at least half her classes with the idiots who paraded around and called themselves the Marauders.

Her first year had gone by mostly smooth. She was right back where she had started, on platform 9 3/4. As all the first years had stood on the platform in June, almost every kid passed her by offering their goodbyes to a 'Kelpie' Jones.

"Why are they calling you that hun?" her mum had asked as they hugged.

"It's nuffin'," her words were muffled by the hug.

"Please, let me," Sirius Black had interrupted them.

"You see Mrs Jones, a Kelpie is a magical horse-like water spirit.

One of the finest. The rarest. The shiniest. It is only most apt that our precious Kelsey be celebrated as the same," he recited charmingly.

Kelsey had a feeling that in a few years, he would use these very skills to woo girls. But for now, her mother was his target. Not knowing any better, her mother had eaten up that nonsense. Kelsey did not have the heart to tell her otherwise so she stayed silent while standing there and wishing a piano would magically drop on his head.

Her mother was actually somewhat of a hippie and was really into that nature and soul connection stuff. While the hippie movement had not caught on as much in the UK, where people were a little more prim and proper, her mother absolutely loved the fact that her own daughter had been chosen to be revered in the name of a magical spirit. It also didn't help that her parents still had not calmed their excitement about magic. She wondered if she could use that to get them to do her summer assignments.

"Don't you have your own family to bother? I think I see them there looking mad," she interrupted Black's imitation of a Kelpie emerging from the water. She saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes before he nervously shifted his gaze to his family.

Mumbling his goodbyes he left hastily.

"I like him. Well behaved. Is he your friend?" Amelia asked. Her husband grunted next to her, while Kelsey looked at him walking back to his parents and what looked like his younger brother. He didn't look too happy to see them. And neither did they.

She felt like a massive tit.

ϟ

**October 1972**

"What is this?" A hand snatched away the comic that had been entertaining Kelsey for the past ten minutes. It was a Sunday and she was sitting in her favourite spot in the courtyard catching up on the comics she had spent all summer collecting.

"Who is Iron Man? Why aren't these pictures moving?" Sirius Black turned the comic over, confused at their stillness.

"It's a muggle comic book," she said exasperated.

"What's that?" he asked, turning the pages a little roughly. Kelsey almost fainted.

"Don't do that! They're expensive!" she snatched it away, cooing her comic, petting and smoothing over the pages where Sirius had touched them.

 _It's okay_ , she whispered to the book, clearly distressed. _The mean boy won't hurt you._

"You're mental," he stated looking at her as if she had three heads.

"You're just a dick," she retorted.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Talk so American?" he raised his eyebrows in curiosity.

"We've had this talk like a bajillion times already Black. I've only been here for seven years. Plus, my parents still-" she started explaining again.

"See there you go- Bajillion. That's not even a proper number!" he protested.

"I swear you bring this up just to annoy me!"

"But it's fuuun," he whined, laying down on his side now, holding his head up on one arm.

Suddenly, three boys came running down the courtyard from inside the castle.

"Sirius come on! Before Filch gets us!" James yelled. Kelsey saw the strangest cloak hanging under his arm.

"Later Kelps." With that Sirius was up and off jogging to catch up with them as Filch appeared, telling them to stop and surrender.

"KELSEY!" she called out after him.

"Whatever you say Jones!" he yelled looking back one last time. His hair bounced with the same boyishness of his youth, as he smiled sending a jolt of happiness through her. The moment he was out of sight, she picked up her comic and went back to her reading, with a small smile tugging on the corner of her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you liked it! Please vote/comment if you did :)
> 
> I did some research, turns out they actually introduced Iron Man in 1963. The first few chapters will be glimpses into their relationship until the 7th year starts!


	3. Mean

**Late September 1973**

"Kels watch out!" Astrid shouted. Kelsey turned around just in time to see a big blob of brownish algae hanging over her head. A few moments later, the heap of wet, stinking kelp fell on her head, drenching her robes.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" Kelsey screamed and got up.

At the same time, Lily, who had also been doing her homework next to them with Mary and Marlene, stood up. The girls had been sitting by a tree near the Black Lake on the grass. Lily's Potions essay was now drenched in the same kelp-water.

"JAMES FLEAMONT POTTER!" yelled Lily. James stopped laughing almost instantly the moment those three words left his beloved's mouth. He paled while Sirius sniggered on.

"Thought you'd miss the sea. Should feel right at home though," he shouted rolling over at the sight of Kelsey storming over to him. "Should've thrown you in the lake instead perhaps...isn't that where Kelpies live? Get it? Blimey, the options are too many!"

Kelsey rued the day they had learned about seaweed aka kelp and its magical properties in Herbology this year. Up until now, the boys had stuck to Kelpie jokes. But now they had more ammo and it simply would not do.

Remus stood next to his friends, feeling a little bad about it since Lily had been unwillingly drawn into this now. He had been the one who had told them how they could obtain kelp i.e. a specific type of brown seaweed for this prank. Peter shifted uneasily avoiding eye contact.

"Well, then you should feel right at home too, Black," she shrieked and shoved him into the Black Lake. Sirius who had seen this coming grabbed her hands and took her down with him. Both students came up for air with Kelsey still holding on to Sirius.

"You utter ass. Let me go!" she continued thrashing around, while he tried to get her to stop. Standing in the shallow part of the lake, Kelsey grabbed some of the kelp off her head and threw it at Black's face making him yell in disgust. He took a few steps in his confusion and tripped over his robes falling back.

"You ruined my hair! It's going to stink now! You'll pay for that Jones."

"Not if I get you first Black," she huffed, blowing air on the strand of kelp on her face. Sirius laughed again.

"Oh piss off!" She grabbed some more kelp and this time, tried to shove it into his mouth, toppling over him in the process. His hands came to her sides, holding her steady as she fell on top of him, both, knee-deep in the water now with Sirius on his back.

"It's 'sod off'. Piss off is so.." he searched for a word.

"American?" she finished his sentence ignoring the fact that he was still holding her. And the fact that that was sending chills down her spine that had nothing to do with the cold water.

Another thing Sirius Black always liked to tease her about? Her American slang that always made itself known when she was fuming mad.

"Mister Black! Miss Jones! This is inappropriate behaviour and I will not tolerate it!" Naturally, Minerva 'Minnie' McGonagall showed up at this very moment. "Detention. One week. Report to Filch separately. I will not have you turning detention and the sacred grounds of this educational institution into some lovefest."

Kelsey felt her cheeks flame, and separated herself from the bane of her existence without giving him the satisfaction of seeing her affected. She didn't even bother coming up with an excuse.

"Evans please! Listen to me. It wasn't meant for yo-"

"You think the fact that it was meant for one of my best friends is any better? Good Godric Potter. It's like you find new ways to reach an all-time low every year." Lily and James were arguing in the background as she grabbed her bag silently and joined Astrid who was waiting for her at a safe distance from the boys.

"Detention?" Astrid asked sympathetically. Kelsey nodded, earning herself a pat on the shoulder.

"I bet if we told Benji about it, he'd hex Sirius for you," she offered.

Kelsey giggled.

ϟ

**November 1974**

"May I compare thee to a summer's-" James started.

"No."

"Lilypad O Lilypad. Wherefore art thou-"

"It's Juliet. And absolutely not." Lily slammed her book shut. It was a free study hour and all the fourth years were sitting in the Great Hall, bent over their essays.

Kelsey smiled to herself. "I can't believe he actually memorised muggle literature. That too Shakespeare," she whispered to Mary quietly, so that Lily couldn't hear.

"He's a crazy one," Mary agreed.

"Crazy in luuurve you mean," Kelsey snickered, nudging Mary who joined her.

"Speaking of did you hear?" Marlene spoke up opposite them, looking up from her own Care of Magical Creatures essay. Lily and James were still in the middle of their argument or as James referred to it, Proclamations of Love, much to their red-haired friend's dismay.

"What?" Mary asked. Kelsey too stopped writing her Muggle Studies essay.

"A Ravenclaw caught prefect Dorcas and Sirius snogging Sirius in the second-floor broom cupboard last night," said Marlene as if it was the hottest gossip in town.

It was. Two weeks into their fourth year, the teenage hormones were catching up. Almost everyone had grown a few inches taller, and a cup size here or there. Sirius Black had finally made his move.

"No way! Snogging? You mean like on the lips?" Mary asked, eyes wide.

"Yes. Tongue too. Dorcas told me he has quite the French influence."

They giggled.

Kelsey felt sick. Not because she was jealous. But because the thought of kissing Sirius Black physically made her sick.

"Poor sod," Kelsey mumbled to herself wondering if she should offer Dorcas her condolences.

"Why are you even sitting here?! All the Hufflepuffs are on your table," Marlene tried to sound offended. "I wonder if he'd kiss me if I asked," she sighed.

The three girls turned to look at Sirius who was sitting a few seats down, between James and Remus, pretending to do homework. His hair fell over the side of his face and so the girls couldn't see him smirking as he eavesdropped on their not-so-hush conversation.

"How does one even get Sirius Black to kiss them?" Mary asked.

"You actually want to _waste_ your first kiss on that guy?" Kelsey couldn't believe anyone would be sane enough for that. Her disdain was obvious.

"That guy is Sirius Black," Mary crossed her arms.

"Exactly. We've known him since he was an icky first year," Kelsey shuddered.

"Are you blind?! Look at him! He's walking perfection," she Mary on.

"Don't bother Mary. She only has eyes for a certain someone else," Marlene eyed the dirty blonde haired fifth year approaching them.

The boy threw a small package on the table. "I think Mum accidentally sent me your socks," Benjamin Macdonald, Gryffindor prefect, and Mary's older brother stopped next to them. He had popped in between classes because he knew his sister had study-hour.

"My fuzzies!" Mary exclaimed excitedly.

"Well, you won't get him to snog you if you talk like that!" Marlene said and Mary stuck her tongue out, as she ripped open the parcel.

"Snog who?" Benjamin aka Benji sat down, interested in making sure his sister wasn't snogging boys. Kelsey shifted to make space for him. His thighs barely grazed hers, making her blush and she pretended to focus on her essay again to stop looking at his perfect face.

"Sirius Black," Marlene whispered to him, looking over his shoulder and pointing. Benjamin shook his head.

"Please don't. I don't need someone telling me my sister was caught in a closet with Black. Mum would have my head," he sounded horrified. Kelsey couldn't stop herself from laughing and earned herself a wink from the boy.

"See- Kelsey understands, doesn't she?" he smiled at her. She beamed back at him.

"Only because she'd rather snog yo-" Marlene started but a startled shriek from Kelsey interrupted them. She had spilled the ink over the table, just missing all their parchments.

The girls and Benjamin shot up, scrambling to clear their papers.

"Kelsey!"

"Oops?" Kelsey sent them a sheepish smile. She didn't know how she had done that.

"Here," Benjamin handed her, the bag he had grabbed off the table just before the ink could reach it.

"My hero," she teased and he feigned a dramatic bow. Her two friends pretended to puke.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Mary muttered.

A few seats down Sirius Black frowned at the scene. His plan to cover smug Benji, the boy who had given him detention last week in ink had backfired. The fact that it seemed that Jones wanted to snog him was most definitely irrelevant.

Beside him, Remus smiled knowingly. It was going to be a long year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you liked it! Please vote/share/comment if you did :3


	4. So It Goes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fifth-year sneak peek.

_**October 1975** _

“I swear to Merlin, if I find you in here once more this semester-” Kelsey was extremely frustrated. She frowned at the two students who had been attached as if glued together until a few moments ago. 

“Kelps. My dear Kelpie,” Sirius Black exited the closet, buttoning up the one button that had been undone. 

_Don’t look. Don’t you dare Kelsey Jones._

For the love of Helga! She was a Prefect. No matter how well-built his Quidditch trained body might be. And she bet it was, based on the noises that had been coming out of the closet. 

“This is a poor way to get back Gryffindor for beating Hufflepuff in the house cup last year,” he tsked her, straightening up. Shocked, she kept her eyes straight up. A mistake since staring into his mesmerising grey eyes only seemed to distract her further.

_Snap out of it! His eyes are not mesmerising_ , she scolded herself. 

Almost six feet now, Sirius Black had certainly grown the summer between their fourth and fifth year. A fact that every girl fourth-year and up had noticed. His jaw was more prominent, his curls darker somehow, and now if he looked at you, you could be sure to get lost in the icy grey depths of them. Playing Beater, did wonders to his physique as well, Kelsey realised as she sneaked a peek on the top of his chest right before that button had closed up. 

Meanwhile, Kelsey with her dark brown hair, and blue eyes, had barely filled into the bras her mother had excitedly purchased the moment she had realised that her daughter had matured more in the department too. She was still a full head shorter than Sirius too. It gave him an unfair advantage in sizing her up with those piercing orbs.

_Oh for the love of Pete! Piercing? Really?_ She barely managed to keep her internal monologue in check. 

“Gryffindor came in third! It’s not something to boast about,” she rolled her eyes. 

“Excuse me,” a soft voice came from behind Sirius and a raven-haired Hufflepuff Kelsey recognised as a sixth year, emerged dishevelled.

“Five points from Gryffindor and Hufflepuff,” Kelsey shouted at the girl as she disappeared down the hallway. “Really Annabelle? Consorting with the enemy? Shame on you!” 

“Taking points from your own house. That’s cold,” Sirius muttered. 

“And you!” she turned back pointing at him. “If I catch you in here once more this term..” her empty threat hung in the air.

“Why so serious Jones?” he snickers at his own joke before continuing. “I could ease that stress of yours. I know it’s OWLs this year. Perhaps a quick snog in the cupboard would do you wonders,” he said and stepped aside as if to invite her in. 

“I’d rather stab myself in the eye with a fork,” she refuted and turned away to continue her nightly prefect patrols. Of all the days for her Prefect patrol partner to fall sick. 

She heard a chuckle behind her. 

“If you’re going to throw insults at me, at least be original and don’t repeat the stuff Evans yells at James!” 

ϟ

**_Early December 1975_ **

“How was it? Spill!” 

Marlene, Lily, Astrid and Kelsey had cornered Mary after her Hogsmeade date with a sixth year, Ravenclaw. 

In their group of five, Mary was the voice of reason, Marlene was the boy-obsessed badass (both traits were mutually exclusive), Astrid was the goody-two-shoes, Lily was the responsible one with a streak of fiery flare, and Kelsey was the spitfire who didn’t hold back from wronging those who wronged her or her friends. Unfortunately, Kelsey was very Slytherin about her Hufflepuff-ness as Astrid kindly put it. How she was made Prefect was still a mystery.

“It was good,” Mary turned red, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers. “We kissed,” she added a few moments later prompting squeals from the girls.

“I can’t believe it! That means all of us except Kelsey have snogged a boy. Even sweet innocent Astrid was able to get a snog out of that awful date she went on last year,” Marlene said. 

“What?! Lily you traitor! You were supposed to be in this with me. Hoes before bros! Who was it?!” Kelsey demanded, holding Lily by the shoulders and shaking her. Her friend mumbled something, a blush creeping up her cheeks. 

“Chicks before di-”

In the distance, a dull thud could be heard. The girls paused and looked around but didn’t see anything. Kelsey thought she saw something shimmer but ignored it because there was no way she could have seen several pairs of feet on the ground without a body attached to them.

“This! This is why no boy will kiss you Kels,” Marlene fake sobbed. Kelsey gave her the finger.

“Charming,” Lily muttered sarcastically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little short, but they only get longer from here on! Hope you liked it! Next chapter up on Saturday. Honestly thank you to all the lovely people who've left a kudos and comments on this so far!


	5. “You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes”

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First kisses are a funny thing..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts off a day after the last one ended i.e. Kelsey finding out that Lily already had her first kiss.  
> Hope you like it! Comments and votes appreciated :)

**Still Early December 1975**

“James, it’s not a big deal,” Remus tried to soothe his friend the next day at breakfast. 

The girls had almost discovered the Marauders yesterday as they stood hidden under the invisibility cloak- all thanks to clumsy Peter. It had been James’ idea to snoop on them. With honest intentions, he had insisted. The poor guy just wanted to find out if Lily might reveal what she likes about a first date in the middle of all that girl talk. 

You know, for theirs one day hopefully. But from the information they had learned, James felt like that was becoming more of a dream than reality as time passed. They were already fifth years and she still hated him. Although there were times Remus thought he saw her looking at his friend curiously but they were just small blips of moments. 

It had taken James a lot of willpower to not jump from under the cloak and join Jones in shaking down his Lilypad for information on who the bloke that had the audacity to steal her first kiss was.

“What does that guy have that I don't?” James asked, slumping down on the table.

“Apart from maturity?” 

“Yeah?” 

Remus almost felt bad for him. He sounded so sincere. 

“Nothing! You’re perfect Prongs. Want me to find the chap and hex him for you?” Sirius offered cheerfully. The knowledge that Kelpie Jones still hadn’t had her first kiss had been the news of the day for him. 

But only because he now had more information to tease her with. Not because he wanted it to be him. Certainly not. Sirius’s own first kiss had been a fifth-year Gryffindor Prefect he had managed to charm to avoid getting detention for him and the boys. Dorcas had been the second. He lost track after that. However, he hadn't missed the way her eyes had stared at him in intrigue last time she caught him in the broom closet. It had been an unnecessary ego boost for him; the way she had frowned. 

“And to think I had been saving my first kiss for her,” James whined. 

“Why don’t you just kiss someone else?” Peter suggested nonchalantly through a mouthful of toast. “It’s just a kiss right?” That earned him a smack up his head from Sirius. 

“That’s what you get for eavesdropping on private conversations,” Remus reminded his distraught friend. 

“You were there too!” Sirius told him. 

“I was an unwilling participant in that charade,” Remus put his hands up to convey how much he wanted to distance himself from such stalker-ish behaviour.

“Shirts tucked in boys!” Benjamin McDonald interrupted their pity party a few moments later when he passed them. He flicked his wand and without a warning, Peter’s pants were a little higher, and his shirt magically tucked in. Sirius found his hair a little neater as his curls sorted themselves behind his ears in a smooth fashion. 

“Show off,” Sirius glared at the retreating prefect. “Who does he think he is? Calling us boys..he’s not even seventeen himself,” he said a little high pitched, puffing his chest.

“Careful Padfoot. Green isn’t a good colour on you,” Remus chuckled. 

“What?” Sirius looked confused. 

“How is this supposed to work if Lilypad and I aren't each other’s first?” James cried out suddenly, drawing attention back to himself. 

Remus sighed, “I’m surrounded by idiots.” 

ϟ

It was almost Christmas and the halls were decked with festive decorations. The Marauders sat in the courtyard huddled for warmth, with the map open. 

“So let’s go over the plan again,” said James in his most serious voice.

“For the hundredth time Prongs! Getting Lily under the mistletoe isn’t the most complicated scheme,” said Remus. “Although a creepy one,” he said to himself under his breath. 

“Hey!” Prongs protested.

“It is if she keeps running away at the sight of him,” Sirius agreed for once. However, that did not stop him from helping his best mate make dumb choices. In fact, he had an uncanny habit of encouraging them. 

On the map, they could see Evans, Astrid and Jones approaching one of the exits where they knew there was at least one mistletoe for sure. 

“You just need to be sure to walk past them at the same time. I’ll try to push the other two out of the way right?” Sirius said. 

“How is this NOT assault?” Remus wondered. 

“Easy. We’ll get Lilypad to kiss him first.” Sirius sounded smug.

“BUT I’VE NEVER KISSED ANYONE! WHAT IF I’M HORRIBLE?” The realisation dawned on their leader. 

"You should have thought of that before you dragged us into-” Remus’ scolding was interrupted.

“Shh they’re here!” Peter said pointing at the map, their eyes darted up to see the girls coming under the archway.

James and Sirius got up immediately and strutted over the girls. Astrid was the only one who smiled at them. The other two looked as if they had eaten a booger-flavoured Bertie Botts Bean. 

Coming closer right under the arch, Sirius pretended to trip over his robes, pushing Astrid and Jones out of the way. 

James came to a halt in front of Lily, looking shifty. 

“Evans,” James squeaked nervously. 

“What is it Potter?” Lily was already losing patience. She tried to walk away but found herself stuck in place. “What did you do?! Release me!” If it was possible to kill someone with a look, that would have been it. 

“Watch where you’re walking Black or I’ll hex a pair of glasses permanently onto your face,” Kelsey said as she got bumped off a few steps away. 

"I see you're chirpy as ever Jones," Sirius smiled mischievously. 

“Kels!” Astrid squealed near them drawing their attention. 

Kelsey stood frozen with Benjamin Macdonald a few inches from her, also stuck. It seemed that in Sirius’ hurry to knock the two girls out of the way, he had accidentally pushed her into Benjamin, who the boys had missed on the map right under another mistletoe.

 _Dammit, Wormtail. You had one job_ , Sirius frowned. 

“Ahh. Mistletoe,” said Benji, pointing up. Sirius saw Jones blush furiously and look at her shoes. 

“I guess I shouldn’t keep a lady waiting. It’s only polite,” said Benji.

“Yeah?” she said softly, not meeting his eyes. 

Sirius saw him lift her chin up gently and give her a boyish smile that visibly made her even pinker. It was at that moment that a lot of things happened. 

Annoyed at Prongs for taking his time to kiss Evans and at Wormtail for his carelessness, Sirius pulled his wand from under his robes. With great force and determination, he blasted the mistletoe off the archway with a _Reducto_ while rushing over to them.

With the mistletoe gone, Jones and the Macdonald boy were no longer held in under its spell.

“Sweet Circe James! It’s not that difficult. Just kiss Evans. Like this!” Sirius pushed a confused Benjamin out of the way. He grabbed Jones’ face and pulled her in. 

Too stunned to respond Kelsey stood there wondering how she had gone from having the first kiss she had dreamed of to one that would give her nightmares. Probably. 

But she was surprised to learn that Sirius’ lips were soft and warm. She felt herself kissing him back on instinct. A dream-like feeling overtook her senses. 

There was audible gasping and a few thuds of some girls fainting in the distance from shock.

“Is the world ending?” 

“It’s an omen!”

“Kelpie Jones is kissing Sirius Black!” someone shouted. 

“Oi watch the tongue, there are first years here!” another called out. 

The last one pulled her out of her reverie and she pushed him away roughly. Lips swollen, thoroughly snogged in plain view, she touched her lips and a moment later rubbed them furiously as if to eliminate all traces. She turned to see Lily and James staring at her bewildered, still stuck, and Astrid standing with a hand over her mouth in awe, cooing. 

Benji had fallen to the ground when Sirius had pushed him away. He looked a little embarrassed at having been pushed so easily by a fifth year. 

“I guess I’ll see you around Jones,” Benji scratched the back of his head and walked away without further comment. 

“Benji no! Wait,” she called out after him in dismay but he didn’t stop. She turned back to Sirius who was looking at her dazed. She grabbed the largest, bulkiest, heaviest, book from her bag. 

“THERE! ARE-YOU-HAPPY-NOW?!” She said between smacks. “You-” the rest of that sentence was a string of the most Un-British, most improper expletives as Kelsey attacked Sirius with the book repeatedly. 

Sirius didn’t even budge. His lips were still tingling from kissing hers and all he could feel was the irritating drop in his stomach and he looked at her as tears started forming in her eyes. He hadn’t meant to enjoy the kiss. It was supposed to have been more demonstrative in nature. 

“Sorry,” he whispered and Kelsey stopped, surprised that he actually apologised. Having the decency to look ashamed, he walked away towards the Quidditch Pitch silently.

Next week, at home on Christmas morning, Kelsey found the latest editions of a Spider-man comic arrive by owl. There was no signed letter other than a note with a little paw print. 

The Marauders didn’t bother her for the rest of the year. 


	6. mad woman

**July 1976**

“It’s so hot I could die.”

“Woe is me!” 

Mary and Kelsey exclaimed loudly at the same time and dropped their heads dramatically on the table at Florean Fortescue's. 

It was the middle of their Summer break and the heat was getting to the girls. As part of their annual tradition, they were in Diagon Alley catching up on their summers. Astrid and Marlene though were away until another few weeks with their family. 

Lily shook her head muttering _Drama Queens_ to herself. “I’d suggest you eat those ice creams before they melt then,” she said.

“Can you believe it? We’re sixth years already,” said Mary as she scooped a spoonful of Toffee Apple. 

“Thank god OWLs are overs. The whole year was a nightmare,” Kelsey shuddered. 

“Yeah,” Lily said softly. Mary and Kelsey shared a look. Lily had been unusually disappointed all day while they scoured through stores. 

“Look. My offer is still up. I’d be happy to hex Snape for you. You might have to wait till we’re back in school though. Underage magic and all y’know,” Kelsey said. 

“I thought Hufflepuffs are supposed to be nice,” Mary wondered. “I’ve seen you threaten more people since day one than most Slytherins in our year.”

“No. Hufflepuffs are fiercely loyal. And that greasy git will only get what he deserves. As do those other idiots who-shall-not-be-named,” Kelsey grabbed her wand, waving it around dangerously. 

“Please don’t. I don’t want you turning into another Potter: walking around defending my honour,“ said Lily bitterly. Kelsey sighed and put her wand down. 

“Uh oh. Speaking of the devils,” Mary groaned. The girls towards the street side of Diagon Alley to see the four boys walking over to them. 

“Good afternoon ladies,” said Sirius. Remus sent them a small smile, looking extremely worn out. James ruffled his hair and Peter stood there looking at them blankly. 

“Not today guys,” said Mary, silently hinting at them to walk away. Which they of course ignored. 

“Evans, can I have a word?” Potter sounded earnest. 

“Are you stalking me now? It’s bad enough that I have to deal with you every day at school.” Lily sounded exasperated and tired. Without a word she got up, threw the rest of her ice cream in the trash and stormed off leaving Mary and Kelsey behind. 

“Women,” they heard Sirius mutter causing Kelsey to send him a dirty look. Seeing James stand there dejected, she actually felt really bad for him. This time, he really hadn't done anything. It looked like he still felt awful for the whole Snape _M-word_ fiasco. 

“Not your day Potter. She’s still upset. He was her oldest friend you know,” Kelsey was trying to be nice. 

“Keyword: Was. The git called her the _m-word_ ,” Sirius protested but Remus held him back and shook his head telling him to stop speaking. 

“Just give her some time to cool. Erm, probably best if you avoid her for a few weeks once school starts too,” Mary added. 

“Okay,” he whispered, sounding like a lost puppy. 

_He does follow Lily around like one_ , thought Kelsey. 

“Ah screw it!” Kelsey got up and hugged James. This was a classic Amelia Jones move to cheer up people. The shocked boy slowly brought his hands around her and hugged back. “I’ll talk to her for you,” she whispered and felt him nod. She pulled away and smiled. 

“It’s weird seeing you bummed,” she said and pinched his cheeks making everyone except Sirius laugh. James turned a little pink. She went to ruffle his hair like a kid but he swatted her hand away and pulled her in for another side hug whispering another _Thanks_. 

“This is the first and last time you can expect me to be this nice. But only because you left me alone for half the year,” Kelsey joked. 

She saw Sirius looking at her funny, standing stiff, his eyes fixed on James’ arms around her shoulder. 

Remus looked amused. 

**September 1976**

“Really, Black? Again?” Kelsey called out, sounding tired. It was a little past nine in the evening and Kelsey was on patrol with another Ravenclaw prefect. Or she had been until a minute ago. You see, the pair heard a bit of shuffling in the next corridor which had naturally prompted Kelsey to come over. 

But her partner, Barneby Belter, seemed reluctant to and had skirted off, pretending to check another hallway. Almost as if he knew what they would find here. 

“Lovely evening, innit?” Sirius mused appearing from the shadows. Kelsey looked shiftily behind him. She thought she saw something shimmer but maybe it was just her eyes playing tricks. Coincidentally, they were standing next to a small broom cupboard on the ground floor, by the courtyard. 

“Who have you got in there this time?” she asked peeking at the cupboard. 

Sirius shook his head. “Just me,” he said. 

She walked over to him, taking in his appearance. He didn't look dishevelled. The shirt buttons were all proper. He had paired it with some Snitch-themed pyjama bottoms that hung low on his hips. Realising where her gaze was, she focused on his face.

His lips were the normal amount of pink - not the post-snogging kind. They weren't pink. Not too pink that is.

"See something you like?"

Kelsey's thoughts were interrupted.

"You need to go back now," she ignored what he had said.

"But it's such a nice evening! Bright full moon. Perfect for a stroll in the forest," Sirius started protesting.

"Exactly it's past curfew. Don't make me give you detention," she warned.

"Live a little. Smell the roses. Take a stroll," he started walking away from her and she immediately followed.

"I am literally on a patrol," she reminded him, catching up. She grabbed his hand, making him stop.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Kitchens?" Sirius asked, sounding unsure.

"Oh hell no. Off you go, back to your dorms. Don't make me bind you & drag you myself," she said drawing out her wand.

"Kinky. Didn't know you had it in you Jones," Sirius drawled suddenly leaning over to her, reaching out to caress her face. She swatted his hand away. "Sadly, I'm on a time crunch here. Raincheck perhaps," he started.

Kelsey wondered how he could be so bold. Did other prefects always let him off? She needed to have a word with Belter.

"Oh! Would you look at that! By the moon up there! Is that a bird? A plane?" Sirius faked, trying to draw her attention, but she held him back by the collar.

"Dorms. Now. Wouldn't want a big bad wolf coming for you on this bright full moon," she joked unknowingly and started pulling him towards the Gryffindor dorm.

"What did you just say?" Sirius dragged his feet, making her come to a stop. He looked at her a little worried, almost scared. She felt bad.

"Don't get your knickers in a twist! It was a joke, Black," she rolled her eyes. "Because it's a full moon? There aren't any werewolves out there in case you were actually scared."

"You're not going to let me go are you?" Sirius sighed.

"Should've walked away like Belter did."

Kelsey thought she heard something howl in the distance, or maybe her ears were just playing tricks. She needed to find out what he was up to.

Why was Black so antsy?

"Why?" She looked away distractedly towards the forest.

"Sorry about this Jones," was the last thing she heard before a spell knocked her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Votes and Feedback appreciated. Y'all out there subscribing, bookmarking and sending kudos-es my way- I see you!
> 
> Also question: Do you guys have an update schedule preference? I can do both chapters on weekends, versus splitting them throughout the week.


	7. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is January 1977 aka post-Winter break during their 6th year!

**January 1977**

“Soo..” Kelsey started off. “Come here often?” she asked. Benjamin looked at her funny and grinned. 

_ Great. Now he thinks you’re an idiot.  _

The day had come. Last week, Benjamin Macdonald had finally asked her out on a date - her very first date - to Hogsmeade. 

“What I meant was umm-” she stammered. “Crazy weather amiright?” She said looking at the sky. 

It was a clear December day. She heard him chuckle. 

“Want to know a secret?" he said, looking at her with a reassuring smile. She nodded silently. "I’m just as nervous on the inside,” He took her hand in his and they entered the town, chatting away about the latest Honeydukes crazes and his NEWT classes. 

Lost in their own world they didn’t notice the suspiciously large group of students following them not so subtly several feet behind. 

“This is so wrong on so many levels. I am officially disgusted. Feels a bit incestuous to be creeping like this,” Mary complained to her gang of giggling girlfriends. 

“That sodding perv! Do you see that?” Sirius exclaimed the moment he saw Benjamin take her hand. Dressed in a muggle band shirt, heavy denim and his signature leather jacket, he walked beside the Marauders, with his hand in his pockets. He kicked a pebble off the road. 

“They’re just holding hands, Pads,” Moony rolled his eyes. 

“What a pedo! She’s younger than him!” 

“Pads, you used to kiss seventh years when we were fifteen,” Prongs reminded him. 

“Can’t he  _ like  _ keep it in his pants?!”

“And now you’re talking like Jones. We don’t say ‘like’ that way Padsy,” teased Wormtail. 

A rogue snowball hit Sirius on the back of his head. 

“That’s my brother you’re talking about, you numbknut!” Mary called out from behind the boys. 

They turned to see Jones’ other friends also following the couple. They broke out into an argument over who had the right to follow them.

“Why are you even following them? Lily’s right here!” Marlene yelled. 

“Hey!” Lily elbowed her. 

“Unless you had a change of heart, Potter, and now you’re into our lovely Kelsey ever since your moment in Diagon Alley,” said Mary, wriggling her eyebrows. 

“What moment?!” Lily asked a little too harshly. 

“You have been avoiding Lily this term. Unusually so,” wondered Astrid, tapping her chin. 

“What? No! Never. Lilypad this was ALL Sirius’ doing. He’s  _ like  _ obsessed with her. It’s unhealthy, really,” James shook his head and started refuting.

“Now who’s the one talking like Jones,” said Sirius smugly. Remus nudged him. “Can’t be more unhealthy than your obsession with Evans though. No offense, Evans, you’re lovely as usual- Prongs!” Sirius rubbed the back of his head in the spot where James had hit him. He carried on. “Plus, I’m just following Jones to watch her make a fool of herse-”

“Uhh guys,” Peter interrupted. “Where did they go?” 

It seems as if the couple on their first date had vanished. The eight students stood in the middle of Hogsmeade looking around to see if they could spot them entering any stores but they had disappeared. 

In a small alley between Madam Pudifoots and an old Apothecary, Kelsey and Benjamin stood next to each other with their backs pressed against the wall. 

“I can’t believe it. They were actually following us! Those sodding as-” Kelsey said.

“Sshh,” Benjamin whispered. Their eyes met and they held back a laugh. 

“I’ll check if the coast is clear. And then we run across the street into The Three Broomsticks. Okay?” 

“Okay,” she said, preparing herself to sprint.

When was the last time she had any physical activity? Probably when she had chased Potter and Black down the hallway the morning after Black had stunned her and left her in a corridor, sending Bat Bogey Hexes. That was months ago. 

“Now!” 

Breaking her from her daydream, Benjamin tugged her hand and they ran across the street. Just outside the pub, they came to a stop when Kelsey tripped over her ankle boots and straight into Benji’s arms. 

“Oof,” she humphed and found herself on top of him. 

“Hey,” he whispered looking up at her, blowing strands of hair away. 

“Hey,” she breathed. She reached out a hand to move said strand. He reached a hand out to steady her and then they both got up together. 

“We made it,” she said. He nodded, biting his lip. “I guess we should go in?” she shuffled her feet in the snow, hands grasped behind her back.

“Sod it,” she heard Benjamin say under his breath. He cupped her face and lowered his face, chastely planting his lips on hers. 

It wasn’t as warm as her first kiss with Sirius. Nor did it fill her tummies with butterflies. 

_ What is wrong with me? _ She wondered. When Benjamin didn’t feel her kiss back, he stopped and broke away. 

“Shite. I’m sorry Kels. I didn’t mean to jump you, I just-” he started apologising instantly. 

“Don't be! You just caught me off guard,” she said hastily. She reached to wrap her arms around him and pulled him back for another kiss. Perhaps a take two would help. 

Their lips were about to meet again when she felt something cold hit her bum. She was confused as to why it hit her skin so directly. She pulled away.

“Nice knickers, Kelpie!” called out a voice. 

Kelsey shrieked and reached her hand behind her to feel cold snow sliding down her legs. Between her rush to get to the Three Broomsticks and the fall, her skirt had ridden up her butt and she wasn’t wearing stockings. What she was wearing was her underwear with teddy bears on them. 

She turned to see Sirius Black strutting over with a smug look on his face. Behind him Remus stood with his head in his hands looking embarrassed, while James diverted his gaze, trying not to look at anyone’s knickers unless they were Evans’. Obviously. 

“You-you did this!” She blamed him, still turning around trying to find a spot to pull down her skirt from. 

_Just like a dog trying to catch its own tail_ , Sirius mused, having had some personal experience with that. 

After managing to smoothen down her skirt, she didn't have it in her to face Benjamin who probably thought of her to be a harlot now. A harlot who wore teddy themed undies.

“Eager to get into his pants I see. Although might want to ask him if he’s into girls who wear cartoon knickers,” Sirius chortled. He stopped right in front of the couple, who avoided each other’s gaze now. 

“That’s it!” Kelsey geared up while Benji tried to hold her back. She pushed him off with surprising force. 

She ran to Sirius before he could understand what was happening and pushed him to the ground, falling on top of him again. Except this time she tried to grab the snow off the ground and stuff his face with it. 

“Eat shit Black,” her gloved hand pushed his head into the snow. 

“What is this?!” An appalled Professor McGonagall rushed out of the pub. “ Mister Black! Miss Jones! And you three! My office, now!” 

“Never before have I seen a more badly behaved bunch of students in my career.” Minerva McGonagall paced around her office with Pomona Sprout standing in the corner shooting disappointed looks at Kelsey. "The two of you are supposed to be Prefects, setting a good example for our younger students!"

Kelsey and Remus had the decency to look ashamed. 

“Yet,” interrupted Sirius. 

“Excuse me?” Mcgonagall shot him a look. Kelsey and the other three Marauders stared at him horrified. 

“What you mean, Minnie, my dear, is: ‘Never before have I seen a more badly behaved bunch of students’  _ yet _ ,” emphasised Sirius.

McGonagall didn’t know how right he was. She would remember this scene fondly fifteen years later when Harry Potter and Ron Weasley would crash a blue Ford Anglia into the Whoomping Willow. 

But until then, she could still punish these troublemakers. 

ϟ

“Detention! Until the end of next week!” Kelsey cried woefully into her pillow back in her dorm. 

“Must you be so dramatic?” Astrid sounded almost bored. She sat next to Kelsey on the bed patting her gently. 

“I AM GOING TO KILL HIM!”

“Yes you are,” Astrid cooed. 

“In his sleep.”

“Whatever you say.” 

“‘I’m going to make him suffer,” she seethed. 

“But of course”. 

“I wish I was in Slytherin. I bet they’d help me plan revenge,” she mumbled into her pillow. 

“Hey!” Astrid hit her with a pillow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please vote and don't forget to subscribe for updates!
> 
> The juicy seventh-year stuff finally starts in the next chapter. Although this was one of my favorites to write so far.


	8. ...Ready For It?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So 7th year finally starts! I hope you've been enjoying the build-up! As usual votes and other feedback appreciated! 
> 
> Oh the things I have planned :3

“Are you sure about this?” Astrid eyed Kelsey nervously as they stood in their dorm getting ready for the first day of their seventh year.

The other girls in their dorm ignored them as always. In the last six years, Kelsey and Astrid, and the other three girls had come to an unspoken understanding of staying out of each other’s way. It was either that or the fact that they were low-key scared of Kelsey, as Astrid suspected. 

“Yes,” Kelsey sounded determined as she fixed her tie and put on her robes. 

“That you want to take on the Marauders?” Astrid clarified.

“Just the one,” Kelsey smoothed down her skirt and grabbed her bag. 

“They’re kind of a packaged deal you know? You can’t _still_ be mad about the-” 

“He threw a snowball at my bare knicker covered butt!”

“That’s not _exactly_ bare-” 

“Benji didn’t speak to me for a week!”

“You said the kiss didn’t feel right-” 

“He stunned me! During night patrol. That mother beeper then had the audacity to run away!” Kelsey huffed as the girls walked down the dorm stairs. 

“He got a week's detention and twenty points docked.”

“He DYED my hair Red and Gold!”

“It’s only one colour away from Hufflepuff. Golden is basically yellow. Anyway, it washed off..”

“After two weeks!” 

“I guess.”

“I can feel it Tatty! This is going to be our year.”

“Could you not call me _that_. Also, don’t include me in this. I don’t want to fall on the wrong end of their pranks when yours go wrong,” her best friend insisted. 

“Oh ho ho. Sirius Black is going to rue the day he met me,” Kelsey proclaimed as they entered the Hufflepuff common room. That loud, bold statement earned them a few wary looks from their fellow students just like it had on her first day, six years ago. 

“Oh, dear. He created a monster,” mused Astrid. “Please _try_ and set a good example for the younger students?” 

They left the common room and walked towards the Great Hall for breakfast and to pick up their timetables. They discussed their classes, with Kelsey wondering which ones they’d share with the Gryffindors. 

“What if something goes wrong and you find yourself on the receiving end of even more embarrassing pranks?” Astrid asked as they sat on the table. 

She shrugged, thinking over the six years of teasing she had put up with. Well not put up with exactly, she almost always managed to get herself in trouble when trying to retaliate. But not this year. Even if she did get in trouble this year, it was still worth the effort. Someone had to give them a taste of their own medicine. Kelsey looked around to make sure the four boys weren’t around before continuing. 

“This Hufflepuff doesn’t give a Hufflefuc-” 

“Language! Jones! There are virgin ears here.” On cue, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin walked up to the two girls at the Hufflepuff table. It’s as if they magically popped up out of nowhere. 

Kelsey snorted, “Yeah. You.” 

A few students at the table choked on their pumpkin juice. 

“She got you there mate,” Remus patted him on the shoulders in solidarity. 

“Well, don’t tell them that!” Sirius shrugged Remus’ hand off him. ”Anyway, it would take a special lady to be my first. Position’s open,” He sent a wink at the girls around them making them giggle into their plates. 

“Ew, you perv! They’re fifth-years!” Kelsey exclaimed, making Sirius pale. 

“What?! I thought they were sixth-years at least! I mean look at the tits on-” Sirius started and almost instantly earned himself a slap from one of the girls. Said random Hufflepuff got up and stormed away. 

As always, Kelsey and Sirius started bantering, ignoring everyone and everything around them. Astrid and Remus sighed and rolled their eyes at each other, silently communicating how thick their best friends were. 

“You think they know?” Astrid whispered to him. 

“Doubt it.”

“Should we tell them?”

“They’ll figure it out. Sirius is almost there. He spent all summer thanking Merlin that Macdonald was gone for good. He couldn't fathom why though,” Remus shook his head. 

“She has a plan,” Astrid sounded bored. 

“So does he,” Remus mentioned. He twiddled his thumbs, and a distant look came upon him as if considering something. 

“Merlin’s beard! Between James’ master plan for Lily and whatever these two got going, this year’s going to be a doozy!” 

ϟ

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Kelsey winked at Astrid.

“Gross,” Astrid scrunched up her nose but handed her the timetable anyway. She looked over the NEWTs her best friend was taking. 

Potions, Care of Magical Creatures, Muggle Studies, Transfiguration, Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts. Everything Kelsey needed to qualify to work in the Muggle Relationships department at the Ministry. Still close to her muggle roots, Kelsey couldn't imagine a better-suited position for her. She wanted to be a liaison or ambassador of sorts. 

_Monday, Wednesday, Friday:_

_Potions, Muggle Studies, Lunch, Double Defence Against the Dark Art, Study Hour_

_Tuesday, Thursday:_

_Double Transfiguration, Study Hour, Lunch, Double Care of Magical Creatures, Double Charms_

Kelsey had Potions, Transfiguration and DADA with the Gryffindors. Because these were NEWT level classes, not everyone in their seventh year took the subjects they started out with. She had dropped Herbology. She had Charms with the Ravenclaws and Care of Magical Creatures, and Muggle Studies with a mix of students from other houses because of the low numbers. 

“Potter, give it back!” The two girls turned to see Lily jumping to grab her timetable from Potter’s hands, who kept tugging it out of reach, in the middle of the corridor. 

“NEWT level Potions? Bloody brilliant! Me too Lilypad!” James shouted. 

“I’m not taking it to be with you Potter! I need it to become an apprentice at a Potions Apothecary in Diagon Alley,” she announced crossing her arms, having given up attempts to grab it back. Students rushed around them trying to get to class. 

James, Lily, Kelsey and some Prefects were standing in the corridor outside the Great Hall to help guide lost first years.

“That’s if you’re still alive in a year, mudblood,” spat a Slytherin, shoving roughly into Lily’s shoulder, making her frown. Kelsey turned to look at the scene. James stood there with her timetable still in his hand, fisting his other tightly. 

“That includes you too.” snickered another, bringing his attention to Kelsey. “You’re my traitor of a brother’s little girlfriend, aren’t you? He's always _sniffing_ around you,” Kelsey recognised him as Regulus. He looked at Kelsey, a few feet away, with cold eyes. A younger-looking Sirius with more pronounced hatred in his eyes. Her stomach dropped a little. 

“That little shit,” she heard a familiar voice mumble behind her. She turned to see Sirius pulling his wand out of his robes and marching over to his younger brother. 

_SMACK!_

Before Sirius had made it, James had sucker-punched the other seventh year in the face, Avery something, with his bare fists. 

“James! You’re Head Boy!” Lily was horrified yet grateful on the inside. Although she would never admit it for fear of inflating his already giant ego. 

“Yeah! Did you see how I got his head good?” 

“You can’t hit people!” 

“Wait a minute- You called me James!” 

“Let’s just go!” Lily grabbed him by the arm and pulled him away in the direction of their first class. They were gone before the two Slytherins could retaliate. 

“Us too,” mumbled Sirius gripping Kelsey's robes and dragged her in the opposite direction. She tried to protest and stop him because their class was in the other direction with James and Lily. But he held her hand tightly in his, she looked at him stoic and lips pressed thinly into a line. 

Kelsey figured they could take the long way to Potions for once. 

ϟ

“He wasn’t always like this,” Sirius said sometime later. The pair had almost reached the Potions classroom. 

“No?” Kelsey asked.

“When we were nine and eight, we held Quidditch matches with our cousins- Andromeda, Cissy and Bella,” he said. “They’d tease him for being short- well Cissy and Bella would. He’d come crying to me, scared to complain to mum. Then I’d ‘accidentally’ slip some pustule potions in their cereal,” Sirius smiled to himself wistfully. 

“Sounds like them,” Kelsey gave him a sad smile. She briefly remembered the older Black cousins. 

“But now he’s right under their wing. And I couldn’t stop it,” he muttered angrily. 

“It’s not your fault,” she told him. He clearly still cared about Regulus on some level. He still had hope for him. How could he not? 

“This stuff is so ingrained in our upbringing it’s revolting,” he said with a dark look. 

“But you’re not like them. Wait- you don’t still live at home do you?” she wondered in horror. What if that had just given his family ammunition to hurt him at home. She didn’t know that for the last six years, it almost had. 

“Nah,” he said looking at her. “I ran away to James’ place a while back,” he said nonchalantly.

She let out a sigh of relief. 

“Were you worried about me Jones?” he asked with a small grin. They turned into the corridor, leading up to the classroom. 

“No..I was just thinking of how ball-sy that was,” she admitted. 

“Why thank you, Jones. I do quite have the nicest pair of-”

“Aaand the moment’s gone,” she said right as they arrived at the classroom. They were late and also the last ones there. That detour had cost them five minutes. Professor Slughorn gave them a disgruntled look and beckoned them over to their respective tables. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll make time for more of these heart to hearts,” Sirius said, giving her one last wink before joining James, Remus, and Dorcas at one of the Gryffindor tables. Like one time in that winter of fifth year, Kelsey’s stomach fluttered.

Sirius Black was an enigma. 

“You left me!” Astrid complained. 

“Sorry! Sirius kinda dragged me away. Probably to stop himself from punching his dick of a brother,” Kelsey explained putting her books down. Taking her textbook out, she paused and frowned. Would he have fought his own brother for her? Even Snape abandoned Lily, and they had been best friends. Regulus was his flesh and blood.

“So it’s Sirius now is it? Whatever happened to staunchly calling him Black,” Astrid gave her a sly grin. 

“Shut up,” Kelsey said, glancing at their table across the room.

Sirius seemed to be sitting lazily sprawled across the table. He leaned over to Dorcas to whisper something in her ear. She blushed and got up to fetch ingredients. 

A small pang of annoyance flickered through Kelsey. 

Sirius Black was incorrigible. 


	9. Look What You Made Me Do

_“Our baby’s all grown up,” Theo Jones had exclaimed, wiping a fake tear off his cheek at Kelsey’s pre-seventh year party. A party that consisted of her and her parents._

_“Senior year woo!” her mom had shouted, emulating her enthusiasm for what she thought would be a senior year experience like her own in high school. Amelia Jones waved the punk rock and roll hand sign._

_It was almost as if Kelsey was the sole parent here._

_“What the fu-” Kelsey stopped herself before finishing that sentence. “Mum! It's my seventh year. Not senior year! I’ve been telling you that since my fourth year!” Kelsey complained._

_“Was that your freshman year?” her mother had asked._

_“I think so dear,” her father had confirmed._

_“Oh these Brits! You just never know with them. Dealing with primary was bad enough when you were a kid. Anyway- just don’t go too crazy having fun. I know it’s senior year but still,” her mum had wagged her finger at her._

On the second day of her seventh year, Kelsey woke up at 5 am after recalling this scene. She never woke up this early. As much as her parents had insisted she enjoy her last year, she doubted they meant waking up at 5 am to prank Sirius Black. Which is exactly what she was doing right now.

But as established before, Kelsey had a plan. Several parts of a plan actually - that she had spent summer perfecting. Much of which included mastering charms and spells. It’s a good thing she turned seventeen before school started. 

_Ha ha suck it, Black!_ Kelsey thought to herself as she threw on some clothes quietly. In the bed next to hers, Astrid stirred but didn’t wake up. She knew that Kelsey was doing what she was about to but hadn’t been bothered enough to wake up and witness it.

_Her loss_ , Kelsey thought and crept down to the common room. It was deserted. 

Kelsey waited a few seconds to make sure no one had followed her downstairs before using the disillusionment charm on herself. It had taken her two whole weeks to get this right. The way she saw it was that at least this way she was preparing for the NEWTs. She was nothing if not determined.

Hidden in plain view, Kelsey crept out of the common room with the bottle of green hair dye she had acquired at the muggle hair salon her mother frequented. Vibrant colours were very punk rock apparently. She carefully but nimbly made her way to the Gryffindor Tower, stopping every few minutes to make sure she wasn’t being followed.

“Who’s there?” she heard the Fat Lady’s portrait ask.

“A student,” she peeped.

“I can’t see you,” the portrait wondered.

“ _Draconis caput,_ ” she whispered and the door swung open nevertheless. She had acquired the password by creeping on a first-year student yesterday as they entered their common room without checking to see if the coast was clear.

“Oh, it’s one of you lot again. Reckless boys. Always staying out late. Doing the unthinkable. Hiding as if I don’t know it’s you four under that cloak,” she heard the Fat Lady mutter to herself as she entered. 

Although Kelsey hoped that she sounded nothing like a boy, she didn’t bother asking the Fat Lady who she had been talking about. She didn’t have time to mull over those words.

At 5.15 am, the common room was empty.

_Score!_ Kelsey rejoiced. 

Six years of being friends with Lily, Mary and Marlene had given her an idea where the Marauders’dorm was. So she stealthily made her way up hoping that she wouldn't come across anyone.

_Ok, this is it_. She took a deep breath right outside their door and slowly opened it.

All four boys were knocked out. James and Sirius had fallen asleep on one of the beds next to each other fully-dressed. A piece of blank parchment lay open on the bed between them. Remus had fallen asleep upright on his and Peter was out on the floor with James' leg hanging right next to his head.

_Typical boys._ She did not have time to think about the weird knick-knacks that she saw laying around. She had to be quick.

Tiptoeing into their bathroom she looked around and saw four shelves on one side of the bathroom and two showerheads. It was almost identical to theirs, except a little more red. 

Figuring out which shelf belonged to Sirius was easy. It was the only one with more than one type of hair product. But just to be sure, she opened the shampoo and smelled it.

_Definitely smells like him_ , she confirmed. Wait- since when did she know what Sirius Black’s hair smelled like? Shaking her thoughts out, she pulled out the green hair dye she had bought from the muggle salon her mother often visited. 

She opened both Sirius' shampoo and conditioner and poured it in. For her next step, she pulled out her wand and muttered a special enchantment - an extra surprise for him if you will.

_That’ll make him think twice before dyeing my hair next time._

Walking back out she almost yelped when she saw Sirius sitting up on the bed in front of her. She clamped her hand to her mouth and froze.

Sirius looked at the bathroom door funny. He could have sworn he saw it move. Shrugging it off, he stretched his arms and got up from James’ bed. The clock on the stand between their beds read 5.30 am. He still had two hours of sleep. 

_Merry bloody Christmas to me_ , he mumbled. He took off his shirt with a yawn and fell on his bed. He was out like a light in under a minute.

Kelsey let out the breath she had been holding. Her heart was racing like a Comet 260. Having one of the boys wake up had been brought up in the worst-case scenarios by Astrid. But she had shrugged it off. 

What had not been brought up was the fact that she would have to look at a shirtless Sirius Black at the crack of dawn. Her heart was not prepared for that, she realised as she saw him tug off the shirt.

_Sweet Circe’s left tit_ , she wondered and looked at Sirius Black. Playing Beater on the Quidditch team had done him wonders. He was on his back with one arm over his abdomen, breathing softly. His curls fell over his faces and Kelsey gulped as her eyes wandered to his chest. 

This would be the part of her retelling she left out later that day when talking to the girls. She wondered if Dorcas had seen him shirtless. Not that she cared. She definitely didn’t. Nevertheless, she appreciated a well-toned body. Even if it coincidentally happened to be Sirius Black’s.

Dazed and still high on the adrenaline, she left the Gryffindor common room and made her way back.

“And now, we wait,” she whispered as she fell back asleep for the last hour of the morning at 6. 

ϟ _  
_

“MERLIN’S BALLS! MERLIN’S SAGGY BALLS! MERLIN SAGGY LEFT BALL-”

“SIRIUS IT’S 7 AM. SHUT UP!” James yelled back, throwing a pillow over his head to drown out his shouts.

“MY HAIR IS GREEN!” Sirius rushed out of the bathroom.

“Blimey Pads! Is that a new style?” James asked in all honesty, peeking through the pillows. He got up for a better look.

“What the hell Prongs?!” Sirius sounded betrayed.

“Don’t look at me like that! I didn’t do _nuffin!_ ” The last part of James' statement was muffled by Sirius jumping on him to put him in a headlock.

“Change it back right now Prongsie or I _will_ show Evans that polaroid of you as a baby in a tutu!” Sirius yelled, choking his friend. James was on the ground now, tapping out aggressively and Sirius let go.

“It wasn’t me!”

“WHO ELSE WOULD DO SOMETHING SO RECKLESS? There’s literally four of us. And we’re all here!”

“Look at it this way,” Remus called out as he exited the bathroom with a toothbrush in his hand and his towel around his neck. “It could have been Green AND Silv-” he started saying but froze halfway through the sentence. “Oh dear,” he rasped fearfully.

“No! Don’t ‘oh dear’ me Moony! What is it?” Sirius cried as he ran back into the bathroom to check the mirror.

Between the emerald green, Kelsey’s special enchantment sauce was doing its job. Silver streaks were slowly making their way into his locks. He ran a hand through his hair in dismay. He returned to his bed and started putting on his uniform in a hurry.

“Hey, didn’t you dye Kelpie’s hair Red and Gold last year?” Peter said groggily as he woke up and saw Sirius’ new look.

“That Mother Kelper!”

“Although, well..look at it this way Pads..” Remus mused. Sirius looked at him in the middle of his fit. “..green is a good colour on you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Teehee. Next update on Friday and Sunday. Hope you enjoyed it- please vote/comment if you did :3


	10. Call It What You Want

Kelsey sat at the Hufflepuff table that morning with Astrid sneaking nervous glances at the door. Her breakfast lay untouched. She was still waiting for her masterpiece to arrive. 

“You need to eat,” Astrid pushed the croissants and glass of juice in front of Kelsey. 

“I’m not hungry.”

“Trust me. You’ll need the energy to run when they show up,” Astrid said with a knowing look. 

Kelsey pursed her lips and grabbed the food. “Good point,” she said while chewing. 

“KELPIE WHATEVER-YOUR-MIDDLE-NAME-IS JONES!” 

The door to the Great Hall swung open with a great thud. Almost everyone in the hall turned their attention to the commotion instantly. There were collective gasps. 

Kelsey got up a little to peek through the heads and saw Sirius Black- or should she say Sirius Green & Silver, making his way to her looking very angry. With his wand in his hand, he stormed over. 

She turned to look at Astrid who was wide-eyed. 

Her best friend mouthed  _ Run _ to her. Who was Kelsey to doubt her?  She stuffed the last of that croissant into her mouth gracelessly and got up, snatching her bag trying to make a break for it but he caught her by the robes before she could. 

“You!” He seethed venomously. 

“Oh, Mornin’ Black,” Kelsey stopped with his grip on her robes still. He looked at her with murder in his steely grey eyes. “Is something different? I could have sworn something’s different about you today,” she said, looking at him innocently. 

“You did this!” 

“I have no idea what you mean,” she said coolly. 

“Change it back!” 

The other three Marauders caught up next to Sirius in front of the Hufflepuff table with them. They stood there, arms crossed looking at Kelsey in amusement. 

“Again- no idea what you mean,” Kelsey could have sworn he almost burst a vein. “Oh- I know! It’s your hair!” She clapped her hands together. 

“Miss Jones, Miss Black!” the two turned to see the head of their houses making their way down from the professor’s table to them. 

Kelsey freed herself from his grasp and just as she was about to walk away, he pulled her to him one last time. Warmth flooded her, along with something that fluttered inside. 

He mumbled in her ear, “You’ll regret this.” She gulped and looked into his eyes. Gone was the fury, replaced with a glint of mischief. “Oh, the fun we’ll have, Kelpie,” he said before finally letting her go. 

“Bring it on Black,” she whispered back, giving him a cocky grin to match his ego. She ignored how her breath was on the verge of turning shallow from his close proximity. She rushed away before Professor Sprout could catch up with her. 

Following her, Astrid too gathered her books and sent the boys an apologetic look, along with a small smile to Remus who seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face. They hurried out, a little pink in the cheeks at the attention, however, almost all eyes returned to Sirius Black a few moments later. 

The hall had been mostly silent for this exchange, breakfast forgotten, for no one had openly dared to prank the four boys in six years. No one knew what to think of this new look or was it a prank?

Many students sniggered at the colour choice, earning themselves a glare from James and Sirius. 

“Nice hair, Black!”

“Am I going crazy or do you see that?”

“Did Sirius Black get pranked?” 

“No way! No one’s that barmy!”

“Still looks fit as a bird.”

“Is it odd that I find him hotter this way?”

“Boy do I want to Slytherin to his pants right now..”

Sirius blushed and walked over to the Gryffindor table silently, plotting his revenge. 

ϟ

“So? Tell us!” Mary said excitedly.

Kelsey, Astrid, Lily, Marlene and Mary sat at their usual spot by the Black Lake after classes on the second day. Classes for the day were over and they had an hour before dinner and so they sat working on foot-long NEWT essays. 

Kelsey sent them a sneaky smile pausing her quill, before putting it down. The girls inched closer to her. 

“Okay fine! I’ll tell you,” she proclaimed dramatically as if doing them a favour. Secretly, she had been dying to retell the tale of her heroic pursuit for justice aka project ‘Sirius Green is the new Black’.

So she did. And her friends _oohed_ and _aahed_ at the retelling. Even Lily who tried to keep a straight disapproving face was rolling over in laughter by the time Kelsey reached the part where Sirius and James slept next to each adorably.

“Blimey Lils. You’re not going soft on Potter are you?” Kelsey teased stopping her tale. 

“No- why would you even..” she spluttered. 

“Just so you know, he doesn’t snore,” Kelsey winked at the red-head who rolled her eyes. 

“As if I care!” She sounded vexed and got up, stuffing her things into her bag. 

“Aww Evans come on!” Marlene said. 

“You’re distracting me! And I do not care that Potter doesn’t snore while sleeping like an angelic baby next to Sirius! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be in the library,” she walked off.

“Did she say ‘angelic baby’?” Astrid wondered out loud, looking at Lily retreat.

“Curious words,” Marlene mused. 

“Indeed,” Mary agreed.

“She  _ is _ going soft,” Kelsey chuckled. 

“Do you think we should tell her?”

“And deprive her of the fun of figuring it out herself?” 

There was silence for a few moments. 

“Nah,” all four girls said at the same time. 

“You’re just as bad Kels,” Mary rolled her eyes. 

“What do you mean?” 

“It’s always. Sirius Black this- Sirius Black that. I swear, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were president of the Sirius Black fan club,” Mary said.

“There’s a fan club?!” 

“Yeah. Marlene almost joined it in our fifth year. Back when she was besotted with him still,” Mary nudged the blonde. Kelsey gave her a disgusted look. 

“What?! I was fifteen. He was a really good snogger!”

“You kissed him?!” Kelsey shrieked.

“Well, so did you! Just to see what the fuss was about,” Marlene defended herself. Kelsey looked at her suspiciously.

“I don’t like him!” Marlene protested.

“Sure. Call it what you want,” Kelsey said wondering why she cared that one of her close friends had kissed Sirius Black. Mary and Marlene shared a look.

“More like call it what _you_ want. I repeat- I don’t like him.”

“It’s fine if you do. It’s none of my business.”

Right?

ϟ

“Okay boys. How do we do this?” Sirius asked walking around their dorm room. 

It was after dinner and he had called an emergency Marauders meeting of the utmost importance. James and Remus were lounging on their beds looking at Sirius pace the room. 

“Where’s Wormtail?” Sirius asked when he realised that they were one short.

“I thought he was right behind us. Have you noticed- he’s been dodgy a bit recently,” James shrugged and Remus nodded. 

“Nevermind, we can fill him in when he’s here,” Sirius said to himself. 

“Coming back. We need to do something that’ll make Jones curse the day she thought of dyeing these lovely locks. I mean of all the things, she had to go after my hair?” Sirius said.

“You did the same thing to her last year!” 

“Well, she kept catching me outside the dorms on full moons. Almost as if that sneaky witch knew. It was payback,” Sirius admitted nonchalantly. 

“You’re mental!” Remus chuckled. Sirius a pillow at him that he dodged. “I’m sure she doesn’t. If she did she wouldn't still be talking to me. Neither would Astrid,” Remus spoke in a bitter tone.

“Yeah, about that Pads. I might not be able to partake as much this year,” James said sheepishly. Sirius raised his eyebrows. “You see- I’m the head boy. I’m trying to clean up my act a little. Especially since this year is my last chance with Lily,” he admitted. 

“You're ditching us for a girl?!” 

“You’re risking detention for one! Honestly, Pads, you’re one to talk. It’s always Jones this- Jones that. You practically brought this upon yourself!” James half yelled at his best friend. 

Remus looked lost between the two, wondering if he should calm them down or smack them for being so oblivious. 

Sirius pouted and sat down. His hair was still a shocking colour. He had managed to spend the first half with his winter hat on until Professor McGonagall had gleefully reminded him that it wasn’t part of the dress code during lunch. He had been sulking ever since as a few students with a death wish giggled at him. 

_ “Doesn’t feel nice to be on the receiving end does it?” Remus had chided him in an I-told-you-so manner after a Ravenclaw boy had asked him whose pants he would slither into that night. Sirius had proceeded by slithering the unsuspecting kid’s wand up his nose. Poor chap never stood a chance. _

He needed to ask Jones how long this would last. 

Sirius sat down in front of James on his bed. “Prongsie,” he whined and gave him the best puppy dog eyes, no pun intended. 

“Don’t  _ Prongsie  _ me, Padfoot. You insulted Evans,” James fake huffed crossing his arms as if to appear mad. Sirius kept staring down James for two minutes. He even threw in a lip quiver, and gleamy eyes until James groaned in defeat. 

“Fine! But nothing too awful. Nothing that would have Lilypad mad at me for too long.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Sirius said solemnly. 

“I can’t have Evans hexing me if it goes bad.” 

“It’s not  _ her _ we need to keep an eye out for,” Sirius shuddered at the thought of what else Jones was capable of.  He was almost proud. He felt weirdly fluttery at the memory of her grin that morning as she told him to bring it on. 

“Moony, you’re in, right?” Sirius asked. Remus shrugged a  _ Sure. _

“Now that we agree, I was thinking we could...”

Ϟ

“Morning Jones. Lovely day isn’t it? Sirius said airily sliding into the empty spot beside Kelsey at breakfast the next day. She sat beside Mary and Lily trying to pester Lily talking about their post-Hogwarts plans. While students usually sat at their own house tables, there wasn’t any fast rule against it during breakfast. 

Kelsey eyed him. 

“What do you want?” she asked. She went to grab her pumpkin juice when she felt his thigh brush against hers and she almost toppled the drink. 

“Just wanted to pop by and ask how long does this last,” he said cheerfully, tugging at a strand of his hair.

“It’ll wash off by next Monday,” she said. It was Wednesday of the first week still. 

“Lovely,” he said smiling like a maniac. She felt nervous. 

“Is he okay?” she heard Lily whisper to Mary in front of her. Her friends looked at her concerned. 

Oh no.

“What did you do?” she asked, her voice a little high pitched, realising that Black might not wait to retaliate. 

“Whatever do you mean,” he said calmly. 

She went to grab a muffin but her hand bumped into his at the same time, as he too reached for the last one. She flinched. 

“Go ahead,” he said nicely. 

“No”

“You want it, don't you?”

Kelsey shook her head. “Not anymore. You probably poisoned it”

Sirius fake gasped. “Why would I?”

“For err- you know,” she pointed at his hair and went to pull a strand herself. He froze as her fingers wrapped around a silver streak and tugged it in a bounce. He looked at her softly before clearing his throat. 

“You’re not mad?” she said, unconvinced. 

“Kelpie you wound me! Must you think so little of me? I just asked so that I knew when I could expect girls lining up again.” He shot a wink at some girls on the table around them while some students glared at him. “Although I must say, Jones, turns out, quite a few are into the Slytherin look- so who knows. Maybe I’ll get my first snog of the year out of the way much quicker,” he grinned cheekily. 

“Care to be my first?” he offered. Kelsey scoffed. 

“Forget it,” she muttered and got up. Now on edge, her appetite was ruined. 

“Lonely!” Sirius burst out into a chant right as she left the table making her look at him disbelievingly. “I am so lonely...these lips have nobody...all on my own..” he sang to himself, staring off into space. 

“He’s mental,” said Mary.

“I think he’s finally lost it,” Lily affirmed. 

“No- he’s definitely up to something,” Kelsey was sure. 

Ϟ

The first week of NEWTs went by in a breeze. Quickly that is- the new material they were learning was hardly easy. 

To add to that, with Sirius in a good four of her classes- Potions, Transfiguration, DADA, and Care of Magical Creature. Kelsey was paranoid for most of her day. Although nothing happened and Black didn’t make a move, she flinched every time he winked at her across the room as if suddenly expecting to find herself hanging mid air, knickers exposed. 

Moreover, she had to watch Dorcas fawn over him throughout Potions for he would smoothly woo her into doing most of the Potions-making. She then had the misfortune of catching him in a broom cupboard by the dungeons, furiously snogging a sixth-year Slytherin’s face off. 

The blonde-haired girl’s hand had been aggressively tangled in his Slytherin-themed curls moaning  _ Sweet Salazar  _ wantonly . 

Kelsey had been really close to  _ Obliviating _ herself. 

“There’s room for one more,” Sirius had shot a smirk her way and opened the door as if to invite her in. 

“Arggh!” Kelsey had thrown a hissy fit and stalked off.

She didn’t know which was worse: Her paranoia or her annoyance at seeing him eat another human being’s face off. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next chapter up on Sunday! As usual kudoses/feedback welcomed!


	11. The Man

Breakfast was Kelsey’s favorite meal of the day. Not because it was the most important one. Oh no. But because it was the only time of the day she got to stuff herself with chocolate flavoured buttery croissants.

Kelsey picked up her pumpkin juice to add further zing to her meal and was about to take a sip when she thought she felt something hit the back of her head. Reaching a hand behind her head, she felt for a disgusting ball of clumped up cereal and removed it. 

“Black!” she yelled and turned around to glare at them at the Gryffindor table. 

“Oops,” Sirius Black said with a shrug. But he clearly didn’t mean it. There was something off about his tone, but she did not want to spend too much time thinking about it. She couldn't believe that this was his pathetic attempt to get back at her. 

Lumpy cereal in the hair? Really? Maybe he was losing his touch. 

She drank the juice. 

Opposite her, Kelsey saw Astrid glance shyly at Remus over at the Gryffindor table. The three boys minus Peter were currently bunched together and talking in low whispers, looking rather solemn.

A few moments later, Lily approached them and said something to Potter. The Head Boy got up and followed her out of the hall. Looking back at Black, Kelsey couldn’t believe her eyes as Peter Pettigrew was suddenly right beside the other two. 

_Where did he come from?_

“What do you think they do huddled like that all the time?” Astrid wondered.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Kelsey teased. But something didn’t sound right. Her voice came out a little lower than normal.

“Uh Kelsey,” Astrid looked at her a little worried. 

“Yeah?” her voice came out a little rougher than usual once again. Was she coming down with something? 

Kelsey crossed her eyebrows and cleared her throat a little more aggressively. 

“Check- check. Mic check. 1-2-3,” she tested it the Muggle way, earning some bewildered looks. 

“What happened to your voice?” Astrid whispered leaning over.

“Thanks for noticing, that’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out!” Kelsey snapped a lot more hoarse now. 

“I just asked!” 

“Concern noted,” Kelsey panicked. 

“What the fudge!” she got up hastily and felt her throat. A strange blob by her voice box. 

What in the name of Helga was that? 

“You sound like a boy!” 

“Yes! I can hear myself!”

“Oh my Gosh stop speaking you’re creeping me out!” Astrid backed away opposite her, looking a little horrified. 

“Astrid!” Kelsey groaned. 

“Don’t say my name like that, you perv!” Astrid covered her chest in modesty. 

“Mornin’ ladies!” The cheerful sound of the boy also known as He Who Is Walking Satan made itself known next to them this Monday morning, week two of their seventh year. 

“What?!” Kelsey barked. 

“Blimey Kelps. That’s a nasty cold!” Sirius said with a twinkle in his eyes. “Couldn’t help but notice you looked a little distressed from our table.”

Peter stood next to him snickering away while Lupin rolled his eyes. 

Kelsey glowered at him, the pieces coming together. The distraction hitting her on the back of her head; Peter disappearing and reappearing at their table; her juice that she only now realised had tasted very slightly off.

She gasped. 

“I heard salt water’s good for the sore throat,” Remus offered with a straight face. Astrid brought her hand up to her mouth to stifle her laugh. 

“What did you do?!” Kelsey asked in her now, fully-developed boy’s voice. 

“Oh my fudge! I sound like a boy!” She put her hands between her head and sat back down on the table. 

“Just a little something called payback Jones,” Sirius sat down next to her. He patted her on the shoulder. Head still on her arms, she turned it to the right to glare at him. 

“Don’t worry it’ll wear off,” he said. “Eventually.” 

Before Kelsey could grab him, he was up and off, dragging Remus by the collar with Peter on their heels. 

“Chop chop Jones. You know how Slughorn hates latecomers!” His cry echoed through the hall earning a few looks at an enraged Kelsey. 

“Watch your back, Pettigrew. You’re on my shit list!” Kelsey called back as their robes disappeared outside the door. 

She could hear laughter around her and students pointing at her new voice. 

“You don’t think she meant that, do you?” Pettigrew asked, sounding a little scared. He stopped outside the Great Hall to give his two friends a worried look.

“Don’t worry Wormtail” Sirius brought the smaller boy in a headlock and ruffled his hair. “Padfoot and Moony got your back.”

ϟ

“This is quite the pickle,” Poppy Pomfrey examined Kelsey’s newly formed Adam’s Apple and asked her to speak a few lines, testing the new voice. “Why don’t you head on to class dear, while I pull up a few potions and we can get this sorted by the end of the day?” The nurse offered her a smile.

“But I can’t go like this!” Kelsey insisted. 

“Oh my! That is certainly loud,” Poppy winced at the roughness of her voice. 

“Fix it!” she demanded.

“Young lady, that is no way to talk to your elders!” the nurse wagged her finger at her. 

“Please?” Kelsey said trying to appear timid. 

Madame Pomfrey sighed. 

“It was something they added to your pumpkin juice, you said?” she questioned. Kelsey nodded. She wanted to speak as little as possible. 

“You can stay here until lunch. I’ll do some quick browsing through the catalogs to see if we have an antidote or remedy to it. But after that I’m afraid you’ll need to return to classes,” she said gently patting her hand. 

“Those boys are more trouble than they’re worth. Should be increasing my pay from all the injuries and mishaps I’ve dealt with from their antics alone,” the nurse grumbled and got up, heading to her office at the back. 

ϟ

“Hey, Lily!” Kelsey called out when she saw Lily Evans walking down the corridor ahead of her. It was just after dinner. 

Kelsey had managed to avoid her morning classes by hiding out in the Hospital Wing. As the day progressed it only got worse. She had missed Potions and Muggle Studies. Defence Against the Dark Arts had been nothing short of torture. Thankfully since they were still reviewing previous materials for the NEWTs, she got away without having to speak.

But she hadn’t spoken up no matter how much Black and Potter taunted her. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. At least the coast was clear for now. 

“Oh no. That’s really bad. Are you alright?” Lily looked at her concerned. Kelsey had refused to speak even to Mary and Marlene during lunch, hiding away in the common room instead. 

“I have to visit Madame Pomfrey after breakfast again tomorrow,” Kelsey mumbled. Lily was sweet. She would never make fun of her. “He didn’t even say how long it would last,” she whined. 

“You’d think with the NEWTs, they would be more focused on studying but nooo. Stupid Potter with his stupid pranks!” Lily chattered. 

“I didn’t say anything about Potter,” Kelsey pointed out. 

“Oh. Right. Force of habit,” Lily had the decency to blush. 

“You know, the girls keep telling us, we’re obsessed with those two dorks. They’re wrong! We're the victims here!” Kelsey announced. 

“They are!” Lily agreed enthusiastically. 

“You get me Lils,” Kelsey said with a playful wink.

“Hey-you want to check out that new muggle store opening in Hogsmeade next month?” Kelsey asked, remembering her original purpose for stopping her. The other three wouldn’t be interested and would only grumble the whole time. 

“Ooh yes! Please!” Lily was thrilled. 

“It’s a date!” 

ϟ

Sirius Black was lying on his back in their dorm room, trying to read his Transfiguration notes to practice some translation charm but he was failing. Miserably. Remus was out on patrol and once again Wormtail was off doing who knows what. He had just called it a night when James came running in, red in the face, cloak under his hands, and he stood right in front of his bed heaving. 

“I found him!” Prongs rasped. 

“Found who?” 

“The bloke who dared snog my Lilypad!”

“How?”

“I heard him ask Lily out to Hogsmeade this week!” James sounded too excited for someone who had found out that the love of his life had agreed to go on a date with another boy. 

“Wicked. What house is he in? Reckon we could slip in some pustule potions before breakfast that morning.” 

“Didn’t-get-a-look,” James put his hands on his knees still catching his breath. He grabbed some water from his side table. “I hid 'round a corner. But I heard them alright. They’re checking out some muggle shop on the first trip of the year,” he said. 

“You had one job Prongs!” 

“I have a better idea. All we have to do is follow them. Maybe carry that pustule potion anyway and slip it if they go into the pub,” James said. Sirius was satisfied with the plan. 

“Wait. How do you know it’s the same bloke?” Sirius asked. 

“You dare accuse my Lilypad of being an _easy_ woman! Do you really think she would just go off to Hogsmeade with another bloke, after having kissed someone else? She’s not you!” 

“Hey!” Sirius pretended to be offended. “I'm just saying. That kiss was last year. The other chap could have graduated for all we know.” 

James stilled. He hadn’t thought about it. This meant that Lily would potentially kiss two boys, none of which were him. 

Why yes. After much convincing from Sirius last year, James Potter had given in and snogged a few birds here and there- mostly at after-Quidditch parties which Evans never attended. He knew that he was more than a decent snogger. Figured he could use the practice to charm Evans pants off when the time came. He needed something to work with.

He failed to understand why she didn't give him the time of the day.

Would she ever look at him? 

Sirius noticed his best mate’s crestfallen look. “Don’t worry mate. When he blows that date, you’ll come sweeping in to save the day,” he said comfortingly. 

“By the way, did you hear Jones today?” Sirius asked. 

“No! I left right before during breakfast, remember? And then she didn’t even speak during the one class we had,” James was disappointed. “How did she sound?”

“Bloody Brilliant!” Sirius had that post-prank glimmer in his eye. 

“Reckon we should tell her, it only lasts for two days?”

“Nah. I like to make her sweat,” Sirius chuckled. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Votes and feedback always appreciated!
> 
> Also thank you to everyone who's left kudoses and feedback. I do read them and respond. I'm happy you all are liking it so far :)


	12. Never Grow Up

“Mister Black!” Minerva McGonagall scolded the young man. Kelsey looked over across the room to see the Professor’s pointy hat that now resembled a french beret. Safe to say, at least Transfiguration lessons with the Gryffindors were never boring. 

“You were meant to practice the spell as part of your homework! You are supposed to transfigure that book into a French translation not my hat into a beret!” she said. 

“My bad Minnie. Although if I may, it looks fetching. If you would like to know..” his eyes darted to Lily who was sitting next to Kelsey, and he gave her a sly grin. "..something came up, I didn’t get a chance to practice as intended last night." Next to him, Potter smacked his friend with a textbook while McGonagall continued with assigning him detention for calling her ‘Minnie’.

James looked at Lily and smiled an apology. Lily rolled her eyes with a small smile on her lips. 

Kelsey continued practicing the same spell, muttering is as softly as she could under her breath so that only those around her could hear. 

Yes, she still sounded like a boy. 

Luckily, Lily had cornered Potter and coaxed it out of him. The potion would wear off today, eventually, and her neck would be back to being slender - minus the Adam’s Apple. She couldn’t wait. 

Halfway through waving her wand to cast the spell, Kelsey paused.

“Say, Lils,” she nudged her friend. Lily didn’t look up from her spell and instead _Hmmm-ed_ her. “Isn’t ‘Minnie’ a little too close to ‘Mummy’?” she asked. 

“Sure,” her friend replied not looking at her. Kelsey didn’t think she had been heard. 

But the plan was already forming in her mind. 

“Mission ‘Payback for the Payback’ is in motion,” she whispered to no one in particular with determination in her eyes.

“Must you really recite your thoughts like that? This isn’t a James Bond movie!” said Lily. 

“Sure.” It was Kelsey’s turn to pretend to listen. She shot Sirius a sickly sweet smile as he lazily flicked his wand at the book in front of him. 

ϟ

“But you’re fine!” Astrid and Kelsey were back at it. Astrid was trying to convince Kelsey to not go through with her plans for the sake of her best friend’s peace of mind and overall safety. 

“Payback’s a bitch! Black said it himself. You heard it!” 

“You can’t be stooping to his level?” 

“It’s too late,” Kelsey crossed her arms. 

“It’s too evil,” Astrid mimicked the action. 

“Pfft! It’s harmless,” Kelsey waved off the concerns. 

“Teenagers don’t just come back from that! We saw it- In that teen rom-com movie, you made me see two summers ago! Even a Slytherin would take pity on what you’re about to do.”

“And yet, you love me.”

“Fine. Do whatever. I’m off to the library to study with Remus,” Astrid grabbed her bag.

It was before dinner. While Kelsey stayed back studying some Charms for her next prank and er- NEWTs as well, Astrid had plans to revise in the library like a proper student. 

“Traitor!”

“Excuse me?” 

“You’re hanging with _them_ now?” Kelsey accused. “And since when is it _Remus_?!”

“Since around the same time it’s been _Sirius_ ,” Astrid stood at the door daring her friend to make a snarky comment. 

“It was the one time!”

“Bye Jones,” her friend was out the door. 

ϟ

“Kelsey don’t,” Astrid pleaded one last time. 

“Oh so now you speak to me,” Kelsey said. She had only been mildly offended at Astrid yesterday. Her pure-hearted best-friend was a gem but she couldn’t help pulling her leg a little more. 

“Kelsey!”

“I bet you told him all about it on your library date didn't you?” Kelsey crossed her arms and looked away. Her wand was in her hand and she was staring intently at the back of Sirius’ head waiting for him to slip up. 

“You know I wouldn’t Kels. I need more help studying this stuff. And Rem- I mean Lupin was nice enough to offer it.”

Kelsey looked impressed at the information. Maybe they all weren’t that bad. He did seem to be the one person with some common sense. It was a shame that he was often sick. 

Sirius Black had been made to sit at the front where Minerva could keep an eye on him so that he didn’t transfigure anymore of the professor’s garments.

Ahead of Kelsey, he seemed to be gearing up to make a sarcastic remark about his skills when she saw him press his lips to say an _‘M’._

 _'Confuscious’_ she whispered under her breath earning an alarmed look from Lily.

Sirius closed his mouth, a little confused. 

“Did you just charm him to turn into a muggle Chinese Philosopher?!” the redhead demanded. 

“Shush," Kelsey hushed her waiting for him to speak up again. "It’s a special kind of _Confunding_ spell. The name is just erm- an unfortunate coincidence; also spelled differently.” She kept her eyes straight ahead waiting for Black to speak up again. 

Finally, Sirius caught the Professor’s eye and beckoned her over. With a heavy _I’m-so-done-with-this_ expression, Minerva McGonagall approached the student. 

“Say Professor, my dear Min-mi-mummy,” Sirius started but he stopped. 

There was pin-drop silence. 

“Oh no,” Lily and Astrid squeaked next to Kelsey.

“Oh yes,” Kelsey watched on delightfully. 

“Excuse me?!” To say the Professor looked shocked was an understatement. 

“Nothing. I said ‘Say Professor’ and then I stopped. I completely stopped talking!” He slapped a hand over his mouth. 

“Did he just say what I think he did?” A Hufflepuff behind Kelsey whispered. Her smile grew bigger. 

By now Minerva McGonagall was on the way to resembling a beetroot. A very stiff and displeased looking beetroot. 

“Detention! Mister Black! Until the end of this week!”

“But mummy- crap I mean minn-mummy. Fu-arghh” Sirius was unable to physically say the words Minnie. He took a deep breath. “But Professor! I didn’t say it! I swear! It wasn’t me. I meant to say your first name. The one that resembles the Muggle Mouse,” he pleaded to his horror.

McGonagall, with her cat animagus, looked even more offended. 

By now the class around them was rolling in laughter, tears streaming down a few, while Kelsey chortled.

“I will not hesitate to make it a month’s worth of detention Mister Black,” Professor McGonagall said sternly, a little red in the face. 

Remus turned to look at the girls behind them. He raised an eyebrow and Kelsey looked at him smugly.

Astrid hid her face in her hands beside her and he chuckled at her reaction. It was cute. 

ϟ

“I have to say Pads. That was a funny one,” Remus mused on the way to dinner with his mate that evening. 

“My life is over! I’ll forever be known as the _Mummy_ boy. Six years of charming and wooing my way destroyed in one afternoon!” he cried in dismay. Sirius Black was also nothing if not just as dramatic as Kelsey Jones.

“Stop being a drama queen. They’ll forget it by Friday.”

“Yes but the Professor who gave me detention until then won’t. I have to sit through the class until next June. It's mid-September Moony. Do the math!”

“Hey Black! Is it true you called McGonagall _Mummy_?” Snape called out to them. The boys stopped in their tracks to face the familiar Slytherins.

Sirius groaned.

“I mean I know you have family issues but it’s a bit much don’t you think?” Snape continued. Regulus gave him a disgusted look but didn’t say anything. 

“A bit pathetic don’t you think?” he sneered, directing the question at the younger brother.

Sirius had Snape up by the collar against the wall in no time. “Say one more word and I’ll give you Mummy and Daddy issues of all kinds Snivellus” Sirius gritted.

“Easy boys,” Kelsey called out. Sirius turned to look at her with just as much anger. It was all her fault after all. She faltered a little but approached them nevertheless.

“Pads,” Remus said next to him and Sirius let him go. 

“Off. The lot of you,” she said. 

Sirius shoved past her, bumping into her shoulder. 

“Sir- Black wait!” She called after him but he didn’t stop. 

“Yeah, run away Black! With your tail between your legs like a good boy!” The jeering continued. Sirius balled his fists and Remus did his best to drag him away, muttering him to not lose it out here. 

Sirius Black spent the rest of the evening brooding. At least until Remus came back from patrol later that night to tell him that he had seen Kelpie Jones hex the Snape and some other Slytherin kid with a _Wadiwasi_ spell under false pretenses during patrol. 

“Just because she’s pranking you back, doesn't mean she hates you,” Remus explained as if talking to a five-year-old. 

“Couldn’t care less,” Sirius tried to sound casual about it. 

“So you say,” Remus eyed him.

Sirius turned away and pulled the covers up to fall asleep. 

ϟ

Kelsey was pacing around the girls' Gryffindor dorm room a few days later with Mary and Marlene on their beds and Astrid on the floor reading her notes. 

“This will not do!” Kelsey declared. The effect of her recent prank was short-lived. Other than the Slytherin kid’s hateful comments (something she definitely didn’t want) the teasing had been mostly mild. No public jaunts or playful jests had followed. It seemed that Sirius was better at coming up with longer-lasting pranks while hers made but a splash. 

“No matter what I do, the pranks only make him more popular with the girls. I swear I heard a girl whisper to Black in the most sultry tone that if he had a mummy kink she’d go along with it!” Kelsey slammed her books on Mary’s bed. 

She shouldn’t have hexed that kid. Sirius seemed to be doing fine on his own. Not that he had even bothered to thank her. He was off snogging girls again. 

Here she was: boyfriendless and snogg-less. Not even a sneaky hand under the shirt for her. 

“Sounds like someone’s jealous,” Mary sang. 

“Puh-leease. If anything, I’m more determined than ever. You know that _Confuscious_ spell helped me earn me an Exceeds Expectations on this week’s Special Enchantments Unit in Charms?” Kelsey was proud. 

“What’s a kink?” Astrid asked innocently. 

“Oh sweet Merlin,” Mary giggled. 

“How have you shared a dorm with her for six years and remained so..pure?” Marlene was shocked. 

“My lovely Astrid,” Kelsey shook her head and sat down on the floor next to her best friend. They were lucky Lily wasn't present. “Since you asked, let Mama Jones teach you the ways of the world,” she said. 

She leaned over to Astrid and whispered so that only she could hear. “Next time you’re in the library I want you to...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope y’all are enjoying it! Votes/Comments always welcomed- it let's me know I’m doing a good job making you laugh (hopefully). 
> 
> Do you guys have a favourite ship so far?


	13. Innocent

It was late September also known as tryouts season. Against her will, Kelsey had been dragged to the Quidditch pitch to watch the Gryffindor tryouts on one fine Saturday evening. Lily had begged her to join and Kelsey had relented. She now regretted it, as she found herself sitting a few seats away from Dorcas Meadowes along with her other Gryffindor friends. 

At least she had her trusted friendly neighbourhood superhero to keep company. She pulled out a Spiderman comic from her bag and started reading it while the other three explained the intrinsic details of the game to Lily. 

Details such as how to catch a hunky player's eye when they came just close enough to during matches and how if you focused enough on their breeches, you could the outline of thei- It only took a minute for Lily's face to match her hair as Dorcas went on. 

Their idea of watching the tryouts mostly included fawning over the four well-built lads, on the team including James Potter, the captain and Sirius Black, the beater. Kelsey briefly glanced at the pitch to see a sixth-year kid, waiting in line to try-out, smile at her. Unsure what to think of that, she frowned and went back to her reading. 

Sirius saw this and nudged James who immediately perked up. They told potential Keepers and Chasers to wait for a few short moments and made their way over to the girls. The five girls were in no way the only ones out to see tryouts. There were quite a few more groupies consisting of a club of younger students. 

“Hello ladies,” drawled a smooth voice. Kelsey didn’t bother looking up from her comic. He was just a distraction. 

“Hey Sirius,” Mary, Marlene and Dorcas sang in unison. 

Lily looked at James standing with the broom in his hand, looking dapper in his uniform with his windswept hair. 

_ Wait, what?  _ With a comical look, Lily shook her head. 

“Come to see the tryouts have you?” Sirius inquired. He stood with his broom firmly grounded, and ran a hand through his hair, sweeping it back with an intention to mesmerise viewers. It almost worked.

“No shit Sherlock,” Kelsey said without looking up. 

Sirius pursed his lips in annoyance. In his seven years, Jones was one of the few people who withstood his charm. However, the few people usually included those already taken or with crushes. As far as he knew Jones had neither. Not that he paid that much attention to her. It still made him curious. The fact that perhaps it had to do with Sirius chasing after her to make her life living hell hadn't occurred to him yet. 

“I didn’t realise Hufflepuff was busy sending spies to scope out our moves. Then again with their miserable record, I guess times are tough,” James commented. 

“Hey! Hufflepuff can SO kick your butts!” Kelsey finally looked up at James. 

“You wish!” Unexpectedly, it was Lily who scoffed. 

Kelsey looked at her bewildered. 

“Evans, I didn’t realise you were into Quidditch,” Potter said hopefully. 

“I’m just trying to be a team player since this is our last year. Gryffindor spirit and such,” Lily  shrugged . 

Potter nodded slowly waiting for a stinging comment at the end of her sentence but it never came. 

Sirius took this moment to look at Jones. He saw her roll her eyes and turn her attention back to the book in her lap. She was really into the comic but all he wanted was the satisfaction of seeing her flustered or ticked off. 

Anything would do..if she only looked away from the darn Spiderman muggle book. Who even was Spiderman and what did he have that was more interesting than him?

“You know what Prongs?” Sirius said as they walked back to the pitch to finally start the tryouts.

“Yes, Padfoot?” James took one last look over his shoulder to see Evans watching him unexpectedly. He hadn’t expected to meet her green eyes in that small gesture. 

“I think it’s about time I mastered that book Transfiguration spell,” Sirius said really just talking to himself at this point. 

“Sure Pads. Whatever you say,” James said blankly. He resisted the urge to do something stupid and instead just smiled at her. She returned it.

ϟ

“What are you two up to?” Lily eyed the two boys suspiciously. James Potter and Sirius Black looked up from their notes. Several parchments lay sprawled on the table at the back of the library. They had a few Transfiguration books open, along with their own textbook reviewing the Language Translation Charm. 

“Studying Evans, what does it look like?” Potter replied disinterestedly. 

“Excuse me?” Lily was stumped. He replied so normally. As if he didn't spend a good time of his day vying for her attention. 

“This is a library, Evans. Prongsie here is helping me review for that spell Mi-” Sirius stopped and looked around. The coast was clear. “..that spell for Minnie’s class.”

“It’s just I didn’t think you knew where the Library was,” she held her books closer to her chest. Astrid and Remus walked up to her.

“This is the only empty table Lils,” Astrid announced looking at the one next to the two. 

They knew there was no chance Lily would share a table with James even if he pretended to be studying. Lily cursed her luck and sat down with her study group. Every now and then she would shoot furtive glances at Potter’s messy black hair leaned over the textbook. Not once did he look at her. Sirius was pretty deep in discussion with him. She furrowed her eyebrows. 

_ Did she actually crave his attention? _ Lily wondered. 

ϟ

“See! I told you it would work!” Sirius whispered animatedly. “She’s looking here. Don't look now- You’ll ruin it!” He hit James in the back of his head as he was about to look up. 

James grinned to himself and kept his head down. For a change, his Lilypad was the one giving him attention. 

“Nothing makes them notice you like ignoring them,” Sirius announced. 

James snorted. “It’s the same attention that’s kept Jones away from you all these years,” he mumbled softly.

“What now?” 

“Nothing,” James said innocently. “So what was this thing about some Transfiguration spell to change a book’s appearance?” 

Sirius grinned like a maniac. 

ϟ

Lily Evans was still busy squinting her eyes at Potter and Black every few minutes distractedly. Had he really changed? It did look like they were studying from the arm gestures and wand movements they appeared to be mimicking. 

“Hey, Remus?” Astrid asked suddenly stopping her quill. 

Lily switched her attention to her Muggle Studies notes. 

“Yes?” Remus smiled at her expectantly. Astrid’s heart fluttered and she felt the funnies in her stomach.  There was no doubting it anymore. She did have the most massive crush on Remus Lupin, the silent, mysterious marauder. 

“Has anyone ever called you  _ Daddy _ ?” 

If Bambi was human, blonde-haired Astrid Walker with her heavy curls and petite frame would be it. 

The quill in his hand snapped in half. 

“I’m s-sorry WHAT?!” he croaked. 

He was blushing by now. She stared back at him, lips parted, a little flustered at his lack of response and obvious shock.

_ Did she say something wrong? _

“Astrid that is highly inappropriate!” Lily scolded in a raised whisper. 

On the table next to them, James and Sirius fell to the floor in laughter, their reading forgotten. 

“What did I say? Kelsey told me to ask Remus. She said I’d be able to learn more about this thing called kinks. You know- like Sirius and his Mummy thing? But I still don’t get it. How would being called  _ Daddy _ have something to do with it?” she trailed off sweetly. 

Sirius straightened up, sobering a little at the rumour that he had a Mummy kink. That’s it he really needed to put his plan into action. And soon, he decided. 

Remus groaned and put his hand between his face. He didn’t dare show his face anymore. Astrid’s voice was sweet like honey and smooth like chocolate. Fucking chocolate. 

He was trying to form words but he choked on air. He got up stammering grabbing his bag and discreetly arranging it in front of him. 

“I-I-er have to go. See you around Walker,” he managed to stammer under his breath. Astrid’s face fell. Never in all these years had he called her by her surname. 

Remus stormed out of the library with his bag slung on his left shoulder and the book he had checked out, in front of his crotch hiding a very unfortunate development. He prayed the girls hadn’t noticed. 

He knew that his friends knew better.  The boys were never going to let him live this down. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: RIP my soul. I’m so headed straight down in the afterlife. 
> 
> This wasn't even in my original plan, but sometimes the story takes you where it needs to be. Although it is still key to the plot so it wasn't a filler. 
> 
> Anywho I hope you laughed as much as I did writing this. Votes/Comments appreciated!!


	14. It's Nice to Have a Friend

“YOU ARE EVIL!”

Astrid stood at the entrance of the Hufflepuff common room. Kelsey and a few others looked up at her. Her blonde curls stuck to her face, from sweat it looked. Had she run all the way here from the library?

“I can’t believe you threw me to the wolves like that!” 

It was unfortunate that neither of them knew the truth behind that metaphor. 

Kelsey closed her book shut and calmly turned to face her best friend. “What do you mean?”

“I asked him if he liked being called _Daddy_!” she shrieked hysterically earning some scared looks from students around her. A smile made itself to Kelsey’s face and soon she too was doubled over in laughter at the unfortunate expense of her best friend. 

Astrid looked mortified. After Remus had all but run away from her, Lily had kindly dragged her into an empty classroom and explained the dubious meaning behind it. She had never wanted to commit murder until that moment. 

“I told you to call him _Daddy_ , not to ask him his thoughts on it! You ruined it!” Kelsey clutched her stomach and calmed down. 

“Can you imagine how much worse that would have been? You lied!”

“I was trying to help you! You like him, don’t you?”

“Why would you do that?”

“It’s the silent and mysterious ones that are always the kinkiest. It was a calculated risk,” Kelsey explained easily as if she had thought this through. 

“I hate you!”

“You won’t find a more loyal friend than me,” she scoffed. 

“You know what Kelsey? Screw that. And screw this- Argh! This Hufflepuff doesn’t give a Hufflefuck..” collective gasps went around the room. “..about you anymore!”

Astrid stormed off to their dorm angrily. Kelsey’s smile faltered as she watched her friend disappear up the stairs. 

“Fuck,” she said.

ϟ

“Kelpie! Kelpie! Yoohoo!”

Kelsey didn’t stop. She walked out of the Great Hall upset. 

“Oi, Jones!”

She let out an annoyed shriek, “WHAT? BLACK?” 

He stopped a few feet away from her and looked at her eyes wide, a little wary. 

“Where’s Astrid?” He approached her carefully. Clearly, she was in a mood.

Without being too obvious, he quickly peeked at her bag that was open. Perfect. He could see a thin book sitting a little close to the outside. He just needed to get close to her. 

“I don’t know and I don't care!” she huffed turning away. 

Truth is she did know. Astrid was currently sitting with Mary at the Gryffindor table, ignoring her through lunch. The more Kelsey was ignored, the guiltier she felt. She needed to make things right. But she hadn’t figured out how. 

“I hope she isn’t off finding a new _Daddy_ ,” he mocked. In an instant, Kelsey had her wand under his chin. Her 5’5 frame had him pushed against the wall.

“Only I can tease her,” Kelsey gritted. 

“Although, looks like she’s not the only kinky one,” Sirius said hoarsely as the tip of her wand jabbed his chin. 

“What do you want?” She let him go. 

She started walking and Sirius followed. 

“Word around town is..and by word I mean Evans. You put the little idea in your friend’s pretty little blonde head..” he trailed off. 

Kelsey gulped. Sirius watched her gulp quietly, sadness in her eyes, a few tears threatening to fall. 

Near one of the clock tower courtyards, she sat down against the pillar. He followed suit. 

“You with your _Daddy_ fetish. Apparently, me with my _Mummy_. We make quite the pair Jones,” he joked trying to lighten it up. 

“Indeed we do,” she chuckled. She brought an arm up and used her robes to dab the corner of her eye. 

Sirius leaned back as she stared ahead wistfully. He reached an arm behind her, trying to pluck the comic book out before she could notice. 

“I messed up,” she said softly. 

“So it seems,” he leaned over slightly to pat her. Lost in thought she didn’t think twice about this weird move. Slowly and carefully he grabbed it and brought his hand back into his robes, shoving the comic flat against himself. Good thing it wasn’t bulky. 

If it makes you feel any better..” he started saying but stopped, wondering how to tell her that.”..last year, Moony- I mean Remus and I had the worst falling out. And what I did was much worse than this.” He was tactful in how he put it. “It wasn’t my best moment.” 

He wasn’t about to shout ‘I almost had Moony kill Snivellus’ at the top of his lungs. 

“Yeah, I remember, I think. I always meant to ask- what could you have done that was so bad?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know Jones?” he grinned. “This bad boy is full of surprises,” he pointed to himself. 

He saw her face light up and she snorted doubling over in laughter. His heart thumped against his chest loudly and for a moment he thought something was wrong with him. He was too young to have a heart attack. Too fit. He still had too many birds to snog. He hadn’t even reached his full potential yet!

However, he realised- watching her grin with genuine cheeriness gave him an ego boost unlike any other before. Knowing that just ten minutes ago, she had been sulking over Astrid. 

Sure he had a line of girls waiting to snog him. He was certain that he could stroll down the corridor that moment and pick a fifth-year and up, and she would 90% snog him. However, something about watching Jones giggle had him returning the same shit-eating grin. Between laughs, her blue eyes met his stormy grey ones and he saw something like surprise flicker in them. 

_She does NOT have nice eyes!_ Sirius insisted to himself. 

Feeling off, he got up in haste, almost letting his painstakingly acquired prize fall. 

Kelsey had been surprised. In her despair, it seemed that Sirius Black had made her feel a bit better. So when he ran off, she stared at his retreating form confused. 

_Weird bloke_ , she shrugged a few moments later. 

ϟ

“Remus!” Kelsey skipped along the corridor.

Remus Lupin turned to see Kelsey skipping over to him. He picked up the pace. Well, as much as he could. 

“Remus! Stop!” 

Maybe he could pretend he didn’t hear her. 

“Lupin!” She caught up to him and grabbed his sleeve. He turned. 

“The fu-” Kelsey took in his appearance. There were bags under his eyes and looked as if he hadn't slept in a while. This wasn’t the first time she had seen him looking like this. Astrid and Lily told her that he was a little on the sicker side, so she never asked much about it in the last six years. But seeing him up close like this, she wondered if Astrid or Lily knew what was really up with him. 

“What happened to you?” she demanded.

The boy sighed. “It’s nothing,” he said avoiding eye contact. 

“Is that..” Kelsey reached out a hand and he flinched. “Is that dried blood?” Her finger wiped a small spot under his chin. 

“I was on my way to see Madame Pomfrey,” he explained. 

“Great then I’ll accompany you,” she started walking next to him.

“You don’t have to. I’m fine.”

Kelsey rolled her eyes. “It’s not for you. It’s for Astrid. She’d probably kill me if she found out I let you walk away looking so tired and injured all by your lonesome.” At Astrid’s name, Remus stiffened a bit. “Where’s your posse anyway?”

“My what?”

“Your posse? You know, the ‘tools who fool’? The boy band? Your motley crew,” She managed to draw a low throaty laugh from him. 

“Kitchens,” he mumbled. It was the truth. James and Peter were currently coaxing a house-elf into making a hot chocolate for him. 

Sirius was supposedly off snogging some sixth year in the Astronomy tower. Something about feeling off and needing to get back into the bad boy ways, Padfoot had said. 

“Some friends.” She pursed her lips. “Bringing me to my point,” she stopped in her tracks. 

“Please don’t be mad at Astrid,” Kelsey pleaded. Remus could see that she was really upset about it. “I’m the one who tricked her-”

“I figured,” Remus sighed. He wasn’t angry or upset with Astrid. 

“She’s really innocent. I mean so _sooo_ innocent,” Kelsey said dramatically. 

“Figured that too,” he chuckled softly. He wasn't upset with Astrid. He was upset about his reaction. The way she had looked at him asking that question, asking him that so innocently, had awoken something in him. Something he thought would be best if forgotten. He couldn’t involve Astrid in his Lycanthropy.

“Although not anymore though I bet, given Lily’s sex talk,” Kelsey continued rambling. 

Another laugh. Remus had to admit Astrid was one of his closest friends though. And he did not want to cut her off. He had his moments of selfishness.

Kelsey was on a roll. She fist-bumped the air cheering his response. She knew they would be back to talking. Her back-up plan had been to threaten him within an inch of his life. Now she only had to figure out how to apologise to Astrid without making a fool of herself. 

They approached the Hospital Wing entrance. 

“Oi you two!” 

They saw Sirius Black waiting outside the Hospital Wing for Remus.

What Sirius Black saw was Kelpie Jones, sworn enemy of the Marauders (although James, Remus and Peter would insist, it’s more of a ‘sworn enemy of Sirius Black’ situation) sharing stolen smiles as if they had a secret.

He saw the same twinkle in her eye as they came closer. 

As if to reiterate his presence he coughed loudly. One that would almost shame Dolores Umbridge in the future. But he didn’t know that. He didn’t even know who the old coot was yet. 

She kept an eye on Sirius through her peripheral vision. His hair was disheveled and tie loosened up. She reckoned he had just come back from a snog. 

“Typical,” she scowled. 

Ignoring him, she decided that she had done her part ensuring safe passage for the boy. 

“Bye Lupin!” she teased with a wink and strutted off. Sirius Black felt a pit in the bottom of his stomach. 

“What was that about?” he eyed Remus suspiciously. 

“Astrid,” he scratched the back looking sheepish. 

_‘Didn’t sound like Astrid business to me’_ he heard Sirius complain. 

With a tired smile, Remus pushed the door open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'Nother day- 'nother Doug- Whoops I meant chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Vote/Comment if you liked!


	15. You Need To Calm Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2500 words of goodness on Sirius' Birthday today!

Kelsey was dying. Metaphorically that is. It was the first week of October and she was drowning in assignments. In fact, most seventh years were busy reviewing six years' worth of notes.

Turns out, Professors didn't believe that free time was a luxury meant for those in their last year. Which is how between successfully making amends with Astrid and keeping up with all her classes, she forgot one tiny detail; the danger of a Sirius Black unchecked.

He wasn't anything if not petty and creative with pranks. He had six years of practice with his comrades in mischief. And petty he was. With most students busy writing essays, he masterfully managed to get by with his thanks to help from Remus. This gave him ample time to figure out how to go about actually executing the last part of his plan now that he had Jones' dodgy-looking muggle item.

Unfortunately, it was also the reason he was distracted during Quidditch practice that evening. While Kelsey was tucked away in the Hufflepuff common room furiously quilling an essay on 'Key Historical Events that shaped the Muggle-Wizard dynamics', Sirius barely missed getting hit by a bludger.

"Oi, watch it!"

Sirius swerved out of the way just in time. The bludger whizzed past his ear and he winced at the closeness.

"Okay, that's it! Time out," James yelled. The other members of their team groaned and flew down to the pitch. James hovered over to his friend and snatched the bat from his hands.

"Sirius you twat!" James cursed him between hits to his arm.

"What's gotten into you? You're never distracted during practice," the team captain demanded.

Sirius gave him a guilty look. "Stuff," he mumbled.

"Padfoot. I love you mate and I mean this in the nicest way: but you need to figure out your issues with this 'stuff' off the pitch. Hopefully, before _she_ doesn't cost us our very first match of the season," James glared at him, crossing his arms. 

"I have no idea what you mean," Sirius replied with an unreadable expression, pretending to rub dirt off his nails mid-air.

James made an exasperated sound. "Just look where you're flying, would you? I don't need you bumping off my Chasers before the season even starts. And hit a bludger while you're at it. We're not losing our first match against Ravenclaw," he declared sternly.

"A Beater who gets hit by a Bludger himself," James grumbled. "The shame!"

Sirius rolled his eyes. His best-friend was nothing if not dramatic.

ϟ

Good morning class," Professor Dustings, their DADA teacher for the year walked in, looking fresh as ever. It was Tuesday morning and she had the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff session.

"Morning Professor," the students chanted back.

She looked over the class. Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors didn't separate themselves by house. Unfortunately, it caused more chaos and headache for the Professor than it should.

"With the _Unforgivables_ out of the way, we're moving on to the next unit. For the next two weeks, we shall be learning the Patronus Charm," she announced.

Sounds of Oohs and Aahs passed through the class.

"Isn't that a charm?" one Hufflepuff commented trying to sound witty.

"A charm that protects us from Dementors, you idiot. You know Defense against those Dark beings," Kelsey shot back interrupting class even further.

The whole class broke out into arguments over the debate of which class the charm belonged in. The Professor sighed. She liked the Ravenclaw-Slytherin sessions much better. They just did their work quietly.

"Class!" The Professor called out and they settled down once again.

With one last warning look, she proceeded to explain the charm theory, spell and instructions.

"Now initially you might produce a small shield-like Patronus, but with more practise, you will be able to produce a Corporeal form eventually. Of course, it also depends on the strength of the memory you use so be sure to pick one that has a lot of meaning."

All students took a few moments to think it over.

"With that in mind - there's no time like the present to start. So pair up everybody. Up and off!" Professor Dustings flicked her wand as the students got up. The desks and chairs were pushed to one end of the classroom.

"Hey As-" Kelsey turned to her right, expecting Astrid to be there. Instead, she saw Sirius Black standing there looking unusually mellow.

"Walker, darlin'. You wouldn't mind switching for the class would you?" Black asked. He had strutted over with utmost haste, her comic was tucked away in his bag that he brought over with him.

Astrid gave her best friend an unsure look.

 _'Don't you dare Astrid. Betrayal of the highest kind'_ was what Kelsey's silent glare was telling her.

Sensing Astrid's reluctance, Sirius stepped up his play a bit.

"Moony- my mate's looking a little lonely there, don't you think?" He smirked at Astrid, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Astrid blushed and walked over to where Remus was. Kelsey scoffed and crossed her arms in annoyance. So much for _Bros before Hoes_.

"Miss me Jones?" he said confidently.

"What did you do? " She cut him off sharply, now on high alert. Why did he want to pair up with her? What was his game?

"I just wanted to see how my favourite Water Spirit was doing. Drown any unsuspecting victims in the Lake lately?" He touched a hand over his heart.

"Not yet. But I can think of a few," she eyed him pulling out her wand. "Let's just finish this shall we?"

They faced each other. Kelsey decided to go first and drew out her wand. She mulled over a few memories, thinking over what stuck with her; the ones that flickered a sense of warmth in her. A few crossed her mind: Her parents seeing her off on her first day; celebrating her seventeenth birthday over the summer with Astrid, Lily and her parents; her Hogsmeade date with Benjamin..

A thin wispy silver light came out. The Hogsmeade date subconsciously diverted her thoughts to the dark-haired boy in front of her.

_Watching Black's face scrunch up in anger at his unnaturally coloured hair.._

"Expecto Patronum," she said again and swished her wand. The light was a little stronger this time.

She stared into his grey eyes, shining brightly. He was grinning at her as if he was up to something. But his smile made her a little nervous. She felt a blush creeping up her neck.

_The warmth that spread through her when she had her first kiss.._

Her eyes widened in surprise as the shield was a lot more pronounced and knocked Sirius back a little. He hit the floor and his head a little harder. The sudden force had caught him off guard.

 _No way_ , she thought. That had to have been a fluke.

"Bloody hell Jones. That must have been something of a memory," he rubbed the back of his head as he got back up. "Care to share?"

"It's your turn." She took a few steps back to make space for him in case he knocked her down.

"Come ooon," he whined. "I saw you get all red. Was it our very special kiss two years ago?" he hummed playing with the wand in his hand.

She let out a frustrated noise. "If you must know yes it was about a kiss. On my date. With Benji. You know- tall, blonde, looks like he stepped out of a movie-"

Sirius pursed his lips. "Yes, yes. I get it. Perfect Prefect Benji," he said suddenly miffed. His annoyance didn't let him pull together even a thin wisp of a shield. He tried to think of memories powerful enough with his mates but his mind kept going back to his family, Regulus, and the irresponsibly dangerous prank he had played on Snivellus last year.

Of course, Jones managed to get hers out of the way. He had been a witness to that kiss between Jones and Macdonald himself in Hogsmeade. The more he thought about it the more frustrated he became with the lack of his own ability to produce a Patronus. He furiously swished his wand in the air.

He looked around the classroom to see Remus casting his, with Astrid looking on in awe as they shared a smile.

"Watch it Black! You'll take someone's eye out!" In front of him, Jones glared. He merely grunted in response.

By the end of the lesson, only half the students including Lily and Potter had managed to produce a sliver of the charm. Sirius still struggled. None that he could think of were powerful enough.

The students gathered their belongings. Kelsey walked over to her friends to ask them about their memories. As she approached Lily, she saw that the redhead was still talking to Potter. Keyword, talking- not biting his head off.

She remembered Lily's words from a few days ago. _'He seems to be a bit more tolerable this year. And they haven't really bothered us that much.'_ Kelsey hadn't missed the way her eyes had swept over Potter during Quidditch tryouts either. Perhaps her friend did have a thing for jocks.

"What was that about?" Kelsey questioned as Potter walked back to his friends. Lily smiled and was about to say something when Kelsey saw her eyes widen to the shape of saucers as she witnessed something behind her.

"PADFOOT NO!" was all Kelsey heard before a body came crashing into her.

"Black!" she groaned on the floor. Was this really his best payback? Her bag had fallen, a few of the contents spilling on the floor.

"My bad," he said, not sounding sorry at all. He got up without even bothering to offer her a hand up.

 _And they say chivalry is dead_ , Kelsey thought bitterly. She took a few moments to come to terms with the pain in her butt from falling down before sitting up a bit better to gather her books.

She reached a hand to grab one of the books that was sprawled open when she stopped. Wait, that didn't belong to her. How did it fall from her bag?

Astonished at the sight, in front of her she gawked at the magazine that lay before her.

"Miss Jones are you alrigh- what in the name of Good Godric?!" Professor Dustings who had shuffled over to help her up also stood staring in shock.

Kelsey sat up straighter, not believing the sight in front of her as students passed by, shooting her disturbed looks. Next to her, she heard Sirius Black clicking his tongue loudly drawing even more attention. He bent down and picked up the _PlayWitch_ and opened it to a random page _._

"10 Tricks to Get Him Hot and Bothered," he read with a straight face. "Blimey Kelsey didn't know they delivered these to Hogwarts." He held the magazine up to his face to hide the unmistakable smile that donned his face.

"Miss Jones!"

"It's - it's not mine! I swear!" She got up and went to try and snatch it out from his hands.

"Number 1: For a more sultry approach, lazily drag your hand up his thigh subtly in a public place. A sign of what's to come; leave him wanting more." Sirius continued reading.

"Mister Black, please stop!"

Behind Black, Potter and Pettigrew were laughing without remorse at the hilarity. Lupin stood stuffing a fist in his mouth to stop himself from laughing too hard. He was supposed to be the sensible one after all.

"Profesor! He did this! I swear!" Kelsey jumped on Sirius but he turned just in time. So she did the next best thing. She leaped onto his back.

"Detention! Miss Jones! You may report to Mr Filch this evening," The Professor, now red in the face magically summoned the book away from Sirius' hand. The magazine flew a few feet into her hands. The explicit contents moving as the witches did some not so PG-13 poses. She left the classroom with the few remaining students still in shock.

By now Lily and Astrid rushed over to Kelsey, trying to pry her off the Black family heir as he too tried to swat her away like a fly.

"You're barmy Jones!" He turned around, twirling Jones with him on piggyback. Kelsey let out a frustrated grunt and kept at it.

"Kelsey! You're a Prefect!" Lily hissed trying to stop Sirius.

"For the love of Merlin, Jones! You need to calm down! Look at her- she's mental!" he exclaimed as she tried to put him in a weak choke-hold.

"Potter! Remus! Some help?" Lily shot daggers at them. 

Potter was the first to rush over. Kelsey was in the middle of kicking Black while still on his back. As the two Heads tried to untangle their friends, Kelsey accidentally kicked Potter roughly sending him crashing into Lily. He caught her just in time, turning them over so that he landed under her, softening her blow.

Kelsey shrieked guilty and immediately got off of Black.

"Crap! Lily are you alright?" she shrieked.

Lily Evans was on top of James Potter, her knees between his legs, hands flat on the ground holding herself up. Her long red hair fell over her face, hiding her expression. Meanwhile, Potter's hands were on her waist holding her steady.

"Hey," he breathed.

"H-hey," Lily managed to stutter. She could feel warmth flooding her cheeks the moment she noticed the cosy placement of his hands on her body. She knew she should move them, or make a snarky comment. But she couldn't form a thought.

"All good there, Evans?" he looked up into her green eyes. Lily Evans had never been so close to James Potter. She wasn't prepared for the whirlwind of butterflies she felt swoop through her as he stared at her with a worried expression.

"Huh?" Lily sounded dazed. Potter chuckled softly.

"Do you mind?" he asked nicely. Lily, scurried to get up in a rush. In her nervousness, she accidentally kneed him in the crotch when she moved.

"Evans!" Potter groaned, doubling over in pain and holding onto his nethers.

"Sorry," she squawked, rushing back to check on him.

Sirius was about to go help his friend up when Remus stopped him. "Let him be. We'll be hearing about this later probably for a few days," he whispered quietly.

"I always knew Prongs was a bottom," Sirius snickered. Kelsey shot him a disdainful look suddenly remembering his horrid prank.

"Let's go. We have class," Astrid was dragging her away before Kelsey could make another move to embarrass herself. Surprisingly Kelsey came along with any resistance. Head held high, nose up in the air, she walked past Sirius Black without another glance. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hope you enjoyed!! Please do vote/comment if you did :3 
> 
> What do you think so far? Next chapter up on Friday.


	16. Breathless

"There was a book."

"A book?"

"More like a magazine, really."

"Oh?"

"It had dirty pictures.."

"Wicked!"

"..of naked witches."

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Well, continue!"

"Word around school is that Kinky Kelpie can procure these magazines if you ask. For a price of course-"

"Ahem." The shrill sound of a throat being cleared a few feet behind stopped the Hufflepuffs in their tracks.

Kelsey Jones stood in the middle of the corridor, hands on her hips, glaring at the two sixth-year boys. She could already feel a headache coming on and she still had detention to get through.

Upon the realisation of Kinky Kelpie overhearing them with a grossly displeased expression, the boys soon lost their intrigue over the school's latest gossip.

Without wasting time, Kelsey got to the point.

"Who?" She held one of the smaller boys up by the collar. The one word was enough to convey everything she wanted to know. The boy didn't hesitate to reveal anything he knew.

"I'm so sorry! We overheard Black and Pettigrew whispering about it in the library earlier today! Please don't kill me!" The boy cowered and held up his hand to shield his face. With a huff she let go, dropping him.

She didn't know why she had even bothered asking. Of course, it was them. Or rather _him_. The rest of her day had gone by quickly. But not without the rumours just like this one. However, this was the most creative one she had heard all day no thanks to the prat himself.

Pressing her lips into a thin line she thought about her next course of action as she walked back to the Common Room to get ready for detention. It had only been a few hours and the rumours were running wild. Not to mention her new nickname.

"Kinky Kelpie!" Kelsey cried, storming into the Common Room. Astrid, who usually held a better sense of decorum, snorted over her essay. "It's not funny!"

"It is!" Astrid said.

"Arrgghh!" Kelsey stomped over and threw herself on the armchair handle next to her.

"Although, do you really want to walk around shouting _that_? People might get ideas that you like being called so.." her friend trailed off teasingly.

Kelsey frowned. It looks like Remus Lupin's wittiness was rubbing off on her best friend.

"Although you know what they say.." Astrid dipped her quill in the ink bottle. "The best revenge is to not let them know, they got to you," she quietly went back to working on her essay.

Thinking it over, Kelsey had to agree enthusiastically. Sirius Black did thrive on chaos and the attention it brought him. What better way than to deprive him of the same?

"Astrid you brilliant bitch!" Kelsey rushed out of the common room again for detention with Filch.

She knew he made the latecomers stay back an hour extra.

"I'm sure you meant that lovingly?!" Astrid called but her friend was gone.

ϟ

_"Disgrace to the name of wizards.."_

Kelsey leaned back in her chair, staring at the ceiling.

_"School has gone to the dogs.."_

Could he get started already?

_"If only I wasn't a Squib..oh dear me..the ways I could torture them.."_ Filch continued muttering.

The two other students in Detention with her, let out a successive chain of yawns. They were just as impatient about getting this started.

The grandfather clock in Filch's office read 8.05 when the door burst open dramatically. Much like the latecomer himself.

"Sorry 'bout that," the boy strutted into the room.

"Finally..disrespectful students," Filch grunted and got up, beckoning the other three students over.

"You two. Owlery. Scrub it clean. No wands," he pointed at the students who had been waiting with Kelsey until now.

"And you two.." Filch gave a toothy grin. Kelsey realised that she liked his scowl better. _Was that tooth rotting?_ She wondered, her gaze transfixed on Filch's left incisor.

"..Potions class. Same thing. I'll stop by for a surprise check-in," he waved his hand to dismiss them. "It better be spotless," Kelsey heard him declare. But she was already halfway out the door without even bothering to wait for her partner in crime.

_This couldn't get any better_ , she thought darkly. Her face was in a fixed scowl as she marched her way to the Potions room. Still, it was also never too soon to implement Astrid's idea.

"Yoohoo Joones," the boy waved a hand in front of her face. She ignored him the entire way. It was his fault she was here in the first place.

"Ooh," the person caught up to her and started matching her strides. "Someone's had a ruff day," he barked, laughing at his own joke.

Kelsey almost gave in. What was it with those boys and their weird animal puns?

"Hear any interesting rumours lately?" he pried innocently, hands clasped behind his back. Kelsey stopped in her tracks and so did he.

She took a deep breath to calm herself and looked at him. She would not give in. _Make him suffer_ , her brain told her.

An annoying gnaw came upon her stomach as her blue eyes met Sirius Black's grey. That flicker of mischief in his only strengthened her resolve. She kept her best blank expression to show him that she couldn't care less, while she was bursting to do something - anything - on the inside.

A small group of Slytherins passed them by on the way to their Common Room. Kelsey walked on to the Potions classroom before they could say anything to either of them. Tying her hair back, she walked over to the bucket of water that had been placed by the entrance. She dropped to her knees, grabbed a sponge, dipped it into the soapy water and got to work.

The quicker she started, the faster she'd be out of here. Away from him.

"Going to ignore me are you, then?" he asked.

"Fine," he quipped and tugged up the sleeves of his own shirt.

While on any given day, Sirius wouldn't have hesitated to use magic despite Filch's instructions, he put his hands to work. After he had noticed Jones' initial anger die down, she had been ominously calm about the whole affair for the rest of the day. It had irked Sirius, although he refused to admit it during dinner when a few hours ago.

The classroom was filled with sounds of wooden brushes scraping against the floor. Sirius Black was never one to stay silent for too long. He also realised that a quiet Kelpie was more dangerous than one who was actively mad at him. 

He just wanted her attention. Just so he could annoy her more of course.

"Why am I here you ask?" Sirius started talking to himself when she didn't respond. "Why Kelpie, my love, you see I was minding my own business in the library.."

Kelsey couldn't help the snort that escaped her. Sirius paused for a second, acknowledging her acknowledgment of him finally. A pleased smirk donned his face.

"..when Madam Pince hunted me down and handed me detention for discussing lewd topics near the 'sanctity of her books'," he air quoted the last part. She continued scrubbing the Potions classroom floor wordlessly.

That's it! He couldn't take it anymore. He got up and threw the brush into the bucket. It splashed water out, drenching the bottoms of his uniform.

"Will you just look at me!" He demanded coming to a standstill right behind her.

Kelsey could sense him there, but she kept on her task.

Sirius was at a loss. He opened his mouth a few times to say something but stopped before uttering a word.

Finally thinking it over, "Kelsey!" he said. Her name sounded foreign on his lips. At the same time, he bent and reached out his arm to stop her in his frustration.

Kelsey let out a small yelp at the sudden contact and the sound of her name from his mouth for the very first time. In her shock, she sent the pail tumbling. 

_'A Series of Unfortunate Events'_ Kelsey decided that's what she would name her autobiography, as she saw the soapy water-filled pail spill and Sirius Black simultaneously fall on her.

In a matter of moments, they found themselves re-enacting the Potter-Evans scene from earlier that day. With her blouse half drenched and detesting the feeling of it sticking to her skin, her resolve broke.

"I'm going to kill you!" she yelled.

"There she is!" he grinned up at her.

So much for her resolution to ignore him. It was a good 55 minutes while it lasted.

Sirius took in the scene above him and he found that he couldn't turn his gaze away from the water-soaked blouse. His eyes travelled north to the suds on her slender neck and he gulped. The water was dripping on to his own clothes but all he could focus on was the smell of soapy-water and her wet skin.

He was really close to her. The last time, he realised, the last time he had been this close to her was when they had kissed. No, wait. It had been when she had tried to shove him into the snow in Hogsmeade for interrupting her and Macdonald. Then too, she had ended up on top of him.

"Uh Black.." Kelsey suddenly sounded horrified. 

"Yeah?" Sirius breathed. Why was he out of breath suddenly?

"Please tell me that's your wand."

"I - uh," Sirius gulped trying to rationalise his reaction. She raised an eyebrow. "Of course it's my wand!" Just as quickly, he shoved her off and she fell back with a thud.

Kelsey cursed under her breath, face a little pink, wondering what to do with this newly learned information.

"You know.." a sudden change in demeanour overcame her. She got up and swayed back over to stand in front of him. "..I heard you were looking for someone to pop that V-Card. Clearly, you seem to want something here.." she slowly grabbed his tie.

Sirius watched on in fascination. Her tone was eliciting responses from him, he very much disliked. No that was a lie. Responses had been elicited moments before- as soon as he had her in his arms he realised...realised that he didn't mind it.

Kelsey could only hope she only sounded how she hoped. "..I could pop that cherry.." she whispered sultrily. It was a bald-faced lie. Not only was she inexperienced in bed but also in the matter of boys. Well other than Sirius Black of course. She was just going along with his new plan in the moment, just as shocked at her own confidence. 

She knew it had worked when she heard a sharp intake on his part. He stared back at her, lips open in surprise, looking hazy. She grinned smugly and all of a sudden his trance broke. He pulled away.

Kelsey was left giggling in the Potions classroom all alone, as she watched his robes disappear out the door.

Astrid's plan be damned. Turns out she had a better one. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Vote/Comment if you liked it! I do enjoy reading your comments. Teehee.


	17. Treacherous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I just wanted to thank Ely, OliviaJ, Bri_h and mimi_hime for their lovely comments!

_“You know..” she whispered, softly, her hands toying with his Gryffindor tie. Sirius gulped at their closeness. Since when did he get breathless by her mere presence? “..I could pop your cherry..” She pulled him by the tie. Her mouth was next to his ear and he fought the urge to lean in. This was Kelpie Jones for the love of Godric! He wondered if she could feel his thumping heartbeat. “..it’s only fair since you stole my first kiss..”_

_“Okay,” Sirius didn’t recognize his own voice. It was raspy and riddled with craving. A small part of him realised that he had perhaps been waiting for this moment since winter almost two years ago. A craving to taste her lips again. Their eyes met and he saw her smirk. Determined, she pulled him even closer and slipped out a tongue to wet her lips. Sirius mimicked the action subconsciously._

_She closed her eyes and brought her lips within inches of his. He brought a hand up, brushing a strand of hair from her face, and cupped it. He tilted his head forwar-_

“Padfoot!” a voice hissed. Suddenly, Sirius Black felt something hard hit the back of his head and he jerked up. His eyes shot open. He was sitting on the grass next to Moony who held the Monster Book of Monsters Volume 4 in his hand. Probably what he had hit him with based on his pain. 

Remus silently signaled him to pay attention to Professor Kettleburn who was sending them displeased looks from a distance. Catching the young student’s eye, the Professor let out a huff and continued lecturing. 

“What was that about?” Moony whispered when the Professor was no longer paying attention to them. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean why were you making kissy faces in the air.” Sirius was happy that he wasn’t someone who blushed easily. “It was disturbing, really.”

“I was not!” Sirius shot back, returning his attention to the class.

“With our review of Ghouls out of the way. We shall now do a quick session on Kelpies..” The Professor animatedly pointed to the Black Lake behind him.

Sirius groaned. Great just what he needed. More reminders of her. 

As if remembering that Jones too was in the class as well, he looked around to see her sitting a few feet ahead of him next to Marlene and Astrid with her back to him. She leaned over to whisper something to Marlene who giggled, bringing a hand up to her face to muffle the sound. The two of them looked to the right to see Frank and Alice inconspicuously holding hands where they sat. 

While the professor went on about Kelpies, Sirius found his gaze falling on the namesake’s back. 

_‘My spidey senses are tingling_ ,’ Kelsey thought. Feeling the hair on the back of her neck rise, she slowly swiveled to see Sirius Black staring at her vacantly. When she caught his eye, he wagged his eyebrows and then at the Lake ahead of them mouthing _'Missing home'?_. 

She flipped him off and stuck her tongue out at him much like she had on their first day at Hogwarts, and turned back. His gaze remained transfixed on her tongue. The same tongue that he had seen wet her lips a few minutes ago in his dream. 

That was the first time since their detention that he had acknowledged her presence. 

Remus let out a heavy sigh next to him. 

“What now?” Sirius asked annoyed. He knew that the werewolf probably had something to comment. He had been vocal about how Sirius had been avoiding her for a few days now. 

“Nothing,” his friend smiled secretively as if he knew something. 

ϟ

“Potter.”

Prongs jumped at the sudden intrusion into the Marauders' early morning breakfast that Friday. 

“Evans,” he welcomed her, his lips quirking a little to the right. If Sirius didn’t know any better, he would have thought he saw Evans hold back a smile herself. 

“Tonight at 8,” Evans said crisply. 

“What?” Their mate looked confused. 

“The patrol reports Potter. Weren’t you listening?” she sounded annoyed. 

“Can’t we just do it tomorrow morning?” Prongs protested. 

“No. I’ll be in Hogsmeade,” she stated. 

“Right,” he muttered to himself, a dark look passing over him. 

“Sorry, did you say something?” she asked.

“N-nothing Lilypad,” he fumbled a bit. “I just said Right! See you there. At 8 that is. Library?” he rambled on. 

Lily Evans had to bite her lip to painfully keep herself from smiling. Potter looked sort of hilarious when he was stammering. Before he could embarrass himself further, she walked away. Wormtail offered him a sympathetic smile. 

“Err- so talking about Hogsmeade, are we still on for tomorrow?” Sirius asked, confirming their mission to figure out who this bloke was that had Lily agreeing to a date. 

“Heck yeah!” James said watching Lily walk away. “You know I’ve been really good this year,” he sighed. 

“Are we counting the Jones magazine fiasco?” Remus brought up. 

“Nah. She cornered me after class a few days later and demanded I buy her this new comic about some bloke called Superman. That or she’d tell Lily I helped Padfoot with that Adult-themed prank,” James shuddered. 

_“I wonder what Dear Lily would say about Potter looking at topless photographs of_ **_other_ ** _witches. And to think you were supposed to have been in love with her,”_ Prongs said, mimicking his best Kelpie Jones voice as he recounted the rest of her threat. The others couldn’t help themselves from snickering. 

“IS THAT A LOVE LETTER?!” Marlene’s cry was loud enough for half the Gryffindor table to hear. All four boys snapped their attention to where it was needed immediately. 

Sirius observed Marlene and Mary hovering over a letter in Jones’ hand and his instant gut feeling was one of annoyance. _Who the hell was writing Jones a love letter?_

“Our Kelsey has a lover!” Mary clapped her hands.

“Stop it!” Jones tried to keep the letter out of reach. “If you must know,” Jones started. “It’s just Benji.”

“Ugh. Please no. My virgin ears. Keep it in the bedroom!” Mary dramatically covered them, attempting to them block out. 

_Was she still in touch with him?_ Sirius eyed the parchment in Jones’ hand. 

“Oh my god!” Kelsey shrieked, embarrassed. “Can you _like_ not! I had just written to him about some NEWT advice. You know, to help me study?” she drawled. “Something you two should be doing too.”

As if Jones didn’t spend her free time brainstorming prank ideas. Thankfully, her latest one didn’t need much preparation. Just her wits and womanly er- charms. 

“So that’s what you kids call it nowadays,” Marlene winked at Jones who rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, I bet he’d love to study something else a little more,” Sirius grumbled under his breath as Jones now started blushing against her will. 

“I didn’t even know you still liked him,” Mary thought out loud. 

“I don’t!” she denied. “We just keep in touch.”

“‘Course. That pedo probably wants to touch-” Sirius’ disapproval was cut short by James. 

“That’s it, let's go. Padfoot, you either need to make a move or stop bitching!” He grabbed him by the collar and dragged him off. The other two boys followed. 

“Make a move on what?” The three boys just shook their heads silently. “On what?!” Sirius’ voice echoed down the hall. 

ϟ

“Moony,” Sirius said while tossing a Snitch replica up in the air as he lay on his bed in the dorm. It was the night before the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. His mood had improved considerably throughout the day when he had managed to coyly entice a seventh-year for a quick snog session. Despite his recent closet shenanigans, he found his thoughts coming back to his confusing reaction to Jones. 

“Yes Pads,” Remus replied, already preparing himself for the question that was about to come. 

This was it. Sirius Black had finally realised it. If it were up to Prongs, they would have told him two years ago. But Remus insisted that their friend needed to figure it out on his own. Remus had watched him for the last two days sighing in deep thought. All he had to do was be the supportive best friend as Padfoot divulged his true feelings. 

“What’s a V-Card?”

“A what?” That was not what Remus had expected. 

“A V-card,” Sirius stated. 

“Sounds American,” he started carefully. “Is this about Jones?” he asked, trying to sound disinterested. 

“She said something about taking my V-Card and popping a cherry?” 

“Not sure. It sounds metaphorical. I could ask Astrid if you want?” he offered. 

“Nevermind. I’ll figure it out eventually,” he tried to play it off coolly.

“Did something happen? You’ve been avoiding her..” 

Sirius paused, catching the Snitch. His mind wandered back to the feel of her hands tugging his red and gold tie. 

Feelings, he decided could be treacherous. One day you were on your merry way to hating someone and the next, you felt all giddy. One day your little brother looked up to you as if you were his whole world and the next, he hated your guts for existing. 

Jones was just the latest addition to his growing pile of turmoil. Since Day One, he had watched her avidly, pranking her, teasing her. Her ability to almost get back at him every time was what kept drawing him back. He didn't know why he felt this tug to demand her attention. He felt a stupid smile threatening to make its way onto his face as he thought of the time he had managed to throw a snowball at her _cute_ teddy bear covered butt and the satisfaction of stopping her from snogging the stupid Macdonald git. 

Feelings he decided, as he found a small part of himself wanting to recreate his kiss with her, could be treacherous indeed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Please do Votes/Feedback as usual if you did! Next chapter up on Tuesday :3


	18. If This Was A Movie

"Do they _really_ think that we don't know they're following us?" Lily was annoyed.

Kelsey giggled into her ear. "I don't know.." She honestly wondered sometimes. "They can't be that thick, right?" 

The two girls walked down Hogsmeade towards the newly opened Muggle store. Although it was a little further from the main part of the village, even as the girls approached the store they could see the crowd of students inside.

They came to a stop in front of the sign _'Wee Muggle-ton: One-stop shop for all your non-wizard fancies'_

Consequently, they heard some silent shuffling behind them.

"I thought you said Potter was doing okay this year?" Kelsey asked in a hushed tone.

"He is. He's just - I don't know sometimes," her friend blushed.

"Oh my god!" Kelsey looked at her in shock. "You actually like his attention!"

"No!"

"Admit it. You like Potter!"

"I do not!" she retorted as low in a voice as she could without alerting them.

It was the most curious thing. They were sure that the two boys were following them. But every time they turned around, there was nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Just empty air. 

Kelsey wondered if either of them knew disillusionment charms.

Why they would choose to follow them around Hogsmeade was a mystery. Kelsey was more interested in learning what the store held. Thinking that that was a problem for another day they entered the store.

"Is that what I think it is?!" Kelsey exclaimed in delight at the row of vinyls in front of her.

"The Rolling Stones!" Lily grabbed a record off the shelf and held it in her hands.

The newly opened Muggle store in Hogsmeade was a hit so far. For the first time ever the wizarding town of Hogsmeade had been graced with the presence of this unique opportunity. The store was very crowded. There were many inquisitive students from Hogwarts, mostly muggle-borns like Lily and Kelsey. The remaining few with no muggle background whatsoever stood awkwardly in the shop wondering what to make of the intriguing products around them.

Two of these students included James Potter and Sirius Black.

"What is that?" James whispered to Sirius as he saw Lily beaming at some thin square piece of cardboard in her hand.

"A vinyl. They go in record players," Sirius explained.

Yes, the two boys had been covertly following Lily. But imagine their surprise when they found out that there was no bloke near Lily but rather just Kelpie Jones.

"And to think he actually had the audacity to bail on my Lily! She's perfect! She didn't deserve him anyway!" James was furious. Of course his first instinct had been to assume the worst.

"Shh! They'll hear us!" Sirius held a finger up to his lips.

Students around him looked at them warily.

"Is that James Potter?" someone whispered.

"Why does he have his sweatshirt hood on? And why is he wearing sunglasses inside?" another asked. 

"Mummy, look. Funny man," a small toddler tugged her mother's hand and pointed at James' strange get up. Startled, the concerned mother immediately pulled her child in close away from the shady looking young men. "Come on Catherine. I'll get you some Cauldron Cakes instead. The Jolly Ranchers can wait," she ushered her child away while shooting them nasty glances.

"Yeah. This might not have been the best idea. We're drawing too much attention. Where's your cloak anyway? We shouldn't have taken it off," Sirius said matter of factly.

"Tucked into my coat. Never mind that- this store's crowded, they'll never see us!"

"Wanna try that again?" Jones' chirpy voice interrupted their banter. They froze on the spot and swivelled around.

"Fancy seeing you here Jones," Sirius smirked, trying to play it off coolly.

"Please don't tell Evan-"

"Tell me what, Potter?" Lily showed up from behind one of the rows, hands on her hips, looking at him thoroughly displeased.

"Tha-that," Potter was struggling to find the words.

"That you look fetching as ever Evans. Prongs just wanted to stop by and say that," Sirius thumped Potter on the back. He really deserved a lot more credit for being such a good wingman.

"Guys, we know you've been following us," Kelsey informed them.

"Have you now, _guys,_ " Sirius mocked, adjusting his accent a bit. She narrowed her eyes at him, mentally revving up to retort when Lily stopped her.

"Let's go Kels. I'm done here if you are," Lily took her by the sleeve and started leading her friend away before she started bickering with Black. Sometimes she wondered if that's how she and Potter looked from the other people's point of view..so heated with copious amounts of unresolved sexual tension?

With their bag full of candies, books and few homey knick-knacks, they left the store.

"Where are you going?" James and Sirius followed them out of the store.

"To eat."

As if on cue, Sirius' tummy growled too. Looking at his friend Sirius shrugged, "Might as well eat something. At least we'll get to follow them."

"We can hear you!"

"Great! Make sure you grab a table for four, we'll be right behind you," Sirius waved at them.

Now outside the Three Broomsticks, Kelsey rolled her eyes but made a beeline for a large table anyway. She thought for a moment with Potter and Black on their heels that she needed to test out that Lily-not-hating-Potter theory.

"Sherlock Holmes got nothin' on me," she whispered to herself in full mission mode.

"Ugh, you're doing it again. I told you- stop talking like you're in a James Bond movie," Lily groaned. 

"Did you hear that Pads, she said my name!" The two boys appeared, standing awkwardly. Lily rolled her eyes as she took off her coat and put it around a chair.

"I heard love makes you blind but I didn't think it made you deaf. Who's James Bond?" Sirius suspiciously looked at Lily while Potter looked at her expectedly too. Could this be the mysterious bloke Padfoot had heard make plans with Lily? 

Lily shared a silent look of disbelief with Jones. Both girls decided that it wasn't worth it.

"Just sit would you!" Lily exclaimed. "Either that or leave. Anything's better than you stammering and following us."

The three students looked at her in surprise. No one had expected her to actually ask them to sit down at the table. 

Who was James Potter to refuse? But nevertheless, Kelsey saw an opportunity.

With a shrug, Sirius took a seat next to Jones while James slowly took a seat next to Evans. "Jones," he chirped.

"Black," she said unenthusiastically.

"Well, don't sound too excited to see me," he winked at her.

"I'm getting myself some drinks, Kels?" Evans got up.

"Just a Butterbeer and some Fish and Chips," she piped up.

"Why thank you Evans, I'll have-"

"-a kick up your arse if you finish that sentence," Kelsey threatened Sirius. Evans sent her an amused look and went off to order. Potter kept glancing back at the door shiftily every few moments. 

Sharing a quick look with Potter, she surprisingly got into a conversation with him, egging him about the comic he was still due to give her. It was best that Evans didn't know she was blackmailing him for some free goods, even if it was the least he could do for her troubles. Sirius glanced between them skeptically, scoffing every now and then feeling left out, and increasingly hungry.

Sirius' tummy growled again, a little too loudly, alerting Potter and Kelsey of his predicament. Kelsey tried to keep herself from laughing. She watched the two boys communicating silently without words while Lily walked back with some more Butterbeer. She was kind enough to get one for Black as well.

"So err, anyone here manage to conjure that Patronus too? The unit's almost over and I think Professor Dusting is about to lose it if more of us don't," Lily diverted the conversation. Simultaneously, the other three groaned.

"Lily remember what I said before we left?" Kelsey asked her. "Out of school, out of mind."

"So that we can hear all about Kelsey daydreaming about snogging Benji while conjuring a Patronus. No, thank you. I'd like to not vomit today," Sirius blanched. Lily shot Kelsey a silent "We'll be talking about that later look" which the other two boys didn't miss. 

Kelsey hid her face in her hands, thinking back to what exactly had clicked in her when she had conjured the Patronus. Surely, it had to have been a fluke..she would have to ask Astrid to practice with her later.

"Oh shut it! You just invited yourself," Lily turned a little red.

"Hey now. I think what Evans brought up was important-"

"What are you even doing here still? Weren't you going to order something to eat though? Isn't that the whole point of you following us here?" Evans asked. Sirius was about to agree and tell James to get him something when Potter kicked his friend under the table. With a yelp, anything on Sirius' lips died.

"So you ladies..you two here all alone?" Sirius asked.

"Yes?" Kelsey replied unsure of what they were after.

"Not meeting anyone here?" Potter inquired further, glancing at the door as if waiting for someone to show up.

"Did you not hear what she just said?" said Evans. Just like that Lily and James broke out into a banter of their own, exchanging heated words while Potter tried to explain himself.

"You sure?" Kelsey felt Black lean closer to her and whisper softly. Holding back a smirk, she met his gaze.

"Why Mr Black are you jealous or any potential dates we may or may not be expecting?" she replied softly, batting her eyelashes.

"Pfft," he scoffed once again. "More likely to do a favour to any poor tosser who might walk in the door for a date with you," he replied smugly.

She shuffled her chair a little closer to his so that their arms barely touched. With Lily and Potter busy in their own world she decided to try out the next part of her plan once again.

"What are you doing?" he sounded astonished at her willingness to inch closer to him. In his six years of experience, Jones usually ran in the opposite direction. Not towards him. He found it off that she wanted to be nearer. Odder yet that he seemed pleased about it.

"Have you given any thought to what I said the other day?" she asked softly. His mind went back to something to do with V-Cards. Unfortunately, Moony hadn't been able to gather that information from Astrid yet.

"What's a V-Card?" he asked hoarsely. With a small chuckle, Kelsey grinned and leaned in closer. She whispered in his ear, missing out on his eyes going wide as saucers as he felt himself getting a little too warm. She heard a sharp intake of breath and put some distance between them to see for herself his reaction, no doubt evidence of her well-laid plans.

Their eyes met and if this was a movie, it would have been in a slow motion drama. Without breaking eye contact, he reached for the big mug of butterbeer and brought it to his lips so that he wouldn't have to reply.

He had to be dreaming. Did she just say what he thought she did?

Kelsey leaned over again and subtly put a hand on his thigh, just out of anyone's sight under the table.

Sirius did a very un-Sirius thing.

Surprised at the sudden contact, he yelped and spilled half the contents of his mug over the table onto Potter while getting Lily a bit in the hair.

"Sirius what the fuc-"

"James! You can't cuss!" Lily interrupted him. She looked at the drops of butterbeer dropping down her own locks in dismay. "Forget it. Come with me!"

She led him away by the hand, inciting a similar yelp from James at the contact, no doubt leading him to the washrooms. He turned his head back to look at them in wonder. Sirius managed to send him a thumbs up. She had called him James. 

With their two friends now gone, Sirius and Kelsey found themselves alone.

Sirius was suddenly very aware of the fact that Kelsey had been trying to grope him until a few moments ago. He put some space between them.

"Aww what happened Black?" she. "Can't handle this?" she pointed her thumbs at herself.

The boy snickered. _As if_ , he thought. _It's you couldn't handle me._

"We could always test that." He had said that out loud. Just like that, she was coaxing him again. Sirius wished that he would get tired of looking into her eyes. But he didn't. They were a different shade of blue every time.

"Be careful what you wish for Jones," he murmured. His hand sneaked around her waist and she almost froze at the contact. She saw his gaze dip to her lips. He did that a lot around her. It made her conscious. It reminded her of the time he had grabbed her and kissed her. The warmth that started spreading felt the same. _I should probably do something,_ but she remained fixed as his gaze dipped to her lips.

"Oi! This is a pub! Get a room or get out!" The bar-keep yelled out to them, suddenly breaking them out of their trance. They split apart comically.

"I-I," Kelsey too was at a loss for words.

"I need to go. Probably find Moony. Quidditch practice too. Match next week. You should come. Okay? Cheerio," Sirius rambled and rushed off again just like in detention leaving Kelsey with her heart hammering.

 _He's a mental one, indeed._ Kelsey smiled to herself.

Sometime later Potter and Evans returned with Evans looking a little red in the face and Potter looking dazed.

"Where's Padfoot?" he looked around for his missing friend.

"He said something about finding Lupin I think. And Quidditch.." she said, hoping her voice didn't give anything away. She hadn't expected to get tongue-tied herself in this prank war.

"Oh yeah, you two should come. To the after-party celebration I mean. Common Room as usual," Potter looked at Lily expectedly.

"Are you that confident that you'll win?" Lily looked at him surprised.

Thinking it over, a smile slowly came over his face as he beamed at her. "Evans, love. When it comes to Quidditch I always am." 

"In fact," he grabbed a chip off Kelsey's plate and popped it in his mouth, tipping the chair back. "I might play Chaser, but I'm a Keeper for sure," he winked at her and sat down leaving Lily staring at him with her mouth agape.

 _Now who was the stammering fool_ , thought Potter as he watched Lily search for words. His initial worry over her 'date' was forgotten and he realised that today had indeed been a good day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please, Vote/Comment if you lol-ed! Next chapter on Friday (and then Sunday)


	19. hoax

“That cocky son of -” 

“Language, Evans!” Kelsey stopped Lily from finishing that sentence. 

“Right, sorry,” Lily ran a hand through her hair as the girls all made their way to the Gryffindor Common Room. All five girls had readied themselves in the Hufflepuff dorms earlier that evening. 

“Shouldn’t you be happy that Gryffindor won?” Astrid asked as the redhead gave her an exasperated look. 

“Of course I am!” Her riled-up tone did not reflect her words. “It’s just- does he have to get his way all the time?”

“Well, he was made Captain for a reason. Clearly, he deserves it,” Mary pointed out. 

“I mean..” Marlene fanned herself. “..those moves. That match today was magic of a different kind." She pretended to swoon.

“Careful McKinnon. You might give us her impression that you’re into Potter,” Kelsey teased. 

Lily sent Marlene a quick unsure look that went missed by the rest of the girls. 

“You’re one to talk! Don’t think we didn’t see you cosying up with Sirius  _ Snog-me-now _ Black, on the field,” Marlene replied to redirect the attention. 

Naturally, Kelsey snorted at the adjective choice. “You must be imagining things now,” she waved it off.  As they walked on, approaching the party, Kelsey wished that her stomach would settle down. After all, what did she have to be nervous about?

_ True to his word, Potter had ensured that Gryffindor won their first match of the season against Ravenclaw. As with tradition, the students had all rushed down to the pitch once it was over to congratulate the players.  _

_ Kelsey and Astrid being two lost Hufflepuffs in the sea of cheering Gryffindors. Why their Gryffindor friends felt the need to pull them along, was something they didn’t know. Kelsey had watched from a distance as Potter shot Evans a shit-eating, smug look while mouthing ‘I told you’. Evans had smiled along in the moment, mouthing back her congratulations as Mary and Marlene jumped around her.  _

_ “You came,” Kelsey heard someone whisper in her ear. She had turned to see Sirius Black standing too close to her.  _

_ “That was a fun game.” She meant every word of it. It hadn’t been the first time seeing him in action on the field. It was certainly the first time she had seen him since Hogsmeade a few days ago. She had been surprised at the weird flip her tummy had done as she saw him walk onto the pitch earlier that day.  _

_ “Did you see that mid-air spin I did with the last Bludger?” he sounded excited. His hit had come just in time to sway the Ravenclaw Seeker away from the Snitch. Kids around them thumped his back but he was only focused on her.  _

_ “That I did,” she grinned back. “You’re certainly something Black.” _

_ As the crowd celebrated, a swarm of disorganisation, someone accidentally pushed him into her. He fell forward, grasping on to Jones’ waist as she too did her best to keep him upright.  _

_ “Are you coming to the party later?” His grey eyes bore into her ocean blues. Unable to form words thanks to his hand still steady on her person, she nodded.  _

Recalling the memory, Kelsey gulped now. She was sure her palms were a little clammy. Was it too hot in the corridor? Whatever happened to the cool late October breeze? 

“Jones!” Mary snapped her out of her stupor. They were standing outside the portrait of the Fat Lady. Muffled shouts could be heard on the other side. 

“Are you feeling alright?” Marlene eyed her. 

“You look a bit peaky,” Astrid put a hand to her forehead. Kelsey gently swatted it away assuring them that she was fine. She wasn’t jumpy about this party. No way. 

Certainly not edgy about the fact that a certain Marauder would be there and the fact that he had specifically asked for her. 

“Okay girls! This is it. The first party of our last year,” Marlene started in her most serious tone. “Outfit check,” she demanded, making them all line up for one last look. 

Kelsey in her suede skirt, plain black t-shirt, and light cardigan, gently smoothed her skirt. Looking around, she saw her friends making similar last-minute adjustments. 

“Just saying. If I wasn’t into dudes, I’d have a hard time picking between you four,” Marlene playfully winked at Mary who poked her tongue out. 

“Am I dreaming? Or did you  _ actually  _ say that Mckinnon?” they heard the familiar voice of the Gryffindor Quidditch captain call out. The girls saw James Potter and Peter Pettigrew walking up to the portrait as well. 

Arms tucked behind, Kelsey gave him a once over. Like many times before she saw something silvery shimmer behind him. Noticing her gaze, Potter discretely adjusted it but not before she raised a curious eyebrow at him as if to say  _ ‘I’m onto you’ _ . 

“You wish, Potter,” Kelsey replied. 

“Me and many boys indeed,” he said airily. He faced Lily who was skittishly looking at the door. 

“Shouldn’t you be inside?” Marlene asked. 

On cue, Potter nudged Pettigrew who held up a large tray of cupcakes. The top few had candles on them. It had been charmed to stack high without toppling over. 

“We were just get something extra for our birthday boy,” he explained. 

“His birthday is still a few days out,” Kelsey said.

“Aha! You remember his birthday!” Potter sounded smug. 

“It’s hard to forget when you spend every year watching your back as the target,” she groaned recalling it. Sirius’ birthday pranks were one of Kelsey’s dreaded days. 

“We’re all about the environment you see. We figured two parties so close to each would be…”

“Awful,” Kelsey finished.

Potter clicked his tongue. “..wasteful.” He sent an award-winning smile Lily’s way. 

“Ladies please, let us escort you in,” he said smoothly to which Mary and Astrid giggled. Going with the group they entered as Potter dramatically announced their arrival, walking into the Common Room. Although the effort was wasted because other than Lupin, no one looked their way. It was indeed as rowdy as one could expect. 

ϟ

“Moony moony moony.” A tipsy Padfoot made his way to his mate. Remus was currently standing in a corner of the Common Room with a shy Astrid. They had been in the middle of a conversation. 

“Padfoot,” Remus replied lazily. 

“Are yuh havin fuun?” his friend slurred a little. “I’m havi-” He paused to hiccup. “-ving fun.” He sat down on the arm of the loveseat on the verge of sprawling over him.

“Astrid, my love,” he smiled at her. “Looking lovely as ever I see,” he winked mischievously. 

“Did you ever find out what a V-Card was?” Remus asked. Astrid accidentally shot some Butterbeer out her nose in a snort. 

“What?!” she held back a smile.

“Don’t even ask,” Remus sighed. 

“Did you see her?” Sirius asked. 

“Who- Jones?” 

Another hiccup. 

“Yeah,” Sirius scanned the room for her, finally settling on her. “Who’s that bloke she’s talking to?” he wondered. 

“It’s that sixth year who was at tryouts I think,” Astrid piped up. 

Sirius grunted in response. “Oi Wormtail. Be a darling and get me another Firewhisky, mate!” The mousy boy squeaked incoherently and scuttled off.

“Shouldn’t you go er..talk to her?” Remus eyed Wormtail returning just as quickly with another filled glass. 

“Nah,” Sirius took the glasl. “She just got here. It’d look desperate.” He took a large swig.

“Right,” Remus snickered into his drink. “Desperate,” he sent Astrid a knowing look. 

Moony had a point. He should probably walk over and talk to her right?  _ But how soon was too desperate _ Sirius pondered, swirling the drink in his hand, lost in thought. 

Turns out he wouldn't need to find out because soon enough he saw another seventh-year Gryffindor walk to and start chatting up Jones.

Not that he cared. It was a free country. She could talk to whomever she pleased. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw him taking a few steps closer to her, while she instinctively took a few back. Her tight-lipped expression and flicker of disdain were enough for him. Like a lightbulb going off in his head, he marched over. 

“Kelpi- err- Kelsey, love, there you are!” he smoothly wrapped his hand around her waist. Almost instantly he could smell her citrusy shampoo. He decided that he liked it.

“I-I am?” Even though he could feel her freeze, she didn't push him away she looked up at him with relief.

He grinned back sending her a quick wink and she took the hint.

“Right! I am- Obvi!” she said in her most  _ Duh! _ Tone.

By now the other guy was confused. 

“Americans,” Black said as if it was the most obvious explanation for her actions. 

“Sorry- didn’t realise you were with him,” he mumbled. “Oh and Happy Birthday mate.”

_ That’s right. Walk away.  _ Sirius was pleased to see him retreat back to his friends. 

“Black.”

“Jones.”

“Your arm,” her eyes quickly flicked down to his arm that was still holding on to her. Suddenly, he pulled himself away.

“I always knew you were secretly dying to get in my arms Black,” she chirped. 

“You should be thanking me-”

“Yeah, because I need you to play superhero, birthday boy,” she said. 

“Please I did you a favour,” Sirius rolled his eyes. 

She hummed in response with a playful glint in her eyes. She quite enjoyed the few moments of peaceful banter with him.

“I’ve heard from a good few of my regular snogs..” he began but he saw her face drop a little. “..that he’s just a two-pump chump-” Kelsey who was in the middle of sipping her drink spat it out, all over Sirius, turning his perfectly dry shirt and face and hair mostly wet.

“Ew that went up my nose!” She wheezed a bit on the feeling of it constricting her throat. Like when saltwater enters your system at a beach. 

“Jones!” In shock, Sirius had jumped away from her. That whole scene earned them a lot of looks from around them. “What have I told you about the hair?!” He ran a hand over his face, wiping off the few droplets. 

Kelsey realised that this would have been a great moment to have the superpowers of Kitty from XMen. So she could slink back into the wall and disappear. 

_ Real smooth, Kelsey. This is why you haven’t had a proper boyfriend till date. _

“I’ll be back,” he muttered under his breath heading upstairs to the cleanup. He held his shirt away from his skin lest it stick.  _ At least there was never a dull moment with her _ .

ϟ

Sirius was walking down the stairs of the Boys Dorm Rooms when he heard a set of familiar voices at the connecting balcony. It was a little after 9. Peeking around the corner, he saw Jones and Astrid, sitting on the ground, chatting away.

“Have you seen him yet?” he heard Astrid ask Jones. He wondered if they were talking about him. 

“Yeah for a bit. I think he went off to the loo for a bit,” Jones said. 

“Right. I heard someone spilled their drink on him,” Astrid turned to look towards the boys' dorm staircase making Sirius promptly hide himself.  He heard Jones reply a shrill  _ Mhmm.  _

“Speaking of..what happened to your plan?” she further asked. 

This had him intrigued. He saw Kelsey shrug. 

“I ditched it. I think it did its trick. Oh My Merlin, Tatty! You should have seen him at The Three Broomsticks a few days back!” 

Okay, now he knew for a fact that they were talking about him. 

“I still think it was a little mean you know,” her friend sounded unsure.

“Oh please!” Jones scoffed. “As if he doesn’t go around playing with girls’ hearts. Plus, it’s all in good fun. I think he knows it..” her voice trailed off. 

_ All in good fun.  _ The words rang in his ear. He didn’t know if it was because he had had a little too much Firewhisky or if it was because he thought a small part of him had hoped that it hadn’t been all in good fun- 

“He hasn’t done that to you has he, though?” Astrid told her. “Besides what made you stop anyway?”

“Like you said. It was a little too mean. Plus his eyes did this weird thing when he looked at me - and then I think my heart would beat crazy- it was weird,” she sounded a little remorseful. A look came over her but Sirius being too tipsy to see the truth behind it couldn’t understand it.

Pissed off, he stormed back downstairs and hung about Remus for the next hour avoiding her in a sulk. 

He had lost count of how many drinks he had when he saw her disappearing behind Prongs. 

ϟ

From her vantage point, Kelsey saw Potter whispering to Remus. With a slight nod, Potter smirked. Giving a quick look around the room, he missed Kelsey’s watchful eye and brought out an old-looking cloak. At last, Kelsey was on to him. 

She didn’t know where Sirius had disappeared off to but she figured that she had probably scared him off for good after her snort-spit combo of Magic Mead that drenched him. Not that it mattered if she scared him off. 

She had started off as innocent flirting because his reactions had been too good to miss out on. But experiencing her own fluster hadn't been part of it and frankly she had no idea where it came from. Which is why she had pretended to break it off under false pretences with Astrid. It was like the Spiderman principle:  _ With great power, comes great responsibility.  _ Uncle Ben had really been on to something. 

Potter tucked it under his arms and quietly walked towards the exit. Silently, Kelsey followed hoping the other boys hadn’t seen her.

She stayed a few feet behind Potter, creeping softly without making a noise. Just as the door creaked open, she saw him pull out the cloak. She ran after him before he could disappear on her. She almost knew what it was. She just needed to confirm it. 

“Aha! I knew it!” she exclaimed.  James Potter who had been in the middle of throwing on the cloak over his shoulders froze. 

“It’s not what it looks like,” he looked at her shocked. 

“You have an invisibility cloak!” she cried out animatedly. 

“Ssh!” Potter shushed her, looking worried that someone else might hear. With a huff, he grabbed her by the arm as she started asking him questions and tried to pull it from him to examine him. He swatted her hand away and proceeded to drag her to a smaller empty corridor a little further away. 

Standing her in front of him, Potter looked around to make sure the coast was clear. He took her in, eyes gleaming, bursting to ask questions no doubt.

“Speak,” he finally sighed. 

“You have a cloak.”

“What about it?”

“How?”

“Long story.”

“That’s how you keep doing all your weird shenanigans!” she gasped.

Potter looked at her. “Depends on who’s asking,” he replied calmly. He was clutching on to the cloak for dear life. Looking at him she considered her next move. “And I’ll have you know what we do is art-”

“I want in on this,” she decided. 

“Absolutely not!”

“What?! Why?” Although Kelsey wasn’t the least bit surprised. She figured it would take more convincing. 

“You seem to be doing fine on your own. You got into our dorm room to mess with Padfoot’s shampoo didn’t you?” he stated. 

“Or I mean..” she spoke again. There was almost only one guaranteed way to get one’s way with James Potter. “..I could always tell Lily how you’ve been going about doing all these things ”

“What do you need it for anyway?”

“To get even with Black. Duh!” she said as if it was the most obvious thing. “He has a weird thing for full moons, you know? I used to catch him out a lot. And the git would even make a whole thing of pointing it out,” she went on. 

“Like two peas in a pod,” he grumbled just loud enough for her to hear. She ignored it and ran her hand over the smooth texture. 

“Fine. But you have to promise me you can’t go following him on a full moon,” he warned. He felt a little sick hoping that he wasn’t selling Moony out. He held it out to her. 

“Yes, because that isn’t suspicious  _ at all _ .” She was about to reach for it when he pulled it back giving her a  _ ‘Are you serious’ _ look. “Fine. I’ll behave. Scouts honour.”

He gave her a confused look but handed it over for examination anyway. 

By now they were sitting on one of the windowsills, that overlooked the Scottish landscape. 

“Wicked,” she grinned examining it closer. She looked up to see Potter’s face looking at her in good fun. He seemed happy that she was just as thrilled about this piece of cloth as him.

A light breeze blew through, making Jones shiver. Potter sighed.  Fleamont and Euphemia Potter had raised him to be a gentleman. Even if it was being polite towards Lady Satan herself. 

“That cardigan’s too thin,” he pointed out. 

“It’s fine. I like it like this,” she said. 

If he hadn’t been wearing a jumper beneath, he wouldn’t be doing this. Begrudgingly he took off his own light jacket and scooted closer in order to drape it over her. 

“So..” he began. “..about Evans”

“Relax Potter. I won’t tell her nothing,” she grinned back. “Wasn’t going to in the first place.”

“Why- you-”

“No backsies!” she giggled and tugged the jacket a little closer. 

Loud steps interrupted them. A madly blushing and giggling girl appeared, pulling on a hand that turned out to belong to Sirius Orion Black. 

Sirius Black froze at the scene. James had still been adjusting his jacket over Jones’ shoulder. Jones herself was in the middle of laughing. The very same smile that for some reason seemed to flutter Sirius’ own heart. He saw her sharing that look with Potter. He felt a stab of pain in his chest. 

A shrill giggle distracted his attention to the hand he was holding. He saw the blonde looking up at him with shining eyes. 

“Sirius!” she slurred a bit. “Here?” She tried to make a face, hoping he’d get the hint that they should probably take the show somewhere else. 

Determined, Sirius wasn’t one to back down from a show. With a smirk, he wrapped his arm around her waist, making her sigh in content. 

“Don't mind if I do,” he tipped his head forward. 

“Happy Birthday Sirius,” she said sultrily, batting her eyelashes. 

“Indeed,” he grinned wickedly. Directly looking at Jones, he captured the sixth-year’s lips in a full kiss. 

Kelsey realised that she hadn’t been drinking enough water that night despite Lily’s repeated reminders to hydrate. Her throat suddenly felt dry as she stared at Black locking lips with the blonde, not understanding why his challenging gaze unsettled her. She felt a heavy thud in her heart. 

“I think we should go,” Potter nudged her, drawing her out of her trance. He gave her a small smile looking at her with sympathy. 

She nodded and removed the jacket off of her and handed it back to him. Another laugh made her look back at where they had been standing. She saw the couple disappearing around a corner, back where they had come from. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I know I know. Human beings have flaws, okay. There’s no fun in writing perfect characters. 
> 
> Anywho - this was a long one! Please do vote/comment if you liked it! :3


	20. Don't Blame Me

The following week, on Thursday which happened to be November 3rd, James Potter managed to drag Remus Lupin away during lunch. It was Sirius’ birthday and he didn’t want to risk having him hear the information he was about to share. Especially not when James had managed to muster up the sense to talk to someone about this predicament without losing his mind.

They were sitting in one of the corridors, on the window, a few corridors away from the Great Hall. 

“Satan walks this Earth,” James declared grimly. 

“You really do have a flair for the dramatics don’t you, Prongs? Padfoot must be rubbing off on you,” Remus said. Although he knew that it was too late. That ship had sailed a long time ago.

“And her name is Kelpie Jones,” James continued. He had their map open in front of them and was currently busy glaring at Jones’ small blip on it. Remus saw his stare falter and looked down too. 

On the map, they could see Jones and Astrid in the Great Hall. Sirius’ dot too was in the hall. However, James was focused on hers. And only because they were paying close attention, they were able to see Jones’ getting closer to Black’s before he suddenly walked past her at a worryingly fast pace and exited the hall. 

“Curious,” murmured Remus. With a sigh, James gave him a tired look. “I’m not going to like what you're about to tell me, am I?” he asked warily. 

Shaking his head, James recounted the whole episode from the Quidditch party a few days ago, explaining how Jones had found out about the cloak, had tricked him into lending it - although not yet, and finally the whole Sirius fiasco, which only garnered more pity for her. 

James was worried about two things- firstly, Jones finding out about Moony and secondly, Sirius realising that she was determined to follow him. Remus' solution had been to just tell Sirius but James was quick to shoot it down, “No! We can’t tell him. She’ll know.” 

“Why did you agree to share it with her anyway?”

“She wanted to find out where he’s going and why he gets excited about full moons.”

“You mean..”

“Yes. You,” Prongs sounded frustrated. 

“You don’t think she suspects, do you?” Remus paled at the thought. 

“Doubt it. She’s probably in it to catch Padfoot doing something. That idiot was way too obvious about full moons and now it’s got her wondering.”

“What do we do?” Remus realised that this couldn't have happened at a worse time. Just when he and Astrid were finally back to normal. 

The only other person who knew was Lily, and Remus thanked his stars every day that she was subtle in her approach to it when talking to him. The same could not be said for Jones. She was as subtle as Sirius hiding his repulsion for Snape. 

After a while James came up with the best solution he could. “I could..” he started speaking but then stopped, giving Remus a nervous look at the tips of his ears turned red. “..talk to Evans about it and see if she can help us keep an eye on her?” 

“That  _ would  _ be the better option than asking Wormtail,” Remus considered. 

The boys had started making their way back to get to their next class when they spotted Jones walking alone with a steely look on her face, looking ready to murder. They both figured it probably had something to do with what they witnessed on the map not fifteen minutes ago. 

“Oi, Jones!” Potter’s voice stopped Kelsey in her tracks. She saw him marching over to her while going through his sling bag for something. Her immediate response was to take a defensive stance. She was not in the mood for this today. 

After all, it was November 3rd. Sirius Black might have blown her off but who’s to say it wasn't a part of their greater scheme to mess with her?

“Here. It arrived by owl this morning,” Potter grabbed a thin book from his bag and shoved it at her. He gave her a small smile. He hadn't missed the pained look on her face as she made eye contact with Sirius Black sucking face with that girl. James did think that was a little meaner than Padfoot usually was but he had kept mum about it regardless. Not that he needed to, Padfoot seemed to have been avoiding him since then too.

Holding it in her hands, Kelsey recognised that freshly printed, inked paper smell anywhere.

“Holy Moses, I didn’t actually think you’d go through with it!” She stared at the issue of Superman in disbelief. 

“So please don’t tell Lily about my hand in the adult magazines,” he whispered the last part cautiously but Kelsey wasn’t listening. She had already forgotten that whole fiasco. After all, it was  _ so _ 5 chapters ago.

“Oh my god, Oh my god, Oh my god, you’re the best!!” she squealed and launched into a hug. Her strength surprised Potter when she tackled him to the ground. She wasn’t anything if not an enthusiastic nerd. 

Sirius had been on his way back to the Great Hall to grab something he had forgotten when he once again took in the scene in front of him. Jones literally straddling his best mate, his brother from another mother, gushing at him in excitement. He saw the thin comic in her hand and vaguely remembered something about her threatening Prongs for one. 

It was  _ his  _ birthday today.  _ He  _ should be the one drowning in pretty girls and gifts.

He ignored the fact that he just referred to her as pretty in his mind. Ever since puberty hit, the four boys never had an issue with girls coming between them. 

Yes, Prongs occasionally smacked him when he made playful comments at Lily, but they were always in a wingman fashion. Right now, Sirius' hand was itching to grab his wand and create some physical distance between them. The two hadn’t noticed him yet, although Sirius saw Remus glance at him looking concerned. 

Wondering about the noisy commotion, Lily and Alice Longbottom too made their way out from their late lunch into the corridor as well. While Lily wasn't surprised to learn that Kelsey was the cause of it. However, a frown fell on her when she noticed the messy haired boy under her friend.

_ In broad daylight no less! _ The thought infuriated her. 

“Kelsey!” As Head Girl, Lily needed to make sure students behaved appropriately at all times. 

Her red-headed friend’s shriek alerted Kelsey of her compromising position. With a yelp, Kelsey pushed away from Potter. In her excitement, she had forgotten her surroundings as she clutched onto her latest addition. She was still beaming internally when a loud scoff garnered everyone’s attention. 

“You’d think he could keep his hands to himself but I guess once he’s already sneaking off, getting handsy with a Kelplie in empty corridors, there’s very little that’ll surprise you.” The cold voice belonged to Sirius Black. 

“Padfoot what fu-” 

But Sirius was stalking away after sneering at them before James could even finish that sentence. 

“Emp-empty corridors Kelsey? You’re a Prefect! You’re supposed to be setting an example!” 

“Lily no, you got this wrong-” Lily shushed her. 

“If that is the case,” Lily began in a high-pitched voice. Kelsey turned to face her now, eyes-wide. “Then I sug-suggest you find a r-room. This is a public space and the sacred grounds of education. Potter , as Head Boy y-you too should know better.” Lily didn’t know why her voice was suddenly breaking. She didn’t understand the prickle of tears she could feel at the corner of her eyes. Turning away swiftly, she stormed off because either of them could stop her with Alice following her on her heels. 

“Fudge! Lily! It’s not what you think!” Kelsey was about to run after her but Remus held her back. 

“Lilypad no!” Next to her Potter looked just as distraught. “And I’d just gotten her to start calling me James after Hogsmeade,” he whined. Kelsey offered him a comforting pat on the shoulder. 

ϟ

**“** WHAT WAS THAT?!” James stormed int o the Marauders dorm room sometime later with Remus on his heels, trying to calm him down. Lunch was over, but it looked like neither of them would be attending afternoon classes that day. 

Sirius grunted from his spot on his bed where he sat in his uniform, looking at James. 

“Care to explain yourself?” James' tone was icy cold. Yes, he loved the boy like a brother but right now he was in no mood for his antics. 

“I think I said it all based on what I’ve been seeing since last weekend,” Sirius replied with snark.

“This is ridiculous. You two are fighting over a girl. We don’t do that,” Remus interrupted sternly. 

“No one’s fighting. He can have her!” Sirius barked. 

“I don't want her! Remember this bird called Evans?”

“Oh, so you do remember her. Funny. I was starting to think you were busy making your way through her friends,” Sirius spat back. 

“First, you ignore me all week. And now this?” James pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. “Look, mate, I know it’s your birthday but honestly, you’re acting like a jealous arse.” 

Sirius laughed. “I’m surprised you noticed. Figured you’d be off celebrating  _ my  _ birthday with your hand up  _ her _ skirt.” 

James and Remus shared a look, understanding their friend’s jealousy but Sirius still hadn’t realised it himself. 

“Padfoot, mate. You got it all wrong. Not that it’s any of your business. You seemed to be getting on fine on Saturday night yourself.” James wasn’t kidding around anymore. 

“Thanks for the reminder. I could well use a birthday snog. Happy  _ fucking  _ birthday to me,” Sirius muttered darkly and stormed out of the dorm. 

He made his way to the one place he could think in peace - The Astronomy Tower. 

It was nearing dinner time when Sirius finally started making his way back downstairs. After he had calmed down, he had replayed the events in his mind. Prongs might have said that it was a misunderstanding but Sirius still felt betrayed and he didn't even know why. Regardless, he had made the decision to go back to the dorms. He hoped that if Prongs apologised first, it would be easier for him to do so. 

_ “ _ _ You’re acting like a jealous arse _ _ ”  _ Prongs was mental for sure. He had only gotten a small glimpse of Jones’ reaction when he had taken in the flicker of hurt in her eyes the moment his lips had met the other girl’s that night.  _ As if she hadn’t been the one teasing him in the first place _ , he remembered bitterly. Not that it bothered him much.  _ He  _ was the Heartbreak Prince of Hogwarts. 

Most of the halls were now deserted as most of the students wouldn’t be in these areas close to dinner. Approaching a corner, he slowed down when he heard angry voices. 

“Tell me, Severus,” a cold voice hissed. “What do you call a mudblood that defends another?”

“I don’t have time for your riddles, Mulciber. They’re drab at best,” drawled Snape. 

Sirius peeked around the corner. He saw a short first or second-year student standing with a hand protectively wrapped around his shoulders. As he stared at the second person, he recognised Kelsey’s profile. They hadn’t heard him approach. 

“Frontpage news,” sneered Mulciber. 

He saw Jones lean down and whisper something to the other kid, who took a few shaky steps back. The tension was clear as all the older students were waiting to see who would draw their wands out first. 

Sirius’ feet automatically moved the moment he saw Jones shove her wand under Mulciber’s chin. 

_ Jones, you idiot.  _

He didn’t remember running. He could only see the dangerous look on Mulciber’s face before grabbing his own wand without thinking twice. 

Before he could hurt her or the other kid, Sirius attacked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudoses/Comments always appreciated!! Next update on Tuesday !!


	21. Superman

_"Expelliarmus!"_

_"Serpensortia!"_

Sirius and Snape were the first ones to attack. Mulciber's wand went flying out of his hand just as Snape managed to conjure the snake. With a shriek Jones jumped away from Mulciber, backing off at the sight of the reptile that was now creeping towards her. 

Without thinking twice, Sirius put himself between Jones and the snake. Pushing her back, he accidentally knocked her off her feet and she tumbled, dragging him down with her.

"Sirius, no!" He shielded himself with his left hand as the snake pounced in time, catching it on his forearm. He cursed under his breath as it stung. 

The pain from the bite crept up his arm just as the snake disappeared into nothing.

"Next time you won't be so lucky _Mudblood_ ," spat one of the two. Sirius couldn't tell who - he was feeling hazy. Jones was by his side now, supporting him against the wall as the Slytherins sunk back into the darkness of the corridors.

"Are you an idiot or are you an idiot?!" she scowled at him.

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Sirius coughed.

"I believe that was a question of the rhetoric nature, Mister Black," Dumbledore's voice, calm as ever, interrupted them.

Both students turned to look at him instantly relieved.

"Professor! We need to get him to the hospital wing - It was those awful Slytherins-" Kelsey began when Dumbledore raised a hand to stop her.

"Mister Rogers, I trust you'll be able to find your way back to the dorms safely?" he asked the first-year boy they had all forgotten about. The scared boy nodded and ran off into the dimly lit corridor.

"Minerva, if you would kindly ensure his safe passage," Dumbledore looked down at his feet to the black cat who sent him a stern look before trotting off behind the boy nevertheless.

"Now, I believe we have some wounds to tend to. Miss Jones, if you please help Mister Black up to my office?"

"But shouldn't we take him to the hospital wing?"

"I'll send for Poppy. Now come. My office is closest. I believe I have a vial of generic anti-venom somewhere."

Minutes later they were both seated in his office with Madame Pomfrey fussing over Sirius' injured arm.

"Why is it always one of you," the nurse grumbled under her breath as she bandaged up Sirius. She took a moment to shoot a glare at Kelsey who looked down embarrassed. Once she was done patching him up, Dumbledore gave a small nod. She was out of the office just as quickly.

"Now, I am sure tonight's incident is not the first of its kind you two may have faced," Dumbledore spoke.

Kelsey and Sirius nodded in agreement thinking back to their first day of classes.

"And it won't be the last. I am afraid _his_ followers grow bolder each day," Dumbledore said sadly.

"You mean.." Kelsey looked at him in shock.

"They're one of You-Know-Who's - Death Eaters?" Sirius asked in equal horror. He didn't think You Know Who was taking in followers this young. He realised that his own brother was still 16. 

"Dark times will be upon us soon and loyalties will be tested," Dumbledore sent them a tired look. "But it is important to remember who our true friends are and keep them close. Now more than ever," he finished knowingly. 

"I trust that will be the last of corridor duels for you two," he looked down at them through his half-moon glasses. Kelsey looked at Sirius who was lost in thought.

"Although a few laughs, prank wars and whatnot will always have their place. It _is_ the best medicine after all." Was Kelsey imaging the gleam in his eyes? "But that's for another day. Now off you go."

They got up silently. They had a lot to think about.

"Prank wars eh?" Sirius mused still sounding rough as they left his office.

"He's probably betting on one of us," Kelsey joked, drawing a short laugh from him. She studied for a few moments when he remained silent.

"You're thinking if he's one of them," she said quietly.

"I keep thinking: What if _he_ had been in the corridor? What would I have done?" Sirius said looking pensive. Kelsey's heart almost broke for him. She didn't know what it was like to lose a brother.

"I think that you would have helped the boy regardless," she concluded.

"You do?" He was surprised by her faith in him.

"Sirius Black," she sighed, stopping suddenly. She looked just as shaken up about the whole thing. "Over six and a half years, I have realised that you are many things: Infuriating, Pompous, perhaps even a slight Superman complex if today events are any clue-"

"Is there supposed to be a compliment in there?"

"But you were put in Gryffindor for a reason. And looking at you, Potter and Lupin, it's obvious- you do care for those who cannot protect themselves," she shrugged. "Although next time, I'd rather you don't interrupt me when I'm handling things my way. I am a Prefect you know. I can hold my own," she insisted.

Sirius grinned feeling weirdly reassured.

"So this means that if I were to say prank you.." he trailed off. With a roll of her eye, she started putting more distance between them before he could finish that thought. They were almost in the main area of the school halls. "..you'd retaliate?"

"I have been so far, haven't I?" She smiled at a few students who passed by. It had been a little boring without having Black actively making her life a living hell, oddly enough.

"Splendid."

All of a sudden Kelsey's world was turned upside-down. Literally. Who knew that Sirius Black had mastered non-verbal spells.

"Put me down! Now!" They were right outside the corridor where most students split to go off to their respective dorm rooms.

"Say it with me when the next batch of students make their way through _'Happy Birthday Sirius Black - O Handsome One, Muse of my Dreams, Woo-er of my Heart'_ he recited. He was waving his wand, holding her hostage upside-down in the air.

"I will literally Hulk Smash you when I'm back on solid ground!" She waved her hands frantically trying to hold her skirt up against gravity. 

"That sounds quite kinky but, no thanks," he chuckled.

"Anytime now," he said as if he were bored all of a sudden. It was still barely 7 pm on his birthday. It had been of the or eventful ones indeed. It had even made him forget that Regulus as usual hadn't talked to him today and that horrid scene including one Prongs and Kelpie.

"Black!" she shrieked, her voice echoing the corridor. Upside down, she could see a sea of students making their way back from dinner. The group of students under her froze, at the scene. Probably to take in her choice knickers once again. Why did she have to wear the one with purple hearts on them?

It seemed that she had no other option. With a huff, she began "Happy Birthday Sirius Black - O Handsome One-"

_"What're they doing?" Students started whispering again._

_"Do you think this is a game?"_

_A gasp, "You mean the bedroom kind?"_

_"I mean, they did call her Kinky Kelpie for a bit."_

"Sorry, Jones, say that a bit louder would you," Sirius held his free hand up to his ear as the students' gossip tuned her out.

"- Wooer of my Heart, Soon to be dead, May his soul rest in peace," she added her own flair. 

With a hearty laugh, he released her and she fell to the ground with a thud. The pain from the snakebite was already fading, replaced by the serotonin rush of watching her squirm and blush.

She groaned clutching her backside in pain. A few students made their way past them.

"You were saying something about that Hulk Smash?" Sirius announced loudly. With murderous intent, she got up.

_"What's a Hulk Smash?" Someone else asked._

_"Beats me. Never heard of it."_

_"You don't think it's when the guy gets on top of the girl and.." the gossiping students gasped in shock again._

They watched Jones chasing after Black down the corridors, with his laughter ringing. The Hogwarts students decided that day that it was best to keep their nose out of Sirius Black and Kelpie Jones' unholy inclinations.

ϟ

"Have you tried it?" A blushing sixth-year Hufflepuff whispered to her friend on the table a few seats down from Kelsey at breakfast a few days later.

"Tried what?" her friend asked in wonder.

"The Hulk Smash."

"What's that?"

"Apparently it's when your boyfriend.." the rest of the sentence was hushed as the unnamed girl leaned in closer to whisper to her friend who turned red.

"How would one even do _that_?"

"Beats me. I heard Kinky Kelpie came up with it," the two girls looked in her direction and Kelsey shot daggers back at them. They silently returned to their breakfast.

Kelsey groaned into her cereal.

"Honestly, Kelsey. What has gotten into you these days?" Lily asked her. "And really Hulk Smash?" Kelsey was lucky that she had Lily, a fellow muggle-born, to explain to her friends the 70s nerd reference and the fact that Hulk Smash wasn't some Adult rated bedroom move. 

Like with many of her misfortunes at Hogwarts, she only had Sirius Won't-Leave-Me-Alone Black to thank for it.

"It wasn't me Lils! I'm telling you it was him and his stupidity!" she explained. Kelsey and Lily were back on talking terms after she had indeed successfully managed to talk Lily out of being cross with Potter. It was the least she could do for the handsome mint conditioned comic she had been gifted after painstaking blackmail.

"Him as in Sirius Black?" Astrid yawned. This was getting old now.

"Him as in SPAWN OF SATAN!" Kelsey cried pointing a finger at the three boys approaching them.

"Easy, Jones. What's gotten your panties in a bunch?" Sirius asked. Lily spluttered her drink, holding back a laugh.

"You guys are traitors! All of you!" Kelsey pinned Lily and Astrid with a glare and left the Gryffindor table.

"Evans, a word?" James took the seat Jones had just vacated. He sent her one of his best heartwarming smiles.

"Fine. But make it quick," Lily got up and started walking out of the Great Hall. James watched her figure walking, stunned. He had expected more resistance. "Today, James!" she called out without even turning around.

"She called me James!" he whispered excitedly to Astrid, Sirius, and Remus.

"Go!" Astrid ushered him.

James was off grinning like a fool at her heels.

"What do you think that's about?" Sirius said between chewing his food. Remus shrugged noncommittally, lips pressed into a thin line looking tense.

Astrid looked at him confused. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vote/Comment if ya liked!! 
> 
> Thoughts?


	22. Sparks Fly

Kelsey looked over her shoulder to make sure she was alone as she tickled the pear. It was 1 am and she had snuck out of the Common Room to grab a late-night bite. She had to admit that being close to kitchens was the best part of being a Hufflepuff.

All that DADA essay writing had her hand cramping. Professor Dustings was a little paranoid about students perfecting it better given the recent string of increasing attacks. Hence the essay overkill. It had been one month since they had moved on from the Patronus charms and she hadn’t managed anything beyond a solid shield like many other students even though they had moved on to other topics.

She entered the kitchen excited to find Hoppy her elf buddy who usually whipped up quick meals for her. Walking into the room, she started thinking of what she was in the mood for when she heard another presence.

“Will Master be requiring anything else?” she heard Hoppy ask.

“Blimey. Any more and I’d burst,” the person replied. As she came closer she saw Hoppy’s eyes brimming with tears suddenly. “No- er-- what I meant was: Great job Hoppy. I’ll be sure to tell my friends about this.” She saw Sirius Black sitting on the kitchen island on a tall stool, looking desperate to not offend the elf further.

“I see you’ve resorted to making House Elves cry now,” Kelsey spoke up finally, making herself known. He stopped mid-chew while Hoppy ran over to her gushing.

“Miss Jones, it’s been too long! What can Hoppy get you?”

“Got anything with chocolate in it?” she asked eagerly. With a delighted peep, the elf was off to fetch her something.

“I didn’t know other Houses knew about this,” she told him.

“They don’t. It’s just me and the boys usually.” Sirius watched her take a seat opposite him.

“How did you even get here without being seen?”

He sent her a secretive smile. “I have my ways.”

Kelsey hummed in response realising he probably had the cloak.

Hoppy came back a minute later with a plate full of baked chocolate goods. Gleefully, Kelsey took her pick and chose a chocolate-covered doughnut for herself and an eclair for Astrid.

“Chocolate really?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Whaf?” she said with her mouth full. “Fuckin’ miss these,” she muttered under her breath to herself.

He looked at her quizzically.

“The doughnuts. They don’t make them as good in the UK. When I was five there was this local bakery down my lane in New England where I lived. Best. Chocolate. Ever.” she said.

Sirius watched her as she stuck a tongue out to lick the last bit of frosting off her fingers. Unknowingly, he stared on until he felt his pants tighten slightly when she straight up sucked a finger.

_Was she doing this on purpose?_ He looked away, willing himself to calm down.

“You’re just like Moony,” Sirius said a while later. “He’s into chocolate. An unhealthy amount.”

“Don’t blame him. Thish ish heafun,” she moaned, taking a bite from the second doughnut. This time a bit of chocolate syrup dribbling down her chin as the doughnut oozed.

“Quite the moaner aren’t you Jones,” he commented. Perhaps talking would keep him distracted and hopefully stop that urge to lick it off her himself. No matter how much he had vowed to only talk to her for prank related matters, the pull was back.

“Oh, you’d know all about that?” she asked teasingly.

“Sure. I did just come back from a quite active snog session. Worked up an appetite if you know what I mean,” he winked at her.

Despite her feeling of disgust, Kelsey felt her heart plummet against her chest. What was his game?

“You’re a pig,” she scrunched her face.

“Just calling it as it is,” he shrugged.

She took another bite but held back a groan of pleasure this time, biting down on her lip.

“You can let it out. I know you want to,” he teased. Kelsey shook her head and ate in silence when

_“Oh baby, yes,”_ he faked in a low-pitched voice. He closed his eyes and distorted his face into a look of pleasure. _“Chocolate mmm yeah,”_ he continued.

She couldn't hold back and burst out giggling. Sirius joined her a few moments later.

“You’re such a dork,” she managed between breaths.

“Nah, the ladies love me,” he smirked and got up. “They call me Casanova,” he winked at her. For a moment Kelsey almost forgot how to respond. 

“Just calling it as it is,” she shrugged, mimicking his words.

“Touche, Jones. Touche.” And with that, he was out of the kitchen.

Later, back in bed, Kelsey stared at the ceiling hearing Black’s voice. Truth be told she didn’t know what was up with her. Part of the reason she had been awake was to distract herself from thoughts of Black that kept plaguing her only to find him in the kitchen. So much for clarity.

_Just like some karmic joke._ She turned to her side and slipped a hand under her head.

For six years, Sirius had always been there, in the corner lurking, getting on her nerves, being that person she could unleash on. As her eyes drooped, she remembered his face as he fake moaned and gulped. How many girls had he even been with?

Her eyes shot open just as she was on the verge of falling asleep.

She had her next plan.

Ϟ

“The announcement for the next Hogsmeade trip is up,” Astrid said and sat down next to Kelsey in the Great Hall.

“It is?” Kelsey replied absent-mindedly, writing away on the parchment in front of her.

“Mary and Marlene have dates though,” she mentioned. Kelsey stopped writing and looked up.

“Guess it’ll just be us three then.”

Astrid nodded and tried to take a peek at what Kelsey had been working on. But her friend hid it away from her prying eyes.

“Now, now. Be patient,” Kelsey chided. Astrid pouted.

“Is that your Muggle Studies essay?”

Kelsey snorted. “Please. If you must, prank number four of my ‘Getting Back at Black’ plan. But you’ll have to wait and see.”

“Lovely,” Astrid grabbed a muffin and bit into it.

At breakfast the following Monday, the four Marauders were sitting in their usual spot, chattering away as usual. An owl flew down to the and landed in front of Sirius Black who looked surprised. He never got mail. 

The owl dropped the letter and hooted at Black hinting at a tip. Sirius proceeded to search in his pockets for some knick-knack and handed the owl a small treat he found.

“Who’s that from?” Wormtail asked him.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” Sirius said while proceeding to rip it open. Suddenly, the letter snatched itself away from his hands in mid-air.

“Uh-oh,” said James.

Remus eyes widened, “Is that a-”

_“Hey Lover Boy” A sultry-woman’s voice echoed loudly._

Students around them stopped eating. 

_“You know..ever since our last time, I haven’t been able to stop imagining you babe. I can still feel your hands on my..”_ a few students near them choked on their food including Mary, Marlene and Lily who were sitting a few seats down. Lily was sending disgusted looks in their general direction while Mary and Marlene giggled, a little pink at the mystery woman's expressive vocabulary.

_“...Tonight..in my dorms, I’ll be thinking of you - oh - oh - OH!”_ The screams of a woman clearing pleasing herself while recording the Howler was unmistakable. The letter even quivered to match the ending. But that wasn’t the end of it.

_“See you in my dreams, ex-oh-ex-oh.”_ The voice finally faded away as the adult-themed howler ripped itself up into shreds.

Sirius was stunned into stillness. He was still staring at the space in front of him where the Howler had just been. In front of him, Prongs and Moony were looking at him just as red-faced no doubt embarrassed about the contents. He could hear the sounds of giggles and whispers around him.

All at once, most of the students around him broke out into laughter while a few older students hurried to rush younger students out.

“Mister Black!” he turned to see McGonagall storming over, clutching her robes red in the face.

“What in the name of Merlin was that?”

“I-I have no clue,” he croaked.

“Probably a really pleased lady, Professor,” Prongs snorted.

“Boy, she sure sounded like a Howler,” Moony punned, drawing a shocked gasp from McGonagall. Her star student?!

“You should be focusing on your NEWTs! One more event and I shall have you in detention every evening forcibly working on homework. And while this might not be proof of you consorting with the fairer sex Mister Black, next time, there shall be no second warning.” She was now red in the face. She disappeared away.

“Off to class now! All of you,” she looked around at the bunch of seventh years. Sirius too got up dazed and started making his way out the hall with his friends around him.

“Padfoot, why didn’t you tell us you shagged a bird?” Wormtail asked hushed.

“That’s the thing boys.” Sirisu looked at them. “I haven’t.”

“There’s this broom closet by the abandoned fourth-floor classrooms. If you sneak in and wait at 10pm, he shows up.” Sirius heard Kelsey talking in hushed tones to the same Hufflepuff girl who had been gossiping about the Hulk Smash with her friend a few days ago.

“You think?” the unknown girl asked, looking hopeful.

“Trust me, he doesn’t just know the Hulk Smash - _he_ came up with it. Be sure to pass it along,” Kelsey lied through her teeth, falsely pimping out Sirius Black.

The corners of her lips were tugging to stretch into a smile. Anyone who didn't know her, like the Gryffindor she was talking to, wouldn’t see it. 

But Sirius Black did. He saw _everything_.

“You!” Sirius yelled out, eyeing down Jones who stopped mid-sentence and slowly turned to look at him.

Without a word, she slipped through the throng of students exiting the hall and made a break. But not before Sirius was already on her heels. Kelsey ran, his shouts trailing behind her as she tried to think of where to hide. 

The Howler had gone better than expected. All she had to do was ask to borrow Lily’s Video Tape Player and hunt down a few muggleborn boys at Hogwarts for their hidden porn stash. The rest had been put together through voice charms that she happily reviewed after penning down the words on parchment.

“You better start repenting your sins Jones because once I catch you..” his voice boomed down the hall just as she turned a corner. The hallway was deserted.

A hand reached out, grabbed her upper arm and pulled. She found herself pushed up against a wall with Black’s face inches from her.

“You!” he breathed

“Me?” she said innocently.

“How did you even?” he asked her.

“Surprised?” she smirked cockily.

He stared into her eyes that were lit up watching her take heavy breaths. She parted her lips as she too stared back at him, taking in his spicy cologne as a few strands of his locks fell on his face. One hand held on to her arm while the other was placed flat against the wall, trapping her in.

He leaned lower instinctively as she licked her lips. Boy was she parched from the marathon.

“Bloody hell Kelpie.” He was half impressed and half turned on. And that confused him further.

“You only have yourself to thank for that idea Padfoot,” she said.

He looked at her funny as if he couldn’t understand what she meant.

_“Ooh baby yeah,”_ she closed her eyes and moaned his words from their Friday night kitchen meeting.

When she opened her eyes, he was looking at her with a pained expression, his breathing staggered. Her own face felt flushed under scrutiny.

Suddenly, he pushed himself away and walked off silently.

“So much for making me pay,” she called out, her voice a little as she tried to understand what that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please do vote/comment if you liked it!! It lets me know y'all are enjoying it :)


	23. Enchanted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: This has literally been my favorite chapter so far to write! Also it’s named after my favorite T.S. song and for reasons you'll see upon reading :3
> 
> OMG Age of Ultron was on tv today, and I couldn't unsee Quicksilver as James Potter - I just couldn't.

On the Friday after the Howler incident, Kelsey settled herself in the Potions class. Astrid, Lily, and Mary were at the table with her. Students were slowly filling in.

A rumble of laughter made her look for the noise source. She saw Lupin, Potter, and _him_ walk in. He avoided looking at her deliberately and made a beeline for the seat next to Dorcas. It was obvious to anyone observing him and her.

Sirius was back to being hot and cold with her. Should she go and say something? Before she could make up her mind either way, Slughorn entered and started the class.

“Amortentia,” Slughorn began. Immediately, all students had their attention on the burly professor. “Can at best imitate the powerful feeling of love but never, never,” he passed around a stern look, “..replicate it in its purest form. Can anyone tell me what it smells like?”

Lily’s hand shot up.

“Miss Evans, please.”

“It smells differently for each person depending on what attracts them the most,” she quickly looked at Potter who was staring at her, resting his head on his hand and looking at her dreamily.

Kelsey felt a pang of jealousy. No one had ever looked at her like that. Here she was pathetically vying for Black’s attention for a reason that baffled her. It reminded her of when she would try to find stupid reasons to talk to Benji back in the day. But surely this wasn’t the same?

Slughorn instructed them to the relevant page in their textbook and they began with the preparations. She sneaked a glance at Dorcas leaning over to whisper something in Sirius’ ear and he sent her his signature charming smirk.

Would they smell each other?

Not that she cared, she was more interested in finding out what attracted her. Narrowing her eyes, she slammed the Potions book on the table in front of her and opened it to the relevant page to begin.

“I think I can smell something,” Astrid whispered excitedly, halfway in. Forty minutes of Potion-making later, Kelsey too was starting to get an initial whiff too but she couldn’t put her finger on it.

Across the room, Sirius looked at Jones scrunching her face in confusion but he looked away before their eyes met. Next to him, Dorcas kept brushing against him coyly, reminding him of their hot and impending closet session. It had been a while since he had made his way back to his long-time snogging partner.

“What do you think you’ll smell?” he heard her whisper in his ear, trying to sound husky. He shrugged.

“ _‘Prolly_ something Quidditch related, maybe the generic scent of the girls’ dorm. You know how much I love the ladies,” he winked at her. Next to them Prongs and Moony were done and had summoned Slughorn over. It wasn’t surprising. After all, James’ father was Fleamont Potter, master Potioneer and inventor of the Sleakeezy formula. Prongs was tied for the top student position in the class with Evans.

“Potter _m’boy_ , done already I see,” Slughorn exclaimed, stopping at their table. “Come on now, smell it. We’ll know if it works only if you two smell different things - or dare I say the same? Oh dear, that would be quite the love triangle,” the older man chuckled.

Next to Kelsey, Lily and Mary stopped to look at Potter while she continued to add her finishing touches.

Lily watched curiously a little scared. What was she afraid of? The fact that perhaps his infatuation with her was just that - an obsession? The thought made her feel off.

“I smell,” Potter leaned over and closed his eyes. “The Quidditch field, parchment and...the library?!” he said the last bit out in surprise.

Kelsey giggled at the revelation. “No surprise there,” she nudged Lily who blushed. The number of times they heard Lily complaining that Potter was in the _library_ again distracting her only for them to find out he would quietly be doing his own work.

Sirius and Dorcas rushed to finish theirs as well.

 _Couldn’t hurt to smell_ , Sirius thought as he looked at Remus take a whiff and put a name to his Amortentia. Like Prongs, Sirius closed his eyes and inhaled. It was pleasant..mostly: The dingy scent of a broom closet, oranges, and musty old inky paper?

 _What even smelled like that_ \- his thoughts landed on the heavily coloured comic books Jones was always reading with worn pages. As if surprised he inhaled sharply again, choking on the fumes making Dorcas thump his back in worry.

“Professor,” Dorcas called out. She thumped him again, shoving his face closer to the potion. Sirius got another whiff. Oranges. Memories of their first day at Hogwarts where Jones had hit him in the back of his head and flipped him the finger. He also recalled it as her shampoo from a few days ago when he had her cornered in the corridor.

No, it can’t be. Sirius was certain that he had been enchanted.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” he wheezed.

“Oh dear, best be off to the Hospital Wing-” Sirius was out of his seat and rushing out the door before Slughorn finished his sentence.

Ϟ

Kelsey watched in distress as Sirius rushed out of the class.

“Do you think I should go? We had plans..” she heard Dorcas ask Remus who shook his head in a no. She scoffed and turned her attention back to her own potion. It seems that he had enough people worrying about him. He’d be fine.

“What do you smell?” Kelsey asked Astrid who just blushed in response without revealing anything. With a sigh, she decided to find out hers. The scent was stronger now. She focused on trying to pin it: chocolate, some odd cologne - she couldn't place where she had smelt it - and wet dog? The last bit threw her off. She shuddered just as the class ended and bottled it up for labeling.

As she approached Sughorn’s desk to place her vial for assessment, Lily passed her by looking lost in thought.

Kelsey grabbed her by the upper arm. “Hey, you good?” she stopped her.

Lily mumbled something under her breath.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that,” Kelsey replied.

“Books, hair gel and Quidditch supplies! There! Happy?!” Lily exclaimed and stormed over to their table. She grabbed her belongings and rushed out, red in the face.

“Did she just-?” Potter sounded stunned.

“Come on. Padfoot must be waiting,” Lupin dragged Potter out the door.

“Do you think we should go too?” Astrid wondered as they too exited the class now, watching the boys break into a sprint.

“Well, _I_ , for one am,” Dorcas announced out of nowhere passing them by.

“Hear that Tatty? She’s got it covered,” Kelsey grunted. She made for the other way but Astrid stopped her with a look. Complaining under her breath she joined Astrid as they followed Dorcas and the boys.

Ϟ

Ten minutes after rushing out of the class, Sirius found himself dramatically throwing open the doors to the Wing.

“Help!” he dramatically clutched his chest.

Poppy exited her office at the back to see the boy rushing over with concern on her face.

“What happened?” she asked, sitting down next to him as he threw himself on an empty bed. He looked physically fine, unlike the other times he’d show up.

“I’ve been poisoned! Bewitched! Cursed!” he cried.

“Excuse me?” she looked shocked. With a frustrated groan, he started unbuttoning his shirt muttering _‘I’m sure you’ll find the symptoms lurking’_ under his breath.

“Please stop!” she physically restrained him. “Now,” she eyed him calmly. “Tell me what’s wrong?”

“I don’t feel good,” he began.

“Mister Black I can’t help you if you don't elaborate.”

“My heart- i-it hurts when I’m near her! It does this thumping thing and I’m sure I’ll be getting a heart attack anytime now. She’s had it out for me this year. And then she smiles at me and it bursts. My stomach feels funny too! I just _know_ that she is poisoning my food. To top it off, I am convinced she is messing with my school work too- I smelled her during Potions! She-she’s a _witch_!” he gushed on.

Uncharacteristically, the nurse threw her head back and laughed. Sirius was stupefied. He could actually see tears streaming down her faces and it didn’t look like it would be stopping anytime soon. He was about to demand her to show more concern when the sound of running footsteps interrupted them.

“Padfoot!”

James and Remus came running up to him, panicked.

“Oh good, you’re here. Mister Potter, please take your friend. He’s fine,” Madame Pomfrey waved her hand to dismiss Sirius.

“And Mister Black, you may not be poisoned, but it seems that you may have caught a bug,” she smiled sweetly.

“A bug?” Remus asked. “Shouldn't you give him something?”

“No need to worry, Mister Lupin. I’m sure he’ll be fine soon enough.” She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye and made her way back into the office.

“Place has gone to the dogs,” Sirius grumbled as he stormed out of the infirmary. He was embarrassed and he still felt off.

Remus watched Prongs run after Sirius again. The two were thick like brothers, no doubt he was truly concerned. He stuck behind for a few moments before knocking on Poppy’s door again.

“Come in.” Remus entered.

“By bug you meant..” he began.

“The love bug Mister Lupin. It happens to the best of us. I’m afraid there’s no magical or muggle remedy. Do you know who he might have been talking about? He kept saying _her_ ,” she gave him a kind smile.

The boy smiled and nodded. Of course he knew. They _all_ knew. Apparently, except, the two that mattered the most.

He cleared his throat. “About the 25th - I er, if I could have some pain tonics,” he asked her softly. The nurse nodded with a sad expression. The full moon was right after the Hogsmeade trip.

Ϟ

“What was that about?” Potter caught up to Sirius. He grunted a _No_ in response.

“Sirius _babe_ , there you are,” a voice called out. They saw Dorcas strutting over. They could make out Astrid and Jones behind her arguing in hushed tones. Sirius felt himself getting warm again and his stomach felt uneasy. He needed to get away from _her_ before she did something else to him.

The three girls came closer with Dorcas immediately fussing over him.

“Don’t worry. I have a few ideas that will make you feel good right away,” she cooed into his ear, making him grimace a little.

He heard a snort. He didn’t even need to look and see who it was. He just knew. Turning his gaze Jones was looking at him

“Something to say Kelpie?” he challenged her

“Yeah. Got any boo-boos that need kissing,” she laughed and elbowed Astrid who didn’t find it funny.

With a satisfied smile, he replied, “‘Course. But don’t worry. Meadowes here has it covered. She’ll take care of it _real_ good.” He started leading Dorcas away by hand a little roughly. “Maybe next time though.”

“Oi Padfoot, we still have class!” Prongs called after him.

“Have Moony take notes would you? My boo-boos need fixing,” he said and flashed them a grin. He didn’t bother waiting for their reactions.

Eyeing the closest broom closet a few corridors away, he threw it open and charged in with Dorcas fawning over him. In the small space, she stood really close. He could feel her chest practically pressed up against his. She toyed with his tie, twirling it in his hands, and smacked her lips in anticipation.

“Don’t,” he snatched it away from her a little harshly, remembering how Jones’ hands felt on his tie. Dorcas’ face faltered.

 _What was wrong with him?_ Suddenly, he turned them around with her against the wall and he gave her a wolfish smile.

“Sorry ‘bout that, love,” he murmured. He closed his eyes and brought his lips down upon hers. She responded by wrapping hers around his neck and pulling him closer. She moved to suck on his neck as he fisted her hair in concentration. 

His eyes were tightly shut and his breathing got ragged. He could just imagine it..

“Blimey, Jones..” he moaned softly.

The kissing stopped and seconds later he felt the sharp sting of a slap on his face.

Maybe he really did need some fixing. 

Groaning in pain, he watched Dorcas storm out of the closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please Vote/Comment if ya liked it!! 
> 
> And thank you for all the kind words on the previous chapter. I'm glad you guys are enjoying the build-up (which is soon to end, I promise!!)
> 
> Do you guys have a favorite Tay Swift song?


	24. Jump Then Fall

"It's obvious isn't it?!" Astrid exclaimed.

"It is?" Remus wondered. Unlike Padfoot, he was a little lost on these matters. With a smile, she leaned in to whisper.

Astrid had cornered him after classes had ended to come up with a plan to get Sirius and Jones talking - or even fighting. Anything was better than Astrid having to listen to Kelsey whine about how Sirius could ignore her for all she cared.

"And you're sure that will work?" he sounded unsure. 

Astrid nodded eagerly and thought about something else. "Will you be alright though?" she asked. "So close to the full moon, I mean.."

Remus wiped his hand over his face and took a seat. Astrid followed. 

A few days after the Prongs had told him that Kelsey had found out about the cloak, Remus had confronted her and come clean about his condition. Rather than run away she had hugged him tightly before stammering and running away embarrassed again. 

Remus could smell a hint of forest and wild daisies. Just like his own Amortentia. Luckily he had to stop from announcing it in class thanks to the Sirius incident.

"It'll be fine." He sent her a small smile. She held his hand in comfort.

Ϟ

"Hey, Sirius," Astrid sang as Remus walked over with his mate on that Friday morning. This was Phase 1 of her plan. Watching Kelsey plot her 'not-so-obsessive' revenge on Black had taught her a few tricks.

"Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" she asked sweetly, looking up at him through her eyelashes.

Kelsey almost got whiplash from the speed at which she watched Sirius fumble for words before nodding awkwardly.

"You two should come too!" Astrid offered, shifting between Kelsey and Remus. "Ooh - it'll be like a double date. I know Lily is off with James-"

"She is?!" Kelsey exclaimed. How had that happened? The last time she checked, pigs weren't flying yet. 

Kelsey looked funny at Astrid hoping their best-friend telepathy worked:

 _I thought you liked Remus?_ Kelsey thought.

 _Just come with us on the date would you,_ Astrid silently conveyed. Kelsey saw Sirius give Astrid a weird look as well. There were a lot of looks going around.

Astrid nodded giving Remus a look. He coughed and began. "I mean- yes, I'm up for it if you are. I could always fill up on more Honeydukes," he offered.

"Now that you say it, I could do with that too," Kelsey suddenly beamed at him. "You know the funniest thing happened that day. I smelled chocolates in my Amortentia," she said. 

Sirius frowned at that revelation.

"Is that all?" Remus asked.

Sirius watched from the corner of his eye as Kelsey sent Lupin a shy smile. He saw the tip of her ears get a little pink and she mumbled something.

"I'm sorry?" Remus asked.

"I couldn't place the other two," she said.

"I bet," Remus winked at her mischievously highlighting her embarrassment even more.

Sirius scoffed next to them.

"What was that Pads?" he asked straight-faced.

"I said: save some flirting for your date would you," he spat. 

"Don't mind if I do," Remus coolly replied, which only got on his nerves more.

Ϟ

Kelsey slapped both her cheeks at breakfast the next morning to alert herself.

It was still early for a Saturday and students were still filling in for breakfast excitedly talking about the second Hogsmeade trip of the year. She saw Sirius Black sitting alone at the Gryffindor table glaring at the food on his plate in silence. Looks like she wasn't the only one feeling nervous.

She didn't even know how she had been pulled into this. Surely she would have noticed Astrid gushing over Black in secret. The thought alone sent a wave of guilt through her on top of the fact that she was supposed to be Remus' date. 

She only agreed because she didn't want to leave Black alone with Astrid. She didn't trust him. Astrid was too good for him.

"Okay rule number 1," Kelsey sat down in the empty seat next to Black.

"No touching her." 

He gave her a confused look. 

"I mean it Black. If I get even a hint of you trying to grope her, I will personally hex your family jewels."

"Jealous much?" His sour mood was gone, feeling lighter at the thought.

"Rule number 2: No kissing.."

"What? Why?!"

 _Because she likes Remus, you dolt!_ Of course, Kelsey didn't reveal that. She had matured from the _Daddy_ incident. 

She also had no idea what Astrid was up to with this whole double-date. But if her best friend wanted a date with the boy, Kelsey would make sure it was the best date she had. Even if sent a pang of dread through her.

"Because Astrid is a precious soul who must be protected and I literally saw you drag Dorcas into a broom closet this week.."

An unreadable expression fell over his face but she moved on. "Plus I don't want her catching whatever you have. We share a dorm."

"And number 3-"

"There's more?" Sirius was starting to reconsider this double date. He'd only agreed after he saw Jones almost break her neck and glare at him when Astrid had asked him out. Getting on Jones' nerves was his favorite past time. He still needed to find a when and where to let Astrid down gently though. 

"If you make her cry or so help me Helg-"

"There you are!" Astrid walked up to them. "Kels why'd you get up so quick. You rushed out before I even finished getting ready."

"Oh just laying down some ground rules with lover boy here. To make sure he behaves if he wants to keep all his appendages come sunset," she sent him a warning look. 

Instead of acting shy, Astrid was simply amused. Kelsey didn't understand it. Astrid always got shy and stammer-y near her crushes.

"Morning ladies. Looking lovely, as usual," Remus had arrived and started piling food on his plate. Kelsey noticed the bags under his eyes. He looked stretched thin. She almost felt bad for agreeing to go on this date just to keep tabs on Black.

Remus smiled at the girls, stopping at Astrid for a little too long. Astrid noticed and turned her face away to hide a blush.

 _Shy - just like that!_ Kelsey narrowed her eyes at her friend.

After breakfast, they walked towards the main gate with Sirius and Astrid lagging a little behind. Sirius tugged his leather jacket a little closer as the chilly November breeze blew. 

Ahead of them, Kelsey, in her red dress, smoothened it down a little feeling cold, and pulled her thick cardigan closer. He noticed that she had tied her hair up for the day as opposed to when she left it in curls. He had also noticed a slight touch of makeup on her eyes. Why was she putting in so much effort? It was just Moony. 

As they climbed into a carriage Sirius beelined to enter second after Kelsey. Much to her annoyance, he made himself cosy in the seat next to hers.

"Do you mind?" she said rudely, eyeing the empty ones opposite them.

"Why, yes I do," he was pleased when Remus had to sit next to Astrid.

"Sirius, _behave_ ," his friend drawled. With a shrug, Sirius looked out the small window as the carriage lurched forward towards the town.

Ϟ

"She smelled chocolate," Sirius muttered to Astrid. They were walking around Honeydukes stuffing their baskets with small sweets.

"I know," Astrid said with a grin. She watched Sirius narrow his eyes at the couple from a distance.

"Moony loves chocolate," Sirius was watching Remus and Jones argue over which type of Cauldron Cake was better. The discussion was getting a little intense as Jones dragged Remus to a different aisle. Astrid's own gaze wavered for a second when she saw Kelsey casually grab Remus by the hand.

Pushing himself off the wall of the store, Sirius strode over to where they had disappeared. 

Sirius Black hated being left out of things. He arrived just in time to see Remus hold out a new line of chocolates the store offered which Jones excitedly grabbed and munched into.

"OH _Good_ ," she closed her eyes and moaned. "This stuff is like the opposite of Kryptonite. It gives me life," she said.

"What's that?"Remus looked confused.

"Like from Superman.." she started but was only met with more confusion.

"The buff bloke from her muggle books, Moony," Sirius piped up happily, for some reason feeling the need to please her with that information. She hadn't looked at him since getting off the carriage. He was losing patience. He forgot that he had Astrid right beside to whom he should have been paying attention.

She was shocked, her mouth left hanging open at the revelation that Sirius Black paid enough attention to her muggle stuff. 

Sirius had observed her around the school with that particular issue around ever since Prongs had been threatened into buying it for her. He clicked his tongue.

A while after stocking up on Honeydukes, the four were walking to the Three Broomsticks. Kelsey found herself remembering her last experience at the joint. But she wasn't going to give in and give him the satisfaction of her attention. 

He had been getting on her nerves the entire day. He was currently busy retelling a Marauders story from fourth year when Astrid suddenly squealed in delight and double over in laughter coming to a stop in the middle of the street. 

"NOO!!!" she cried.

"Yeah," Sirius grinned at her, happy that someone found his story hilarious while Remus walked along with a small smile recalling that day.

They saw the newspaper that was lying on the empty table at The Three Broomsticks as they went to settle down.

"That's messed up," Kelsey grumbled picking it up.

 _'Whinging attack: 4 muggle-borns in critical condition at Mungos and 2 werewolves dead'_ read the headline.

She made a disgusted sound.

Opposite her, Remus paled. She missed the look that Sirius and Astrid shared as they carefully gauged Moony's reaction.

"I heard _he's_ started infiltrating the Ministry," Astrid said, leaning over. "His followers are everywhere."

"Including Hogwarts," Sirius mentioned. Kelsey shared a dark look with him thinking back to the Slytherins who had cornered her. She suddenly felt nauseous. Sure she had planned to join the Muggle relations department after graduation. The question was: Would there even be one come August?

"Like - look at this!" she gestured at the gruesome images of the dead werewolves on the front page. "That's barbaric. To think people would do such a thing!"

"So the thought of werewolves in society doesn't appall you?" Remus brought up.

"They're still people aren't they?" Kelsey said, doing a swift read of the article. "From what I've read in books, I mean other than the 'monthlies' - it's almost like us girls on our periods.." Remus choked on his Butterbeer as it ran down the wrong pipe. No one in his twelve years had described it that way.

"..it's kind of the same: Temperamental mood swings, looking like a downright mess, chocolate cravings, occasional blood..The only difference is it happens near the full..." she stopped talking.

With a gasp, she shot out of her chair and stumbled a few steps back. Everyone looked at her in shock. Through tunnel vision, she gaped at Remus while Sirius and Astrid now started to panic.

"You!" She pointed at him. "Moony," she rasped his nickname. 

The manner in which Remus' eyes widened in fright confirmed her theory. Her brain was still processing the new information when she felt someone move behind her all of a sudden.

"Sorry Jones," the whisper was gruff and low.

"Sirius no!" In front of her, she saw Remus lunging in her direction in alarm.

She felt the tip of a wand on her neck and the whisper of a soft _Stupefy_ that knocked her out gently.

She fell limp in Sirius Black's arms, asleep to the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please do consider Voting/commenting if you're enjoying the story! 
> 
> Can I just say, I'm loving (and lol-ing hard) reading all your comments!


	25. epiphany

"I can't believe you did that Padfoot. That was really reckless even for you!" Kelsey heard a familiar voice seethe.

_Wait. Where was she?_

The first thing Kelsey felt was the cold, hard ground. Her back hurt and she had no choice but to slowly open her eyes. She was on the floor of some old dilapidated room. Glancing around, she spotted Sirius, Astrid and Remus arguing in hushed tones.

Right, she had been knocked out. The last thing she remembered was Remus' panic-stricken face as he tried to reach out to save her back at the Three Broomsticks. 

That got her blood boiling again. How dare they?!

She propped herself up on her elbows and cleared her throat. Astrid immediately rushed over.

"Kelsey! Thank Merlin!" she started fussing over her. Still angry, Kelsey swatted her friend's attention away. Astrid's face dropped a little but she stuck to where she was without budging.

"What the fuck guys?" she accused.

"Sorry 'bout that Jones," Sirius was the first one to speak. "Had to make sure you wouldn't throw a fuss," he shrugged. He sent a half-sorry look her way but she continued to glare daggers at him.

"A fuss? A fuss?!" Kelsey got up and dusted off her dress. " _You_ assaulted and kidnapped me!" If looks could kill Sirius Black would be ten feet under. More than angry, Kelsey was hurt. Why was she the only one who had been shocked at the revelation?

"I agree," Remus stepped forward cautiously. Kelsey stiffened taking in his presence. "That _was_ unnecessary. You know how he can get. I'm really sorry you had to find out this way If it helps both Astrid and I weren't happy." The werewolf looked even more guilty and tired than he had at the beginning of the day.

Kelsey felt almost sorry. "Right you and Astrid," she spat her friend's name. So I'm the only idiot who didn't know this whole time?" she scoffed.

"Kelsey.." Astrid began in a pleading tone, begging her friend to look at her but she stayed fixated between Remus and Sirius.

"Fine," Kelsey crossed her arms. "But _he_ needs to apologise," she threw Sirius a look. Remus nudged Sirius. He cleared his throat.

"Right..erm. Sorry about that once again Jones," he sent her a. "Although you did make a neat sight swooning in my arms," he joked but Remus shook his head.

Next to Kelsey, Astrid was nervously shifting on the spot.

"So you're a werewolf.." she eyed Remus.

He let out a tired sigh. "I'm a werewolf."

Remus motioned for her to sit down on the bed in the corner of the room and she did. He took a seat next to her while the other two watched. He explained everything to her. Right from being bit at a young age to how his friends found out to how they became animagi for him.

Kelsey was still in disbelief.

"I'm _like_ really offended by how low you three thought of me," she continued glaring at Astrid primarily.

"It wasn't our secret to tel-" Astrid began but Sirius cut her off.

"Please. If you were half as smart as Evans, you would have figured it out ages ago," he scoffed.

"Evans knew?!" Still trying to process everything she got up and started pacing the room. "I can't believe I didn't see it," she muttered under her breath. Sirius was right.

"So all those times, I saw you looking like the walking dead..with bags under your eyes..that dried blood on your chin!" she cried. Remus nodded with a sad smile.

Kelsey's heart hurt. She took in her friend: Star student with a mischievous glint; the brains behind the four. He was always there for his friends, getting them out of trouble. In the last few months, she had started seeing him as a close friend too but now she felt ashamed.

Holding back a rising sob she rushed over to him in a single stride and threw her arms around him.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, holding him tightly. Not knowing how to respond Remus patted her back lightly, holding on for a split second.

"It's okay, I'm fine," he whispered back. She pulled back halfway to give him a look before he added, "..mostly that is. I got the boys". That brought out a chuckle from her.

Sirius watched the scene as his best mate and Jones held on to each other a little too long for his liking. His left hand unconsciously clenched into a fist. On top of the guilt he felt for stunning Jones, this was only adding on to the gut-wrenching feeling in his stomach. He cleared his throat loudly and gave Moony a deadpan stare. With a chuckle, he let go.

"So we're alright?" Remus asked once more to clarify. She swatted him back on the arm playfully.

"'Course _Moony,_ " she laughed, brightening up. Sirius felt a little sick.

They all decided to start making their way back to the castle through the connected tunnel of what she learned was the Shrieking Shack to save time. Kelsey grabbed her small purse that was lying on the floor and followed the group towards the exit.

"So all this while, you've been helping him..as a dog?" she asked Sirius who puffed up his chest a little and nodded. Her view of him changed a little that day. But she wouldn't tell him that. Not yet.

"That's like really dope of you," she said matter-of-factly before scowling. "But don't think this means I forgive you." She huffed and shuffled forward also ignoring Astrid to who tried to get in a word.

"It'll be fine. She'll come around," Remus held Astrid's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. 

Blushing a little, Astrid looked at him. "You think?"

"You forgave her for that other erm- prank," Remus said a little pink in the ears. "She'll come around. I'm sure."

Astrid watched Kelsey give Sirius the stink eye as he chased after her down the tunnel leading back to Hogwarts. This wasn't how she had expected the fake double date to end.

"Remus, are you coming?" Kelsey looked back with a smile at him. Remus bit back a smile and hesitated for a moment.

"It's okay. Go on. We still have the final part of our plan to carry out," Astrid whispered to him, and she nudged him forward.

Standing a little taller, Remus let go of Astrid's hand and joined Jones, deliberately throwing an arm around her shoulder and leading her down the tunnel. For the final nail in the coffin, Remus drew her closer and whispered something in her ear making her squeal and giggle.

"Let's go, Sirius," Astrid physically ushered him behind them so that he wasn't left burning holes into his friend's back.

ϟ

 _"Remus, are you coming?"_ Sirius mimicked in a girly voice. James held back an amused grin watching the result of a jealous Padfoot. All four boys were back in their dorms.

"Padfoot," Remus said in a warning tone rolling his eyes at James.

"Why? Got your fill of the lady loves today have you? That quite the shuffling between Astrid and Jones," Sirius mocked. "I wonder how you keep up."

This prompted James to raise an eyebrow silently at Remus who just mouthed ' _Later'_.

"What has gotten into you these past few weeks Padfoot? First Prongs and now me?" 

The werewolf stood up suddenly. He knew full well what was up. In fact, Astrid and he had planned for this exact scenario.

"Do you like her?" Sirius got straight to the point.

"It's not any of your business, is it?" Remus smiled secretively, purposely egging him on.

"It is!" Sirius shot back.

"Oh? And why would that be?"

Wormtail and Prongs were moving their attention between the two like watching the court during muggle tennis.

"BECAUSE!!" Sirius suddenly took a few steps forward, almost bumping into Moony's chest on purpose, his chest squared too. He was trying to size him up. 

He pictured Remus with his arm thrown around _her_ shoulders. He pictured Prongs under her, while she squealed carefreely. He pictured his own lips on her two years ago: the moment he had been trying to recreate with countless other girls. He pictured every moment of satisfaction he got from sticking it up to Benjamin Macdonald. 

And lastly, he pictured them together one day: he would tug her into him roughly and she'd spout something feisty. Then he'd smirk and kiss her and she would melt into him. That's how he imagined their next kiss. He couldn't wait.

It all had to do with her.

"Because.." Sirius croaked. "..I think I like her." Just as Sirius said it out loud, he plopped down on a bed with his head in his hands.

How in the name of Godric had _that_ happened?

All at once, his three friends burst into laughter.

"Prongs you owe me ten knuts," Remus said smugly, putting forward his hand.

"Bugger. I thought he'd go on till after Christmas at this rate," James mumbled and opened his side drawer to shill out the money.

Sirius watched in shock before getting up so fast the blood rushed to his head.

"YOU ALL KNEW?!" he cried.

"Well, yeah. It was pretty obvious mate," Prongs shrugged.

"A blind person could see it," Wormtail added as an afterthought.

"And none of you thought to tell _me_ ," Sirius was offended. His friends continued to guffaw.

Wormtail fell back on his bed with a content sigh. "So now you can finally stop those pranks and tell her how you feel."

"What?! Never!" If anything Sirius was more determined than ever now. All he had to do was make her confess to him too.

"B-b-but Padfoot you have to!" Wormtail exclaimed. "Jones keeps looking at me in class and running a finger across her throat. I don't know what it means but I think it's a threat. I'm still on her shit-list!" The pudgy boy was really desperate.

Sirius chuckled. "Pfft. You'll be fine. I really think she would have done something by now if she had to."

"Yeah, Wormtail. Listen to him. He's a master in all things Kelpie related," James snickered.

"Nevermind that. She's still pretty mad at you," Remus reminded him.

"Don't worry I have just the plan," he fell back on his bed with a goofy grin. "Tell me boys..I think it's time the Marauders came back with a blast don't you think?" ****


	26. I Almost Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Possible choking hazard? Please don't eat/drink and read this chapter. 
> 
> Double update because I want AO3 to be synced with Wattpad updates
> 
> If you have a wattpad find me at mochacherie, we can hang there :)

"Psst, Lily." Astrid's whisper lured Lily Evans over to the Hufflepuff table before she could even sit at her own the following Tuesday morning. It was the week after the latest Hogsmeade trip - the last week of November.

"Astrid, hey," Lily sat down looking around for Kelsey whom she found sitting a few seats away making it a point to glare at them while furiously chewing her porridge. There was milk dribbling down Kelsey's chin but she didn't care.

Kelsey brought two fingers up to her eyes and pointed them back over at Lily and Astrid. ' _I'm watching you'_ she mouthed, accidentally spitting some stray oatmeal on the poor kid in front of her.

"Hey-" the boy in front of her went to protest but one look from Kelsey shot it down.

"Err- Are you okay Kels?" Lily asked a little loudly, appearing unsettled.

"Hell hath no fury, Evans," Kelsey replied venomously, squinting her eyes at the two of them. "Hell hath no fury." She shoved the last bit of breakfast in one huge spoon and jerked up suddenly.

Lily sighed sadly while they continued to watch their friend walk away without a word.

"She knows it wasn't our secret to tell, doesn't she?" Lily asked Astrid, unsure now.

"Yes, but you know how she is.."

"I can't believe you're _still_ defending her," Lily accused. "You spoil her too much!"

"I think she's just upset because she didn't realise it on her own like you. That and the fact that she thinks she wasn't deemed trustworthy enough." Astrid also thought there was some unresolved Sirius tension there but she didn't mention it.

"This isn't about _her_ ," Lily huffed. "Although spending the day with James wasn't as bad as I'd-" She paused when Kelsey came storming back abruptly.

Lily only truly agreed to that 'date' with Potter to keep an eye on Kelsey for Remus. But when Astrid came up with her own side-plan and _James_ offered to drop the fake date, she went ahead with it anyway.

A part of Lily always wondered: What would a date with James Potter look like? She hadn't been disappointed. Oddly enough, she only had Kelsey to thank for that. The very same Kelsey who was now avoiding her.

Out of nowhere, the sound of a firecracker bursting sounded and Astrid exclaimed, "Hufflin' Helga!! Lily, look!" she pointed up behind her. Kelsey too was staring at the space behind her, so Lily turned.

_'I'm very fawn-ed of you. Go out with me again?'_

Taking in the magical banner, Lily giggled unlike herself. She was supposed to be the proper one here! ****

"So? What do you say, eh Evans?" The cheery face of one James Potter brought her attention back to ground level. He looked at her expectedly. She gave a slight nod.

"And just for verbal confirmation..to tell the boys that I didn't imagine this part," he prodded shyly. "..that's a yes?"

Kelsey smiled to herself and made to grab her books. She brought the frown back before anyone noticed her slip-up.

"Yes, James," Lily rolled her eyes.

"I- um Potter?" Lily asked, suddenly worried as more letters appeared out of nowhere where the sign for her had just been.

"Yes, Evans?" he smiled and turned his attention to where hers was, not looking the least bit surprised. " _'Bout_ time," James mumbled.

At the Professors' table, Minerva McGonagall sighed in dismay as the fireworks burst forth into more letters. Just one. She would like just one breakfast without any pranks or mishaps or anything remotely chaotic. Next to her, Albus Dumbledore chuckled to himself and leaned forward with a curious glint in his eye as if to see what was coming next. McGonagall pursed her lips.

_"Did she really?" Students whispered._

_"I always knew she had that streak. It's a wonder she isn't in Slytherin."_

_"Not lying, I might take her up on it."_

Confused by the haughty, judgemental comments suddenly being thrown her way, Kelsey turned back to look at the bright bold letters that were displayed mid-air, bringing her curious gaze to where Potter, Lily and Astrid's were.

_'Do you have an arch-enemy? Are you looking to drown your next victim to get rid of without proof?_

_Contact Kelpie Jones today!_

_Hassle-free revenge - best served cold! Location: Black Lake. Fridays at Midnight only'_

Oh no he didn't! Kelsey was horrified! She scanned the Great Hall before spotting the tall-head of dark curls, a little further away, closer to the exit. He stood there, smiling smugly, wagging his eyebrows.

Kelpie or not, she was going to drown him in the lake for real this time. She started making her way towards him, pushing aside interested inquiries:

_"Hey, Jones, about that sign-"_

_"Midnight? Could I meet you earlier?"_

_"Do you know Chelsea Adams from Ravenclaw? She stole my boyfriend last month and-"_

She shot every single person down with one contemptuous look.

"Sirius Black you get back here right now!" She hissed but he was already gone along with Potter.

As students chatted away, gossiping about the contents that hadn't disappeared yet, several small round-shaped products rolled onto the great hall in several rows. There a blinding flash of light before someone shouted _'Dungbomb! Run!'_ and simultaneously they all released some mustard-coloured smoke.

It was chaos.

In the confusion of the dungbomb prank, students rushed out all at once. Sirius had slinked away a few moments before Kelsey could even unleash her wrath upon him. She was pretty sure she saw Remus and Pettigrew scampering away from Filch in the opposite direction as she left the hall.

It didn't matter anymore. Her current priority was getting as far away before the smell got into her clothes too or worse her hair. Running out of the hall in the sea of students, she could barely make out the direction she was heading in before she felt a firm grip on her upper arm.

What the-

She found herself being hauled away, only to find that the strong grip belonged to Sirius Black.

"Let me go!" Kelsey protested fiercely, trying to free herself. "What are you doing?!"

She was in no mood to talk to him or Evans (yes, it was _Evans_ to her now) or Astrid. The sight of him at breakfast had only fueled her ire on top of the beat that her heart had skipped. It had been building up for a few days now and watching him with Astrid last Saturday had triggered some unknown pit of emotions she had spent a few days mulling over.

Instead of replying, he gave her a cheeky grin and re-directed their route to an emptier corridor with lesser students.

"STRANGER DANGER!" Kelsey yelled as Sirius Black dragged her off. 

She was not going down without a fight. 

A few students hurried by, making a run from the dungbomb infested smoke that was now seeping out of the Great Hall. Instead of helping, they only sent them funny looks. 

That's what years of watching Kelpie Jones and Sirius Black did.

_"What do you reckon that's about?" someone whispered._

_"Just ignore them. It's probably 'nother one of their bedroom games."_

_"Ooh, saucy!"_

_"Well, they do call her Kinky Kelpie for a reason.."_

Sirius clicked his tongue. "You're a funny one, Keplie."

Kelsey made a mental note to memorise the faces of those three Ravenclaws to get back at them another day. But for now, she brought her attention back to Sirius. This close she could smell his cologne..the scent of the Amortentia came crashing back to her and she was convinced she was losing her mind.

She was not attracted to Sirius Black!

"I repeat- STRANGER DANGER!" she continued to which Sirius was finally forced to throw a hand over her mouth to shush her. Kelsey was too busy refuting her own internal monologue to do something she normally would have: like lick his hand.

"I'm a charmer of ladies, not some lecherou-"

"Everyone literally saw you dragging me here against my will. I think they get the picture," she huffed coming to her senses.

"A necessary evil to get you talking to me."

"Why do you even care?" she retorted. 

"Because.." he had a strange distant look on his face. "Because."

They finally stopped in a lesser occupied corridor and he gave her a once over. She looked a little dazed but mostly furious. His stomach did a nervous backflip.

What if she slapped him? It was a very Kelpie thing to do. He hadn't planned this far in.

"Where's a superhero when you need one," she grumbled, crossing her arms, refusing to meet his eyes. The corner of his lips twitched and he held back a smile.

"Fine. What is it? What do you want?" she asked sharply.

Sirius hesitated for a second. "Are you going to the Hufflepuff-Slytherin game this Saturday?"

"Yes." She watched him rub the back of his head before standing up a little straighter.

"Go to the game with me." He looked at her dead in the eye.

Kelsey was surprised at the flutter that went through her stomach.

_No! That's how he gets you by staring into your eyes with the stormy grey ones of his._

"A-Are you an idiot?" she responded instead hoping he wouldn't catch her stutter.

"What?!" That wasn't the response he had expected.

"I already told you I'm going. On. My. Own." What was his endgame?

"Look just go to the game with me would you-"

"And why would I do that?" Kelsey scoffed.

"Because I'm Sirius Black." Suddenly, he was unsure of himself. But he went on anyway, "In case you forgot there's loads of girls who would die to be in your place." 

The girl in front of him was as stubborn as she had been. He didn't think he would have to actually convince her.

"Then do it," Kelsey declared.

"Excuse me?" he asked incredulously.

"Ask them. I dare you to ask any girl out." she went on. "I don't trust your motives, Black." She jabbed his chest with a finger.

"You're impossible," he grumbled.

"Wow such a charmer," she said sarcastically.

"Fine. Go to the game or don't, I don't care!" He looked around behind them to the students passing by. "Oi, you!" He called out suddenly making another seventh-year Gryffindor stop in her tracks.

"Me?" She looked surprised.

"Go to the Hufflepuff-Slytherin game with me," he barked out a little harshly.

"Yes!" she rushed over. "A thousand times yes! Oh, this is just like I'd imagined it would go!"

Sirius' smile faltered. Blimey. He probably caught one of the crazies from his 'official' fan club.

He could feel Jones' smug gleam. Swallowing a lump in his throat, he nevertheless proceeded to fix a time and place to meet before the game with the girl. He'd show Jones what she was missing out on and shove his wooing skills in her face.

Kelsey held back a remark. The ease with which he had moved on hadn't surprised her. The sense of disappointment grew though. Had she for a moment hoped he had really asked her out?

This was just typical. Why wasn't she surprised? That gut-wrenching feeling was back. It was all a joke to him. She watched the Gryffindor skip along merrily after confirming the details of the meet-up that Saturday afternoon.

Sirius let out a laugh. "I mean. You actually thought that I was asking you out," he snickered as she continued making scoffing noises not bothering to hide her annoyance. "You could look a little less murderous you know?"

"Go to hell!" Kelsey let out a frustrated cry. "I knew you were messing with me! That's mean even for you." She played it off calmly but on the inside, it hurt.

Sirius saw the brief flicker of distress on her face and all of a sudden he wished that he had actually stuck to his guns. Unable to himself, he offered the only solution he knew.

"I could turn that frown into a smile," he took a few steps forward and backed her into the stone wall. "Just say the word, Jones," he smirked. She was close enough for him to feel that pang of longing again.

Kelsey's own heart thumped in her chest. It seemed to do that a lot recently with him around. She stared in awe at his chiselled features. She took in a shaky breath and looked at him standing in all his glory with that stupid grin on his face.

In his effort to be flawless and to continue to charm the wits off of Jones, he went to tug her close by the edge of her robes, to hold her in his arms in a swoon-worthy move. He had heard from Moony who had heard from Astrid that Jones was a sucker for muggle 'heroes' in movies.

Sirius was nothing if not a wooer of ladies. Even if he had temporarily failed to get Jones to go to the game with him.

In his haste, however, he accidentally grabbed onto something more squishy instead and he did the first thing that came naturally to him.

Kelsey gasped, absolutely red in the face when she felt Sirius Black squeeze her left tit on instinct. As a reflex, she slapped him.

"You-yo-you absolute pervert!" She shoved him off roughly, making him falter a few steps back in surprise. She turned away to run off but he stopped her by holding on to her hand. The contact sent a spark through her body, making her stop instantly.

"Bloody hell Jones, I didn't mean to-"

"Pervy McPerverson!" She pointed at him and yelled loudly, drawing wary looks from other students.

"Kelsey, please!" he pleaded. 

She missed his use of her name as he called out desperately but she pinned him down with a steely look that sent shivers through his spine. He would be sleeping with one eye open that night.

She started stalking away before pausing and turning back to yell at him some more.

"And just so we're clear: Next time you feel like dragging someone away for a quick up the shirt feel-me-up session, make sure it's a girl who _doesn't_ hate your guts," she shrieked.

Ϟ

"Can you _like_ believe him?!" Kelsey paced around their dorm room recounting the day's events while Astrid lay on her bed munching on snacks. Her anger at her best friend lay forgotten. She had much more important things to do.

Such as complaining about one Sirius Black.

"So let me clarify this.." Astrid took a bite of her crisp. "Sirius Black asked you out..and your response was to dare him to ask someone else?" That's it. Her friend was a lost cause. Astrid was sure of it.

"Well, _clearly_ he was only kidding. He said it so himself," Kelsey insisted, her voice choking a little at the memory.

"Plus, it's not like I even like him.."

"No. you just enjoy spending your free time dreaming of ways to make his life hell."

"And then he had the added audacity to entice me for a kiss!" Kelsey shrieked. Her hysteric voice was making its way back. She was reeling from the fact that she had almost given in until he had fondled her.

"He was flirting!"

"He wasn't. Flirting is what he does with birds he wants to snog-"

"Please," Astrid laughed. "You wouldn't know flirting if it hit you in the face-"

"Pfft, of course I would."

"- Or grabbed your tit," Astrid finished slyly to which Kelsey threw a pillow at her. 

"Anyways," Kelsey started distracted by a second line of thought. "Just, last week he was with you on that date. He's moved on a bit quickly don't you think?"

Astrid shrugged, not seeming upset. "It was just a friendly date. We cleared it up."

Kelsey grinned. "Have you thought about what I said?"

Astrid sighed. "Not again. I don't want any part of your '12 Ways to Woo a Marauding Werewolf' plan. I think your record with the _Daddy_ thing was sufficient." Astrid shuddered at the memory. It was a miracle that Remus tolerated her presence after Kelsey's craziness. "Besides, shouldn't you be focusing on your own issues?"

"Issues..being?"

"Sirius Black asking you out!"

"I think you mean Sirius Black fake asking me out and then grabbing my boob to cause further humiliation," she retorted bitterly. "I mean the guy clearly can't keep it in his pants."

Astrid couldn't hold herself back and burst out laughing. "Oh and just so you know. I invited the boys to sit with us during the game."

Kelsey groaned. Great. Just what she needed: Sirius Black trying to find his way into another girl's skirt. ****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyoo. Please consider tapping that kudos button to vote if you're enjoying the story!! 
> 
> Imp note: Starting next week, I'm cutting it down to two updates a week until the end of December because the chapters are getting longer and a little heavier like this 2700 word one. 


	27. The Moment I Knew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what - for good measure, I suggest once again that you don't eat or drink while reading this. Ngl, this was my next favorite to write after 'Enchanted'

“AND HUFFLEPUFF SCORES ONCE AGAIN!!” The commentator cheered and so did the crowd of students wrapped in Yellow and Black scarves around her. But Kelsey didn’t even bat an eye. She was transfixed on the disgusting giggling right next to her that had rendered her unable to focus.

“Eugh. That’s revolting,” Kelsey scorned at the couple next to her whispering sweet - or rather dirty nothings to each other. “Think I’m gonna be sick. Can they _like_ not?!” She huffed loud enough for everyone around her to hear.

“Got something to say, Jones?” Sirius finally turned his attention her way upon hearing that comment.

It was working. If someone asked him what the score was, he’d be lost. His sole purpose was to rile up Jones while pretending to charm the girl next to him who didn’t seem to be complaining. After all the effort he had gone through to secure the exact spot next to her for the game.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Don’t be surprised if I hurl my breakfast on you,” Jones gave a fake smile before showing the couple the finger.

The girl next to him, whose name Kelsey hadn’t bothered asking, paled. She scooted a little close to Black in hopes of protection.

“Don’t worry, _babe.._ ” Sirius emphasised the word and brought an arm around The Girl’s waist. Kelsey ignored the drop in her stomach.

“..Kelpie here is all bark, no bite,” he whispered in her ear. Everyone in a three feet radius caught that.

“Well, if it’s biting that you want..” The Girl smiled coyly and leaned in closer to Sirius. She proceeded to whisper something while Jones observed his reaction. The Girlthen lazily put her hand over his crotch and squeezed him. In front of everyone.

The crowd cheered again but all their friends were more invested in Sirius’ self-inflicted misgivings as an expression of pain and embarrassment appeared. .

“Ugh, get a room,” said Kelsey.

“But then I wouldn’t get the satisfaction of annoying you,” he pouted his lips.

“I’m with Jones on that, mate,” Potter piped up on The Girl’s other side. “It’s getting a bit much.”

“I’m surprised she could even find _it_ ,” Kelsey commented loudly, making Sirius turn redder. He was in the middle of trying to pry his date’s hand off his crotch. Blimey, the girl had a strong grip. He was starting to regret this.

“Jealous?” Sirius managed to speak just as he undid her grip.

Kelsey felt sick. And not the throwing up kind. It was the ‘stab your heart and rip it out’ kind. She realised that she was in trouble as she hoped for a moment that it was her that his arm had been wrapped around.

As she saw them sitting like that, she remembered the feel of it from the first Hogsmeade trip of the year. She glared daggers at The Girl who now went in for a ‘Lady and the Tramp’ style bite of the Honeydukes candy between her and Sirius. Kelsey had the strangest urge to topple half her _Snapping Kettlecorn_ over the two of them.

But she maintained composure.

The Slytherin crowd on the opposite end of the stands cheered as their Chaser scored.

This wasn’t like her. The last time she had felt like this had been when she once saw Benji with his ex-girlfriends and with Dorcas Meadowes during Potions this year. She found herself getting warm as the common thread hit her.

Kelsey was in deep deep trouble indeed.

“Are you alright?” Astrid suddenly asked, having watched Kelsey suddenly go still.

“U-h-uh,” Kelsey stammered a bit unsure of what to do with the realisiation that she suddenly had feelings for one Sirius Orion Black.

That traitorous heart of hers! She couldn’t believe it!

“You’re really red. Are you okay?” Remus asked too.

“Yes,” she peeped and shot up straight. “No problem here,” she laughed nervously. “I think I ate something bad at breakfast earlier. I’m _like_ gonna go now.”

“We ate the same food,” Astrid gave her a pointed look.

“I don't know Astrid, she looks off. Perhaps she should go to the hospital wing?” Lily added from the row behind them.

By now even Sirius had his attention on her, watching with concern.

“Alright there, Jones?” he asked.

Instead of meeting his eyes she ignored him and spoke to Astrid and the others as she excused herself.

The moment she was out of the row and had made her way down the stands, she broke into a dash along the grounds. She only stopped when she thought she saw what looked like Peter Pettigrew with a sneaky bunch of boys in Slytherin robes in the corridors.

“Oi Pettigrew!” she called out making the lot stop. “Whatcha doin’” she skipped over, squinting her eyes at the Slytherins.

“I was um,” Pettigrew squeaked, looking really guilty all of a sudden. “I was just about to tell them off,” he declared.

“Tell them off? You’re not a prefect.”

He nodded slowly but she didn’t believe him. He looked at the Slytherins who hung their heads down and stalked off.

When she turned to face Pettigrew he was gone as well.

“Wonder what that was about,” she muttered, really confused now. Her gut feeling was off.

ϟ

Sirius watched Kelsey rush away, pressing her hands to her neck and face as if to calm herself. His stomach sank again.

“You idiot!” Prongs scolded and reached over The Girl to jab his friend in the side.

“Hey!” Sirius protested.

“You’re going to die alone!” Remus added.

“What a nutter,” The Girl next to Sirius spoke up. He gave her a hardened stare making her gulp.

“Chelsea,” Mary spoke up next to Lily. “I think it’s time for you to go,” she tried to put it as nicely as she could.

Chelsea got up in a huff. “Fine! But when I’m telling the story Sirius Black and I made out - the way French way!” She stormed off.

“Kelsey might be a nutter..” Mary sighed.

“..but she’s our nutter,” Marlene agreed, crossing her arms.

“That she is,” Sirius had that goofy grin on his face.

“Ahem,” Astrid elbowed him hard in the stomach looking him dead in the eye.

Running a hand through his hair, Sirius got up while his friends shook their heads. He made his way down the stands and saw Jone’s outline in the distance as if she were running.

Cursing to himself, he followed her, breaking off into a jog as soon as he reached the grounds. When he finally caught up with her, she was standing in the middle of the courtyards looking around fanatically.

“Jones!”

Kelsey saw the last person she had expected. She straightened herself to be more alert.

It was just a silly crush. She was sure it would go away just as quickly.

“This isn’t the way to the infirmary,” he panted, leaning a little to rest his hands on his knees.

“I-I was just-,” Crap. She needed to think of something. “- getting some fresh air before heading over.”

His curls fell over his face as he caught his breath. She had the strangest urge to run her hands through them.

“Alright then, I’ll come with you,” he straightened up and started walking in the other direction when she stopped him.

“NO!” she shouted a little too loudly, scaring him. “I mean. I think I’m fine now. I’ll just be off to my dorms.”

“But you’re still red - look.” He knit his eyebrows and placed a hand on her forehead, making her even more flustered.

Why was she reacting like this suddenly?

“I’m fine!” she insisted once again.

She hated the butterflies.

She hated the worried look in his eye.

Most of all she hated how much she was enjoying the coldness of his hand that was soothing. “Actually, I-I think I’ll just sleep it off,” she grasped his hand in her small ones and pried it off. Wordlessly, she took off running again towards her dorms before Sirius could think to follow her again.

ϟ

Kelsey chewed her food aggressively while staring at the back of Sirus Black’s head at dinner later that day. He was talking to Potter while Pettigrew and Remus listened. Her original plan had been to keep an eye on Pettigrew but her attention inadvertently went to _him_.

Without warning, Remus suddenly flicked Sirius with his wand on top of his head. She could only see him throw his head back in laughter as she gazed dreamily, disgusted by her own sappiness.

It was all the harder to ignore now that she was extremely aware of her feelings for him.

When had this happened? _How_ had this happened? She needed answers.

“Kelsey,” Astrid whispered next to her. But she didn’t hear. Being the good best-friend she was, she gently reached out to grab Kelsey’s chin that was hanging open as she stared at Sirius and lifted it shut. Food was meant to be eaten.

Remus looked past Sirius catching Kelsey’s eye at the Hufflepuff table and he nodded at her. At this, Sirius too turned to see her and he effortlessly shot her one of his swoon-worthy smirks. She temporarily forgot to breathe as he winked, instantly sending a flurry of butterflies through her stomach.

She went to smile back in the middle of taking a bite of her chicken and ended up spitting out bits of it.

The fates were not in her favour.

Mortified, she stared at the horror show as the slobbery chicken fell with a _plop!_ on her plate now mingling with the rest of her food.

She pushed her plate back and got up. She had made up her mind. There was only one way out of this.

Instead of making for the dorms as usual, she instead started walking towards the grounds before those Gryffindor boys had time to react.

“Where are you going?” Astrid caught up to her. In her haste, Kelsey hadn’t heard her follow.

“The Black Lake.”

“Oh okay,” Astrid said before stopping completely “Wait. Why?!”

“To drown myself,” Kelsey said as if it was the most casual thing in the world.

“WHAT?” Astrid’s screech could be heard down the corridor as she did her best to keep up. Kelsey simply walked on. In fact, she picked up her pace.

“Kels, stop!”

The two girls were now on the grounds. The Black Lake could be seen in the distance. Astrid dug her feet into the ground and started tugging Kelsey’s robes.

“Lemme go,” Kelsey tried to fight Astrid off.

This was it. This was how she died. It was the only way to escape the embarrassment.

“You didn’t see it Tatty. It was _like_ super cringe!”

“Stop being dramatic. So you embarrassed yourself in front of the guy you like. It wouldn’t be the first time. You’ll be fine,” Astrid tried to pull her arm.

“My life is over!” Kelsey protested. There’s no coming back from thi- Hold the eff up!” Kelsey stopped struggling. “You know?!” she cried.

Finally gaining some leverage, Astrid managed to force Kelsey to take a few steps in her direction.

“We all know!!” Astrid yelled back just as exasperated. “Except him, I guess.”

Kelsey gasped dramatically. Her life _was_ over indeed.

“Precisely why I shall be busy drowning myself in the lake. The shame,” Kelsey still couldn’t believe she had gone and fallen for stupid Sirius Black with stupid perfect hair and the stupid dazzling smile.

“Hear that Moony?” Potter’s voice rang through the empty corridor.

“I didn’t think Kelpies could drown,” Sirius snickered joining in.

Both girls froze, sharing a horrified look. They had the implicit understanding that nothing was worse than the guy you liked actually finding out about that exact fact.

“How did you guys even follow us?” Astrid asked.

“Well, you two weren’t’ exactly subtle,” Potter pointed out while Sirius observed her silently while she kept avoiding his gaze yet again.

“You didn’t erm- hear much, did you?” Kelsey was about to lose it.

“Why? Were you in the middle of proclaiming your undying love for me?” Sirius said jokingly, although a good part of him hoped it was true.

The boys had in fact, not heard anything. They had barely made it in time to hear Jones announce that she was going to drown herself in the lake after watching her dramatically exit the Great Hall.

“In your dreams,” Kelsey glared at him.

“Now if you don’t mind,” Kelsey continued. “I’d like to get on with this.”

“You’re not drowning yourself in the lake no matter how embarrassed you are!”

Sirius couldn't help the snort that. “I mean..that was embarrassing even for you Jones,” he recalled her attempt to smile back at him and instead slobbering food on her plate. His feelings remained unchanged. 

Kelsey stomped her foot in frustration and let out a disgruntled shriek. He couldn’t hold back his smile.

“Excuse me! Were in the middle of something,” Kelsey made a shoo-ing gesture with her hands.

She was adorable when she got like this, Sirius realised, as he leaned against the trunk of a tree, gazing at her like a lovestruck fool.

“Guys!” Astrid demanded their attention. The four boys were lazily leaning against a tree trunk, yawning at the scene in front of them. “A little help here?” She sounded just as crazy as she looked after ten minutes of playing tug of war with Kelsey’s person.

Remus who had caught on to his mate’s dreamy stare elbowed Sirius hard snapping him out of it.

“I mean if you insist..” Sirius suddenly announced as the thought came to him suddenly. He was feeling edgy with Jones avoiding him all day. With a mischievous chuckle, he strode forward and picked her up, bridal style.

“What the FUCK do you think you’re doing?!” she started beating his chest as best as she could. Sirius resisted the need to bury his head in her hair and smell that soothing citrusy scent.

“Kelsey darlin’,” his gravelly voice whispered in her ear, as she held on, with her arms around his neck. “I’m just giving you what you want.”

His face was inches from her. She had half a second to process what was happening before he flung her into the lake.

_SPLASH!_

Astrid, Potter, Remus and Pettigrew watched in horror.

This was it. Sirius really was going to die alone.

“B-B-B-Black!” Kelsey emerged from the lake, moments later, cold and shivering. She brought her arms up around herself for warmth.

“I’m g-going to k-k-kill you!” Kelsey was really cold. Like really really cold.

Late November was not the time for this. But before she could make good on her threat she found herself slipping away from consciousness.

Sirius’ petrified face was the last thing she remembered as she slumped into his arms once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Do you love me or do you love me? ;)
> 
> Vote/comment if you liked it! Next update on Sunday


	28. Delicate

Kelsey woke up with a groan. She felt really warm. She went to get up but a cramp hit her and she fell back not-so-quietly muttering a few choice words at the ceiling.

"Kelsey!" She heard the familiar voices of her friends exclaim. Finally, she managed to open her eyes to the worried faces of Astrid, Lily and Mary next to the infirmary bed.

She noted how bright the entire Wing was. Had she slept through the night?

"See, she sounds fine to me," a voice called out.

She looked past her friends to see Potter, Remus, Pettigrew and _him_ sitting a lot farther away from her. Smart choice.

She wanted to muster up anger but she was in pain.

She went for a second attempt to get up, however, the stabbing pain in her abdomen destroyed any hopes once again.

"Miss Jones! Oh good, you're up!" Madame Pomfrey shuffled over and her friends stepped back, making way.

"What am I doing here?" Kelsey rasped.

"You gave us quite a scare!" She tutted in her usual manner. "What would possess you to go for a midnight swim in this weather?!" she scolded as she placed a bunch of healing potions on the small table next to her bed.

"Yes. I wonder," she seethed while sending Black a death glare. He had the decency to look guilty. Could you un-crush on someone?

"You had a fever which your little adventure only speeded up. You also have a cold. I'm keeping you here to make sure you don't catch pneumonia."

Kelsey drank the potion that the nurse shoved into her hand.

"Oh and you started your monthly," she announced cheerfully, happy that that was one less hormonal teenager to worry about getting pregnant. "You can have those pain relievers after you're finished with these. You clearly need them," she watched as Kelsey winced in pain once again.

Kelsey regretted that Sirius throwing her into the lake hadn't drowned her. She looked at the nurse in horror as she turned to face her friends and then the boys who were now just as red-faced suddenly finding their shoes more interesting.

She had found the one thing worse than a boy finding out you liked them - them knowing the intricate workings of your period.

She could feel the pity radiating off of Astrid, while Lily and Mary chatted anxiously.

After she finished drinking all the tonics, she lay back down on the bed wordlessly and drew the bedsheet over her face and just lay there.

This was her life now.

Sirius Black felt like an utter tosser.

"I mean," Prongs whispered next to him. "At least she's not pregnant. Now you know she's not off with other blokes," he sent him a sympathetic smile, trying to lighten the grim mood.

Remus held back a chuckle as he saw Sirius' face scrunch.

"Shut up," Sirius grumbled.

He watched Kelsey's friends trying to snatch the bedsheet off her but she just refused, turned the other way, and curled up into a ball.

Jones refused to talk. With a sigh, the three girls got up and made to leave.

This was _his_ fault.

"I can't believe you did that," Lily Evans was in front of them looking furious. "What if she gets pneumonia and dies! It's bad enough she happened to get her _period_ too!"

"That's a bit extre-" Prongs began but she shut him down with one scornful look.

Sirius did not have a witty comeback for once as he saw Jones lying there in pain.

"Irresponsible!"

Sirius watched as Evans left the infirmary with Prongs on her heels.

"You coming Pads?" Moony and Wormtail too made to leave.

"You go ahead. I'll stick around for a bit." _See if she ever talks or even looks at me again_ , he thought sourly.

Behind her, Kelsey heard her friends leave. She felt bad but she really wasn't in a mood to talk to anyone. She had had enough embarrassment to last a lifetime. All in a span of twelve hours.

Plus, with Mother Nature in the house, she deserved the slight courtesy to be able to mope in peace.

The oncoming of her period ironically made her feel a little better, as she realised yesterday had been the effects of PMS.

"I knew I wasn't a weak-ass biddy," she whispered to herself. Yesterday had been a roller coaster of emotions; right from the game to her sappy gazes to her dramatic exit.

She closed her eyes and lay there in peace for a few moments before she heard someone shuffle behind her and sit on the chair.

"Kelsey," he said softly.

She didn't know if she would ever get used to the sound of her name on his lips.

"Talk to me," he pleaded. Instead, she tugged the covers around her tightly and remained still.

"Kels-"

"Go away," she mumbled through the covers. She heard a sigh and footsteps of him walking away. She fell asleep in that position.

Ϟ

The entire day passed with Kelsey going in and out of sleep as her fever gradually wore down. There were a few coughing bouts wherein Madame Pomfrey would rush to her side and ease her but other than that she slept without a hitch. She was told that she could leave on Monday night if she improved by then.

That information alone was enough to cause panic. She couldn't bear the thought of missing NEWT classes. By Monday morning she was almost back to herself, still a little moody but now frantically expressing her worry about having to catch up on classes if she didn't get better.

Lily was by her side before classes to assure her that it would be fine. Kelsey only let her leave after she promised to bring back detailed notes.

By lunch on Monday, she was well enough to sit up and eat the bread pudding that Lily and Marlene had brought for her.

Lily went over while recounting how Potter - yes he was Potter again - was back to annoying her. Kelsey tried to assure Lily that it wasn't his fault. After all, she didn't want to be the cause for this blooming romance.

"I think you should go easy on Potter. It's the other one we need to watch out for," Kelsey grumbled while eating the pudding.

Why couldn't she have feelings for a normal boy who did normal sweet things like helping out old ladies cross the street?

"I think Sirius feels really bad," Marlene said, giving her a small smile. "I saw him in class today. He didn't look like his usual self."

Sirius Black and James Potter entered the infirmary on Monday during lunch to check on Jones. He would've visited during breakfast but Prongs told him to stay away for a while. Sirius figured that half a day was _'while'_ enough.

He didn't like the unsettling feeling that was gnawing at him.

"Ke- Jones," he corrected himself the moment he saw the crowd.

"What?" she snapped without looking at him. The girls had been in the middle of a conversation. From her clenched jaw, he had an inkling of what the topic had been.

"Evans," Potter said suddenly. "Uh - McGonagall said you're needed. Some third years got into the forbidden corridors on the fifth fl-,"

"What?! Where?!" With that Lily was up and off drilling Potter for information about the supposed shenanigans. Sirius looked at Marlene nervously who got the hint and left as well after patting Jones on the leg.

"Traitor," Jones grumbled as Sirius took Marlene's spot.

Sirius looked at her sitting on the bed. Her hair was fussed up and she looked tired. He was tempted to do something to soothe her but he knew it wasn't worth the slap in the face.

"I'm sorry."

She finally met his gaze for the first time since the Quidditch match.

"I hate you," she spoke softly.

He looked dejected for a moment. "You do?"

"No," she huffed. "But I wish I did," she mumbled, crossing her arms.

He held back a smile as he did his best to once again ignore his thumping heart.

"Forgive me."

"Not yet." She wasn't going to make it easy and Sirius hadn't expected her to.

"What do I have to do? I'll do anything!" She bit her lip in thought pretending to think.

"Anything?" Suddenly she seemed interested.

"Anything," he declared.

"I need notes," she declared knowing full well that Sirius Black never wrote his own notes in class. If she suffered so would he. Feelings - schmeelings.

This was war.

He groaned automatically but she gave him a 'This is all your fault' look.

"Fine." He got up to head off to class.

"They better be in your handwriting. I'd recognise Remus' handwriting you know."

"Will do, love," he winked at her, making her remember the thing that started it all on Saturday.

"F-flattery will get you nowhere!" She cried just as he was out the door. He could practically hear the smile on her face.

Ϟ

 _Where was Tatty?_ Kelsey wondered.She was supposed to be here for her discharge.

"Miss Jones! Now you're just being dramatic!"

She heard footsteps approaching and fell back on her bed in pain.

"Avenge me," she croaked. She put one hand over her stomach and reached the other one out dramatically towards - she assumed - who would be Astrid.

"Blimey, Jones. If the pneumonia didn't kill you, I think your um- womanly stuff might," she heard Sirius Black chuckle and sit down, throwing a bunch of parchment on her.

She sat back up, red in the face.

"No uterus, no opinion," she told him.

"Fair point," he agreed and looked at the parchment. "Your notes m'lady." She held them up in awe. She really hadn't expected him to write them.

Sometime later, Madame Pomfrey showed up to finish up her final checks to discharge Kelsey only to find her and Sirius Black having a civil conversation as he went over what looked like class notes.

As the nurse saw Sirius Black, the boy she had heard notorious rumours about over the years, it clicked when she recalled the day he had shown up claiming to have been poisoned.

"Young love," she chuckled to herself and headed over to the two to let Kelsey know the good news.

Kelsey and Sirius exited the Great Hall, arguing about an appropriate timeline to resume their prank war when they heard two even louder bickering voices.

"Oh just shut it would you Potter!"

They didn't need a Ravenclaw to figure out who it belonged to.

Sirius figured that James who had been on watch duty to keep Lily away from Jones while he visited her was just doing his part.

"Yeah? Well, make me, Evans," Potter sounded just as frustrated. He had spent the last two days at his wits end to explain himself to Lily for something that wasn't even his fault.

"Oh he did not just say _that_ ," Kelsey whispered and Sirius gave her a confused look. Kelsey had read enough muggle books to know what came next.

They turned the corner the very moment Lily furiously grabbed James by the collar and pulled him down, smashing their lips together.

Sirius gasped, clutching his poor heart.

Lily held on to James, vehemently snogging his face off in the middle of the corridor. Potter wide-eyed froze in shock for a few moments before kissing her back. He brought a hand up to tangle it in her hair and deepened the kiss.

Kelsey didn't know how that was possible. They were already glued by the face.

"Getting creepy. Starin' like this. We should go," Kelsey tried to tug Sirius away to give them much needed privacy but he stayed put.

"Pinch me," Sirius whispered, still not believing the scene. Kelsey obliged eliciting a shrill yelp that alerted the two Heads in front of them. They jumped apart to see Kelsey beaming and poor Sirius looking shocked that the day had actually come.

"You - He - Evans -" Sirius stuttered. Before they could explain themselves Kelsey dragged Sirius away.

As the week went by, neither Kelsey nor Sirius had spoken a word of it to anyone. But the same could not be said for other shocked students who stumbled upon the Head Boy and Head Girl snogging in most ridiculous places around the castle.

By the end of that week, almost all of Hogwarts knew that Lily Evans and James Potter were an item.

Sirius could only watch on, 90% happy and 10% jealous, that Friday morning as Prongs pulled down a blushing Evans into his lap and kissed her cheek.

 _'At least Kelpie was talking to him'_ he thought, meeting her gaze down the table where Evans' friends sat.

The rest of December passed by in a blur of classes. From dungbombs in the girls dorms to misplaced comic books, Sirius stuck to low damage and frankly low-effort pranks, a little apprehensive about Jones' health.

The week after discharge was still a little rough. He'd see her limping around, clutching on to her tummy. Although he heard Mary and Marlene discussing how she was faking the 'period pains'. He had no idea how long those things lasted.

She'd smile at him in corridors, setting off an unsettling rush of warmth every time but she kept her distance as if something was holding her back. He found himself longing to have her there in front of him, yelling at him. Scolding him. Doing anything really. Perhaps he was a masochist when it came to having her attention.

He didn't realise how embedded their daily banters had been as a part of his Hogwarts life until then. 

A few days before students left for break, Sirius, Remus and Peter were in their dorms with James out on patrol that evening with Jones.

Sirius sighed, heavily, one that clearly begged for attention. Remus grumbled internally before replying, "We noticed how your pranks have been not up to par since Kelsey's discharge earlier this month."

Sirius sighed again, staring up at the ceiling. Remus observed him for a few moments before adding, "You know she's not fragile, right? I heard Astrid muttering something about her getting restless too. It's almost unnatural how you two aren't causing havoc."

"Heard Mckinnon saying something about Jones and period pains," Sirius grunted.

Peter blushed at the mention of feminine issues.

Remus almost snickered at the thought of Sirius Black, THE womaniser - now ex-womaniser, actually caring enough for another girl that much. But then he knew how special this unusual relationship of theirs was.

"Just so you know, er- those things are meant to last about a week tops," he pointed out instead. 

"THEY- WHAT?!" Sirius cried. He thought of all the times Jones actively put on a show in front of him. "She was taking advantage of me not knowing that part!" he realised. "That- that- little minx!"

Peter was now sniggering.

"You're just mad someone got you at your own game again," Remus quipped and returned to his book.

Sirius huffed, considering what Moony had just said. It was time he upped his game again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please vote and comment if you liked it!


	29. How You Get the Girl

On December 23rd, 1977 the Jones family sat around the dinner table at home. While Kelsey's mum went on about her job as a landscape architect, her dad related tales of the bad boy juvenile teens he'd hear at the prosecutor's office.

Kelsey distractedly nodded along, remembering her very own bad boy that she had to deal with every day. Not that Sirius was _her_ bad boy to be had. Nuh-uh. The thought had her awkwardly shoving more food into her mouth to distract herself.

"So, honey," her mother said, pausing her story of the case of the missing rooftop plants - attempted sabotage by a rival firm. Amelia Jones darted her eyes towards her husband who took it as a sign of a serious conversation to come. He knew better than to question his wife's motives after 21 years of marriage. "How has your year been going?"

"Oh, you know," Kelsey started. "Same ol' boring stuff. Magic and essays and whatnot."

"Is that so?" her mum hummed with a knowing tone. "Does that boring stuff include sneaking into the boy's dorm to dye some poor boy's hair or flashing your undies to the entire school in the presence of said boy." She took a bite of the pie.

Theodore Jones who was in the middle of eating his pie as well, spat it out in shock at the notion of his precious, too-innocent-for-the-world daughter, entering an all-boys dorm. It was clear where Kelsey got her food spluttering tendencies.

"WHO IS HE?" he bellowed. Theo was 17 once. He _knew_ what went on in their heads.

"OH MY GOD MOM!" Kelsey dropped her knife and fork with disbelief. Sirius Black was the last person she wanted to talk about with them. And he was anything but _poor_ , as her mom had put it.

"You see the thing is.." Amelia Jones calmly, going for another bite. "..I have been receiving very interesting letters from Professor McGonagall this term. Tell me Kelsey: why am I receiving letters from the Deputy Head - the lady who isn't even your Head of House?"

"JUST A FIRST NAME. I have a friend at the local PD. I WILL HUNT DOWN THE BOY WHO STOLE MY DAUGHTER'S INNOCENCE!" Her father made for his gun collection stashed in their basement.

"Dad it's not like that!" Kelsey cried. She got up, trying to calm him down.

Once they were all seated again she began. "It's just a prank war," she mumbled, avoiding their gaze.

"Isn't Sirius Black that the boy we met that one time?"

Kelsey gulped and met her mother's challenging gaze. Crap. She knew.

Her dad grunted upon remembering the scrawny kid he had once glared at the station for being within five feet of his daughter.

He wasn't deaf. He had also heard the stories of how he and his friends spent their time tormenting his daughter and her friend Evans and how she would complain about finding him in closets making out with girls.

His only solace was the fact that she appeared to hate him too. Although as he watched his daughter suddenly look mortified, he wasn't so sure anymore. It was a father's worst nightmare.

"It's harmless fun," Kelsey shrugged. "It's not affecting my studies _like_ seriously. I'm still on track to graduate with good grades and join the Muggle relations department, I swear!"

Her mother let out a tired sigh.

"Plus, we kinda cooled down about it in the last month," she mumbled, turning a little red in the face. Amelia Jones knew the telltale signs of a blush when she saw one.

"Honey, this isn't about your studies. We have complete faith in you," Amelia consoled lovingly while Theo nodded along. "You know you can talk to us about anything right?" she said softly. "And that includes any boys you may or may not like too." The playful tone was hard to miss.

"WHAT?! Ugh. Can you just _not!_ " Stammering her way through how much Sirius was the bane of her existence, she got up. "You know - funny thing - ha ha Lily actually started dating Potter. I called it right?" she got up now scuttling about to clean her plate and stash it on the drying rack.

"You mean sweet Lily who is now dating the boy she once claimed to hate?"

Kelsey didn't have a reply because her mum was technically right. So she did the next best thing a 17-year-old teenage girl could do. She let out a frustrated shriek and stormed up instead leaving her mother chuckling back at the dinner table.

Beside her, Theo looked defeated. Amelia placed a hand over his. "It's happened, Theo. Our baby's all grown up," she smiled at him.

Tears prickled at the thought of his daughter about to graduate high school and moving out. He accepted it. But not yet. He had _serious_ doubts about this Sirius dude.

"Never," he grumbled, sinking back into the chair. He couldn't wait to meet the guy. He was already working on his _'You hurt my daughter'_ speech.

Ϟ

"Honey, look at this! Wouldn't this be _like_ just the cutest?" Kelsey's mother beamed happily while holding up a colour-changing robe at Madame Malkin's store. Her parents had accompanied her to Diagon Alley for some last-minute shopping supply after Kelsey had insisted on it.

The reports of muggle-born attacks were only increasing and she had convinced them to come along partly because she could at least protect them when should anything happen. Lily was the one who had suggested the idea to Kelsey who had been nervous about leaving them alone. She'd be sure to put some sort of protective charm over their house when she left for school after New Year's.

Kelsey hummed mechanically not really paying attention because she was busy staring at Benji Macdonald who she saw walking down the alley with Mary towards them. She sent them a grin.

"Benji!" she squealed and launched into his arms.

"Kels," he grunted as she hugged him.

Her dad looked up at the name of a boy on his daughter's lips as she exclaimed eagerly and went for a hug. He was about to step in and introduce himself when his wife held him back and dragged him further into the store instead.

"Benji!" Sirius Black too looked up so quickly that he managed to get a kink in his neck. He looked ahead to see Mary and Benjamin Perfect-Prefect Macdonald talking to Kelsey as she gushed on.

He turned, snatched the book that Moony had been browsing, put it back in its place, and dragged him along closer to the three. They crouched behind a tall street display, diagonally across.

"Padfoot what are-" Moony started but Sirius shushed him. His friend followed his gaze to see the trio talking outside a clothing store and muttered _'Of course.'_

Sirius narrowed his eyes dangerously when he saw the Macdonald boy smiling at Kelsey, looking a little too happy to see her.

"What is Mary doing?" Sirius exclaimed as he saw Mary excuse herself and enter a different shop, leaving them alone.

Benjamin turned to face Kelsey shyly and made a gesture as if to go for a stroll. She accepted. Letting out a _hmph!_ , Sirius turned to Moony.

"Just go," Remus sighed, giving up completely. "I'm heading back to the bookstore."

Sirius Black started following them, hiding behind shelves, giant Christmas decorations, and a group of shoppers as he inched closer. Little did he know that there was also another man following the pair, just like himself on the other side of the street.

Sirius finally managed to get close. He could finally hear them.

"So er- fancy grabbing a bite? I think Mary might take a while. She says she wasn't buying my gift, but we all know that's a lie," Benjamin let out a low chuckle. Kelsey smiled and was about to agree, wanting to pick his brain for more NEWT advice when she felt a hand snake around her waist.

"There you are, love," Sirius Black's breath tickled her ear. "I was looking for you."

She turned to face him shocked as he smirked back. She broke out of her trance the moment she felt his thumb lightly graze her waist while sizing up Benji.

She pushed him away.

"W-what are you doing?!"

"More like what are _you_ doing with my girlfriend here, Macdonald?" Sirius continued to stare at him. Nothing on his face betrayed the lie.

"This is ridiculous! Black, I am not yo-"

"GIRLFRIEND?!!" A fourth voice interrupted them all. The sight of a flushed Theo Jones tightly clutching that colour-changing robe rested before them. He couldn't hold himself back as he witnessed not one but two boys fighting over _his_ daughter.

"Dad it's not what it looks like!" She elbowed Sirius who dropped his hand just as quickly as he saw her father's murderous gaze.

"Never thought you'd end up with him," Benji mumbled. "Don't matter - You two look great together. Although I shouldn't have been surprised," he smiled genuinely although looking a bit down. "Write to me y'know. If you want more NEWT help. I think I'll go find Mary." He walked away happy to not be on the receiving end of whatever was about to follow with Kelsey's mean-looking father and Black.

"Theo, what are you doing?! We didn't pay for that!" Kelsey's mom jogged over, looking panicked as two sour-looking wizards followed her.

And that's how the four of them were swept up in the shoplifting scandal of the afternoon as the Alley Cops - glorified Mall Cops really - dragged her parents back to the store and demanded payment for the items they had snuck out.

Madame Malkin then banned them for life all while Kelsey frantically tried to explain the situation with her mother introducing herself to Sirius in the background. When things cooled down, they found themselves sitting at a table in the Leaky Cauldron.

"Kelsey, you just told us yesterday that he wasn't your boyfriend," her mom shot her a disappointed look.

"We aren't-"

"So, you talk about me when I'm not around, eh?" Sirius interrupted and grinned at her.

He didn't know what had possessed him to pull that stunt but holding her in his arms, he didn't even have any regrets. Especially not with how well she seemed to fit right in.

"That's it! I think we'll be off now." Kelsey stood up and started dragging her parents away toward the exit through the pub. "It was nice seeing you, Black. Not." She stuck her tongue out at the boy who grinned back in response.

"Kelsey! That is no way to talk to your boyfriend!" her mother scolded undoing her daughter's grasp. "I really don't know how you managed to snag such a caring boyfriend with that attitude," Amelia said. Kelsey was about to protest when her mother held up a hand.

"I think Theo and I can find our way home. Why don't you kids enjoy yourselves? I think I saw a sign for a couples' special at that icecream parlour," Amelia dragged her husband away before either could protest.

Kelsey stood staring at the scene in front of her as her parents left her in the dust. Her dad managed to turn around and mouth _'I'm watching you'_ at Sirius. Just before they disappeared from sight, she pulled out her wand and cast a temporary shield charm over them to make sure they got home safe. In case the shop-lifting commotion drew unwanted attention.

"Girlfriend?" She jabbed his chest hard, turning to face him. "What is wrong with you? Is this all a joke?" She was upset because she realised that this was all a game to him. He got off on girls' attention and it had irked her for years and it still hadn't stopped.

She turned instead and walked into the main alley, with no goal in mind as to where she was going.

"Jones," he stopped her just outside Flourish and Blotts. Holding on to her elbow, he turned her swiftly. "Wait!" The crook of her elbow hit a stand and sent it toppling over with a loud crash. They both froze as they heard the angry yells of the shopkeeper coming closer.

"Run."

That was all it took for her to grab onto his hand and make a break for it. They stopped only when they were sure that the coast was clear in a more deserted alley.

"Kelsey," he spoke but she cut him off.

 _'Why is he looking at me like that?_ ' thought Kelsey

"Do you think this is a joke?" She started again. "That feelings are just something fun to play with?!"

He held back a smile as she animatedly continued her earlier speech going on about his incorrigible ways.

"I don't," he might as well come clean and risk the humiliation and get it over it. He wouldn't get a chance like this. 

"W-what?"

"I don't think of you as a game, Jones. I never did." He cupped her face with one hand. He noticed her breathing get shallow. Her eyes were light enough for him to see darken.

"Kelsey," she whispered.

"W-what?" It was his turn to be surprised.

"I like it when you call me Kelsey."

She hadn't pushed him away yet as he reveled in holding her close. He took it as a sign.

"Kelsey," he murmured. "Please don't slap me," he said right before connecting their lips. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughtsss?


	30. Lover

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please don't eat/drink while reading this. Kthnx

Just like that first kiss in fifth-year, Kelsey stood frozen momentarily before giving in to the warmth of his lips and kissing him back. Sirius groaned and held her closer, deepening it.

When she snuck her hands around his neck and started to play with his hair, he lost it.

With a grunt, he pushed ahead until she was backed up against a wall. He moved to her jaw, leaving a soft trail of kisses as she whimpered, making him turn his attention back to her lips to quiet her. He didn't want anyone else to hear those sounds. They were for his ears only.

They kissed like never before only stopping when they were actually running out of breath. They broke away, more flushed than before, breathing heavily as they stared at each other.

She didn't know what she was supposed to say. She just had the living daylights snogged out of her by Sirius Black.

And..she liked it?

Was this why there were hoards of girls crazy about him back at school? As soon as the thought came, she felt uncertainty creeping in.

Was she just another quick snog for him? But she didn't need to worry further because he interrupted her thoughts:

"Right so," he began suddenly nervous. Blimey. He didn't know how to do this. How did they do this? Maybe he should've listened closer when Prongs was telling the tale of him confessing to Evans.

"Moony may or may not have told me that I've kindasortalikedyousincefifthyear," he rushed out the last bit.

She stared back stupidly lost for words before replying:

"Astrid may or may not have told me that I kindasortalikedyousincefifthyear too." But of course, Kelsey wasn't one to stop rambling. "I mean you know right when I liked Benji too. It was funny really-"

"Really?!" Sirius stared in disbelief. "You liked me and _that_ kid at the same time!"

"Well," she huffed, her nostrils flaring a little. She can't believe she had actually told him that. She would've never done it if he hadn't said it first. "Take it or leave it!" She made to leave and turned but he pulled her back again.

"I'll take it," he stopped her from walking away. He had his lips on her again before breaking off suddenly. "Are you certain? I refuse to believe I was in competition with that-"

She rolled her eyes and pulled him into a third kiss.

Three kisses, well four if you counted fifth-year, but she already had him addicted. This time when they broke apart, he smiled at her stupidly before they both burst into laughter.

"What now?" she asked.

"Don't think for a second that I'm going easy on you for a second there Jones." He grinned smugly.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Black," she retorted. Both could feel themselves running on a high.

"So it's back to Black is it?" he tilted his head as they made their way back to the busy main street.

"If it's Jones to you too," she teased. "Maybe Padfoot?" She tested it on her lips. Realising how intimate the nickname was, and that maybe it wasn't her place to go thee yet - or maybe even ever- what even were they really? - she interrupted herself. "I mean Black's fine too-"

"No!" Sirius stopped her. "I like it," he said, getting a little shy. "You can call me Padfoot," he assured her with a grin. Even though those nicknames had become commonplace since fifth-year, he'd never let another girl call him that. 

Until now.

He was sure she had driven him mad after all.

Call him enchanted or bewitched, he didn't care as he watched her gaping at him. The crowd around him was a blur of witches and wizards. 

"Padfoot it is," she said in a husky voice earning a pained groan from him. Kelsey noticed his interesting reaction as his pupils dilated, and he bit his lip looking at her like his next meal when..

"There you are! Sirius! Where have you been for the last hour?" Remus Lupin showed up. "Oh- Kelsey!" He waved at her.

Both spaced apart, putting what they thought was an appropriate distance between two people who hated each other publicly. Sirius positioned himself a little awkwardly behind her, trying to adjust the unfortunate tent in his pants.

There were too many people suddenly calling him Padfoot and Jones moaning it like that had quite the scandalising reaction.

Kelsey waved at the boys as they left to find James and Lily who were around somewhere on a date too before heading home.

Sirius was listening to Moony complain about how he had been finding him for the last hour when he turned back subtly and sent her one last wink. Jones flipped him off, making him grin even wider.

The two smiled all the way home that day.

Ϟ

"Are you okay?" Astrid eyed Kelsey suspiciously their first night back at Hogwarts in their dorm.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Kelsey squinted back.

"You look happy. It's creepy," she pointed out.

_On December 31st at one minute to midnight, a corporeal Patronus had found its way to her window. The silver dog had playfully nudged her, done a small lap around her room, and disappeared into nothingness, leaving a mist of 'Padfoot' scrawled in the air._

_Kelsey hadn't stopped smiling for most of the rest of the holidays. Even her parents found it disturbing by the end._

"You're imagining things now. Coming back to what I was saying.." Kelsey shrugged it off, hiding a smile.

"..your next prank," Astrid drawled with a yawn, laying her head on the pillow.

"Precisely. Now what do you think of the idea?" she beamed, eager for a positive response.

"I just think that if you two ever do end up together - may the powers of Godric and Helga help you both. Who is this Pavlov anyway?" Astrid closed her eyes and turned away not really expecting an answer.

Kelsey grinned and went to sleep. The next day, she went about her classes and routine as usual. The usual included a grand yelling match with proclamations of prank wars 2.0 renewed for the new term for all their friends to witness.

It was too soon to announce whatever this was and Kelsey was nervous to tell her friends about it yet. It had been her idea over a letter during break to keep it under wraps for now. She couldn't imagine the horror or worse the smugness on her friends' faces.

A little after dinner on their second day back when she was on her way to patrol, a hand shot out of a broom cupboard and pulled her in. She was about to yell when his cologne hit her.

"Did you get my message?" Sirius nuzzled her neck as she sighed against him in the dark.

"You mean the silver bear that charged into my room and proclaimed its love for me? Why yes I did. My parents are putting together an Easter break wedding as we speak," she giggled. "Macho indeed."

Most upper years knew Benjamin's distinct Patronus.

"He did WHAT? I am going to shove hi-" Sirius started before barely catching the glint in her eye despite the darkness. "Oh you evil-" He teasingly nipped her neck drawing a soft moan.

"Padfoot," she moaned, fluttering her eyes shut. While this was part of her next plan, she couldn't help herself from saying it that way. Not when his lips did such things to her body.

The idea had come to her not too soon after she had noticed his interesting reaction to the way she said it and after her mom had told them the story of how her firm finally got revenge for the missing plants with some Pavlov-styled revenge.

"Kelsey," he rasped and captured her lips roughly. Her hand went for his locks and moved to leave a visible hickey while she emphasised her moans of his Marauder nickname. She was losing sight of where her ingenious prank began and where she wanted to lose herself in him.

She was sure she'd end up Pavlov-ing herself amidst this as she ground her hips against his where he held her. After their seven minutes in heaven, she managed to detach herself to make her way to patrols.

Next day at breakfast, Kelsey made her way to sit next to Sirius and James in class. Everyone including their friends were suddenly on alert, including Sirius. Sure, they were together of sorts. But they were still at war. Publicly that is. There had been some truth to that proclamation.

"What are you doing?" Potter looked at her suspiciously as she sat down next to Sirius.

"Sitting. Padfoot here doesn't mind, does he?" she smiled coyly, grabbing his thigh under the table.

He silently shook his head, suddenly gripping his fork tightly. He sent his friends a tight smile.

"See - Padfoot and I have an understanding," she winked at Lily who took it as a sign of another prank brewing and zoned out immediately.

"That's your best idea?" Potter snorted. "To poison his food?"

Kelsey grinned back smugly, sneakily dragging her hand over his thigh as he subtly tried to pry it off without grabbing attention.

"Trust me. It wouldn't be that _obvious_ ," she lowered her voice, meeting Potter's challenging gaze.

Ϟ

"Is it just me or is it weird that Jones is suddenly calling him Padfoot? _Like_ all the time?" James whispered to Remus later that week during class. They had witnessed Jones snatch every chance of referring to their friend as Padfoot. 

Her tone was what put them on edge. While Sirius played it off as Jones trying to get on his nerves, they weren't so sure. No other girl had gotten away with something like that to date.

"I think it's crazier that you and Padfoot have started saying _like_ all the time," Remus pointed out. James kept staring at Jones instead across the Potions classroom.

"Forget it. Pads doesn't care. People do crazy things in love," Remus said nonchalantly.

"Tell me about it," James shook his head when Remus looked at him like _Are-you-kidding-me._

"Whatever," James mumbled under his breath before sending a cheesy smile Lily's way. She just rolled her eyes and paid attention to Professor Slughorn.

Ϟ

"Can't keep away, can you?" Sirius smirked as he saw Kelsey approaching him in Transfiguration later that week but it faltered at the last minute.

Kelsey rolled her eyes and took the empty seat next to Remus instead who looked nervously to Astrid a few seats away. Astrid just shrugged.

Before they could argue further, Professor McGonagall entered the room and started the lecture. Remus figured that it wasn't worth it, not when they had to finish practicing yet another NEWT level spell.

However Sirius being Sirius kept looking back at throughout class only to be met with secretive smiles and an occasional wink.

Halfway through the lesson, Kelsey got up and leaned over the desk when McGonagall had her back to the class. She deliberately dropped her quill on the ground between Peter and Sirius ahead of her.

"Padfoot," she whispered, her lips barely grazing his ear. "Be a darlin' and get me that quill would you?" she asked sweetly.

Sirius Black was very confused at the immediate reaction a certain part of his body had. In fact, he hadn't noticed it until then. It seemed to be his unconscious reaction to Jones echoing that name now. His pants tightened as he froze in shock.

He turned behind to glare at her and tell her to pick up her own damn quill when he saw her sporting a shit-eating grin. Her smiled dropped quickly as she looked up in front of them and sat back down just as quickly in time before McGonagall turned back.

Minerva turned to see Sirius Black, disrupting class as usual with his back turned facing his friend Remus Lupin. "Mister Black if you could please stand up and share with us what is so interesting on Mister Lupin's desk. I daresay at least one of you four should be taking proper notes."

"I wasn't doing anything!" Sirius protested but the Professor wasn't having it.

"Up it is," Sirius heard Kelsey snicker behind him. Remus looked at her confused and Sirius turned to say something when he was stopped.

"Up. Now, Mister Black," the older witch impatiently tapped her foot.

He did his best to protest further but she didn't budge. His friends watched, baffled until he rose up silently, trying to tug his pants without being obvious. He hoped that the pants were dark enough to hide it. They weren't.

"Mister Black what is the meaning of this?!" Professor McGonagall's gaze was there for a whole half a second before she averted her eyes in fury.

There were several gasps as students started turning to look back at Sirius.

Peter, next to Sirius, looked at the tent now eye-level with him. His eyes bulged in response and all he had done was turn to the left.

"Professor, I swear it's not what it looks like!" He looked at the books on the desk in a desperate attempt. Peter seemed to get the message and reached for it the same time he did. In a hurry, Peter attempted to bring the books up to his friend's very prominent boner, empathising as a fellow boy but instead smacked it hard against his friend's crotch sending Sirius doubling over in pain.

All the boys in the classroom winced on instinct, _Oohing_ silently to themselves as the girls burst into laughter.

Sirius now lay on the ground clutching onto his privates, cursing Wormtail while Prongs rushed over to help. Remus sat there stunned as Kelsey too held onto the desk to stop herself from falling over in laughter.

Sirius managed to sit up, catching her smug expression just in time.

 _Oh, how he'd enjoy getting her back_ , he thought doing his best to keep Prongs from attempting to personally check his injury.

"Mister Potter, please don't do that - No! Stop trying to touch Mister Black there - Just help him to the infirmary - Or perhaps the dorms for a really cold shower," Professor McGonagall shrieked red-faced once more.

McGonagall felt bad as she watched the two squabbling boys hobble out. Sure with the whole _mummy_ thing, she figured that the poor boy had issues. But it was getting a bit much. Perhaps it was time Hogwarts hired some full-time counselors. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Omfg, I just - 
> 
> I loved reading your reactions to the last one!!


	31. illicit affairs

Where was she? Sirius was getting restless.

He peeked his head out the door of the empty classroom to keep an eye out for Kelsey. According to Moony, she should be passing by anytime now. He nervously felt for the contraption in his uniform pocket checking for the hundredth time that it was there.

As soon as he heard footsteps, he stepped back into the darkness of the classroom, pulling the cloak over himself. He could hear her humming one of the songs she usually would. As per Sirius' instructions, Moony had made himself scarce a few minutes before leaving her alone on patrol.

This was his plan for getting back at her. She'd made it clear that their recent change in relationship status, thought Sirius smugly, had no effect whatsoever on their other tiff. The idea only made him more excited. It made her seem more appealing to him.

Although he hadn't expected her to be that brutal. Whispers of Sirius hung about the castle even a few days later. Of course the boys thought it was hilarious. 

At one point even Prongs had said: 'Padfoot, mate. You need to snatch her up soon.' Of course, Sirius hadn't told any of them the truth yet. 

The whistling grew louder and he knew it was time. Just like many times before, he shot a hand out to grab her and pulled her into the classroom. She was about to shriek when he spun her around to face him in the dark.

"You. Need. To. Stop. Doing. That." She immediately started smacking him. With a smirk, he took in her flushed face as she got her breathing back in control.

He pushed her against the wall, trapping her in with his hands up on both sides on the wall. "Black," she started off in a warning tone but instead of listening he simply went for it and captured her lips with his.

Mad as he was, who was he to deny the urge to kiss her every time he saw her? They riled each other up in the best ways possible.

All thoughts of patrolling went out the window the moment Sirius' lips touched hers. 

Was this why parents told girls to stay away from boys? Kelsey wondered. 

She was in heaven as he kissed along her jawline and she frankly didn't care why she had stayed away for so long. Other than the fact that no one had made her feel that way to date and it still petrified her. This was none other than the very same boy who had been labelled as the Bane of her Existence until a few weeks ago.

"You really need to stop doing that," she said but tilted her head back to give him better access to her neck regardless.

"Doing what?" he whispered hoarsely, as he continued sucking on her neck.

"The hickeys," she sighed. Her eyes were closed to focus on the feeling of his lips on her neck once again.

She thought he'd be off avoiding her or planning something but here he was. She brought his face up to hers again, deepening the kiss when the classroom door suddenly burst open.

In the dark, Sirius immediately grabbed her hand and tugged her down to crouch on the ground while simultaneously reaching for the cloak he had discarded somewhere. He threw it over both of them as they stayed low.

He brought a finger up to his lip to tell her to keep quiet and she nodded.

"James, what are you- oh! James! Not here!" The unmistakable voice of Lily Evans echoed through the empty classroom as a horrified Sirius and Kelsey watched their friends stumble in with apparently the same idea.

Sirius should have known better. He never thought Prongs would actually use this hideout of his.

"James," they heard Lily warn followed by a soft sigh. There was a muffled response which neither of them could understand.

Kelsey peeked through the cloak, watching as much as she could without disgusting herself too much. This would be the stuff she brought up at their wedding one day. She wanted to get a clear picture.

"We can't be missing patrols. They report to _us_ ," Lily protested while half-heartedly trying to pry James' hands off of her.

Under the cloak, Kelsey pretended to puke while Sirius stifled a laugh.

"Fine. But you owe me, Evans."

"Maybe, I'll owe you, two Potter," They could hear the smirk in her voice.

Kelsey's eyes all but bulged out of her sockets as she tried not to think of the double meaning behind those words. Surely Lily wouldn't?

It was Sirius' turn to want to puke as he scrunched his face. It was like seeing a family member go at it. It made him want to _Obliviate_ himself. 

They remained low and hidden until they were sure the other couple was gone once Potter had reluctantly followed Lily out the door again. The coast was clear.

"Ugh, they'll be looking for me now," Kelsey got up from under the cloaking, dusting off her skirt. 

"Still got some time, I reckon," Sirius said, grabbing her by the waist and pushing her towards the Professor's desk at the front of the classroom.

"Sirius! Stop!" Kelsey squealed as quietly as she could. "What if someone comes back?" she asked as Sirius helped her sit up on the desk.

"Trust me, no one ever does. Not here," he murmured and going in to kiss her again when he was met with a steely look.

She was unsure and there were moments she still couldn't believe this was real. And then he said things like that that made her reconsider because it hurt her heart.

"Brought all your girls here, have you?" she asked.

He chuckled but she wasn't having it. "It's the classroom Wormtail and I use as a hideout spot from Filch," he explained to reassure her.

She looked at him looking for signs of trickery or lies. But there weren't any. But hold up. He was Sirius Black, a known wooer of the ladies. Hell, she had seen some of the best seventh years fall victim to his charms back when they were just sixth-years.

He took a deep breath before settling himself between her legs, standing up straight.

"Kelsey," he began.

"Black," she replied.

"I hate that you scare me like this," he admitted.

"I hate that you make me this way," she admitted too. "And you know I'm too smart to have my self-worth be questioned by players," she said with her nose up in the air, doing her best to sound haughty.

"Bugger," Sirius looked pained for a moment. "No. You're right and I'd never..Jones-" he broke off again. "-This is all still new to me. There are times I will say tosser-like shite. This is the exact kind of thing Moony had warned me against doing," he rambled on.

"For the love of-" Kelsey grabbed him by the collar and crashed his lips down on hers this time, kissing him with force.

"Must say, Jones," he grinned against her lips. "That last one in Minnie's class was original. Always knew you had it in you."

"I told you I wasn't going to go easy," she whispered back, biting his lower lip.

"Then you won't mind if I do this," he growled oh so enticingly that it didn't register. Not for a few moments. 

In the middle of their latest illicit misdoings, Kelsey didn't notice Sirius remove a metal contraption from his pocket. The feeling of his mouth back on her jawline and that of his one hand rubbing circles on her waist was doing crazy things to her. Such as setting her nerves on fire.

Which is why when Sirius used his other hand to lock one end of the handcuff to the Professor's chair next to her and the free cuff to her own, it took her some time to process.

Kelsey tried to reach both her hands to cup his face, but only one made the cut.

"Sirius what the-" Kelsey jerked her right hand but she was trapped. To the chair. With a pair of muggle handcuffs. The police kind.

"And before you go getting ideas in that pretty little head of yours," Sirius waved his wand at the chair, casting a Permanent Sticking Charm so that the chair wasn't going anywhere.

Such as the Hufflepuff common room. He wouldn't put it past her to drag it all the way back.

"I will END YOU SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" Kelsey's voice started rising as she frantically tried to feel for her wand in her pocket to undo the spell. It was a slow process since her dominant hand was now useless.

"Ah ah. Looking for this?" By now Sirius had placed considerable distance between the two of them. He held up her wand, taunting her with the sight of what would have been her ticket to freedom.

With a grin, he threw it to the corner of the classroom. Out of her reach.

She was fuming - absolutely seething in disbelief.

Watching her fury, as usual egged him on. He pretended to let out a huge yawn and stretched.

"Well, I'm not sure about you Jones, but I think I'll be off to get that beauty sleep now." He made to head for the door, picking the cloak off the floor.

"SIRIUS!! Don't you dare-"

"Oh and I don't know how you feel about rodents, but I have it on good authority from Wormtail that this part of the castle has the occasional infestation," he snickered gleefully, taking the time to pause at the door.

Sirius heard a shrill screech as Kelsey scrambled to lift herself up on the desk completely. 

Ϟ

_"Did you hear?"_

_The random no-name Ravenclaw sighed._

_It was his understanding that in the past few months, should anyone start a sentence with 'Did you hear?', there was a good chance it was about Kelpie Jones._

_He hadn't missed how she had shouted 'Stranger Danger' a few weeks back as Sirius Black dragged her off into a corridor to do Merlin knows what. He shuddered at the thought of what non-study related things those two were often up to._

_"What did she do now?" he asked._

_"Kinky Kelpie was fou- wait a minute, how'd you guess?" his friend asked, surprised._

_The guy rolled his eyes. "You were saying?"_

_Shaking his head, the other boy answered: "Kinky Kelpie was found handcuffed on a Professor's desk this morning."_

_"It's barely 7.30 am. When even-"_

_But before he could finish the sentence, the doors of the Great Hall burst open dramatically._

_"Great here we go again," his friend muttered as the sparse crowd of students turned to watch more drama unfold._

Sirius Black was sitting at the Gryffindor table with James. He admitted - it was an early start for him for he had been unceremoniously woken up by a furious Moony an hour ago. Apparently, when Kelsey was still missing in the morning when Astrid woke up, she had gone to Moony who had then connected the dots, remembering his friend's odd request.

Sirius had paid the price by listening to Moony express his disappointment while Prongs and Wormtail chortled in the dorm. Especially when they learned that she was found handcuffed sometime later. 

Kelsey's body ached. After Sirius had left her to fend for herself, she had spent the rest of her night, trying to sleep as best as she could on the table. The result was backache and one stiff neck.

She had been woken up by a scandalised-looking McGonagall who then proceeded to hand her two weeks' worth of detentions.

But now as she entered the Great Hall, bright and early, her drowsiness slipped away into a rage as she spotted Sirius at the Gryffindor table.

Sensing her murderous intentions, he looked over to her and sent her another one of his charming grins.

_Damn him and his stomach-fluttering looks. Did he have to look so effortlessly casual in the morning?_

With renewed determination, she walked over to him and Potter and lifted Sirius up by the collar before he could stop her.

"Got something to say, Jones?" he grinned smugly. Her eyes narrowed into slits. His face was only centimeters away and this was very much still a public place.

"Blimey Kelps," he cried out suddenly, purposely drawing more attention. "It's a little early in the morning to be getting rough innit? Although from what I hear, you've already had your fill of the kinky stuff last night," he said, making Potter next to him snicker.

Kelsey wanted to die as students started staring at her. 

Sirius could feel the flames radiating off of her and he had to admit. Riling her up was his favorite thing. She looked ready to slam her lips into him, he could feel the internal battle raging in her mind. The proximity was dangerous.

"Listen here you little shite-" _stop distracting me with those grey eyes,_ was how she wanted to complete that sentence but was distracted by the change in his expression.

"Ahem."

Kelsey let go of his collar, letting him fall back into his seat. She silently turned to face McGonagall who just looked down at her, even more disappointed than she had been when she had found her not even an hour ago in said classroom.

Back at the Hufflepuff table, Kelsey took a seat next to Astrid. She grabbed some toast and eggs off the table when she realised it was too quiet. Astrid was usually chirpy in the mornings.

"How come you didn't tell me you were seeing someone?" her best friend's voice quivered as she looked down at her plate.

Astrid met her gaze with tears in her eye. "And to think I had to find out about it from Doreen after I went through the trouble of trying to look for you! I thought we told each other everything!"

"Tatty - no!" Kelsey went to explain but how could she? What could she possibly say that justified her sneaking off to be with Sirius in a dark and deserted classroom. It was their illicit affair. "It's not what you think!" she called out as her friend stormed off her breakfast half-eaten. But it was of no use. 

Kelsey glanced at the Gryffindor table, where Sirius and Potter were now sitting. They kept looking over their shoulder at her with a triumphant look.

With lethal intent, she grabbed two boiled eggs and a fork.

She met Black's gaze and held it. With utmost precision she stabbed the egg, making it split in half as she watched Sirius' gaze fall to the metaphoric eggs in horror and he gulped. He adjusted his crotch area as discreetly to keep it out of her sight, afraid the egg would have a voodoo effect on him.

That was enough to get her through the day as she unwittingly re-debuted as Kinky Kelpie 2.0. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please vote and comment if you liked it!! And do share it with fellow Marauder nerds ;)
> 
> I'd love to hear any specific pranks you guys would love to read!! I'll see if I can incorporate them.


	32. Everything Has Changed

"I trust that the details of what we discuss today shall be kept quiet," said Dumbledore glancing around the room, taking extra time to pause at Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew through his half-moon glasses.

Lily looked nervously at the four boys, including her boyfriend, while Alice Prewitt and Frank Longbottom shared a look.

" _'Course_ Professor," James Potter spoke for the group.

"Given what Professor McGonagall briefed me about your post-Hogwarts plans or lack thereof-" Dumbledore looked at Sirius again.

"Albus," McGonagall interrupted. "Are you sure about this? I mean, they're still children and as their Head of House, I have concerns about their safety." Minerva looked more stressed than her usual self.

And rightly so. That was the general feeling about the castle that week as they neared the end of January. There had been two attacks reported in the papers since they had been back from break. There was a growing feeling of unease, only emboldened by the Slytherin taunts.

"Minerva, I wouldn't trust them if I didn't have faith in their abilities," Dumbledore said before he finally delved into the reason for this hushed meeting.

McGonagall tutted in displeasure but remained silent.

"I would like to talk to you today about the Order of the Phoenix," Professor Dumbledore's voice was calm as ever.

Ϟ

"Where were you?" Astrid asked suspiciously as Kelsey took her seat in Potions that Wednesday. She had been missing during breakfast.

"Wasn't hungry," Kelsey grunted, dropping her bag to the floor. She felt queasy. She had gotten up bright and early and headed over to the library before breakfast to get some studying and prank brainstorming done. But the sight of the morning's newspaper etched a sense of dread that had been growing inside her for the last two weeks.

There had been another attack targeted at a half-blood family for refusing to reveal information to _his_ followers. They, she and her friends, had heard all sorts of awful things about the miscreants known as the Death Eaters.

She was growing concerned over whether the enchantments she had left for her parents were enough. What if she too got a letter telling her something awful had happened? She couldn't bear the thought of going to breakfast after that.

To add to that she still had the rest of the week to serve out the last of her detentions for being caught handcuffed. While there were still a few students who shot comments at her about the issue, she had mostly forgiven Sirius for it.

She pursed her lips thinking of him. She tried finding him yesterday evening in the Gryffindor Common Room but he and his friends had been missing. She ended up doing homework with Marlene and Mary in the library while Astrid avoided her other than classes.

"James! Ssh!" Lily's worried voice made Kelsey look up to see her enter the classroom with the boys. The five of them seemed to be having a hushed conversation as she and Astrid watched confused. Kelsey tried to catch Sirius' eye but he avoided his gaze in an unusual move, as if afraid she would read his mind.

Slughorn entered soon after, making them break up and settle down in their seats too.

"What was that about?" Kelsey asked as soon as Lily took her seat with Mary across the table from them.

"Hmm?" Lily sounded distracted. "Oh, just, nothing."

"Why don't I believe you?" Kelsey narrowed her eyes. "Come to think of it, where were you yesterday evening? I know for a fact you weren't scheduled for patrolling duty."

"Just leave it, would you?!" Lily snapped.

Kelsey stared in shock. "Fine. Have it your way," she bit back and turned her attention to Slughorn.

Ϟ

"Oi Prongs, what did you put down for the third use of Asphodel in that essay?"

"Are you actually asking me?" James looked up from his essay in the common room. 

It was eleven in the night and the room was mostly empty, save a few seventh years including the blonde who Sirius had made a show of snogging in front of Kelsey after the first Gryffindor match. She kept looking over to the boys sneakily in hopes of catching one boy's eye.

"Moony isn't here." Sirius shrugged. "I think he's still in the library with Astrid and Mckinnon. They don't leave unless they're kicked out."

"Speaking of.." James put his quill down. "You haven't slipped up to Jones about anything, have you?" he confirmed once more.

Sirius let out a frustrated noise. "I'm offended by your faith in me, mate," he rolled his eyes and continued, "Nothing to fret though. I avoided Jones today."

"I still don't see why Dumbledore would think you'd spill anything to Jones. It's not like you're together, or anything.." His mate looked at him. "Were you sure that pulling that handcuff prank on the girl you fancy was the best idea? How did you even get that close to her? Last time we checked, she still hated your guts."

Sirius who had been grinning recalling the scene of her pressed up against him was forced to neutralise his expression. "I have my ways," he said. "Old Albie was probably worried I'd slip something during our squabbles. They do get heated," Sirius grinned.

"Uhuh," James said going back to his essay.

Sirius' thoughts went back to earlier that morning when she had tried to catch his eye. It was true. He had avoided her like _Spattergroit_ all day. He knew that she knew that something was up.

He also hated how accurate Dumbledore was to an extent in assuming that he would give in to Kelsey. How could he not? She had a way of getting things from him and now that they were whatever this was, he felt it was best to keep a little distance.

He didn't want to lie to her so all he could hope was that Dumbledore would eventually include her and Astrid in this Order thing as well. Evans had even brought that up since Kelsey was directly impacted by the Death Eater attacks as a muggle-born.

"Think he'll have them join? Won't be surprised if one day she comes barging into Old Albie's office," Sirius mused.

"Yeah. Female Satan has her ways," James shuddered. "She and Lily fought, you know."

"I heard," Sirius said distractedly.

"Apparently she and Astrid are in a tiff too."

At that, Sirius gulped because it was partially his fault. He knew it was because of how Astrid had stormed off that morning Kelsey had been caught because of his prank. Even though she forgave him, he felt guilty because he knew she wouldn't be telling Astrid about them yet.

"Night James. Goodnight Sirius," the blonde girl said in a sing-song voice, as she approached the spiral stairs up to the dorms.

"Later, Thompson," Sirius winked on instinct, eliciting a giggle from her as she disappeared up the stairs. Try as he might, he couldn't turn off the charm. It came to him naturally. Even if he had no ill intentions.

James frowned, throwing a quill at him.

"What the hell, mate?!

"I thought you were into Jones."

"I still am." Sirius leaned back down on the soda. "But there's no reason to not give the ladies what they want"

"Which is?"

"Some harmless flirting," Sirius shrugged.

"And what if you saw Jones doing the same with another bloke?"

"Easy, I'd hex the guy. Remember good ol' Benji?" he replied casually to which Prongs looked at him with an _'Are you kidding me'_ looking.

The realisation hit Sirius.

Bugger.

"Prongs, do you think I can undo flirting?" Sirius asked.

"You tell me, mate. You're the Heartbreak Prince, no?" James' attention was back on his essay.

Ϟ

"And then he winked at me and said 'Later Thompson'. I know he said what happened after that one game was a one-time thing. But I think he wants to get back." The two girls giggled for the hundredth time.

Kelsey's nostrils flared in annoyance as she aggressively dipped the quill into the ink.

Was there no sacred place to study anymore?! This was a library for Merlin's sake. She didn't come here to listen to giggly girls gush about their crushes. She had enough troubles of her own. 

"Do you _like_ mind?!" She hissed at the duo.

The two girls scoffed, "Rude."

"Just ignore her, Cathy. She's just upset no boy pays attention to her," the blonde girl's friend said.

"Oh and I'm just dying to know what has you giggling like a bunch of third-year girls discovering what a dick is," Kelsey was open to testing her verbal jibes. It would be a nice distraction from her inability to complete the darn Asphodel essay.

They turned red at her crudeness but they held up the air of superiority still.

"I'd love to know who the poor bloke that got hit by a bludger so hard that he decided to grace you with his sub-par flirting skills," Kelsey continued to taunt. It hadn't been the best week for her and she was itching for a fight.

"Sirius Black!"

The smug smile never left the two girls' faces as Kelsey's faltered.

"As if," it was Kelsey's turn to scoff. They had to be lying. She decided petty gossip wasn't worth her effort.

"As if yourself, Kelpie. See, I told you she wouldn't understand," Kelsey heard in the background as she got up shakily and started packing up her things.

"Ugh, remember when we'd see her running after Benjamin? Pathetic!" She turned her back to them, determined not to show them her wavering expression. "Nevermind that. Do you think this means he might ask you out for Valentine's Day? The Hogsmeade trip is in two weeks," Cathy's friend asked.

"Who knows," Cathy drawled. "Either way, I'll still have a better time than Kelpie Jones. With one Sirius Black."

No. That wasn't it. There had to be an explanation for it. It was simple, she would ask him and they'd talk it out. A misunderstanding at best. Kelsey rushed out of the library to her Care of Magical Creatures class.

"Si-Black wait!" Kelsey caught up to Sirius after class.

Why was he in a hurry to rush from Care of Magical Creatures? They had barely been able to talk the last few days.

"Jones," he said coolly, looking at Remus.

"Can we talk?" she said.

"Now?" he laughed nervously.

Why wouldn't he look at her?

"Yes," she demanded. He shrugged casually but walked over to a corner of the corridor with her. She missed the warning look that Remus gave him, emphasizing that he best not spill anything.

"What happened?"

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked.

"You've been avoiding me," she pointed out.

"What? No!" he pfft-ed. "We see each other every day," he looked at her.

"You aren't a good liar," she tried to play it off jokingly but it fell flat as her own voice betrayed her. "What happened? Ever since that day the five of you went missing in the evening for a few hours, you've been acting strange," she said.

She wouldn't do it. She wasn't going to cry over a boy.

"Look I really have to go, Moony's waiting," he nodded over to Moony and Astrid waiting for him down the corridor.

He stilled and sighed. "Look I can't tell you. Yet. It's nothing to do with you, right? We're good," he said, giving her a tight smile. "Give me a few days. Things are," he put up a finger to Moony as if to say ' _One-minute'_ ,"..tense in the Gryffindor Common Room."

"Sirius," she whispered, holding on to the sleeve of his robe.

"Not now, Kels," he whispered back, patting her on the arm once. He walked away without looking back twice. She stared at his back. 

His hair had grown a little longer, she noted. Things were changing so fast.

_"I think I'll grow it out," Sirius had said as he sat with his head on her lap._

_"Oh?" she said, running her hands through his curls, soothingly massaging his scalp._

_"Grow it into a fine ponytail," he had looked straight up at her, his grey eyes piercing straight through._

_"You wouldn't!" She giggled. "I think you're more of a man bun, type of guy myself," she stuck her tongue out at him._

_"Yeah? You'd like that, would you, love?" With a smirk, he got up suddenly quickly pressing his lips to hers upside-down, before laying his head back on her lap._

_"What was that?" she asked, a blush creeping up._

_"Isn't that how they kiss in your muggle books? All funny and romantic?"_

_Kelsey rolled her eyes. "I'd hardly call kissing someone with your face upside-down romantic, Sirius."_

_"Then they could learn a thing or two." He opened his mouth and Kelsey popped a grape in which he happily chewed._

_"Yes, of course. I'm sure they'd use the jaw-breaking upside-down kiss move in a superhero movie should they ever make those. I can all but imagine Peter Parker and Mary Jane lip-locked in a sensational Sirius Black-styled, upside-down snog," Kelsey giggled but leaned down to kiss him nevertheless._

She was only drawn out of her memory when she felt her vision blur. Surprised, she blinked the tears away, before Remus and Astrid who were still watching her watch Sirius walk away.

She took a deep breath and masked her face with a deep look of concentration. Silently fuming, she stalked off in the opposite direction, shoving aside a fifth-year sniggering Slytherin in the process.

"Five points from Slytherin!" she barked at the kid.

"You filthy mudbl-"

"Ten points from Slytherin!" she yelled out without stopping to look at the boy.

She was on a warpath.

The rest of the day passed with her avoiding classes, the library, dinner, and even skipping detention to hide out in an empty classroom in the Divination Tower. Only when she had managed to calm down from the impending tears and rage and frustration, she made her way back to civilisation.

Were feelings supposed to hurt this much? She thought to herself as she stepped into their dorm room which was empty save for Astrid who was staring at the ground in horror silently.

"Astrid?" Kelsey asked unsurely but her friend remained silent.

Were they still even friends? Kelsey's heart hurt. Between Sirius and Lily and Astrid, she wasn't going to have any friends save Mary and Marlene, who she always worried only put up with her because of the others.

"Tatty?" she asked more softly this time to which Astrid finally raised her head. It looked as if she had seen a ghost.

Astrid got up, appearing determined all of a sudden. She grabbed her trunk from under her bed and threw it open and started shoving clothes from the drawer into it.

"Tatty," Kelsey walked over to her, now a little scared.

What happened? What could have gone so wrong in the six hours she had been MIA.

"Tatty!" Kelsey grabbed Astrid's hand to physically stop her from filling her trunk. "What're you doing?!"

"I'm leaving," she stated, snatching her hand out of her grasp and continuing.

"Oh my god, stop!" Kelsey shrieked, this time grabbing the trunk off the bed and throwing it on her own. She grabbed Astrid by the shoulders and forced her to sit down again.

"I messed up Kels," she croaked.

Astrid bit her lower lip, thinking over something. Her blonde curls looked messy as if she had run her hands through them several times.

She opened her mouth to speak once. Twice. But no sound came out. Then the third time, it was barely a hoarse whisper:

"I called him _Daddy_ again." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please vote and comment and share if you like! Poor Astrid *wipes fake tear* and err Kelsey too I guess. 
> 
> Who here remembers that iconic Spiderman kiss, or are y'all that young that it just went woooooosh? *cries in 2002* I remember seven year old me being scandalised by that in the theatres. 
> 
> So things will be a bit canon divergent, with respect to the Order. But you'll see. I mean it's a fanfic. So ya know.


	33. The Archer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Previously on Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince:
> 
> "I messed up Kels," Astrid croaked. She opened her mouth to speak once. Twice. But no sound came out. Then the third time, it was barely a hoarse whisper:
> 
> "I called him Daddy again."

It took a whole minute before Kelsey responded and she only did when she was sure that what she had heard was indeed correct.

"By _him_ you mean.." Kelsey said just to confirm.

"Remus," Astrid looked at her wide-eyed, mortification seeping from every pore.

It took some effort to not double over in laughter. Astrid's pained look did the trick. The blonde continued to eye the suitcase that Kelsey had snatched away.

"And your response is to pack your bags and leave?!" Kelsey exclaimed.

"Says the girl who was ready to drown herself in the Black Lake two months ago!" Astrid shrieked hysterically.

The two girls were silent for a moment before Astrid lunged for her trunk on Kelsey's bed to which Kelsey responded by physically trying to stop her.

"I am going to leave this school, move to Bulgaria, and live as a nun," Astrid proclaimed, reaching for the trunk just as Kelsey body-slammed into her, pinning her down.

"No you're not," Kelsey went to grab her friend's hands.

"It's only befitting given the sinful ways of how I conduct myself in my friendship with him. I'm a harlot!"

"Yeah?" Kelsey breathed. "Well, join the club! Kinky Kelpie and Friends. You can be my new vice-president." She went to swat Astrid's hand away from the trunk by hitting her arms.

They continued their squabble until Astrid somehow managed to knock Kelsey off of her by slamming her head back and hitting her friend in the nose.

Kelsey fell back with an _Ouch!_ to which Astrid panicked and shuffled over to check her injury.

"Kels! Oh my, Helga! I'm so sorry!!" Astrid started fussing over her when -

"WHAT IN THE-?!" Doreen, one of their dorm-mates yelled as she entered the room only to see Kelsey lying on her bed, clutching her nose with Astrid hovering over her with both their uniforms ruffled and both extremely red in the face.

Astrid squeaked.

"Ishh noff whaff it looffs lyfe," Kelsey sent a sheepish smile, her voice muffled as she tried to ignore the pain.

Ϟ

"Uh Moony.." Sirius began, sounding unsure as he stared at what he couldn't believe on the Marauders Map. But his friend didn't respond. He had been really distracted since the moment he had gotten back to the dorms that evening.

"Moony," Sirius now poked him.

"What, Padfoot?" he snapped.

"Am I going barmy or are Astrid and Kelpie's footprints really _awfully_ close on the map?" Sirius said.

"What?!" Remus snatched the map from his hand only to stare at the two sets of footprints that seemed to be overlapping in one of the Hufflepuff dorms.

Remus gulped as his mind wandered to an hour earlier. A blush immediately crept on his face and he shut the map close in a hurry, banishing any untoward thoughts about Astrid.

Ϟ

"So let me get this straight.." Kelsey began.

One quick _Episkey_ to the nose later, Astrid and Kelsey now sat on their respective beds while Kelsey tried to understand the whole hullabaloo about this predicament.

"You guys were walking back to the dorms."

Astrid nodded solemnly.

"And the scene kinda went like this.."

_"You didn't have to carry that, you know," Astrid took the extra books from Remus' hands as he held them out. He had been kind enough to walk her back to her dorms after their study session with Marlene. "I'm the one who decided to check out all these books."_

_"After I told you about them," Remus sent Astrid a sheepish smile to which she turned her face away to hide her blush._

_Yes, it had been a few months and it seems that what started off as an innocent crush was now a heart-thumper every time she was near him._

_"Such a gentleman," she grinned back. "Kelsey's right. You four are a weird bunch."_

_Remus chuckled, "Don't get me started. You'd hardly be surprised at the types of things I've had to bail them out of in the last seven years."_

_Astrid shuffled her feet nervously. He hadn't left yet. Was he dawdling on purpose? Then again, he didn't even have to offer to walk her back. Was this just Remus being nice or.._

_"You won't believe this one time Padfoot got caught by Filch.." Astrid focused on him again as he recounted the time he had to help Sirius and a girl he had been locked in a closet with after-hours, escape the caretaker in fifth-year._

_"The scandal," she giggled, imagining it in her head._

_"Scandal indeed. He does have his way with the ladies." He ruffled the back of his head with a shy smile. She couldn't believe that he didn't have more girls pining after him. Her eyes traced his sharp jawline and rugged features. His calm demeanour only added to his personality._

_She never realised when she had become a goner. But sharing knowing looks with him over Sirius and Kelsey over the years had given them this inexplicable bond._

_"I don't get it," she blurted out and Remus looked at her confused. "I'd think you'd have girls after you too."_

_Kelsey's voice beckoned her. 12 Ways to Woo a Marauding Werewolf - Step 7: Coy flirting and sultry vibes._

_'Be bold!' Kelsey's voice in her head told her._

_"What?" His hand stilled._

_"I mean..isn't there someone you'd like.." Astrid lowered her voice as best as she could and leaned in closer. "..someone to call you Daddy in bed?"_

_She saw Remus freeze in shock, the moment she knew she had messed it up bad. He gulped, his Adam's apple bobbing as he searched for an appropriate response._

_It was a trick question, Astrid realised. There wasn't any appropriate response to her unholy insinuation._

_Petrified on the spot, she turned around without bothering to wait for his reply and rushed into the common room, squeaking out the password. She was never leaving._

"Why Tatty, why?!" Kelsey slammed her head on her pillow in disbelief. The second-hand embarrassment was too much.

"I don't know. I was trying to flirt," Astrid said meekly.

"You cannot proceed to Part 7 of '12 Ways to Woo a Marauding Werewolf' without doing steps 1-6!" Kelsey scolded her.

"Well, I know that _now_ ," Astrid huffed before dropping her face to her hands again. "How am I ever going to face him again?"

"Maybe we should head over to the grounds instead," Kelsey said.

"Why?" Astrid furrowed her eyebrows.

"So we can find a hole for you to crawl into and die in," Kelsey giggled finally, to which Astrid finally smiled.

"Shut up," she said. "Need I remind you that just two months ago-"

"- I was about to drown myself in the Black Lake, yes you said that already." Kelsey finished before frowning.

Maybe it was time she came clean?

"It was partly your fault you know?!" Astrid cried. "I was thinking about our fight and your whole handcuff situation and really Kelsey? That's a bit kinky to be testing in public school spaces isn't it?"

It was Kelsey's turn to groan. "About that," she gulped. If Astrid hadn't murdered her before, she was about to.

"Although I guess it's better to do that in an empty classroom than the dorms we share." Astrid tapped her chin in thought.

"It was Sirius who 'cuffed me."

Astrid huffed. "Don't be like that. You can't expect me to believe that he is responsible for everything wrong in your life. How did he even get that close to you?"

Kelsey took a deep breath: "Werekindasortanotreallyseeingeachother."

"Come again?" Astrid gaped at her.

"We're kinda sorta not really seeing each other."

"You minx!" Astrid grabbed a pillow and threw it at Kelsey who dodged.

"Well, not that it matters anymore," she turned somber.

"What do you mean?" Astrid asked. Kelsey launched into an explanation of all that was currently going wrong in the last two days including what she overheard today and Sirius' sketchy behaviour.

"It's just them being petty and making up false things," Astrid assured her about the Gryffindor girls. Cathy had a skill for blowing things out of proportion.

Kelsey shook her head. "Doesn't matter. We've more important things to do. Such as wooing that Marauder."

Kelsey had decided that she had dwelled on her own problems enough. To a point of fault that she had started ignoring Astrid and her other girlfriends' issues. Some friend she was. She was going to set it right if it was the last thing she did.

"Can we come up with a better name for that?" Astrid groaned.

"Nope," Kelsey chuckled. "It's what I'm going to title your romance novel when I write it Tatty." At this Astrid finally laughed.

"Reckon I can get the Muggle relations department to make a Mills and Boon-esque series targeted at Witches?"

Astrid, who remembered the scandalising novels Kelsey had shown her last year, rolled her eyes. "Only you Kels, only you."

But Kelsey wasn't listening. The gears in her head were already turning at how she'd get Remus to talk to Astrid again. Willingly. Without running away. She had a feeling that Remus did like her back but was too chicken to do anything.

There was only one way to confirm it. She dreaded the realisation: She needed to include one of the remaining three boys in the plan.

Ϟ

"Walker, I know I'm irresistible but I should warn ya, I don't see you that way if that's what your intentions for getting me in this closet are," the cocky voice of one Sirius Black was heard. " _Not to mention Moony'd eat me next full moon,_ " a softer mumble was then heard.

He opened the cupboard nevertheless to be met with Kelsey's burning gaze as his smile dropped at his own joke. Astrid gave Kelsey a warning look from behind him.

"Come to think of it, I think I have somewhere to be," he made up a hasty excuse and was about to leave when Kelsey grabbed him by the robes and pulled him into the cupboard with Astrid entering behind him.

This was unfortunately the only way to drag Sirius away since he was still avoiding her.

"Look, Black.." Kelsey wasn't having it today. Sirius winced at the use of his surname, his heart dropping a little as the girl of his affections cold-shouldered him. "..can we forget the fact that 'you're not ignoring me but ignoring me' and try to help Astrid here?"

Sirius scoffed. "Why would I do that?" He crossed his arms.

"Because if you don't, getting painful boners in class will be the last of your problems," she threatened, making Astrid giggle. Sirius looked at Astrid and then back at Kelsey who shrugged. Kelsey had filled her friend in on the details of their illicit meetings after making her promise that she couldn't breathe a word of it to anyone.

"I still can't believe it. You two," Astrid said in awe, making Sirius smirk as he went to wink at Kelsey before remembering that he was supposed to be staying away temporarily.

"Moving on," Kelsey prodded. "Black, we'll need your help. Since Potter and Pettigrew are out of the question."

"Fine. But only because I want in on why Moony has been acting weird." Sirius decided. "It has to do with him, doesn't it? He's been acting funny for a few nights."

Astrid appeared wary but Kelsey nudged her with a silent look.

"Fine. Here's what happened.." Astrid began.

Ϟ

"Do you think he'll say yes?" Sirius whispered in Kelsey's ear at the Hufflepuff table a day before the Valentine's Hogsmeade trip. Kesley felt goosebumps from his closeness. They were still in the middle of their non-fight fight.

"He better, or I'll hex him to the next full moon," she said.

They both stared at Astrid who shyly approached Remus at the Gryffindor table. She sent Kelsey a panicked glance but Kelsey gave her the _'Get over yourself and do it'_ look while Sirius thumbs up-ed her for encouragement. Astrid took a shaky breath and sat down next to him.

"You're staring," Sirius pointed out, as she watched them get into a conversation. Their two friends were turning all sorts of red as Astrid now went to profusely apologizing with hand gestures and all, accidentally knocking over pumpkin juice on Remus.

"Kelsey," he said. "They'll be fine."

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" Her eyes were still glued to the trainwreck

Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him.

"Kelsey," he said once, his gaze dropping to her lips.

Kelsey's heart hammered and her gaze flicked to around them as if to see if anyone had looked their way.

Sensing her unease, he let go putting some distance between them.

"I'm sorr-" he was cut-off by Astrid suddenly coming back to pick up her things.

"What'd he say? What happened?" Kesley hissed excitedly.

Astrid continued blushing. "A lady doesn't kiss and tell."

"What? YOU KISSED?! When?" Kelsey leaned a little to see Remus getting up at the Gryffindor table. "Sirius this is all your fault!" She smacked him in the arm.

"Bugger, Jones. It's a figure of speech" Sirius rubbed his arm.

"Kelsey shush! I'll tell you later. For now, peace out!" Astrid left to join Remus who was waiting for her.

"Traitor!" Kelsey called out as Astrid walked out of the hall. "I raised you! I taught you my 70s slang!"

But Astrid didn't bother looking back.

Chuckling to herself, she went to leave also, not wanting to be near Sirius given his lack of enthusiasm, no matter how much she wanted to stick around.

But he stopped her. "Listen. Can we talk-"

"Jones," Potter cut in.

Sirius groaned in frustration letting her hand drop. Would someone give him a break? He was trying to do the right thing and apologise for being a tit.

"What?" she snapped although she was internally thankful for his interruption.

"Can we talk?" Potter asked nervously. He kept fidgeting with the hem of his robes.

"Now?"

"Yes?"

Kelsey huffed as if she had important things to do at which James resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"I need your help-" Kelsey snorted, making him click his tongue in annoyance. "- I want to ask Lily out on a Valentine's Day date. You know muggle style," he said.

"Aren't you guys like already a thing," Kelsey was getting annoyed. Here she had friends getting ready to ask each other out for Valentine's Day when her own plans and relationship status was undecided. She sent a furtive glance at Sirius who was still next to her and banished such thoughts.

"Please Jones, I really want to make this perfect for her," he looked desperate and Kelsey gave in.

"In case you forgot we're not talking right now."

Instead, Potter gave her his best pout to which Kelsey found herself smiling. Sirius let out another frustrated noise, at being ignored.

"I guess I could find a way to include you too."

"Wicked!" Potter and Sirius high-fived each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please vote, comment, share!! 
> 
> Fun fact: '12 Ways to Woo a Marauding Werewolf' may or may not be a sequel I'm sorta working on for Astrid and Remy boy ;)


	34. New Romantics

_Bum_ _-_ _bum_ _-_ _bum_

_Hair as red as blood  
_

_With forest-green eyes  
_

_Bum_ _-_ _bum_ _-_ _bum  
_

_He'll be the Prince Charming  
_

_To your Snow White_

A groggy Lily Evans took in the scene in front of her the next day, Saturday morning. It was too early for their nonsense. "What the-"

_Bum_ _-_ _bum_ _-_ _bum_

_So close your eyes  
_

_and be surprised!  
_

_As Prongs takes you off to Paradise!_

Lily watched Sirius do a dramatic jazz-hand as he handed over the centerstage to James who was now kneeling on the ground with flowers.

_Bum_ _-_ _bum_ _-_ _bum_

_Will you be my Valentine?_

A bright flash went off. Kelsey snapped a picture of James Potter and Sirius Black in the stereotypical red and white striped barbershop quartet costume as they finished serenading Lily Evans in the Gryffindor Common Room at nine in the morning on the day of the Hogsmeade trip.

Lily's face was red as a tomato - or should one say blood-red like her hair. She had the ruffled look of having just woken up. Her pink matching pyjamas completed the outfit and she stared at the two boys in disbelief at the bottom of the dorm stairs.

A grin broke out and Lily doubled over in laughter at the sight of James Potter in the white fedora with a brown cane. He was still kneeling on the ground with the flower, now using the cane for support to keep himself in position.

James looked at her expectedly waiting for a response as Sirius next to him tugged at the collar of his striped shirt.

Two minutes later she still hadn't stopped laughing, while a few snickers went about the Common Room, fellow muggle-borns who recognised it for what it was. James Potter and Sirius Black dorking it out as an acapella duo. With the presence of the unusual Hufflepuff in their midst, it wasn't a surprise how this had come to be.

"Jones!" Potter yelled to see Kelsey smirking with a camera in her hand. To say her plan had gone as expected would be an understatement. It had gone brilliantly. In addition to wooing Lily, she also got a little _somethin' somethin'_ to blackmail Potter and Black with in the future.

"You know these pictures will come in handy one day when I tell the story of how ickle Potter seduced Lily for their very first Valentine's Day date with his manly moves," snickered Kelsey.

It was Sirius' turn to get embarrassed as a few other students who were also lazing about the common room, kept looking at his outfit head to toe. He couldn't believe he had been duped into wearing this!

"Oh, you are so dead, Jones," Sirius walked over to her, undoing the bow-tie, with a playful grin of his own.

Kelsey shrieked and was about to make a break for it when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. Fellow Gryffindor residents hastily made their exit as they sensed another full-blown Kelpie versus Black brawl brewing. As Kelsey went to push him away, Lily finally sobered up enough.

"Yes," said Lily.

Sirius stilled with Kelsey in his arms. They smiled at James who got up and strode over to his girlfriend relieved and pulled her into a passionate kiss.

Smile faltering, Kelsey cleared her throat, prying Sirius' arms off her. He reluctantly let go. The last twenty-four hours of helping Potter and Sirius had made her forget their edgy behaviour with her. Astrid hadn't interrupted her as she launched into a full-blown plan to help and embarrass Potter. 

Of course, she knew Lily would say yes. She still decided to have fun with it for the handcuff thing.

"Oi, get a room," Remus entered, physically breaking the head boy and head girl apart as he walked right between them.

"Great idea, mate. What do you say, eh Evans?" James smirked at her, making her shake her head with a smile on her face.

"I," Lily tiptoed to peck James on the lips. "Need to get ready for this date. I'll meet you outside in an hour. Some help, Kelsey?" Lily asked, surprising Kelsey. She nodded slowly and followed Lily up the stairs. They had much to catch up on.

Ϟ

Kelsey watched fondly as Lily and Potter left through the courtyard to the gates on their way to the village. Astrid and Remus had already left earlier. She eyed the couples and soon-to-be couples as they headed out on their dates.

A twinge of longing went through her. Nevermind that, she had decided to use it to catch up on NEWTs now that she had some peace finally. As she walked back into the castle, she found the very same person she wanted to bury herself in books to forget - Sirius Black.

"Prongs leave yet?" he asked, leaning against the castle wall.

She didn't even stop but answered as she walked on, "Just now."

"Splendid!"

And just like that, he was right next to her, holding her hand. He started leading her in the opposite direction from where Kelsey had meant to go.

"What are you doing?" She dug her heels.

"Did you honestly think, I'd forget about you?" He sent her one of his heart-melting smiles.

Kelsey didn't know if she wanted to laugh or cry at the absurdity of this.

"Honestly, Sirius. I don't know anything about you these last two weeks," her expression softened. "Figured you'd be off with Cathy," she spat the name and tried to pull her hand out of his but he held on. She hated how it fit nicely in his.

A flicker of doubt went through his eyes. "We need to talk," he said matter-of-factly.

"We can talk right here." She was getting impatient. She crossed her arms and stared at him, in no mood to joke.

"Please?" He pouted his lips but she remained stoic. He narrowed his eyes and considered his options. He can't believe he had messed it up this bad. Moony told him that he doubted Dumbledore meant ignoring her altogether, but Sirius had realised it too late.

"Fine then I guess you leave me no choice." Sirius knew that this idea was crazy and bordering on dangerous if he got caught. But he saw it as the last option to get Kesley to come with him. He was desperate.

So, he took out his wand and tapped it on himself, mumbling the incantation. He maintained a sly grin as Kelsey watched him shrink in size suddenly, horror dawning upon her face.

Padfoot yelped, nipping once at Kelsey's ankles before taking off down the corridor.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" she hissed but Padfoot was about to disappear from her sight. Glancing around to make sure no one had seen that, she quickly gathered the clothes and his wand from the ground and followed.

Ten minutes later, Sirius had them standing in front of an empty wall.

"I can't believe that you _like_ just did that," Kelsey angrily scolded him. She was trying to forget the mental image of him reanimating into his human form. She had covered her eyes just in time to see him laughing at her as he took the clothes she held out for him.

_Dispel all unholy thoughts of that body,_ she told herself. _It's his MO. Distracting her with his irresistible good looks._

He paced back and forth in front of an empty corridor on the seventh floor, muttering under his breath, while Kelsey remained confused. Out of nowhere a door appeared and Kelsey was convinced she was imagining things. Just when she thought the school couldn't get more peculiar. He looked satisfied with the result and then opened the door for her.

"After you, m'lady," he bowed dramatically.

Kelsey narrowed her eyes at him and then peeked inside. She could see a decorated room and the smell of doughnuts hit her, making her drool instantly. 

"Fine. But only because I smell chocolate. You can pry the food from my cold, dead, chocolate-ty hands!" she stated before entering.

The room was decorated in Valentine-themed knick-knacks. There was a table with food on one end, a plush looking makeshift couch/bed on the other. It looked as if Madame Pudifoot's had thrown up in here. But not grossly so.

"Where'd you find this place?" she asked in awe.

"It's the Come and Go Room. Not many know about it. You certainly can't enter it if it's in use."

"But t-this?" Kelsey spotted a small shelf with books and certain rare comics. She excitedly flipped grab the comic and flipped through it.

"The room adjusts itself to the needs of the requester," he explained.

"Cloak. Room. Animagi." A thought came to her and she put the book down. "Got a lot of secrets don't you four?" she said icily.

Sirius sighed and wrapped his arms around her, with his front pressing against her back. There was still the matter of the Marauders Map he hadn't told her about yet. But that was a decision they had to come to between the four boys. "I'm sorry," he lowered his forehead on her shoulder and mumbled into her hair.

She stiffened.

"Sirius." This time her voice was quieter. "What are we?"

He placed a small kiss on her shoulder and she instantly hated how she liked it.

"Whatever you want us to be, love," he said honestly.

"I-I don't know anymore," she said shakily. Three weeks of bliss and two weeks of uncertainty with him had shaken her. They also had six years of history that had led to this point. "What do _you_ want us to be?"

She was afraid he'd pick Cathy or Chelsea or Dorcas.

"I want you to be mine," he blurted out without thinking for a moment. This time stilled as he processed what he just said.

Kelsey turned to face him at the revelation, searching for trickery in his words but there weren't any. He looked at her like the sun shined out of her ass as he waited for her response. She raised an eyebrow with a small hint of a smile.

"N-Not that you're a thing or object to own," he started rambling. "That Cathy thing was a misunderstanding. I swear I haven't looked at another girl since we..you know.." he broke off, running a hand through his hair.

Kelsey watched in amusement. Did she just break him?

"It's just sometimes I can't turn off the charm y'know. It comes naturally. But I swear I'd never-" he stopped talking when he heard the unmistakable sound of a giggle.

"Such a charmer, aren't you?"

He grinned and wrapped a hand around her waist. "Only for you, Jones," he kissed her for the first time in weeks. It was as if he had found his oasis in the middle of a desert.

With an encouraging moan, she kissed back, letting out weeks of frustration into it as she took charge.

Ϟ

"Made, you worry, did I?" he murmured. He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear to get a clearer view of her face. "About that. It's just-"

"-Dumbledore, yeah I know," Kelsey sighed.

"Last two weeks were hell," he admitted.

"It was strange not arguing. I mean," Kelsey scrunched her face. "Technically, we were arguing but never like that. You know.." she trailed off.

With a grin he sat up, pulling Kelsey with him.

"You have no idea, Jones," he cupped her face and brought his lips down on hers again. As always, she responded eagerly.

"Missed. This," he said between kisses along her jawline. Kelsey's eyes fluttered close as her stomach and she started getting hot all over. She leaned into his touch, her hands placed flat against his chest, clutching his shirt.

"Missed. You," he snuck a hand under her tee and wrapped his hand around her bare skin, making her gasp at the contact. They were both pretty much still in their sleepwear.

As the fire spread through, she knew what she wanted.

"Sirius," Kelsey whimpered and went to straddle him, taking him by surprise.

She sat there with her knees on either side of him as he looked up at her, elbows propped on the makeshift bed. He took in the sight of her on top of him, breathing heavy, as his grey eyes bore into hers.

"Always knew you weren't a Bottom, Jones," he commented cheekily. He couldn't help it.

Kelsey bit her lower lip and his gaze automatically dropped to it. He brought a hand up to tug it free to which she sucked in his thumb instead making him groan.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked. He needed to ask her because he knew that he would be left with the bluest set of family jewels if they were to stop after this.

There was also the whole matter of the secret he and his friends were still keeping from her about the Order. But that was an idea he pushed to the back of his mind for now. She seemed to understand as it currently stood.

Kelsey leaned over him as he flattened completely low against the bed. His hands went to steady her hips, tracing patterns over her pyjama bottoms.

"Yes," she breathed as he now started sucking on her neck, fully pushing her hips down against his own bulge. "Are you?" she confirmed once again.

"As I'll ever be," he said looking up at her, sure as ever.

His eyes never left hers even once as they peeled off layers one at a time.

"Fuck me," Sirius whispered in awe as he stared at her. 

With a roguish grin she replied: 

"Don't mind if I do, Black." Her voice was low in his ear as she then nibbled his ear and all sense of control went out the window.

With a grunt, he jerked his hips up making her bounce once before she burst into a giggle. Matching her enthusiasm he sat up once more and kissed her deeply.

"Looks like I'll be taking that V-Card after all," she murmured, wrapping her hands around his neck.

_'It's not the only thing you'll be taking,'_ he thought as he stared at her coy expression in wonder.

"Huh?" her eyebrows furrowed. She didn't know what to make of the confession he had just mumbled.

Instead of replying, he pulled her down with him. They fell back on the bed tangled in each other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Please vote, comment, and share!! Thank you for the 3K reads <3
> 
> In case it wasn't obvious, I suck at making up lyrics. Welp.


	35. dorothea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reminder that the chapter titles are LITERAL and do NOT allude to the meaning behind the song in this story.

"Sirius."

Something sharp stung Sirius in the chest. It felt like a light slap. He groaned and turned away. It was too early for this.

"Sirius." The person calling out his name now sounded a little more panicked. He felt a hand reach him and turn him back. A pillow hit him in the face hard and he woke up pretty much instantly.

"What the-" His eyes shot open and he went to glare at the person next to him but he stopped when he saw Kelsey Jones, half-naked, hopping on one leg as she pulled a sock up her feet while standing up. She stopped to throw a pile of clothes over at him.

"We're late. Hurry up," she hopped on the other leg now, to repeat the same. Sirius slowly got up and sorted through his uniform. He noticed that her shirt was half-tucked into her skirt. Her robes lay over the edge of the bed in the Room of Requirement.

If someone had told him on the first day of classes that in a few months, he'd be jumping into bed with the literal enemy, he would have paid for their consultation at St. Mungos' psychiatry department. 

But now as he watched her, hopping around the room in a hurry trying to put on that darn piece of clothing on her foot - how was it taking her that long to do it? - he realised that it had been a long time in the making. Probably since the moment she flipped him off on day one. A girl truly after his own heart.

When Sirius took no initiative to get dressed Kelsey looked at him only to find him staring at her chest already.

"Don't mind me. Just admiring the view," he drawled lazily, sitting back on the bed, as her hopping only made her breasts bounce more.

"You perv!" she shrieked as she finally put on that sock.

"That wasn't what you were telling me last night," he replied, as images of their Tuesday night romp in the hay came to his mind. They had come a long way from their Saturday afternoon delight. It had only been three days and they had given in again. Teenage hormones and whatnot. Sirius also found out that he could be quite persuasive especially when he had her keening in frustration as he teased her. 

"Yes, well there won't be any of that if we don't make it to class. It's almost eight you ass!"

"WHAT?! Well, why didn't you say so?!" Sirius demanded. He got up and started throwing on his clothes in random fashion.

"Oh and you thought that I just happened to enjoy making a fool of myself?" she spat back in good fun.

"I mean, it wouldn't be the strangest thing you've done," he pretended to think. "Two words, Jones: Slobber. Chicken."

Kelsey groaned partly because he still happened to remember that ordeal and partly in frustration because she couldn't find the darn tie. She refused to dignify it with a response.

Kelsey saw a stringy material with a shine of yellow, or was it gold, and grabbed it.

"I swear to Merlin, if we get detention because of this-" Without looking at it, she knotted the tie.

He didn't look at her instead, searching for the second tie somewhere in the room.

"Then you'll be lucky to be in my presence," he found the other tie and put it on.

Not bothering to see how they looked, they ran a hand through their hair and threw on their robes over the uniform.

They both left the Room of Requirement in opposite directions that Wednesday morning as she rushed to their dorms to grab their books. As they both ran to Potions class that morning, they stopped at the door as they arrived at the same time. All in all, Sirius' decision for a Tuesday night date had gone splendidly. He just hoped that he wasn't missed much.

"You look like shite, Jones," Sirius smirked at her.

"Ever heard of a comb, Black?" she said and walked into class with her head held high.

_"I didn't hear any complaints last night when you had your fingers tangled in them,"_ she heard him mutter under his breath as he followed her in. A smile tugged at the corner of her lips but she managed to stop it. 

"Miss Jones, Mister Black," Slughorn greeted with a warning look five minutes into his lecture on Wolfsbane. "I'll allow it since it's just a little after class starting." He stared at them as they made their way to their respective tables.

"Where were you?" Astrid whispered as Kelsey put her books down.

"Just a little caught up," Kelsey mumbled, knowing that Lily was listening opposite them.

"You weren't at breakfast either," stated the red-head.

"Yeah. 'S what caught up means, Lils," Kelsey stuck her tongue out making her friend huff in exasperation. When Lily and Mary turned their attention back to the lecture, Kelsey winked at Astrid who got the message and blushed all the way up her cheeks.

Hot under her robes suddenly, Kelsey undid it and threw it over her bag on the ground.

"Uhh Kelsey," said Mary.

"Yeah?" Kelsey leaned over Astrid's notes to see where they were.

"Why are you wearing a Gryffindor tie?"

Kelsey's eyes shot up to look at Mary who was staring at the piece of cloth on her neck. She gulped and looked down.

"Kesley!" Lily chided in shock.

"Oi, what the hell mate?!" Across the room, Sirius suddenly got up from his stool, with James Potter holding on to Sirius' new black and yellow tie.

Lily gasped loudly drawing the entire class' attention to them. James too turned to look at them, his eyes bulging in shock when he noticed it.

"Students," Slughorn started but no teenager in that room was even looking at him anymore, their interest instead lying with the Case of the Mixed-up Ties. Watching the scene unfold in front of him, Slughorn sighed. He really wasn't paid enough for this. Yet, Dumbledore still refused to give him Professor Merrythought's old office.

_No, this wasn't happening._ Kelsey looked in horror as her eyes met Sirius' who looked just as uneasy there for a moment. He didn't say anything instead his gaze dropped to his tie on her neck and they understood what must have happened.

"Y-you, slut!" Not so unexpectedly, it was Dorcas who yelled that.

The harsh reality of why Kelsey had dreaded keeping it secret hit her.

_It was good while it lasted_ , she thought, tears prickling at the corner of her eyes. Without a word to confirm or deny anything, she picked up her bag. She threw one last look over her shoulder at Sirius who stood frozen, opening and closing his mouth as if deciding to say something. But he didn't.

Sirius watched Kelsey run out of the room as whispers broke out.

"Students," Slughorn said more assertively this time, finally quieting them.

Sirius' hand shook a little as he loosened the tie on his neck, remembering the distraught look on her face.

Should he go after her?

Did she still want to be with him?

What if she changed her mind?

"Padfoot," Remus' soft voice interrupted his trainwreck thoughts.

"What?" Sirius rasped.

"Go."

That was all the encouragement it took to have him packing up his things on the spot. He got up but sat back down again, before addressing Dorcas:

"For the record Dorcas, slut-shaming is _like_ such a turn-off," he hissed icily before finally taking off after Jones. He paused outside the class.

Where could she have gone?

The lake wasn't an option since it was still February. The classes would be filled. He walked down the corridor for a minute pondering it over.

He stopped and started running in the opposite direction. He knew where she was.

Ϟ

_Step 1: Change names and move to America_

_Step 2: Think of a new name_

Kelsey bit the edge of her quill in concentration as she noted down meticulous steps to her latest plan to drop out of Hogwarts and assume a new identity. She leaned back against the stone wall of the empty Astronomy Tower.

_Dottie_. The name came to her. Tatty and Dottie. Maybe if she convinced Astrid to join her, they could be the magical version of Bonnie and Clyde.

Dorothy? Dorothea? She penned down the names.

_Step 3: Teach Astrid about Bonnie and Clyde_

After her initial mortification had subsided, she was left with fury, as came with anything related to Sirius Black and her. She heard the sound of footsteps climbing the towers and shuffled to stuff the parchment away in her bag.

She was a second too late as the paper was ripped from her hand and Sirius Black took the empty spot on the floor next to her.

"You left before I could stop you."

"How'd you find me?" She kept her head down. There weren't any tears but she really wasn't in the mood to look at his pretty face that moment.

"Figured it'd be the one empty classroom right now," he poked her trying to get her to look at him but she didn't budge. "Didn't take a genius."

"Clearly," mumbled Kelsey, earning a tongue click from Sirius. "What do you want?"

"Well, for starters you do still have my tie," he chuckled. That earned him a cold glare.

"I'm serious," she held the urge to roll her eyes.

"No, _I'm_ Sirius," he grinned smugly. It earned him a small smile.

Kelsey sighed and leaned against the stone wall of the Astronomy tower.

"Why'd you run away?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

Sirius gave her an 'Are you kidding me' look before he looked at the parchment he had snatched out of her hand and skimmed it over.

"Dorothea? Really?" he held up the paper in disbelief. "Always flair for the dramatics isn't it, Jones?" he scooted closer to her.

"Well, I do learn from the best," she retorted. He raised an eyebrow to which she dared him to challenge her. Instead, he inched closer to her.

"Don't do that," Kelsey groaned, as deliberately bumped his hips into her.

"Do what?" he asked innocently.

"That," she said when he rested his head on her shoulder. "It's what got us in this mess in the first place."

"'By mess you mean?"

"My desire to wipe that stupid smirk off your face by smashing my face into yours!" she huffed.

"You wouldn't care to repeat that in front of Prongs and my mates now would you? I doubt he'll believe that you're crazy for me."

Kelsey scoffed, a little red at having revealed that. She needed to think of Step 4.

"I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a fork."

"Getting rust there, Jones. You used that one already in fifth-year." He had a dreamy glaze over his eyes suddenly.

Kelsey was this close to being embarrassed when she turned the table.

"Says the boy who's been secretly keeping track of things I say and do since fifth-year." It was her turn to smirk as his faded away. " _I_ think that you're the one who's crazy for me," she teased.

"What?! No-" Sirius sputtered.

"Aww. Is ickle Sirius in wuv wiv me?" she cooed, her mood instantly brightening at his embarrassment.

"What? You must be barmy! Shut it or else.."

"Hmmm," Kelsey pretended to think. "Make me." At the very last bit her voice dropped an octave lower.

"Fine," his lips barely grazed against hers as he watched her hitch her breath. Before she could figure it out he had her pinned under him after a masterful deployment of the most treacherous tactic - tickling.

She shrieked between laughs as he maintained his grip on her waist. From where he stood, it was the most angelic view. His heart tugged while he tried to name this feeling.

Kelsey snorted, trying not to choke on air as his hands by her sides assaulted her senses. It should be illegal to birth children this ticklish. She tried to swat his arms away but he kept on.

"Better give up Kelpie," he was hovering above her.

"Never in a million years."

Kelsey noticed that her heart seemed to be beating a little faster as he stared at her.

Sirius could have sworn that he'd stay like that if it meant watching the blush on her cheek.

"Admit it," his hands grazed down her sides. Even over the uniform, the contact left a warm tingling sensation. "You want me," he whispered the last bit once again dangling the temptation of his lips right above her face.

Kelsey was stubborn. It would be a cold day in hell before she broke first. "Maybe if you kiss me," she pouted.

Sirius smirked darkly, knowing the game she was playing. He slid a left hand down her body smoothly making her keen and bite her lip. Only they could go from arguing to discussing to whatever this was. He played with the hem of her skirt and his hand disappeared under it gracing him with a sharp intake of breath. Agonizingly slow he rubbed circles up her thigh.

"Then I guess we'll be waiting for quite a while then, won't we?"

And with that Kelsey almost hexed him when his hands moved, leaving a cold feeling of nothing on her upper thighs. She saw him get up, a tight smirk playing on his lips.

"You could have just said you wanted me," he pointed out.

"You could have just kissed me first," she replied breathlessly.

"I guess we'll have to see who breaks first." He eyed her sprawled on the ground.

She hummed in response as another idea came to her. Teasingly she closed her eyes and hitched up her skirt. With a shaky breath, she dragged her own hands down her body and then up her own thighs, following the same path Sirius had moments ago.

She opened her eyes expecting to see Sirius sporting the painful expression that accompanied a raging boner that she enjoyed taunting him with. She was met with nothing.

_That jerk had left her high and dry!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Two chapters in two days say whaaaa. Please vote, comment etc. if you're enjoying it!!
> 
> Also, slut-shaming: Not cool. Don't do it. 


	36. Only The Young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Don't forget to vote, comment! I'm so happy to see this story taking off. 

Sirius entered the boys' dorm looking a little traumatized.

"You alright there, mate?" Remus asked, noticing his distraught friend.

Sirius shuddered, thinking of the mob of girls who had hounded him downstairs just now. It wasn't an easy task on top of fighting the memory of a certain Kelpie Jones sinfully sprawled on the ground as she had been hours ago. He had spent the better part of the day banishing that memory every time he remembered her eyes closed in ecstasy.

"Peachy," he replied, a little croaky.

Prongs scoffed darkly.

"Potter," Sirius eyed him warily.

"Black," he replied just as coldly.

"Out with it, then!" Sirius remarked. He just wanted to get the inquisition over with.

"So I see you do have the ability to talk to us," James remarked shortly.

"What do you mean-"

"Must be nice, sneaking around with a girl leaving us all to worry about your strange behaviour. But nevermind that. As long as Sirius Orion Black was getting on with a bird-"

"Shut it!" Remus snapped the book shut. "Padfoot, Prongs is just angry that you didn't tell him. Although I don't know why he didn't listen to me when I told him something was up. You two weren't discrete, really."

Remus pointed a finger at James.

"And Prongs! Sirius clearly has the experience of a troll when it comes to real relationships. They're probably testing it out still and given their colourful history and figured we wouldn't react well. You know well as any of us how he's been pining after-"

"Oi, I did _not_ pine after anyone-"

"- Kelsey for a few years now. Maybe even day one," Remus crossed his arms staring at his two friends.

Both boys contemplated what had been said.

"So you didn't ignore us on purpose?" James spoke up.

"Never. You know you're like a brother to me, mate," Sirius took a step forward. "It's a long story I could tell you when we get time," he shuffled nervously.

"Idiots," Remus stared at the scene unfolding in front of him as the two now hugged it out. One would think they were long-lost brothers. "I'm surrounded by idiots."

"Yes but you forget a key detail Moony, _m'boy_ ," James grinned, sending Sirius a look.

"Do enlighten me," he pretended to be interested.

"That we're your idiots," Sirius announced and with that the two jumped him, drawing the poor boy into a group hug.

Their mini celebration was - thankfully - interrupted when Peter came rushing into the dorm.

"It's true?!" Peter wheezed, catching his breath.

"Steady there, Wormtail. Where have you been?"

"Th-That you and Jones?" He looked at Sirius who sent him a Cheshire grin.

"Heard that right. Kelp- er I mean Kelsey's my girl now," Sirius proclaimed proudly.

"B-but I thought it was just a crush," he whined. "She scares me."

"Nonsense. You just don't know her as well as we do," Sirius thumped Peter on the back.

"Lucky sod," James whispered under his breath, thinking of all the times the she-Devil had caused him undue stress.

"Weren't you just telling us this morning that she was somewhat responsible for Lily finally going out with you? Need I remind you of the er, Valentine's date that ended a little _too_ well for you," Remus told him.

"But I'd never tell her that. Her ego is big as it is," James announced to which Sirius nodded along solemnly. Self-awareness was not a skill the two boys possessed.

"Like three peas in a pod," Remus muttered to himself.

"Which reminds me, boys," Sirius rubbed his hands in business mode. "We have a new mission"

"I'd hardly call what we do as _missions._ "

"Tell me we get to do something that leaves a Jones shaped hole in a wall somewhere as she runs for it?" 

Remus and James asked at the same time. Sirius replied to James.

"Of a kind, yes," he said mysteriously. "To get her to kiss me.."

"You mean your own girlfriend?" Remus repeated as if Sirius had grown two heads.

"You won't get it. It's a Jones thing."

"'Course it is," James snickered, sending a knowing look at Remus.

"I mean it, I can't lose."

"By lose, you mean-"

"Kiss her first!"

"Your own girlfriend?"

"Finally, you get it!"

"Godric help us all," Remus muttered as he turned the page of his wizarding magazine.

ϟ

_It started with a photograph that came in the mail towards the beginning of the school year. At first, Peter Pettigrew hadn't thought anything of it. After all, a picture of his parents wasn't cause for alarm. Never the sharpest of the bunch, it never struck him to wonder why it wasn't strange to receive unsolicited mail that came with no note._

_One thing led to another and eventually, he found himself opening letters containing knick-knacks around his house. He couldn't fathom why his mother would send him random items. To confuse him even more, these letters would never come by morning mail. He found himself being lured away in the evenings alone, often having to come up with an excuse for his absence to the boys._

_A few owls asking his mother about the same never earned him any response. Not thinking of it, he had pushed it to the back of his mind as he busied himself with the boys. Nothing really happened till that fated Hufflepuff-Slytherin match._

_Absent-minded as he was, he was running late and had been on the way to the Quidditch Pitch. That was until a group of younger Slytherins cornered him._

_"Heard from Mummy recently, have you, Pettigrew?" He had stopped in his tracks to see Mulciber sneering at him. He had been sure that he had imagined the dark looks a few seventh-year Slytherins had sent him. Now he knew he wasn't going barmy._

_He wanted to ask him how he knew. The younger Slytherins appeared to be in on some inside joke as they watched him with pity-like amusement. That was when Jones had found him._

_Frozen in place, he didn't know what to do. Mulciber had slunk back into the shadows like the snake he was before she could spot him. A sick feeling overcame Peter as he found himself lying through his teeth. It was effortless. He never really liked the nasty chuckles she sent him._

_Some days later, he got another mail with a proposition. It was his father's ring. One passed down the Pettigrew line and one that he knew his father would never depart with willingly._

_The rest was history._

Peter Pettigrew felt someone elbow him roughly breaking him from his thoughts on how he had found himself in this situation. He tried not to wince from the bruise on his side where Mulciber had gently reminded him of what was at stake down by the lake. He then tried to hide the guilty thoughts as he focused on the question that had been directed at him.

"Huh?" was the best he could manage.

Frank Longbottom looked at him quizzically and then back at Dumbledore as they all stood in headmaster's office.

"The sword..will you be able to securely stash it back in the office?" Longbottom mumbled.

"Uh- yes! Of course," Peter stood at full attention.

"It is important that it be done in my absence. I shall arrange for the same," Dumbledore told him before moving on to the others' tasks.

Half of Peter's mind was already thinking of how he would never be able to reveal to Mulciber all he wanted to know, not under their current secrecy oaths. Time was running out and his only solace was the fact that nosy Kelsey Jones and her friend still hadn't been included. ****


	37. Mine

"So it's true then?"

"What do you mean?"

"That Sirius Black and Kelpie Jones are a thing now?"

"About time, I say. I saw it coming years ago."

"I still can't believe it. They've been at each other's throats for 6 years!"

"But think of all the stress they save us. Now we don't have to worry about them disturbing us or accidentally maiming us."

"Oh, well about that.."

"Yes?"

"I wouldn't be too sure.."

"What do you mean?"

The Ravenclaw looked past his friend in the corridor and his friend turned to follow his gaze. He frowned.

In the courtyard outside late February that year, sat a group of students consisting of Kelsey, Lily, Marlene, Potter, and Remus. Kelsey was reading an issue of _The Wolverine_ that Remus kept eyeing nervously, while Lily was reading her notes. Marlene and Potter were enthusiastically arguing about the better Quidditch team next to them.

Kelsey should have been reading up her NEWT notes like Lily next but she was currently enjoying eavesdropping Marlene rip Potter a new one. It was funnier yet since it was happening in front of Lily, as Potter tried to uphold his honour, while his girlfriend uninterestedly kept to her studies.

"You know what - we need a third person to decide this!" said Potter.

"Guess you're in luck, Potter. I think I see your boyfriend right there," Marlene replied which drew Kelsey's attention as well. She saw Sirius stalking over to them, looking determined. Instead of greeting her like the rest, he sat down on the stone structure and pulled her onto his lap.

"A kiss?" Sirius puckered his lips.

As much as Kelsey's heart fluttered, she knew better. They were currently in the middle of their _'Who's will break first'_ war.

"If only," she sighed dramatically, her attention going back to the cover of _The Wolverine_ issue which Sirius noticed.

"Really?" Sirius scoffed. "What's this bloke got anyway?" He scanned the cover page, noting a burly looking bloke in a blue and yellow outfit. "I mean Wolverine? In case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit on the shaggy side too," he stated. "Plus if it's wolves you want to know about.."

"Nice try, Black, still not falling for it." She patted him on the head like a puppy earning a few snickers to which Sirius pulled her closer as Marlene and Potter got back into it.

"Better give in when I'm playing nice, Jones," he murmured softly in her ear, his gaze on their friends.

She turned her head so that their faces were inches apart. "Not in a million years, Black," she smiled back. Sirius saw the goosebumps on the back of her neck and knew that it affected her just as much, but he wasn't one to relent either.

"Can't say I didn't warn you then, love," he challenged her.

Kelsey smirked proudly and was about to say something when Lily interrupted them by snatching the book from Kelsey's hand and smacking her on top of her head.

"Keep it in the bedroom," scolded Lily.

"I mean, we would if she just kissed me," he said to which Potter chuckled, earning a glare from Lily..

"Where's Pettigrew? I thought he was with you?" Potter asked Sirius, hoping it would distract Lily.

"Beats me," he shrugged. "Thought he'd be here." Sirius didn't appear too bothered by it. He nudged Kelsey when he noticed her frowning.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"I think something might be up with him," she began carefully.

"What do you mean?"

Kelsey told him of how she thought he was acting shady every now and then.

"Must've imagined it," he muttered to keep their conversation private.

"I'm telling you, it was him that I saw!"

"I don't understand why you and Wormtail don't get along?" he said a little shortly to which Kelsey huffed. She let it go, but she was far from forgetting the matter altogether.

ϟ

"Kels, I don't think it's a good idea," Astrid started with her usual _talking-Kelsey-out-of-doing-something-stupid_ spiel.

"Pfft," Kelsey brushed it off. "It'll be fine."

"Uhuh," Astrid said, unconvinced. The two girls leaned around the corner to see the four boys coming their way. "I mean, where did you even find a spell like this?"

"The library."

"This wouldn't have been in the restricted section now would it?"

"Depends on who's asking," Kelsey said as she now drew her wand out.

"I don't understand why you two can't just kiss like normal couples. Why did it become a competition?"

"Hush now, they're here!"

"Hello boys," Kelsey stepped in front of them. She smiled sweetly before unleashing the hex. Unfortunately for her, a non-Quidditch player, both Potter and Sirius had crazy reflexes. So while Potter managed to push Sirius away in time, the spell instead hit the stag.

The gash that appeared on his right arm was instantaneous.

"Kelsey! He's bleeding!" shrieked Astrid, as the boys stared in horror at the amount of blood Potter was suddenly losing.

"IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!" Kelsey watched. It was supposed to have been a small incision that healed after kissing someone.

"What were you trying to do?!" Sirius shrieked as he and Kelsey got into a yelling match over getting each other's attention in this prank war of theirs.

"Kelsey," Astrid sounded urgent while Remus and Pettigrew were holding on to Potter's hand trying to stop the bleeding. The boy was starting to become pale.

"Well, do something!" Sirius cried.

"Here, try this," Remus had the wits to pull out a bottle of Dittany from his bag that he kept on hand. Precisely because of situations like these. He unstoppered the vial and poured a few drops over Potter's arm but nothing happened.

"It won't work," Kesley mumbled.

"EXCUSE YOU!" Only now did James Potter cry out in anger.

"Well, you see, funny story," Kelsey smiled wryly at the group only to be met with silent stares. "The injury only heals upon kissi-"

"EXCUSE YOU!" Potter now sounded like a broken record.

"He'll bleed out by the time we make it to the common room or call for Evans," Sirius stared at her.

"I mean- Kelsey or I could.." Astrid offered.

"Absolutely not! No way! These lips are for one girl only," Potter now turned to glare at Astrid.

"It can probably be a short peck on the cheek. The directions were a little vague-"

"Probably?"

"On the cheek?!

This time Remus and Sirius spoke at the same time.

"Guys," Potter sounded a little woozy, as he continued to put pressure on his arm. They looked at him in alarm.

"Fine. But I swear if word of this gets around.." Sirius ran a hand through his hair. Before anyone could protest, he quickly and minimally kissed his friend on the cheek.

Both boys shuddered as the wound on James' arm closed up.

"Here, have this." Remus pulled out another bottle of magical energy drink.

"Now remember," said the head boy. "Not. A. Word." He sent everyone the best dangerous glare he could muster given his weakness. While Kelsey and Astrid nodded silently, with the decency to feel a little ashamed, the sound of a gasp distracted them.

"JAMES?!" Lily's shrill cry interrupted their shenanigans in the empty hallway.

"Lilypad, it's not what it looks like," he started waving his hands at her and she noticed his one blood-stained arm.

"It was either him or the girls," he tried to explain.

"How is that any better?" And with that, she had turned away and stormed off. It didn't take too much effort to stop a weak James Potter from following his girlfriend and dragging him to the Hospital wing instead.

ϟ

Sirius sat down at breakfast the next morning with a sigh. Remus ignored him and kept reading his book. Unhappy with the lack of attention, he deliberately sighed again, adding in cough for dramatic flair.

"Sirius," Remus said in a warning voice.

"It's just," Sirius played with the food on his plate. "We haven't kissed in a whole week. I think I'm startin' to forget how it's done."

"I _seriously_ doubt it," Remus didn't even budge from the book.

"Well, you'd know if you gave in to Astrid, mate," Sirius' gaze flicked over to the Hufflepuff table where his girlfriend sat with Astrid, sending more suspicious glances their way. "I think Walker's been trying to get your attention. Overheard something about a Step 8 to some plan at the Hospital Wing yesterday, while they waited for Prongs with us," Sirius mentioned.

At this, Remus did slam his book shut, a little pink. "You must be imagining it."

"I'm just saying."

"I take it then that you've forgiven her?" Remus looked at the girls too now. Kelsey nudged her friend and Astrid waved at him.

"Wasn't mad really. Bit funny but don't tell her or Prongs I said that," Sirius stared at the peach Kelsey took a bite of while maintaining eye contact with him across the hall. The juice dribbled down her lips, which were wet, and then down her chin. She wiped it with a finger and licked it, throwing a wink his way.

Sirius gulped, feeling parched suddenly. "Bloody hell," he muttered under his breath.

Remus heard that and sighed. "Well, if you acted like a normal couple - or even a person really, this wouldn't be an issue," he reminded him.

Kelsey had left the table leaving Astrid alone.

Remus saw Sirius get up after Kelsey in his peripheral vision however his gaze was on Astrid ahead of him who wasn't looking at them anymore. Astrid was staring at the chocolate doughnut in front of her as if it had personally offended her. She bit her lower lip deep in thought and let out a huff, blowing a strand of her curl up. It bounced back on her face. Remus chuckled when he saw her scrunch her face as it tickled her.

ϟ

"I really thought you would have learned your lesson by now Kels." Once again Astrid was attempting to unsuccessfully stop Kelsey from doing something. "I mean that wound-kiss hex was a disaster-"

"Don't worry, there's no physical injury involved in this one," said Kelsey. "At least I don't think so," she added to herself when Astrid had stopped listening.

Kelsey admitted that it wasn't her best laid out plan. It was a bit redundant even, drawing from a particular fifth-year winter scene. But she was still determined. Especially now that Sirius had all but taunted her after breakfast,

"I don't understand where you found the mistletoe? It's not even Christmas-"

"The same place I found that chocolate - err - thing I got for our other plan you know," Kelsey butt in. 

Astrid blushed at this. "You have way too many plans."

"I mean. Excuuuse me for helping you woo Remus-"

"- Can you please stop saying that?"

"Why?"

"I think I disturbed him somehow with the chocolate doughnut thing at breakfast after you left yesterday. He left pretty quickly," she sounded low.

"Then it definitely worked!" Kelsey exclaimed. 

"I don't get it.."

"He probably ran away to hide a boner. Tell me: did he use something to hide his general crotch vicinit-"

"Must you be so crude all the time?"

"Shh! He's here!"

As Sirius approached the archway, Kelsey started walking from the other end. Her plan was to meet him in the middle under the mistletoe she had carefully placed. The catch: Only a boy's kiss could undo the hold.

Kelsey, however, had not banked on having a Sirius Black fan club groupie follow him and 'accidentally' knock into him. It was the groupie's own plan of having Sirius Black fall in love with her through a meet-cute.

It was like a scene from a low-budget comedy movie. The girl tripped over her own feet, pushing Sirius ahead as she held onto him for support. Sirius being the unusual gentlemen in this scenario, grabbed the random girl's hand to steady her.

Then they tried to move and failed.

Sirius looked at Kelsey on the other end and back up where she was looking. The groupie followed their gaze too.

"This is perfect!" the girl whispered, loud enough for Sirius to hear and worry about. "A mistletoe!" she cried in happiness.

She was about to throw her arms around Sirius when Kelsey's voice stopped her.

"It won't work!" Kelsey's desperate voice echoed.

Sirius straightened himself. He could practically feel the hatred burning off of Kelsey.

"It's a special kind. He needs to be the one to initiate the kiss," Kelsey declared smugly watching the girl's face fall.

 _Not today, Satan_ , thought Kelsey. There were times she lacked self-awareness too.

"You don't say?" Sirius wondered as he understood what her plan had been. Although ingenious he might add, he decided to have fun with it.

Sirius stared at Kelsey who was red in the face as she glared at the girl who was locked into position under the mistletoe with him. He smirked.

"'S quite the pickle, innit?" he drawled, enjoying every moment of this situation Kelsey had gotten them into.

"Well, get it on with!" the girl exclaimed, hopefully waiting for it. She closed her eyes and puckered her lips in anticipation. Sirius warily looked at her and back at Kelsey.

"I mean what can I _even_ do?" he continued loudly. "If only a certain someone hadn't been so stubborn." He grinned pretending to ready himself to kiss her.

Kelsey watched Sirius boldly declare his intentions while knowing that he'd never go through with it.

Sirius could now see the red layer of cosmetics the girl had applied on her lips. _Wait_ , he thought. _Why was this girl in front of him so prepared? What had he gotten himself into?_

He eyed Kelsey once more nervously and could feel the internal battle raging in her mind. Her expressions were easy to read once you got used to them. After six and a half years of their banter, he could see her breaking in..

_Three_

He closed his eyes.

_Two_

He wet his own lips.

_One_

With the speed of a Seeker, she hurled a _Confringo_ at the archway making the mistletoe fall off with a thud on the ground, along with a good chunk of the archway. That would be the second time in two years, the archway would need fixing.

Storming over, she grabbed Sirius by the collar and pulled him down, fusing their lips.

He responded immediately, kissing her back softly, taking his time. He cupped her face with both his hands pouring every bit of how much he had missed it.

With flashes of their first kiss, Kelsey found herself losing in the moment. She bit his lower lip and he relented this once.

 _Mine_ , thought Kelsey as she gripped onto his shirt. She could feel him smiling as she got more assertive. They pulled apart to breathe and his eyes fell to her swollen lips. They had come so far. For all its troubles, he wouldn't have traded it.

"I think I love you," he blurted out suddenly of nowhere, shocking even himself at where that came from.

"What?" Kelsey squeaked in surprise.

A dull thud was heard in the distance as a third-year Gryffindor who happened to be passing by, fainted from shock. The few other students who had been walking in the hallway stopped too in disbelief.

All eyes were on her.


	38. Speak Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Anything canon divergent will be explained in good time. 
> 
> Please vote, comment and share!!

Kelsey watched the owl fly away until it disappeared from her vision and into the horizon. The sight of her application to appear for the Muggle-relations department exam had her biting the inside of her cheek nervously.

 _What if she didn’t even make the cut to even sit for the exam, let alone pass it?_ The voice inside her head told her.

Lost in thought, she felt someone nudge her playfully to distract her.

“Don’t worry,” the voice whispered in her ear, sending goosebumps. Spring was almost here, but every time they stood so close, it still gave her those shivers.

“I’m not.” She put on her brave face and smiled at Sirius who looked at her in disbelief.

“It’s written all over your face, Jones,” he pointed out.

They were walking back to the castle from the owlery.

Kelsey grumbled under her breath about how he knew her too well to which he responded by pulling her in close.

“What are you doing?” she asked as a few students passed them eyeing Sirius’ grip on her.

“Just showing them our _LOVE_ ,” he grinned.

“Sssh!” Kelsey stopped him. “Don’t go yelling it, now!”

“Why?” He couldn’t believe it. He wanted everyone to know that she was his.

“Because,” she began teasingly. “I don’t want people to think I’ve gone soft. It’ll be bad for my rep,”

“That should be my line!” he insisted.

“Uhuh,” she smirked. “Let’s not forget how it took less than thirty minutes for word to spread that you confessed your undying love for me.”

Sirius scoffed.

“Only after you made it a point to all but snog my face off so publicly,” he replied.   
Kelsey grinned and tucked herself into her side as he held her close for warmth. 

“Minor details Black, minor details.” And with that, she pulled away sending him a challenging look. Without needing further clarification they broke into a sprint.

He chased her all the way back to the castle shouting how it was Kelsey and not him who had proclaimed their love, to any poor soul who made the mistake of meeting his eye. Many students were confused while some just nodded along vigorously. All while Kelsey evaded his hold.

That the couple needed therapy was the opinion of several Hogwarts students that afternoon. How had they ended up here- from being confessed to - to making students question their combined sanity? Kelsey needed to recap the events of a few days prior:

_“I think I love you,” Sirius blurted out._

_“What?” Kelsey squeaked in surprise._

_It wasn’t the response one expected to that proclamation but Sirius wasn’t one to be fazed. ‘Danger’ was his middle name._

_Somewhere along the six and a half years of being pestered by him, she knew she had that tiny feeling in her that only grew._

_“I love you?” he furrowed his brows a bit more in confusion this time, both asking himself that and telling it to her._

_He smiled at her handsomely and she found herself wanting to name the feeling. ‘Is this what love is?’ Kelsey thought._

_They could hear Astrid muttering 'Hufflin’ Helga' in the background as she watched with her hand on her face, through her fingers. You know, how people watched horror movies. They also heard a faint thud of someone collapsing in shock of Sirius Black uttering those words._

_But Kelsey was more focused on trying to get the words out. Say something, her brain told._

_“I er-” she began but stopped._

_‘Anything, just speak.’_

_He looked at her hopefully._

_‘Why aren’t you saying anything? You numpty!’_

_From the moment they locked on to each other as targets back in the first-year, neither of them stood a chance. The spark was inevitable._

_“Chemistry,” she finally said._

_“Sorry?” It was Sirius’ turn to be confused._

_“Boy do we got great chemistry, huh?” she said stupidly._

_‘I take that back. Stop talking!’ It was too late for Kelsey to listen to her own brain._

_She saw his posture slump in the slightest manner as she kept dawdling before he cleared his throat and looked at her in pain._

_“‘S alright.” he began dejectedly. “You don’t have to make excuses to not say it back. I get it,” embarrassed and red in the face he turned and started hurrying off._

_“What? No!” Kelsey watched him retreat. “Stop!” She took a step in his direction but he didn’t. “I said stop right there, you tosser! I LOVE YOU TOO!” she screeched at the top of her voice._

_Somewhere in the background, Astrid squealed. Again._

_He froze and turned. “What was that now, Jones? Don’t think I caught that?”_

_She pinned him down with a look to which he responded with a smug smirk. “You were saying?” he prompted again. Kelsey took a deep breath, pushing aside the butterflies in her stomach._

_“I love you too,” she mumbled under her breath. “Or you know whatever.” She looked at him nervously this time. Sirius’ face broke into a smile and he strode over to her._

_“DO YOU REALISE WHAT THIS MEANS?” Astrid interrupted what was about to be another dramatic kiss. “JAMES OWES BOTH LILY AND I SOME GOOD MONEY!” she was all too happy about it._

_“Did you bet on us?” Kelsey looked at her in disbelief, temporarily distracted and somewhat proud of the fact that her innocent friend would gamble on this._

_“Think I can get a cut of that?” Sirius asked. Kelsey considered it for a moment and was about to demand her share when he diverted her attention._ _He tilted her head and caught her lips in a kiss and Kelsey smiled._

_Life was good._

Back in the present, Kelsey was still in the middle of running away from a determined Sirius who was adamant about who was the sucker out of the two of them. Life was _not_ good, she decided. 

“You’re embarrassing me!” She yelled while huffing down the corridor. Her hair stuck out like a crazy woman.

“I think you got that covered, love,” he called out, without pausing. He was sure the speed at which she was running had her skirt flitting with the wind. She must’ve flashed some people with her knickers. But he wasn’t about to point it out.

They turned the corner.

“I think you both have that covered,” a third voice interrupted their pan-Hogwarts Tag-you’re-It session. In front of them stood Lily, Mary and Marlene looking warily at them.

“I cannot believe you two!” Lily started talking. “It’s 4 in the afternoon. You two should be studying!” She flitted her gaze between them. “Instead I had to leave the library because some two idiots were apparently storming the castle flashing and scaring the students!”

Mary and Marlene were desperately trying not to laugh.

“Sirius!” Kelsey exclaimed when she realised what he had done.

“What?” he looked at her innocently. “I’d say that black and white Halloween themed knickers are much better than the purple one with teddy bears, if I may. A new personal favourite,” he chuckled. 

Kelsey would have died if anyone other than her friends had been standing there. Some soft mumbling between the other three girls made them stop their almost bickering.

“I mean, she’s right here,” said Marlene.

“I guess you’re right,” agreed Mary.

Kelsey paused to look at her two friends who suddenly had their attention on her.

“No,” said Lily as if she knew what they were talking about.

“Yes!” the two decided.

With a creepy smile, Mary and Marlene took two steps forward, prompting Kelsey to take one back. She would have made her escape if Sirius hadn’t been blocking her. Next thing she knew, she was being hauled away by her friends who had grabbed an arm each.

“STRANGER DANGER!” Kelsey yelled as Mary and Marlene dragged her.

“Do something!” She glared at Sirius as she was led away against her will to Merlin knows where. He took a moment to think before responding:

“Watch out for that, she won’t stop yelling unless you shut her mouth,” he told them, drawing from his personal experience. “Only a while until she yells 'Pervy Mcperverson'.”

“Shush now. You’ll have fun,” Mary told her.

“I think, I’ll pass,” Kelsey struggled.

“A girls' night. It’s been too long!” Marlene said excitedly.

“Et tu, Lily?” Kelsey croaked as the red-head shook her head in dismay before heading back to her own Head Girl duties.

“Don’t be late, Evans!” Marlene called out as they ushered her off.

ϟ

Kelsey hummed to herself as she made her way around the castle with ease that night. With a little persuasion from Lily and Astrid, she had managed to convince Potter to lend her the cloak for an hour to sneak into the kitchen on a dare.

It had been the girls’ idea to have a sleepover at the Gryffindor dorms. Knowing that they shared a dorm with Dorcas had made Kelsey reluctant but she caved once Marlene told her that Dorcas was off doing Dorcas stuff. Whatever that meant.

Technically, with Kelsey’s untimely kidnapping, the sleepover started early because they needed her help to stock up on food from the kitchens. But by 10, their stash was already finished. Neither girls wanted to be it, so Astrid had dared Kelsey who thought it to be a dare-worthy task in the middle of their Truth or Dare game.

“Your dares are too weak,” Kelsey had scolded Astrid. Kelsey would never go that easy, especially on Sirius. 

“We’ll remember that for the next round,” Mary said as she all but pushed Kelsey out of the Gryffindor dorm.

When she approached the ground floor corridors on her way, she heard voices arguing. The whole scene gave her an eerie vibe of the time she had chanced upon Snape and the kid. She pulled the cloak over her tighter, as a chill crept through her.

“You had one job!” she heard someone scold.

“It’s not easy,” replied another.

Wait a minute. She knew the second voice. She slowed down.

She was at a crossroads. She should have turned the other direction and been on her merry way to the kitchens. But instead, just like Robert Frost once wrote, she took the road less traveled. Or in her case - dangerous. 

“What is it?” they demanded.

“I can’t tell you!” the squeaky voice was unmistakable.

 _Was it worth risking being found?_ Kelsey considered peeking to confirm whom she believed on the other end.

“Need I remind you what’s at stake Pettigrew? Or rather who?” the cold voice drawled.

Nevermind that. She had her answer. She heard some scuffling.

“Leave him Mulciber. There’s probably under some protective charm or oath in place to stop them from divulging information,” she heard Snape’s permanently bored drawl. She heard something smack instead and then a whimper.

“A Phoenix,” squeaked Pettigrew.

“Continue,” enunciated Snape.

“That’s all I can say,” the boy continued to whine.

Kelsey still had her back pressed against the wall. Her heart was thumping in her chest.

“Let’s go,” Mulciber announced.

The footsteps were coming her way. Forgetting for a moment that she was under a cloak, she took a hasty step back to make a break for it, when she tripped over the cloak and fell with an audible thud.

“Someone’s there,” Mulciber said.

“Wait, I can check. I have this ma-”

“Quiet,” Snape shut them up.

Kelsey gulped, staring at the shadow of the three boys, around the corner.

Before anything else could happen a loud bang went off on the other side, distracting them once more. She took this confusion to scamper to her feet and grab the cloak. She ran not bothering to put on the cloak in case they turned and saw her.

She was yanked away for the second time that day. She found herself standing in a small broom cupboard. Why did the castle have so many of those?

“Sshh!” the voice whispered to her. It gave her the creeps but she did not dare turn yet.

“Leff me gfo,” she mumbled through the boy’s hand over her mouth.

“Shut it, would you? I’m trying to help you,” the boy now whispered furiously. Kelsey kept trying to push him off her.

“Hanging around my brother must’ve really done a number on your brain. You’re just as dim,” he remarked dryly.

What? Kelsey managed to free herself just as the footsteps outside disappeared in the distance.

What was it with people manhandling her today?

When she turned around, she met a familiar pair of grey eyes. But something was off. That’s when she realised it: she was staring at Regulus Black. 


	39. Tell Me Why

"Are you done manhandling me?" Regulus said with disdain.

"What did you just say?" Kelsey couldn't believe what she had just heard. _She_ was the victim here.

Regulus dusted the sleeves of his robes as if it had dirt on it. At eye level, Kelsey saw his Prefect badge shine in the dim light of the cupboard.

All that just to follow Snape and the rat. Regulus didn't know what it was about that Pettigrew boy, but something seemed off. The seventh years were avoiding him too and wouldn't reveal anything to him either. So much for House loyalty. Following them had been going swell until she had shown up.

According to letters from Kreacher, something was going on outside Hogwarts which included a few seventh-years. There was an uprising happening on both sides. But it was so subtle that no one made any move. No one at home had divulged much to Regulus.

And Regulus hated being left out.

"What was that?" she tried to kick him comically but he dodged.

"You're mental," he looked at her as if she was beneath him. He straightened his robes. He didn't know what had made him help her. All he knew was that she had been a few seconds away from being permanently wiped off the face of this earth. That and he wasn't in the particular mood to be roped into being an accomplice to that as he had no doubt that Mulciber, Snape and Pettigrew would have been caught.

"You should be thanking me," he muttered.

Kelsey observed the boy in front of her.

_What was he doing following them?_

He went to open the door.

"Wait!" she held onto his robe and he shrugged her off.

"Don't touch me!" he frowned.

"You touched me first!" she glowered at him.

"Whatever, I'm off." He opened the door. "This never happened," he looked at her one last time with disdain before leaving.

Kelsey stood staring at the space in front of her in dismay.

ϟ

She came back to the common room a little shaken and confused, with the plate of food enchanted to float behind her, only to find her friends now sprawled by the fireplace with the four boys. She subtly hid the cloak behind herself and made her way to Potter, dropping the cloak next to him without alerting the girls.

"Whatever happened to a girls' night?" Kelsey asked sitting on the arm of the sofa next to Sirius. She conjured the tray onto the coffee table and everyone dove in.

"You see, we heard about that," began Potter with his mouth full.

"And decided that we wanted to see one of the muggle sleepovers ourselves," grinned Sirius lecherously.

"Was _hopin'_ for more pillow fights to tell you the truth," mumbled Pettigrew under his breath. Kelsey took in the rat's appearance without being obvious about it. She was sure she had heard the sound of him being punched but his face looked fine.

_What was that about a Phoenix?_

_Were the boys into some underground magical creature racket?_

_Why was Pettigrew suddenly colluding with Slytherins?_

Her head spun with questions as she watched Peter covertly hand Potter a large piece of parchment. The whole thing made her sick but she still needed answers.

"They stood at the bottom of the stairs yelling for us until we caved," Astrid explained. Kelsey noted how she was tucked right by the fireplace next to Remus with a book between the two.

With ease, the group broke into conversations about their post-Hogwarts plans. Lily was busy preparing to apprentice at an Apothecary she had helped at last summer but she remained vague about the rest. Similarly so, it appeared as if the boys might go the Auror route. Kelsey did her best to keep an eye out for funny slip-ups especially when Pettigrew informed them squeakily of joining under his father at the Ministry.

There was the unspoken knowledge between them that there was still a war brewing outside the walls of their school.

"Never took you for a Ministry bloke," Kelsey joked, nudging Sirius when he said that he would look into it as well.

"Being an Auror sounds fine enough," Sirius shrugged. "My uncle left me his London flat and some inheritance. Saving up for some stuff," he added, cryptic. Kelsey saw Potter pin him with a glare.

"What stu-" Sirius interrupted Kelsey, sensing that she was about to start asking some unwanted questions.

"Jones sent in her application today," Sirius thumped her on the back.

"Come to think of it, you never told me about you wanted to do Remy.." she raised her eyebrows.

Remus sent a quick look to his mates and cleared his throat. "I can't work at the ministry," he said, implying the underlying furry situation.

"I think you could look into rights and management of magical creatures don't you think? What about wizard academia?" Remus paled thinking that Kelsey was about to make a direct connection to his condition. "You know like underground black markets," Kelsey looked around the room. She was met with silence.

"No one here interested in magical creatures?" she prodded, looking directly at the mousy boy.

"I heard from this distant cousin of Newt Scamander that Phoenixes are all the rage," she said uninterestedly while picking her nails. "But _whatevs_ ," she shrugged in the end.

Remus choked on his chocolate and Astrid had to thump him on the back to help him dislodge it.

"Sorry did I say something?" she looked at them more directly this time, silently provoking them. Even Lily looked rather shifty, suddenly avoiding her gaze.

"Padfoot!" Potter smacked him up the head.

"I didn't say a word, I swear!"

"Look just." Sirius grabbed Kelsey and pulled her to the side as Lily placated the other three girls who were completely lost at the sudden turn in conversation. Kelsey looked at Astrid worried. "..you shouldn't go saying that word out in the castle."

"Aha! So you are running an underground phoenix scheme!" she exclaimed.

"What?" Sirius was extremely confused. He sent a shrug to Potter. "No- just, it's best you forget about it. Or anything related to it."

"But why?" she whined.

"It's not for you to know," he insisted without budging.

"But I just saw Pet-"

"Just leave it!" Sirius barked, suddenly worked up. Kelsey shut up. "I don't know why you have it out for him. But this really doesn't concern you yet."

"Yet?" she called out as he turned and walked back up to his dorms. "What do you mean yet?!" she demanded, now looking at the other three boys who stood up and excused themselves too.

With a groan, Kelsey slumped on the couch and crossed her arms.

"What was that about?" Mary asked.

Kelsey was about to speak when Lily cut in "-nothing. Just nothing," the redhead quipped.

Of all of Kelsey's flaws, she wasn't easy to let go of things. 


	40. no body, no crime

_Kelsey,_

_Figured you might need these notes as well. I sent the original ones to Mary. These are a copy. Let me know if I can help with anything else._

_xx_

_Benji_

"That blithering perv!" Sirius snatched the letter from Kelsey's hand at the Hufflepuff table. He had initially approached her to talk things over with their recent tiff in the common room last weekend.

"SIRIUS!" Kelsey got up immediately and went to grab it from him.

"So what, now you're writing to him?" he said testily.

Kelsey's nostrils flared and she lifted the remaining stack of NEWT notes and waved them in front of his face.

"Must you be so dramatic?"

"I don't like that bloke," he eyed the paper.

"Well," she said icily. "Right now, I don't like you." She crossed her arms. "You've been avoiding me since that night."

To say she was irritated was an understatement. She had spent the last two days being avoided during which she had managed to channel her frustration into a plan to expose Pettigrew.

"I'm here now, yeah?" Sirius looked guilty before frowning. "Besides I don't see why you couldn't have just asked Moony for notes-"

"You mean between all those times I've seen you four scamper away at the sight of me?" she seethed.

"Kelsey," he tried to reach out to her but she stepped back.

"Look just," she stopped to swat his hand away. She was on edge. "I'll see you later, okay?"

ϟ

Step 1: Acquire full-body invisibility? Check.

Step 2: Make yourself scarce? Check.

Step 3: Follow the rat? In-progress.

Kelsey looked behind to make sure she wasn't visible under her disillusionment charm. She was good.

At eight in the evening, the corridors were mostly empty and Mission Rat the Rat' was in motion. She had been keeping a close on Peter Pettigrew for the last week although it had been a task now that he was on to her.

Sirius was still miffed at her with the letter incident but it wasn't something she hadn't been able to solve with a special surprise after Quidditch practice for the last match of the year. One well-timed appearance in the boys' locker room after making sure Sirius was the last one remaining had forced him to face her. She found that she could be very persuasive when in the mood. Remembering the bold actions made her cheeks heat up and she had to slap them to make herself focus.

Now that they were back on talking terms, she could proceed with this plan in peace. She was currently following him.

Pettigrew was taking the familiar route to Dumbledore's office in a scurry holding a long object sheathed in a dark cloth. Despite the charm in effect, Kelsey would have to dive behind pillars every time he looked back in her worry.

 _'It's strange,'_ she thought. _'Almost as if he knows I'm following him.'_ But she couldn't for the life of her figure out how he would know that.

To stay safe, she put some extra distance between them and almost lost him in the process. Two corridors away from the office, she came closer once again hearing voices around the corner.

Once more, Pettigrew looked back and she flattened herself against the nearest pillar. She ran headfirst into another person that distracted her enough for the charm to wear off.

"Oof!" She smacked against a hard chest.

"You really don't know when to let it go, do you?"a furious voice hissed.

"Let me go, Black," Kelsey looked panicked. She met the younger Black brother in a staring match.

"Do you have a death wish- following them around?" Regulus asked her, furtively looking around them.

"I need to know what that rat's up to," she insisted.

"You and me both," he whispered. "But you have the subtlety of an elephant," he sounded annoyed. "Come on. And stay behind me," Regulus threw his own lesser version of a mass-produced Invisibility Cloak over them and she had no choice but to follow.

"Why are you being nice to me?" she questioned.

"It's not like I have a choice, do I?" His attention remained ahead. "You keep showing up. Like bloody Doxies in my family home," he muttered.

"Hey!" Kelsey took offense.

"Ssh!"

They were outside the entrance to Dumbledore's office.

They waited with Pettigrew until Mulciber showed up in a few minutes. Pettigrew leaned in to whisper something that they couldn't catch. Kelsey tried to get closer but Regulus held her back.

"Something feels wrong," he mumbled.

Mulciber then looked directly in their direction and grinned cunningly. Almost as if he could see them. Kelsey's heart almost stopped.

"No. This is definitely a trap," Regulus stated.

"It's too late _now_ ," she murmured just as Mulciber shot a spell in their direction. Kelsey ducked down and the false cloak fell off her while keeping Black hidden still.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" Mulciber sneered. "I knew something was up. It was you the other day too wasn't it?"

"I knew you were up to something you rat!" she hissed and got up.

"I'd say you're the one following him, right? What right have you got?" Mulciber narrowed his eyes dangerously.

Kelsey could see him toying with the wand in his hand. On instinct, they both stepped back assuming a duel stance when Pettigrew interrupted.

"Company," he sounded worried, looking at some piece of paper. Kelsey was confused when Mulciber suddenly decided to make a break for it. She was about to follow him when Pettigrew stood in her way to stop her.

"Pettigrew!" Kelsey looked him in the eye. "Move or detention will be the least of your problems."

"You see.. I don't think it will." He didn't appear fazed at all.

"What are you doing?" she demanded. Her chest was heavy as Mulciber disappeared from sight. She was about to push his chest to back him off when a hand grabbed hers from nowhere.

"Not now, Black, let me go," she tried to push him off but he managed to drag her away.

Pettigrew did however appear surprised to see the other Black. Regulus glared at the older boy coldly. It had been the right decision to stay hidden until Mulciber had excused himself.

"You absolute nutter!" Regulus pulled her back and turned her around. "Do you have the brains of a dung beetle?" He roughly pushed her against a stone pillar caging her in.

"What in the name of Godric?!"

Kelsey stilled.

Oh no. Oh no no no. She looked at her position. Sneaking behind a stone pillar with a younger Regulus Black.

Both turned to face the older Black sibling with Pettigrew by his side who looked smug at the turn of events. Pettigrew was toying with the object in hand. It looked like a sword of some kind but Kelsey had no idea what the big deal about it was.

"I told you she was up to something," Pettigrew hissed.

 _That should be my line_ , thought Kelsey.

"Kelsey?" Sirius' voice was hoarse as she noticed the placement of his younger brother's palm against the wall. From the looks of it, they had been arguing.

"It's not what it looks like," she said. She couldn't continue. To an extent, it was exactly what it looked like.

"What it looks like is you following Wormtail around the castle trying to catch him in a lie," Sirius said dangerously low, his fury rising.

"But I did!" she began. "You just missed that brawny bloke Mulciber," she said.

"The only Slytherin I see here is _him_ ," Sirius seethed, refusing to make eye contact.

"To think she'd actively try to sabotage us," Pettigrew continued gleefully. Kelsey was confused. Did Sirius know what Pettigrew had been doing on his way to Dumbledore's office?

"Sirius it's not.." Kelsey moved away from Regulus to reach out to him but he flinched. Just like Regulus did a week ago and her hand dropped.

"I keep telling you to leave it, why won't you just listen to me?" Sirius was irate.

"I think it is important to know why Pettigrew is hanging out with Slytherins don't you think?" she retorted to which Sirius scoffed.

"You are the only one I see you far. Tell me what _are_ you doing making your way around the siblings?" Pettigrew incited.

"Don't include me in your squabble," Regulus said haughtily. "My business is mine. I have enough trouble going to school in the presence of mudbloods," he spat. Self-preservation was in his blood and no amount of spying on seventh years Slytherins was worth it. He took a few steps to leave when Sirius had him roughed up against the wall by the collar.

"SIRIUS NO!" Kelsey jumped to pull them apart. "Don't listen to him," she pulled Sirius back but she swatted her hand away.

"You going to hit me, dear brother?" Regulus sneered. Unsure, Sirius let go.

"Yeah, walk away!" Regulus called out. "Go running right back to your blood traitor friends and half-breed _mutts_ ," Regulus sniggered.

It took less than five seconds for Sirius to turn around and punch him in the face. Kelsey gasped as Regulus fell to his knees with a dark laugh. Despite her animosity towards the boy who kept ruining her plans, she knelt to make sure he was fine.

"Oh my God!" She tried to check Regulus' eye but he pushed her away.

"Like I said before: don't touch me mudblood." He spat some blood on the ground. All Sirius could do was stare at the scene with a gnawing feeling in his stomach.

"What is going on here?" With comic timing, James Potter and Lily Evans showed up.

"What happened?" Lily looked at the scene with Kelsey trying to fuss over the Slytherin who had a black eye and Sirius' bruised up hand.

"It's all her doing," Pettigrew ratted her out.

"Why you little sh-"

"ENOUGH!" Potter yelled silencing everyone while Sirius continued to hold a sour expression. James took a deep breath, doing a quick assessment of the situation.

"Look Sirius, mate, I'm going to have to report this to Mcgonagall and give you at least a week's worth of detention," he said to which Sirius grunted.

"It's not fair. It wasn't his-" Kelsey wanted to tell them.

"You just can't stay away can you?" Sirius asked. Weeks of tension, a double life involving small tasks around the castle with the Order while keeping it from Kelsey, and stress over keeping her safe all came down to this. Why couldn't she just do as she was told?

"It's not who I am," her voice broke. "I-I thought you knew that. Sirius I was just trying to help."

"More like put your nose where it doesn't belong," Pettigrew scoffed. Kelsey screamed internally.

"Please believe me," she pleaded. How could he ever think that she meant harm?

Sirius swallowed a lump in his throat. "Jones, I-I can't. This is too much."

"What do you mean?"

Potter and Lily looked unsurely between themselves.

"We can't keep doing this. I am doing this to keep _you_ safe."

"I am trying to help you if you would just listen to the full story-"

"DAMMIT JONES THIS ISN'T SOME COMIC BOOK WHERE YOU FANCY YOURSELF A SUPERHERO!"

The accusation echoed through the corridor.

"I guess that's it then?" she asked not tearing her eyes away from him.

"I guess so."

"Sirius, maybe you should cool down," Lily said softly.

"Leave it, Lily," Kelsey laughed dryly. "I think he's said it all."

"Fine," quipped Sirius.

"Fine," Kelsey replied coolly.

"This really is it then." It was quieter when he repeated it.

This time Kelsey was the first one to turn her back on him. Regulus was the only one who could see her expression as she faced him. And she didn't give a damn what the mudblood hater thought of her.

"It was fun while it lasted, Black." It was the final nail in the coffin. She gathered herself, masking a neutral expression before taking off on what would be a long way back to the Hufflepuff dorms.

"Yeah, fun," Sirius mumbled to himself as he watched Kelsey disappearing down the other end of the corridor. He felt heavy from his words. He had only meant some of them. But the rest just came out. He didn't need her distracting him anyway.

Wasn't it just earlier yesterday that she had shown up after practice and they had reaffirmed this feeling he had convinced himself was love? Was it that easy to let go?

Next to him, Wormtail clicked his tongue, "To think she almost found out about the Order and Dumbledore's missions."

"Why don't you three head back, I'll talk to him," Lily spoke up, indicating at Regulus who was still sitting on the ground.

"Padfoot?" James asked him softly, this time with a hand on his shoulder. "Let's get you back to the dorms with some Calming Draught. I bet Moony-" Sirius stepped away letting the hand drop.

"I'm peachy mate," said Sirius. "I'm off to blow some steam," he decided.

"That was fast. Even for you," Regulus suddenly snickered as if it wasn't just that that had earned him a black eye. "Although I guess you probably have a line of girls waiting already."

"JAMES NO!" This time it was Lily. Luckily all James had done was grab him by the collar and pull him up.

"Keep at it Potter and I might just call in foul play before the final match next weekend," the boy riled him up.

_Smack!_

James punched the wall right next to Regulus' face.

"EVERYONE: DORMS, NOW!" Lily yelled red in the face as she whipped out her wand to put a shield between the two boys.

It was one of the worst April evenings in a long time.

No one except, not even Peter Pettigrew slept with a smile that night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: *runs and hides* Anywho don't forget to vote and comment!


	41. exile

Kelsey stormed into the Hufflepuff dorm and headed straight for the small drawer next to her bed. She pulled it open and blindly grabbed the stack of comics books in it.

"Kelsey?" She heard Astrid but her focus was only in front of her.

 _Amazing Spider-Man #149_ She stared at the issue in her hand. Without thinking twice she held it up and tore it down the middle in half. Astrid gasped in shock while Kelsey calmly threw the two halves on her bed and reached for another issue.

_"This isn't a comic book.."_

_"Fancy yourself a superhero.."_

The haunting words echoed in her mind as she tore the second one right down the middle mechanically. How could she have fooled herself all this time? He let it go - let them go with such ease. He threw back her prized possessions back in her face. She remembered his disdainful expression all too well.

If Kelsey had been in her right mind she would have smacked herself for being so distraught so as to destroy her collection over a boy. Right now, she was heartbroken. Physically ripping it apart had the cathartic effect if she imagined it to be Pettigrew. The pages torn in half were scattered across her bed now. She reached for a third when she found nothing.

"What is wrong with you?" Astrid demanded. Her friend was clutching on to the rest of her comic books for dear life. One of them had to be in their right senses.

Only now did Kelsey feel a tear slide down her cheek and Astrid immediately let go of them, dropping them to the ground. She rushed over to Kelsey who sat back on the bed and threw her arms around her.

For the first time since their fifth year, when Astrid had last seen Kelsey cry, Kelsey shoved her face into Astrid's shoulder and let it all out.

"I was so stupid Tatty," her voice was muffled as the tears now wet Astrid's robes. Her friend cooed her in silence.

This was somewhat new to Astrid. Their roles were usually reversed. And by reversed, she meant, Kelsey would be storming off to find the person who dared make Astrid cry. But Astrid being the gentle soul could only soothe her friend with her calming presence and kind words, assuring her that everything would be fine while Kelsey recounted what had happened between sniffles.

That night after Kelsey finally fell asleep on her shoulder, Astrid managed to detach herself. She quietly gathered the remains of the tattered comics and hid them in her trunk for a later day. She couldn't fix Kelsey's heart right now but she would find a way to fix those comics. Making sure it was hidden so that Kelsey wouldn't see them, she tucked herself into bed.

Sleep eluded Astrid as she pondered Kelsey's version of events. Nothing made sense. She needed to get to the bottom of it and there was only one person she hoped she could count on.

Ϟ

"Did you hear?"

"Oh for the love of Rowena!" The seventh-year Ravenclaw boy slammed his textbook shut even though the question had not been directed at him. This was a library!

"Kelpie Jones and Sirius Black broke up," the girls on the table next to him whispered.

"About time," a second one scoffed.

"I always knew he wasn't one to be held down by labels," the third one commented, looking pleased.

"Oh shut it, Chelsea. You were there in October begging him to drag you into a broom cupboard."

"Don't pretend to be high and mighty Cathy. You were the one begging him to-"

The girls were interrupted as a shadow fell over the table. They looked up to see the Ravenclaw boy who had had enough. Sternly, he leaned down and placed his hands flat against the table.

"Quit it or leave, girl," he said menacingly.

Silently they packed up their things and left but not before snickering loudly as they passed by a certain girl who had just entered. The boy was about to yell at them again when he saw Kelsey Jones clenching her fist. The four girls seemed to be having some type of hostile conversation.

He saw Kelsey smirk and lean in to whisper something to Chelsea or was it Cathy? He couldn't tell. Either way, the girl's smug smile dropped quickly and they rushed out.

Only now did he feel some pity for Kelsey Jones. She had bags under her eyes, but her expression remained determined as she marched over to an empty table ignoring the hushed whispers of students around her. She grabbed her parchment and quills and immersed herself right into her essay.

Kelsey made an obvious effort to ignore the incessant chatter around her.

_"Did she really think she could tame him?"_

_"I never knew what he saw in her."_

Gossip like that had followed her through the castle for a few days now. High on emotions, the break-up had nothing to do with his inability to keep it in his pants, she knew that. Their wounds ran deeper. It still irked her to know that it was just as easy to throw away proclamations of love that he had claimed to have for her, one that she believed, over Pettigrew that rat.

She couldn't even blame Sirius for all of it. It was this very loyalty the four- no three boys had, a trait that had made her appreciative of him. She knew if the tables were turned and someone accused Astrid or Lily, she would hex them into next Sunday. But she knew that would never happen because unlike Pettigrew, her friends were not double-crossing, two-faced cowards.

She also had no doubt that there was already a long line of girls offering themselves up to 'console' him. She furiously dotted the 'i' on her essay, piercing the parchment. She had put up with his taunts for six years. This was nothing new.

Ϟ

"Are you sure?" The girl with dirty-blonde hair stared through her lashes at Sirius Black.

" _'Course_ , love," he drawled smoothly. "You see," he brought his lips closer to her ears ignoring the sick feeling at the bottom of his stomach. This didn't feel right. He fought the urge to pull away and continued whispering sweet nothings that turned out was just the thing to say. The girl giggled and smacked his arm, before sashaying her hips away.

Sirius wished that sight stirred something in him but it didn't. Angry as he was there was only one person who stirred anything for him. Nevertheless, he'd made himself busy by distracting himself these last few days. Just as she disappeared from sight, Prongs, Moony and Wormtail walked in through the entrance.

In conversation, Prongs' boisterous laugh signalled the end of some tale he was recounting. Moony had his lips pressed thin as if holding back an amused smile while Wormtail nodded along eagerly. They spotted Sirius and made their way over.

"All good there, mate?" Prongs asked as they sat down around him in front of the fireplace.

"Couldn't be better," he mumbled, staring into the fire.

Remus shared a look with the head boy and cleared his throat. "So, Hannah's looking good these days," he said.

"Who?" Sirius looked confused.

"The girl who just left," Remus explained.

"Right," Sirius shrugged.

"Come on, you can't still be mad at _her_ for trying to help?" Remus asked. Sirius visibly stiffened at the mention of Kelsey. Remus had promised Astrid to bring it up gently knowing how hot-tempered both their best friends were. Neither of them had cracked yet.

"Astrid, wait!" The sound of several footsteps and a panicked voice had them turning to see what the commotion was about.

"SIRIUS BLACK YOU UTTER TWAT!" Sirius found himself staring at Astrid who was red in the face. "The three of you have some nerve," she laughed shakily, drawing in on her hidden confrontational skills.

"Astrid, calm down," Remus was up and trying to relax her but she pushed him away.

"I tried to give you some time. A week. I gave you a week to calm down and come to your senses but this is getting ridiculous," she seethed.

"Tatty, let's go," Marlene pleaded a few feet away.

"And you," Astrid said each word with venom as she looked at Remus and James. "Ignoring Kelsey, really?" she scoffed. "That's a bit immature, don't you think?"

"Nice to see _her_ temper has rubbed off on you," Sirius said quietly and got up. He easily towered her at 5'2. He took a step in her direction only to have Moony stop him.

"Sirius, no."

"Look, it's for the best. At least for now," James jumped in to explain. He hated having to do this but with Kelsey almost finding out about the Order this was a necessary evil. For the great good. "There are things even you don't know about Astrid. It's why we had to ask her to stay low about this but she just wouldn't listen."

"She was just trying to help!"

"By shoving her nose in places it didn't belong!" James bellowed.

"Astrid please," Remus finally managed to drag her away before this blew up into another new fight. "Look, I certainly don't condone this ostracism but-"

"There's a BUT?"

"Kelsey will understand when she does. All in due time. Just give it some more time?" His eyes begged her to agree. "And for the record, she still has me," he offered a small smile which seemed to pacify her.

Remus found it hard to not stare at her blatantly as Astrid took deep calming breaths. This was a side of her he hadn't seen too often and he could feel the itch to crush his lips into hers. The thought made him frown. It was too close to the full moon.

As if realising that he was watching her with a strange expression she tore her eyes away. It was easy hiding a blush under the redness of her anger. She felt exhilarated. She had never yelled at anyone. Was this why Kelsey fought with Black constantly?

"To be clear, he misses her," said Remus quietly in the corner of the common room, away from eavesdropping ears. They sent a quick glance at their friends on the other side wherein Sirius still looked sour. "He's been moping around. It's a shame that they're both so stubborn."

"It's just," Astrid tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "What she said didn't make sense," Astrid was in deep thought.

"I can see why Sirius reacted the way he did," Remus began carefully. Their menial tasks for the Order so far was building up for when they left the confines of the castle. Kelsey or anyone else finding out about it was detrimental as it currently stood. And yet, the very first thing Remus had done was march over to Dumbledore's office and demand that she be allowed to join the Order because of the friendships it was ruining. "But his behaviour is still.."Remus paused.

"Git-like?" Astrid finished with a small smile.

"Indeed," he chuckled. "I'll look into it," Remus was referring to the Wormtail thing. It sickened him given that he was one of the three who had put in the effort to become an animagus for him. However, he had to agree that something didn't add up and the others were too emotional about it right now.

"Fine. But until then I think it's best he stayed away," said Astrid.

Ϟ

"Kelsey!"

Kelsey heard her name being called. She knew exactly who it was. She quickened her pace.

"Wait!"

Maybe if she broke into a jog, she could evade him. A hand gripped her robes and stopped her in the middle of her patrols. She cursed Remus Lupin and his long legs.

"We're supposed to be patrolling together," he pointed out.

"No thanks." And with that she was on her way again. It would have been a merry way too but he had to join her.

One week. It had taken her one week and then a few days to feel okay again. Her pain was buried deep inside because she couldn't afford to let whispers of Sirius Black snogging a new girl every few days bring her down again.

 _She'd show him,_ she had decided. If he didn't need her help or _her_ so be it.

"I wanted to apologise," he said sheepishly when Kelsey hadn't said anything for a few minutes into their rounds. She looked at him confused. "For being part of the whole banishment scenario. Bit archaic, if you ask me" he said grimly referring to how the other three were ignoring him.

"Going back to having three fewer friends is hardly a banishment Remus," she rolled her eyes. "It's not your fault anyway," she quipped. She did not want to be having this conversation right now.

"I just want to help," he continued.

She let out an exasperated huff. "You can help me by finding me someone to hand out detentions to right now," she joked.

On cue, a loud thud shook a small door to their left.

"Ask and she shall receive," murmured Remus staring at the door.

It was a month and a half until their NEWTs. Most seventh-years would be cramming now.

A loud giggle escaped Kelsey's lips and they could hear the people on the other side of the door still.

Watching Remus in delight, she opened the door dramatically, hoping to catch whoever it was in an _Aha!_ moment.

It was a month and a half until their NEWTs..most seventh-years would be cramming now..most seventh-years, except one Sirius Black.

Sirius was backed against a wall as the girl, Hannah from Gryffindor, assaulted his neck. The top few buttons of his uniform were undone and Kelsey could see faint purple marks. Her heart caught in her throat.

The thing is that hearing rumours about Sirius and his new flavour of the day and actually seeing it in action were two different things, Kelsey realised much to her dismay.

"Look what the dog dragged in," she sneered.

"Don't mind her, Bella," Sirius glared at her unfazed. "It's Spring. I heard Kelpies get quite testy this time of the year. Probably on the hunt for mates and whatnot. Quite a shame really," he said with loathing. He ignored the way his heart lurched from watching that brief flicker of pain.

"That's getting a bit old, Black," Kelsey tapped her foot impatiently. She threw the door open wider waiting for them to exit but Sirius stopped the girl from moving.

"You mind?" he smirked.

Even though her blood was boiling, she wasn't going to let him get to her.

Kelsey sent them a sickly sweet smile. "Enjoy the rabies, Isabelle." She turned on her heels and roughly grabbed Remus by the hand to drag him away. 

Remus had to jog to keep up with the pace at which she was pulling him away. He turned his head glower at Sirius only to find Sirius' eyes glued to where Kelsey was holding his already. 


	42. the lakes

_A shrill shriek rang through the air, making Sirius look up from his spot by the tall willow._

_The sight he saw pulled at his heartstrings in a way that confused him. Kelpie Jones was out on the Black Lake. Her hands were crossed behind her back and she was gliding effortlessly, with a smug grin on her face as Evans tried to catch up._

_A small section of the frozen lake had been charmed to make for this muggle sport called ice-skating that she and Evans were apparently into. James had dragged him and the boys down, to follow the girls much to Sirius' annoyance. It was too cold for this. Remus agreed, preferring a cup of hot steaming cocoa back in their dorms but James had managed to convince them by mentioning a certain blonde which had made Remus blush._

_Marlene had caught on to ice-skating rather quickly and had already managed to tackle Jones to the ground where she lay swatting her arms in a frenzy with a wide smile on her face. Her cheeks were red from the cold._

_Even from his distance, Sirius noticed the snowflakes that fell on Jones' face and melted. At that moment he felt particularly jealous of the ones he could see landing on her lips. He frowned. Sixth-year in particular had been strange so far. He couldn't understand why Jones' date with Benjamin had bothered him. All he knew is that he wanted to sock the boy in the face for kissing her._

_As if sensing his gaze Kelsey looked in their direction, looking straight at Sirius with a blank expression. She was still pissed at him for getting her that detention on her very first date. He broke out of his trance when Remus elbowed him and muttered something in his ear while glancing her way. Sirius focused on her and smirked._

_'You're staring' he mouthed. He saw her roll her eyes and remove her glove. She then expressed her not-so-hidden disdain for him with the help of a certain finger which only fueled his need to annoy her._

_He got up, deciding to make his way over and do that in person when he saw a figure skate up to her from behind and jump-scare her. He clenched his fist at how pathetic Benjamin Macdonald was acting in his effort to gain her attention. He didn't see the irony._

_Forgetting him, Jones turned to give the Prefect her undivided attention._

_She smiled at Macdonald with that exhilarated look, one that showed she was happy to see him. Even though it wasn't directed at him, Sirius couldn't deny how her face lit up and how it did things to his insides he didn't appreciate. Deciding that he had seen enough, he instead gathered his belongings and made up an excuse to head back inside._

_"I reckon, I haven't seen anything that pathetic, ever."_

_Sirius stopped in his tracks for he knew that voice._

_"What do you want Reggie?" Sirius was agitated. He didn't have the patience for this now._

_"Tell me: Do you think staring at her like a lovesick puppy will do you any good when you and your hooligan friends harass that mudblood under the pretext of pranks?"_

_Sirius took a deep breath. "Firstly, I do not stare at her - or anyone for the record like a lovesick fool," he insisted. What did Regulus know? The kid hadn't bothered to have a proper conversation with him in two years. "Secondly, what my friends and I do is none of your business." This was not the time and place to address the mudblood comment. He knew how deep his family's influence ran._

_Regulus scoffed and stared at him quietly for a few moments in consideration._

_"You call them friends, I call them a freakshow," said Regulus._

_It was Sirius' turn to stare at his brother in silence. This was the same boy who had looked up to him for ten years. The same boy who ran to him when their mother got too rough. This was the same boy who had drunk the blood purity spiel._

_"What do you want?" Sirius gritted._

_"I keep hoping you'll come to your senses brother. But it seems I'm the only one who does."_

_"Family," Sirius laughed dryly._

_"If you only-" Regulus began again but Sirius cut him off._

_"And to think that I keep hoping that you will come to your senses," Sirius hissed furiously. "And see those two people that call themselves our parents for who they really are."_

_"I'm sure if you can still get Potter over to our side-"_

_"Tell me," Sirius strode over to him to look him dead in the eye. "Who was it that protected you when father dearest drank too much?"_

_Regulus stared back adamantly._

_"Tell me: Who was it who protected you from dear cousin Bella's merciless taunts?" Sirius continued._

_He saw Reggie's Adam's apple bob as he gulped and averted his eyes._

_"And tell me: Who was it that helped you dig a grave for the muggle girl down the street they killed because you smiled back at her at the playground. I reckon not many nine-year-olds have experience getting their hands dirty now do they?"_

_This time, Regulus glared back at him with a cold glare for bringing that up. Instantly, he grabbed Sirius by the collar._

_"You may not remember it, Reggie," Sirius laughed maniacally. "But I was the one who's always been there for you."_

_"And you're also the one who ran away like a coward!" spat Reggie. Sirius' gaze flickered into guilt._

_The dream faded into nothingness as Regulus let go of him reluctantly and walked away._

Sirius woke up groggy and irritated. Those were two distinct memories of two people he wanted nothing to do with. It pained him but he kept a brave face. It was going to be a long day and he could already feel it.

He managed to spend the rest of the day mindlessly going through classes. At one point, he found himself sitting with Remus and Astrid in the library while they sent him funny looks. He didn't talk much instead opting to dwell on the dream that kept haunting him. Everyone else seemed to be walking on eggshells around him. Everyone except Wormtail.

It simply wasn't his day and watching Kelsey talking to that Ravenclaw boy in the library hadn't improved his mood either.

_Who was he to tell her who she could talk to or sit with?_ is what Moony's silent look told him in the library when he felt his stomach drop. And now, he found himself sitting in one the deserted courtyard of the clocktower, while he fought the urge to return to the library and talk to her.

_Why couldn't she have just listened to him?_

He regretted some - no most of his words and her apathy to him as a result of that had been apparent whenever she saw him since.

"You're a fool."

Like deja-vu Sirius felt a familiar presence sit down next to him.

"What do you want?" Sirius turned to see his brother. Memories of the dream resurfaced. Regulus smirked as if amused. "Don't tell me you're back for another black eye?"

"It feels as if we've had this conversation already," said Regulus.

"I thought you'd rather be dead than be seen with a blood traitor?"

Sirius saw something like uncertainty flicker in his expression temporarily but it was gone.

"And I thought that she would have actually lasted longer than your other _frolickings_. Seems I was wrong. Shame really, considering how long you were pining after her-"

"Don't talk as if you know anything," Sirius cut him off in frustration.

"I know enough. I've watched you. I've watched her," Reggie shrugged. "Pegged you for a blood traitor but never a fool."

"Come to tell me to change my mind again have you?" Sirius asked icily.

"I think that we were well past that the day you ran away and left me alone," Regulus seemed agitated.

"You could have come with. I would have still taken you-" Sirius tried to reason with him but more for himself.

"Forget it," Regulus let out a scoff and got up. "I just came to tell you to be careful around the seventh-years from my house..maybe pass on that message t"

"Whatever," Sirius grunted, not bothering to watch as he walked away. He got up sometime later to make his way back to the common room.

"Would that work for you?"

Sirius heard voices as he turned around the corner.

"Sure. It's not as if I see those games anyway. I mean, another Gryffindor versus Slytherin final? It's getting _like_ really predictable," the voice chuckled. "I really could use your help reviewing magical creatures instead. I'm a nightmare in that subject contrary to my popular name."

Sirius paused as Kelsey and that Ravenclaw boy stood in front of him in the hallway as a few other students too made their way back.

Her gaze fell on him almost immediately and she stiffened, making him sneer. He still remembered her walking off with Remus the other night instead of sticking around to serve him detention. Her indifference bothered him even though he knew it shouldn't.

"Didn't realise there were people using the library as an excuse to avoid the shame of not making it to the Quidditch finals," said Sirius.

"It's called studying, Black. Maybe you should try and pick up a book sometime," she squinted her eyes. "..instead of girls. Might learn a thing or two."

"You mean like you?" He didn't know why he said it. But he wanted to make her look at him.

Kelsey gripped her wand and was about to step over to him when the other boy stopped her.

"Don't. You're a prefect," the Ravenclaw boy reminded her.

_And yet she's done much worse_ , thought Sirius. The boy knew nothing about her. Unlike him!

Sirius eyed his hold on Kelsey's arm. She sent the boy a smile. After confirming their plans, they left separately, leaving Sirius fuming in silence.

Sirius stormed into the common room and found Isabelle right where he needed her. Hanging about a less than friendly looking Mckinnon and Lily - most likely asking after him. He sauntered up to them and pulled Bella down onto an empty love seat in a corner and crashed his lips into her without thinking twice.

"I think we need to hold an intervention," James whispered leaning in. Remus and Wormtail looked where his gaze was.

"That's mental," Remus mumbled under his breath as he watched his best-friend furiously snog the lips off a poor girl. It clearly seemed that she was trying to keep up with Padfoot.

"He's back to normal, yeah. That's right," Peter said with a small smirk. Remus caught the expression.

"Just don't look. It'll go away," said Lily joining them. She appeared just as distraught at having witnessed Sirius and Bella's face up close.

"He needs to come to his senses," Remus stated.

"It's pathetic. He's miserable without her. Even I can see that," James contemplated out loud. "And he's showing it in the worst way possible."

"I'd be surprised if she ever lets him within five feet radius ever," Marlene piped up as she took the last empty seat. "I think she told me something about her old man and this trick he taught her to keep boys away. She's talking about going full-" Marlene stopped speaking when she saw Mary and Dorcas enter. They beckoned her over and she left that thought unfinished.

"Now that Marlene's gone," said Lily, remembering why she had joined the boys. "Who's in charge of searching the restricted section next?" she asked.

"I can do it!" Peter chimed in eagerly. This was it. This was his way out as he thought about the plan.

"I thought you'll be in the common room celebrating with us that day?" James bore into Peter.

"O-of course. But I could still do this early in the day. They cancelled the Divination practice sessions." Peter felt a little warm as he lied.

Remus eyed him without being obvious about it. He knew for a fact that they had indeed not been cancelled on good authority from Belter, the other Hufflepuff prefect himself. A sick suspicious feeling made its way to his gut. 

Chances were, it was a harmless lie. But then he remembered the extreme drama surrounding what Kelsey claimed. As much as he hated it, he made it a note to keep an eye on Peter himself. 


	43. Fearless

"Save something for the bedroom would you?!" Sirius called out, making James and Lily split apart from their kiss. Lily blushed while James sported a smug grin as the eyes were now on them.

Around them, the party was in full swing. As expected, Gryffindor had all but crushed Slytherin, earning themselves the Quidditch cup that year.

"Jealous, mate?" James retorted cheekily. Sirius grinned, his eyes appeared hazy. The shots of Firewhiskey were getting to him.

"A gentleman doesn't kiss and tell," Sirius slurred a bit as he walked over to them.

"And that would be you, now would it?" Lily asked in good humour and Sirius nodded.

"Here, watch this." Sirius strode up to a girl who smiled brightly upon seeing him. He sent a wink their way along with a subtle thumbs up.

"What is he doing?" Remus stood next to the pair now. They saw Sirius lean in and whisper something.

"Beats me," said Lily. Her eyes widened and James coughed uncomfortably when the girl slapped Sirius in the face making them flinch. He walked back not appearing even slightly dejected as he rubbed his cheek.

"You were saying?" Lily asked again Sirius had the decency to blush a little this time. He walked away cursing under his breath.

"Nevermind that. Is Wormtail back yet? He said he would check out the restricted section earlier today but I haven't seen him at all," said James to which Remus scowled.

"Maybe I should check the library just in case?" Remus offered. Mumbles of agreement went around. Lily went to keep her friends busy so that they wouldn't miss Remus while James went to grab the cloak.

"Where's he off to?" Sirius asked as he saw Remus leave the party. He had made his way back to them when he saw James undoubtedly handing Remus the cloak.

He thought of the study date Jones was supposed to be on in the library right then. Were they sitting somewhere in a corner right now, snogging under the pretense of revising? Was the slimy git trying to weave his way into her skirt? It made him angry. He had never seen that Ravenclaw so much as look at Kelsey until he had seen them talking that day.

"Think I'll join him." Before anyone could stop him, Sirius Black had followed Remus out of the common room.

"Sirius, wait!" James tried to grab him. It would be too suspicious for the three of them to be seen outside at this hour _in the library_. A student insisting that James see the latest Zonkos product appeared in his way, hiding Sirius from his sight. By the time James managed to politely decline, his two friends were gone. He sent Lily a worried look across the room and she nervously turned her attention back to Marlene with a smile.

Something Jones had said the day they caught her trying to follow Wormtail hadn't sat well with him either although he had kept it to himself. He thought of that in addition to the not-so-subtle hint Remus had brought up soon after. James didn't have a good feeling about this.

ϟ

_'How does one deal with an Inferi? Detail with examples'_

Kelsey wanted to yell in frustration as she stared at the practice question in front of her. She had been sitting in the library for the past hour, alone, while her friends were all at the Gryffindor match. She glanced at the large charmed clock up on the ledge in front of her. They were all probably at the party by now. She remembered hearing roars of cheering when she had briefly peeked outside the window to see a sea of Red and Gold celebrating.

Where was he? Her study partner, the Ravenclaw boy, never showed up. She hadn't been lying when she said she needed help with Care of Magical Creatures. Her only option was to dredge up her notes and read up on Inferis.

She almost regretted forcing Astrid to join Mary and Marlene at the celebratory party. They had begged her to come too, insisting that they would gladly hex any girl that made her way within two feet of _him_ but Kelsey refused. After their brief run-in in the corridor earlier that week she couldn't handle it.

Nevertheless, she wasn't about to fret over the loss of a study partner that never made it. She mentally boosted herself up and instead shifted to reviewing her sixth-year NEWT notes. They were one month away from their exams and that Gryffindor party would have been the perfect spot to relax.

Sometime later, Kelsey found herself glaring at the page in front of her.

_'Kelpie: Not to be confused with the Australian breed of dogs, a kelpie is a shape-shifting water spirit found in the lakes of Scotland. The most famous one being the Loch Ness Monster..'_

She threw her head back and groaned. Why did her thoughts keep coming back to _him_? Even something as simple as studying about Kelpies reminded her of him. Of course, it was his fault for making that name stick..she scowled in concentration.

Boys were a distraction. She knew that now.

The library was a lot more deserted this late, at least it appeared so from where she sat at the back in a corner by the window. She pulled out a highlighter, her trusted muggle study companion, and started underlining the textbook.

_'A few common techniques to placate a kelpie as per renowned magizoologist Newt Scamander..'_

"..is to feed her copious amounts of chocolate doughnuts," Kelsey grumbled under her breath. Her hand moved over the sentence, smoothly gliding over when a noise made her freeze halfway on a sentence.

Kelsey swivelled her head, on alert, to see if anything was amiss but it wasn't. With a shrug she picked the highlighter back and was about to continue when a loud crash made her jump up.

"Hello?" she called out but was met with silence. She took a step towards where she had heard the noise, the restricted section when she stopped herself.

She knew how this ended. She wasn't going to be that idiot from horror movies who went searching after the strange noises. She was too young to die. She had many comic books to read whenever she actually got around to being able to look at them without having it wrench her heart that was. It was the right decision she realised when a few moments later, she saw a figure step out from the shadows.

 _Oh hell no,_ she thought.

The figure was cloaked in dark garb with a strange mask. This was some Marvel villain nonsense. What was with the strange costume? The person took a step towards her. 

_Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope to the hundredth degree._

"Ronan?" she called out nervously. She ducked as a spell hit the wall next to her. She grabbed her wand off the table.

_That was rude. I guess muggle humour isn't everyone's cup of tea._

She peeked up to see the person much closer. She could stay and risk being hexed or run? She didn't like her options. Who even was that? She heard another crash by the restricted section making the figure turn and look.

 _Okay, steady steps. Crouch and creep._ She had made up her mind to escape this unscathed. If she stayed low she could maybe make her way under the desks while staying out of sight. It was the perfect moment since the person was distracted. This wasn't the time to freeze. 

She made it through under two desks when the air behind her shook with force. The person had blasted the desks away, sending splinters everywhere. Her wand fell out of her hand and before she could crawl to grab it, a foot kicked it away. She felt herself become weightless as she was lifted off the ground roughly.

"This is going to be so much fun mudblood." The man- no boy's voice was gravelly and hoarse, muffled by the mask. However, he must have recognised her.

"I mean I get it: being called Ronan the Accuser would hardly make anyone happy but you can't really blame me," she didn't know why she started talking. But it seemed to get his attention away from crushing her throat. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror? I mean that cloak alone-"

He tugged her hair harder making her wince in pain.

_Not a fan of comedy. Noted._

"Are you done?" he hissed, turning his head to look at the restricted section again but heard nothing.

"Might I interest you in an X-Men villain instead?" She eyed her wand on the ground behind him. "I'm sure I can think of someone who better fits your aesthetic, yeah?"

She could see his patience die in that exact moment as he threw her back with force.

She pictured her obituary: Kelsey Jones, Died May 1978. Cause of Death: Unappreciated wit.

Seriously, though, where were superheroes when you needed them? She found herself asking that as she stared at two icy blue eyes through the eyeholes of the mask.

_Ahh, but Miss Jones, it is never too late to be the hero of your own story. We are wizards after all._

The new voice in Kelsey's head shocked her. _I think talking to myself has finally driven me insane._ She used her hands to drag herself back, as the person stepped towards her. _It's just in my head. It's just in my head,_ she chanted to herself, trying to focus. If only she could go around him and grab her wand.

_Of course, it is happening inside your head, Miss Jones, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The last sentence is from the Deathly Hallows book!


	44. Eyes Open

_Of course it is happening inside your head, Miss Jones, but why on earth should that mean it is not real?_

"Who was that?!" The cloaked figure turned around frantically before looking at Kelsey. "What did you do?!"

"You heard that too?" Kelsey wondered in surprise.

"Tell me what you did, _witch_ ," he picked her up as she tried to pry his hands off her robes.

"I mean, I hate to break it to you but we are at a school of witchcraft and wizardry," she said matter-of-factly.

At that moment a spell hit him in the back, making him release Kelsey. She steadied herself against a nearby desk. When he didn't get up, Kelsey rushed to pick up her wand tripping over her own foot in the process.

"It's a miracle you made it this far in life with such clumsy skills."

Kelsey couldn't believe her luck. Of course, it had to be him. 

"We have to stop meeting like this." She looked at the hand that was held out to help her stand back up on her feet. Regulus Black grinned down at her.

"What're you doing here?" Frankly, she was surprised he held his hand to touch her voluntarily.

"Reinforcements," he said mysteriously while sending a furtive glance behind them towards the restricted section.

"I think there's another person in there." Kelsey stared at the boy on the floor. The silver mask covered his face. "Is-is he one of them?"

"If you mean Death Eater, then yes. Probably one in training..proving their loyalty to the ranks and whatnot. I've seen masks like those back at my family house." Regulus nodded to Kelsey quietly beckoning her to follow him where the second person apparently was. They entered the restricted area.

"He has to be a student! We need to go back and uncover him and tie him up or something-"

Regulus put a hand up to his mouth telling her to stay quiet when they heard scuffling behind the large shelf.

Kelsey took the lead and stepped forward carefully, keeping an ear out for any more noises. From the corner of her eye, she saw something move and hastened towards it.

"AHA!" She jumped over to the next row of books only to be met with emptiness. All that was there was a book lying on the ground.

"Please, for the love of Salazar never, and I mean never, become an Auror," she heard Regulus mumble behind her. The tip of his wand was lit with a _Lumos_ and he waved it around trying to see if they could find anyone.

Kelsey picked up the book on the ground and studied the cover: _'Dark Magic: A History of Family Secrets'_ She opened it and skimmed the table of contents.

"Looks like it's clear here. Look.." Regulus pulled the book away from her grasp before she could read further. "..I'll go and get a professor, you stay here okay? I trust you can look after this much?"

"Guess I'll watch over Ronan over there," she agreed reluctantly when she realised Regulus wasn't going to hand the book back to her. With a nod, he left. 

The restricted section was empty now. She wasn't imagining it because even Regulus seemed to have heard someone. So whoever it was must have run away. He would be back with a professor soon enough.

More importantly, how did he find her? And what had he meant by reinforcements? The answer evaded her as she walked back to the unconscious body. Her belongings were now scattered on the floor making her sigh as she bent to pick them up, keeping one eye trained on the unconscious boy.

She could...but she shouldn't..she was tempted to unmask him. It would be just like Fred Jones in Scooby-Doo. It was a shame she didn't have a dog. The thought made her giggle before becoming upset by it: Sirius.

Had they really just thrown that away?

She heard the faint sounds of footsteps scurrying behind her making her turn. It was too soon for Regulus to be back.

"I really wish you had stayed away, Jones," Peter Pettigrew came into sight and walked over to her. "Now, where's the book?"

Kelsey wished she felt vindicated over Pettigrew's involvement but was instead left with a sick feeling in her stomach. 

"This time, I'm not letting you go, you rat," she spat, ignoring his question. Regulus had taken the book with him and she hadn't even gotten a chance to check it out properly.

"Please just tell me where the book is. I-I don't have a choice," he was both, terrified and anxious. His patience was wearing thin.

"You'll have to fight me for it," she lied.

_'Expelliarmus!'_

_'Sectumsempra!'_

Kelsey didn't recognise the spell Pettigrew threw her way and wasn't able to dodge it. She saw Pettigrew's wand fly from his grip the same time the spell hit her.

"Kelsey!" Just in time, she saw Sirius' horrified face appear behind Pettigrew as she fell to the floor in pain. There was a lot of blood. As her eyes closed she saw a bright flash of a tall man appearing next to her.

_'I think you've done enough Mister Pettigrew'_

_'What did you do to her?!'_

The voices grew fainter as she heard a rough smack. She heard Albus Dumbledore mumble incantations. Someone charmed makeshift bandages to wrap themselves around her. It was becoming too heavy for her to stay conscious. 

ϟ

When Kelsey came to eventually, her head was in someone's lap and everything hurt.

Her eyes opened and she saw Peter Pettigrew and Atticus Mulciber restrained in a corner. Pettigrew was shivering while Mulciber was knocked unconscious still. She put two and two together.

She tried to get up but someone harshly pushed her back down. "Stay still Miss Jones, I am still fixing your gashes. Some were quite deep," Madame Pomfrey chided her sounding displeased. Kelsey looked at the nurse's face upside down but even she could make out the frown. The anger with which the nurse was treating her wounds would make anyone think that she was the one who did this to herself.

"Irresponsible," muttered the nurse. "Can't believe they didn't bring her straight to the hospital wing...the amount of blood she has lost..unbelievable!" The nurse waved her wand furiously closing up the last remaining wounds although it still left Kelsey in pain.

"That will be all Poppy," Dumbledore spoke up. "I will make sure she comes to you right after our discussion. It was critical that Miss Jones got immediate treatment."

The nurse looked at Dumbledore murderously but let go of Kelsey. She walked out of the office in a huff.

Kelsey took in the shelves and portraits around her as she got up to sit in the lounge chair that had been conjured for her treatment. They were in Dumbledore's office.

"Miss Jones, I'm glad to see you're feeling well..let's just say better."

Startled, she nodded, eyes skimming over the room and its occupants and froze.

"Professor, I really think we should take her to the hos-"

"Not now, Mister Black," Dumbledore held up a hand to stop him. She took note of Sirius, Potter and Remus in the other corner, with bags under their eyes looking worse for the wear.

"W-what happened?" she croaked.

"Something that never should have been a burden for students as young as yourselves to bear," Dumbledore sighed sadly. He glanced at Mulciber.

"Why are _they_ here?" she stared at the three boys. Dumbledore sent her a small tight-lipped smile. "And how did you know to show up when you did! I heard from you! In my head. It was you wasnt it."

"I'll have you know that I have sent Professor McGonagall to your parent's house in London to take them into protective custody preemptively, given the attack on you-"

"They WHAT?!" Kelsey was horrified.

"I think it was a chance encounter," Potter cut Dumbledore off as well. "It appears as if they didn't expect Kelsey to be there. They were using Wormtail to find out about the spell and information in the book. But it seems you already have it." Potter eyed the Dark Magic book suspiciously on Dumbledore's desk. It was the same one that Regulus had snatched from Kelsey's hand earlier in the library.

"Hey, that's the book-" Kelsey shut her mouth when she saw the warning look on Dumbledore's face.

"I think it's time I told you about the Order of the Phoenix, Miss Jones," he decided. Kelsey nodded warily as the boys tried to catch her eye. She continued ignoring them out of principle.

The office door burst open and Lily rushed in, hair sticking out everywhere, makeup smudged, and in her night robes. Her eyes landed on Kelsey and she rushed over pulling her into a hug which Kelsey again, on principle, did not return it.

She was mad, confused, hurt. And beyond all petrified. Kelsey had never felt so alone despite being in a room full of people.

Lily smiled at her to which she only nodded.

"As I was saying.." began Dumbledore.

An hour later Kelsey was still sitting in her lounge chair next to Lily. She had since drank a few healing potions that had been left by Madame Pomfrey and was feeling better physically. Mentally, she felt as if her head might explode from the information that had just been dropped on her.

"Just to clarify.." Kelsey wasn't sure if she was really dead and this was in her head again because none of this made sense "..you have been running a secret underground group to fight against Death Eaters," she pointed at Mulciber. "Members of this Order, that Potter and crew were supposedly researching information in the restricted section which - I told you so for the record - the rat was passing along information to _them_."

"And then you," she narrowed her eyes at the headmaster again. "Showed up in the library with those two," she pointed at Sirius and Remus, "Just as Pettigrew hexed me with, Merlin knows what spell and t-that's it?"

"That would be the gist of it, yes," nodded Dumbledore.

"The gist?!" she shrieked "Why is he even here still?" Glare was a charitable word for the contemptuous look she threw Pettigrew's way. He had a black eye and a split lip, and she had briefly noticed the injury on Sirius' hand.

"We are currently trying to locate Mister Pettigrew's parents who it appears had been taken by You-Know-Who's followers. It was how they appeared to have persuad-"

"And why are you having kids - seventeen-year-olds, doing your dirty work?!" Kelsey felt guilty about Pettigrew's missing parents but it didn't lessen her anger towards the rat. That spell could've been lethal if the headmaster had not shown up right then.

"We were hoping to get fresh minds on some text about certain Dark Magic," his gaze flitted to Mulciber who was starting to stir. "But that's a tale for another day."

"I think you should tell her the rest," Sirius spoke up for the first time in an hour.

"All in good time Mister Black," said Dumbledore. "Now if Miss Evans and you boys would please escort Mister Pettigrew and Mister Mulciber to the bottom of the stairs outside my office, I'm sure you will find Professor Slughorn waiting to take over."

Sirius seemed reluctant to go but he did anyway. Lily patted Kelsey on the shoulder and said she would wait for her outside. When the room had cleared again, Dumbledore spoke again.

"Miss Jones I take it that news of the younger Mister Black being present in the library shall not be made public among your friends."

 _Friends_ , Kelsey wanted to scream at that word. 

"You mean, _you_ sent him?" she laughed dryly. Why was she not surprised?

"It seems that we still need his services as he currently stands."

"Wow," she remarked. "Your secrets have secrets. How did you make that happen?"

Dumbledore winked at her. A portrait on the wall yawned and suddenly Kelsey too realised how tired she was.

"Regulus came to me towards the end of last year with certain..concerns let's say. I would rather not divulge further until you decide or not-to to accept the offer I put forth."

"What will happen to Pettigrew?" she asked out aloud to no one in particular. "And what was that spell? They don't teach that at Hogwarts.." 

"He will be suspended for a month since this was a case of unprecedented blackmail. He will be allowed to sit for the NEWTS next month." 

Kelsey frowned. Her initial sense of vindication over being right about Pettigrew was gone. This was a friend of almost seven years the boys had lost. Someone who had volunteered to become an animagus for a boy he barely knew back in third-year. This wasn't a happy ending.

"As for the spell," Dumbledore looked really tired. Kelsey felt bad for pelting him with all these questions but again _she_ was the one who almost did die. "Mister Pettigrew claims to come across it in an unclaimed Potions textbook left in the classroom."

"Tell me, Miss Jones, would you like to be a part of something bigger than you?"

Kelsey snorted. "If that's the lure you're using to bring people into this Order, it's no wonder you got stuck with those four idiots," she smiled wistfully.

What would happen now?

"Miss Evans appears to have the same view it would seem. We always welcome qualified students like you to keep them in check."

"I'll think about it," she said honestly. Truth be told she wasn't sure. She had just gotten her ass handed to her. How could anyone trust her with protecting them?

"I will have you know that the protection offered to your parents will in no way be affected by your decision to join or not." Kelsey considered this in relief. Seeing it as the end of their conversation she got up to leave.

"And Miss Jones?" She stopped right before she was out the door. "Go easy on them. As I said before: These times will test our loyalties and the dark times are far from over." There was a glint of amusement in his eye.

Kelsey paused at the spiral staircase leading down into the main castle. Her uniform was bloodied. She could see a few tears where the wounds had made cuts. She was still weak from the loss of blood.

And yet all she could think of was how everything made sense suddenly. Why they hadn't told her all of this. Their muffled conversations during classes. Their sneaky behaviour. What Sirius had meant when he had said it wasn't his place to tell her yet. She felt some shame for her behaviour. They were all on the same side.

"Kelsey," she looked up as she stepped out of the headmaster's office. "Can we talk?" Sirius asked hopefully. Remus sent her a sympathetic look as her heart tugged.

And yet all Kelsey could hear echoing in her mind was him in a closet and about the castle with other girls, not even a week after they broke things off.

"I have nothing to say to you," she quipped.

"Kelsey please," his voice almost broke.

Her voice caught in her throat.

"I'm sorry. I-I can't do this."

She let herself be taken to the Hospital Wing by Lily.

She would take it one day at a time. She had much to learn and re-learn. She had priorities to fix and lots to examine about her own behaviour. She would tackle their relationship - or lack of soon enough. But now was not the time. She still had some growing to do. 


	45. Out of the Woods

**3 Weeks till NEWTS**

"Psst, Jones," Sirius' breath tickled Kelsey's ear but she steadfastly ignored it.

 _'Amortentia ingredients'_ read the parchment in front of her. It was 3 weeks till NEWTS and she was in the focus zone trying to get some studying done in the library.

"Kelpie!" she closed her eyes and recited the ingredients to herself, calming down.

"Kelsey," the voice was now husky and she couldn't hold it any longer.

"What?!" She slammed the book shut and turned to her right to stare directly into grey eyes.

"Hey," he breathed. All thoughts of scolding him went out the window.

_Wait, why was she mad at him again?_

"Hey," she whispered back. His eyes captivated her.

It was a free period between classes. In the middle of the day, when Kelsey looked like a downright troll after spending nights staying up late to review with Lily, he looked effortlessly flawless. It made her angry.

On the same table in front of her, Lily cleared her throat and sent a glare his way. Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"What do you want?" she turned back to her notes. "I'm busy."

"Funny seeing you here," said Sirius.

She looked at him funny. Was he for real?

He raised his eyebrows hoping she would keep up the conversation. It wasn't new. He had been trying to talk to her for days. One whole week in fact ever since _that_ day.

She slumped in tiredness and rubbed her head.

"Look I meant it." Kelsey wasn't in the mood for this yet. "I need space. Like I told you."

"But we can still study together, yeah?" He pouted. Inadvertently her gaze fell to his lips which were puckered.

_Sweet Helga give me strength. The devil tempts me._

"Space," she reiterated.

"But-"

"Remus," she said grumpily. The werewolf who was sitting next to Lily wasn't surprised.

"On it." He got up and walked over to Sirius. With some effort, he managed to drag his protesting friend away as she waved them off with a fake sweet smile.

"We know you're going to forgive him at some point," Lily began with a sigh when the boys were out of earshot.

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" Kelsey pretended to have not heard that as she saw Sirius look back at her one last time before Remus successfully hauled him out of the library.

It was safe to say that she had mostly forgiven all of them. Everyone except Sirius Black and James Potter of course. But as usual, Lily had all but dragged Potter by the ear and forced him to apologise - no beg Kelsey for forgiveness which she did gleefully..eventually.

Several Hogwarts students witnessed the two most popular boys of Hogwarts pleading forgiveness that day. Sirius too had been a part of that scene, willingly, however. He was desperate to have her talk to him - better yet, look at him. In the one week since Sirius would consider himself lucky if he was able to get within five feet of her.

She couldn't. Of all the wounds his had cut the deepest. And she was still getting over it.

"Blasphemy," grumbled Sirius with his arms crossed.

"You should be studying," Remus pointed out as they walked out of the library.

"Says the one who dragged me out of a library," Sirius said cheekily. "'S not fair. Why isn't she talking to me?" he complained. "Why did she forgive you lot?" Remus stopped in the corridor and deadpanned him. "I mean she even forgave Prongs!"

Remus patted his shoulder in solidarity.

"Don't worry. I think she almost gave in this time. Just give her time," Remus advised.

"You mean keep at it?" Sirius perked up.

"No! That is the exact opposite of what I said," Remus couldn't believe it. "I meant space. The thing she specifically requested. Multiple times in the last week in fact."

"But-but you haven't seen that Ravenclaw kid that keeps hanging around her like a lecherous leech." Sirius fumed. "And to think he had the audacity of ditching her on their study date that night. None of this would have happened! And now he's all over her like a sodding perv!"

"Definitely creepy," agreed Remus. "Hanging around a girl who clearly doesn't want anything to do with you."

Sirius nodded before stopping. "Hey, I heard that!"

"I have no idea what you mean," Remus replied coolly with an amused smile.

ϟ

**2.5 Weeks till NEWTS**

"What're you doing?" Astrid sat down next to Kelsey at breakfast a few days later. Classes were almost over and they were about to have two weeks off before NEWTS with special review sessions to be held during their study leave.

"Breakfast," Kelsey said while chewing her food aggressively. She was currently staring at Sirius from across the great hall. She hadn't seen him in the library since that day and here he was: at breakfast reviewing notes with Remus..and some girl Moony tutored.

"Ugh," Kelsey said grossed out, making Astrid follow her gaze. "That's disgusting," she exclaimed watching the girl throw flirty smiles at Sirius.

"Disgusting indeed," Astrid sounded irked. Kelsey turned to see Astrid's plate covered in bits of oatmeal.

"Showwy," she said yet again with her mouthful to which Astrid grabbed the bowl from her hand and placed it on the table.

"You need to stop that," Astrid said knowingly.

"Stop what?"

"Pining for him from across the room."

"Hey- I do _not_ pine after anyone." Yet Kelsey's eyes were glued to the Gryffindor table. She was leaning a little too close to him for Kelsey's liking.

"I thought you weren't talking to him?"

"I'm not."

"And that you hated him."

"I do." Kelsey squinted her eyes as the girl pretended to drop pumpkin juice over Sirius' robes. He got up awkwardly brushing it off while refusing her advances.

"And that you miss him."

"But obviously," Kelsey replied absent-mindedly. Astrid giggled breaking her train of thoughts. "Just for that cheeky comment, we're moving up phase ten of wooing Moony for you."

Astrid paled suddenly, making Kelsey grin.

ϟ

**2 Weeks till NEWTS**

"THIS HAS TO STOP!" Lily slammed her books on the ground.

James jerked up, hiding the parchment he was writing on. It was their last great prank with the boys. He had no idea how Lily found out about it.

"But it's the last one!" he whined. Lily scrunched her face in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" she asked suspiciously.

"What are you talking about?" he turned it back on her, now folding the paper and tucking it into his pocket.

Lily decided it wasn't worth it.

"She's driving me crazy!" Lily sat on the ground next to her boyfriend who scooted up the tree trunk to make space. She made herself comfortable next to him as he threw an arm around her.

"Who?"

"Kelsey!" Lily rested her head on his shoulder.

"Course it's her," she heard James mumble. She smacked him lightly on the arm. "I mean, err, what happened?"

"She says she's not mad at Sirius but she keeps sending him these looks of longing from across the room. It's a bit barmy really. I think Astrid said she saw her drool a bit. But then whenever we point it out to her she freezes up about him and won't hear it." Lily stopped talking for a moment. "I mean - I see her point. But it's still a bit much."

"She could just forgive him?" James offered not knowing what the expected response from him.

"She can't!" Lily protested. "What he did was.."

"Well, he's an idiot.." James considered. "We were all idiots. She was right the whole time. Honestly, I'm surprised that she isn't gloating."

"She's changed."

"So has he," James pointed out. He was loyal as ever and that was only one of the reasons Lily knew she loved him. He'd defend his mates to the death.

"We need to get them back together," Lily decided.

James thought of all the times Kelsey has unintentionally helped him with Lily as an indirect consequence of her prank war with Padfoot. He also remembered all the times, her pranks had unleashed Lily's fury on him. He was conflicted. In the end, his appreciation for her won out. As much as they locked horns, he did consider Kelsey to be a friend.

"I might have an idea," he said as he remembered an end of the year event McGonagall had requested his and Lily's help with.

Lily turned to look at him. Her green eyes shined brightly in appreciation as he explained his idea and he found himself getting lost in them. He knew he had made the right decision.


	46. We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Choking hazard - Please don't eat and/or drink while reading this.

**2** **weeks before NEWTS | The Next Day..**

James Potter was currently watching the result of their latest 'Win Kelpie Back' plan and he was certain that he had made the _wrong_ decision.

It was the next day and most seventh-years were out on the quidditch pitch enjoying the early summer.

With two weeks until NEWTS, Mcgonagall had roped in James and Lily to help organize an ice-cream social for the seventh years as a means to de-stress. This had been the result of several meltdowns by a few Ravenclaws with Lily and Jones almost joining that list. In the middle of the pitch, Florean Fortescue had set up a quasi-stand offering free sundaes: one per student.

So much had happened so quickly.

_Ten Minutes Ago.._

"Are you sure about this?" Sirius ran a hand through his hair anxiously for the hundredth time. His stomach was in knots in anticipation ever since Lily and James had pulled him away yesterday and revealed their 'plan' to help him get back in Kelsey's good graces. At least as much as he could. He couldn't believe how royally he had screwed up.

Knowing Kelsey, it was a miracle she hadn't hexed any of them.

"Positive." James gave him a thumbs up. Lily had spotted Kelsey, Astrid and Remus sitting on a picnic blanket closer to the goalposts.

"It's a simple plan. I think you'll be fine," Lily reassured him with a smile.

"'S not as if he hasn't had years of practice.." James was trying to encourage Sirius who looked as if he may just throw up.

"Flirting with girls you mean?" Lily accused, sounding unimpressed.

"Sshh," James shushed her. "It'll be fine. He's a natural."

"She hates me," stated Sirius. And rightly so. Although, it didn't hinder his desire to get her to talk to him.

"Just be yourself, okay? Charm her," said Lily. "Show her the bo- er man she fell in love with."

"You think she still feels that way?" he asked hopefully with puppy dog eyes. Despite his mild post-breakup affairs, his heart never wandered from Kelsey even once. He would do anything to make it right. As it currently stood, anything meant going along with this plan.

Lily almost felt bad until she remembered how they had ended up this way in the first place. They were a little closer to the trio and they could see their friends sitting. Remus caught James' eye and beckoned them over.

Kelsey and Astrid who were in the middle of eating their ice-cream paused. Kelsey as usual scoffed when she saw Sirius and went back to paying attention to the interesting goalposts instead, admiring the woodwork. Lily saw her friend's reluctance and wasn't sure anymore. But it was too late now.

"What if she slaps me?" Sirius hesitated.

"All's fair in love and war, mate." One last time James patted him on the back and used the same hand to push him forward. There was no going back now.

Kelsey had been in the middle of her brilliant plan to sneakily nudge Astrid towards Remus. Time was running out, she believed. Three weeks and they would leave Hogwarts. Astrid had made good progress with Remus. Now if they could just hurry along and snog each other senseless so that Kelsey could rest in peace. The plan was going fine until _he_ had shown up.

She wanted to get up and leave. But she couldn't because then she would have to leave them alone with Sirius and she was certain the boy would ruin her hard work. So she sat there and watched James Potter shove Sirius to sit with them while he and Lily went off to do their duties.

Beside her, Astrid and Remus were deep in conversation and she did not want to interrupt. Instead, she watched Sirius mumbling to himself looking at the ground as he walked over cautiously. Suddenly, he straightened up a little and strode over with the confident air of an aristocrat.

The expression on his face matched his stride.

"Jones," he drawled as he came closer, breaking into a smile. He secretly prayed that she wouldn't throw the ice cream in his face.

He sent her his million-dollar smile that once again made her stomach flutter. She wished her heart didn't do that thing where it threatened to jump out of her chest in his presence. Yet, warily enough she eyed him trying to judge his end game.

Instead of replying to him, she picked up her cone of green electric mint ice-cream to take a bite. Sirius had an idea. Before she could bite into heaven, he snatched it from her hand.

"Don't mind if I do," he said huskily, trying to lower his voice. He deliberated the cone in his hand.

Kelsey was confused. _What was he trying to do?_

With a comical smirk, he went for an attempted sexy lick of the ice-cream in his try to woo her. Maintaining eye contact, he wet his lips as Kelsey stared in shock and he took a large bite of the ice cream. Her shock turned into horror.

"SIRIUS, NO! YOU'LL GET BRAIN-ZAP!!" She cried loudly, breaking Astrid and Remus from their conversation.

The effect was almost instantaneous. The current shot through Sirius and he spasmed on the spot. His hand jerked, making the ice-cream fall down on his pants with an icky-plop. The cooling charm that prevented the ice-cream from running wore off and almost immediately it started melting.

Her horror turned into amusement as she threw her head back and laughed.

Sirius couldn't believe his luck - or rather lack of. Still, this was better than having her bite his head off. The remnants of the current from the magical ice-cream hit him again and this time he yelped and fell down as his leg lost feeling. He lay on the ground twitching while Kelsey doubled over now.

 _At least she's laughing_ , he thought although it didn't bring him much joy. For once Kelsey appreciated that the embarrassment was targeted at someone other than her.

"Quick!" She held her hand out to Astrid who rummaged her bag and threw something. Kelsey caught the polaroid in her hand and brought it up to her face. Next to the girls, Remus sighed as if he was the one in pain.

The click of the polaroid was heard as Sirius managed to get up.

"That'll teach you to steal my food, Black," she sent him one of her classic playful smiles that they had shared several times over the last seven years.

"What are you doing? Shouldn't you be helping Mr Fortescue?" Marlene asked James and Lily.

Coming back to the present, James Potter was certain. He had made the wrong choice. All they had succeeded in doing was getting Sirius to make a fool of himself in front of her.

Marlene saw the disaster that was Sirius Black drop ice-cream all over himself and then continue to twitch on the ground. When Kelsey managed to stop laughing and commemorating the moment with a photograph, she got up and waved the picture in front of his face.

"On the bright side," Lily said cheerfully watching the scene too. Marlene listened interestedly. "At least she's smiling at him."

"Train wreck," murmured James under his breath as Sirius tripped over the edge of the picnic blanket when he jumped to grab the polaroid from Kelsey's hand which she dodged. Padfoot landed face-first into the ice-cream he had just dropped. Shaking his head in dismay, James left Marlene and Lily to talk to go help with the sundae stand. This wouldn't be as easy.

ϟ

"Are you _really_ sure about this?" Sirius found himself asking James the same question for the second time in two days. This time they had Remus standing by for additional support and to prevent Sirius from making a fool of himself like yesterday.

"Sure as ever, mate. Err at least I hope so," said James. The Head Boy had made last-minute modifications to their last prank of the year. It had been a task since their Map was now confiscated ever since the incident in the library and other events leading up to it.

Dumbledore had banished it to a corner in Filch's office. Personally, James considered it to be among the Top Three Betrayals right after Wormtail when he found out what Dumbledore had done with the map.

"I can't believe I'm saying this," Remus began. "But are you sure that including Kelsey in this um - idea is the best one? We just got on her good side. And she did just agree to join the Order yesterday after the ice-cream social."

"Positive," James brushed their concerns off. "It'll be a perfect way to remind her of the fun times she had pranking Padfoot."

Sirius nodded along deep in thought. It sounded perfect in theory: making her crave the old crazy days; their tiffs; their squabbles; and more importantly the copious amounts of sexual tension that always followed.

The last class of the day had just ended and students were leaving class. A hoard of them was approaching the empty courtyard.

"There she is!" James pushed them back around the corner. "NOW!"

All three boys removed their wands and muttered the spell under their breath. They flicked it as per instructions and soon the air was filled with sparkling creatures that appeared out of thin air. 

Their last prank wasn't so much of a prank as it was an ode to the school they were leaving. It was only right that they did. There were leprechauns, mermaids, trolls, and dragons, all showing up as fireworks in the sky. Students gathered around the courtyard and many more started peeking from the classroom windows on the upper floors.

All together, a song broke out, as the creatures that had been conjured up in the air sang about Hogwarts and the great tirades of the four boys, alluding to their many pranks. A clap broke out as soon as the song finished but that wasn't it.

"This is the best part," James whispered to himself. He just hoped that the self-inscribing poetry spell worked for the three boys had no idea what song was about to come on next. Just that it was supposed to scream 'Kelsey Jones please forgive Sirius Black' in bold. This was a chance they were taking with the self-writing charm.

_Cold as ice_

_She's not very nice_

_Kelsey Jones will make you think twice_

"Prongs, mate," Remus looked panicked.

James and Sirius paled. Down the corridor, Kelsey, Mary, Astrid and Lily stopped to stare at the magical illusion singing a song about Kelsey. They had been enjoying it until the one about Hogwarts ended that is. As soon as Kelsey's name escaped what was now a large Kelpie in the sky, she knew who was responsible.

_But don't be a tool_

_She'll make you drool_

_For her, Sirius Black's already a fool_

Kelsey bit back a smile as Astrid nudged her, looking where the boys stood. The song faded and a large 'I'm Sorry' was scrawled in the air with a magical dog running around the Kelpie. However, her good mood vanished because it seems that the magical creatures appeared to have developed a conscience of their own.

"Put it out!" Sirius whispered frantically to James who was struggling to make the scribbles go away. Up in the air now, the giant black dog was fighting the kelpie. A mid-air brawl broke out.

Kelsey watched reminiscently. Even she couldn't deny that what was happening up there was an exact replica of her tumultuous relationship with the boy. It was bittersweet.

"This is a disaster!" cried Sirius in dismay.

"Don't be a sourpuss and talk to her. See, she's coming over!"

The students were now keenly observing as Kelsey walked over to them with an unreadable expression.

"What do you say, eh?" He tried to imitate conviction. In a casual fashion, he leaned against the stone wall resting on one side. "Forgive me?"

Kelsey could see his muscles bulging under his folded arms. The temptation to reach out and feel him was there. She could all but remember the times he had trapped her between those very same Adonis-like arms. If she hadn't been embarrassed by the kelpie in the air she would have done something stupid. Like kiss him or worse, forgive him.

"To think that I almost forgot.." she swung her hips as she walked with Sirius' eyes glued to her. She batted her eyelashes. She almost missed how fun this used to be. "When it comes to the two of us." Her voice dropped an octave when she pulled in Sirius by his loose tie, "I'll always win."

Up in the sky, the firework version of the kelpie emerged victorious and did a full lap in celebration before dissipating mid-air.

Sirius could feel her breath in his ear as his gaze dropped to her lips which she was biting. She let him go as he stood transfixed and kneed him where the sun didn't shine. But not too hard, just enough to express her annoyance.

 _Regrets_ , Sirius thought as he keened over. Sirius Black had certain regrets about this moment.

"I've always wanted to do that since day one." She dusted her hands as if cleaning them of imaginary dirt while she watched Sirius double over in pain on the ground. This was more painful than the time Wormtail had hit him in the crotch with the hardbound textbook. He should have seen it coming.

James chased after Lily who stormed off in anger at being left out of this plan. Maybe then she could have stopped them from going through with something so stupendous.

Remus was left watching Sirius writhe and croak in agony on the floor. It was a step up from yesterday's twitching, he had to admit.

"Look at the bright side," Remus scratched his head. "At least this time, she touched you."

"Wrong time, Moony." Sirius croaked incoherent sounds.

Kelsey felt a strange sense of familiarity as she walked back with Mary and Astrid. Students around them pointed at where she had left Sirius behind her in the courtyard.

_"Talk about cold as ice," said someone._

_"What was that about?"_

_"Ignore them. It's probably a fourth one of their bedroom games. I heard of this muggle thing called BDSM. The M stands for masochism."_

_The students were staring at Sirius, scandalised, who was still clutching onto his family jewels in agony._

_Someone gasped. "You don't mean to say..that Kinky Kelpie is back?"_

"Kelsey," Mary's giggling distracted Kelsey from eavesdropping on the rest of that.

"Are you alright?" asked Astrid.

"You know guys," said Kelsey. "I've never been better."


	47. Mary's Song (Oh My My My)

**Late May | 1 Week before NEWTS**

A bird flew by Kelsey as she sat on the shore of the Black Lake by herself. She watched it flit around enjoying the spring weather. _At least someone was having a good time_ , she thought when the bird chirped and left.

They had been relaxing between reviewing notes when Mary and she came across two girls whispering about Sirius Black. What she learned had shaken her resolve to keep him at bay. Even after two weeks of self-reflection post-incident, she still didn't know where she stood. But then she had heard the girls whisper those words in awe.

_"I can't believe Dorcas did that?"_

_"You mean put Cathy back in her place?"_

_"Well, yeah..Cathy was going around spreading rumours about herself and Black."_

_"Wish I'd been there to see Dorcas unleash the Bat Bogey Hex on her though."_

_"Well, now that it's resolved, do you think it's true though?"_

_"That Sirius didn't rumble in the sack with a string of girls after Kelpie Jones?"_

_"Yeah.."_

_"Of course he didn't! Didn't you see that whole show a few days ago? Anyone with eyes can see he's barmy for Jones. Although..he did snog Hannah and Isabelle a bit but from what I heard, they didn't even get to second base."_

_"Second base? What's that?"_

_"Oh, it's American slang for.."_

The girls had hurried off soon after. Mary was waiting for Kelsey to speak up only to be met with a Kelsey who was at a loss for words. Something that almost never happened. 

Kelsey was at a crossroads. But she also knew that growing up meant learning to chose which hill to die on. TWas holding a grudge against the boy she loved one of them?

In this tit for tat situation, there would be no winner. Nevermind that, relationships weren't about winners or losers. Only about overcoming hurdles together. The last part, her mother had reminded her in a recent end of the semester letter. 

It had been accompanied by scribbles of her dad writing to tell her how he would be happy to physically 'take care' of any boy who hurt her. She had indeed turned to her parents in her last moments of doubt over her decisions. A lot had happened and more was still to come. Wasn't it better to face it with the people you called family? The friends you had grown to call family?

She thought of the seven years that were over just like that. When the war was over, they still had much to do. Kelsey realised she still had a lot of pranks in her to annoy Potter with. And it wasn't something she could ever imagine doing alone. 

ϟ

"What are you doing?" Remus furrowed his eyebrows.

" _Readin',_ " said Sirius.

"No, I mean what are you doing here? I thought you'd be off bothering and/or stalking Kelsey." Remus sat down next to Sirius at the Gryffindor table. The great hall had been turned into a study room.

"Bringing me to my point." Sirius flipped a page. "I'm looking up spells to lock a room for an hour. I think if I can just get her to talk- listen for an hour..I swear on Merlin's left ball, she's getting warmer. I think I saw her smile the other day. And today she even said hi," Sirius was hopeful.

"You mean when she said hi during breakfast which turned to be a fake-out that ended with her giving you the finger."

"A woman after my own heart," Sirius recounted dreamily. She was acknowledging him ever since the fireworks - no the ice-cream social. It had to mean something.

Remus shook his head. "At this rate, you'll have her talking to you when you both have grandkids."

"That doesn't even make se-"

"It's because you're going about it the wrong way, boys!!"Astrid appeared out of nowhere. She dumped a stack of books on the table in front of them with a thud making them jump. She took a seat opposite them and grabbed a book. "I think you should start with these."

Sirius grabbed the torn halves of a comic book he recognised as belonging to Kelsey.

ϟ

Kelsey tried to release Mary's grip on her wrist as she found herself being led away from the lake. She had shown up some time ago appearing very furious and all but kidnapped Kelsey.

"Where are you taking me?" demanded Kelsey.

"To the Gryffindor Common Room. We need to talk," stated Mary. Her steely grip did not loosen.

Kelsey found herself feeling skittish at the mention of that. Yes, she had decided to have a mature adult conversation with Sirius but it didn't mean she had to do it _now_. More importantly, how did Mary know? Was she secretly a _Legilimens_?

Before Kelsey could protest further they were outside the entrance. "Are you sure about this?" she dug her heels into the ground as a last attempt. She didn't even know what to say to him if she saw him. "Perhaps we can find a better place to talk."

Mary said the password and the Fat Lady swung the door open for them.

The common room was crowded with students studying. But in one corner she saw Marlene dusting a chair and talking to herself as if rehearsing a speech.

"Sit." Marlene looked at Kelsey and then the chair.

"What is this?" Kelsey demanded once more. She wouldn't budge.

"This our lovely Kelsey," said Mary. "Is an intervention."

"You see," Marlene put two hands on Kelsey's shoulders and pushed her down on the chair. "Mary told me about your on and off feelings about Sirius. And the hidden looks. And the eavesdropping on conversations about him. And the glaring at girls who look his way when you think we're not watching you." Kelsey blushed. "We think it's time you two talked."

Kelsey raised her eyebrows, amused. She was going to tell them that their intervention was obsolete since she had in fact decided to do that very thing but she was cut off.

"Don't even," glared Marlene. "Just shush and listen." Kelsey pretended to zip her mouth shut and crossed her arms. "We think you should talk to him. And no- before you object, we're just saying you should talk to him, not forgive him or stick your tongue down his throat. I mean obviously what he did was extremely git-like.."

"..dick-like in fact," mumbled Mary. "Benji would've never done that."

"AND!" Marlene pinned Mary with a frustrated look. "You two obviously have major issues to work out but that won't happen unless you talk."

Kelsey went to speak something again but was interrupted by Mary who went off into a rant.

"It's _like_ really sad watching you stare at him longingly from across the room day in and day out. Just talk to him! Or whatever. Kiss and make up. I think Sirius is driving Potter up the wall too and frankly, this is too much stress for our brains that need to focus on NEWTS!!" cried Mary.

"Are you done?" yawned Kelsey.

"Can you like believe her?!" Mary exclaimed at Kelsey's indifference.

"Of all my habits you had to pick that one," Kelsey chuckled. "Now," she got up. "If you would've let me speak I could've told you that I did decide to talk to him. In fact, that is exactly what I was doing when you decided to drag me away." Her friends looked at her with their mouths open in shock.

Kelsey shifted nervously, gauging their reaction. It was only seconds before they broke out into matching grins.

"OUR BABY HAS GROWN UP!"

"STAY RIGHT THERE WHILE I GET HIM- I THINK I SAW HIM AND MOONY TALKING TO TATTY-"

"NO!" Kelsey lunged to stop Mary when the common room door swung open again.

"Perfect," whispered Mary looking past Kelsey. Kelsey couldn't believe her luck when Sirius, Remus and Astrid walked in looking intent.

"Kelsey!" Sirius was surprised to see her but he strode over to her nonetheless. Kelsey raised her eyebrows put on her best cold face, her eyes flickered to his groin region. 

Sirius instinctively covered his family jewels remembering their last encounter. "Can we talk?"

"Well, err, what do you know it's getting rather late, I think I should head back with Tatty." Kelsey sent Astrid a 'save me' look.

"It's five in the evening," he said.

"Habits change. I'm a new person now." He took a step closer to her and her heart sped up. She was not ready for this. She'd probably say something sarcastic while trying to be nice and ruin it as usual.

"We have a _meeting_ in three hours," he reminded her not believing her lie one bit. Kelsey was about to come up with another lie when Sirius decided to take matters into his own hands. 

"Just sshh," Sirius placed a finger on her lips violently shushing her. This was deja vu with what just happened with Mary and Marlene all over again. "And listen. Please?"Kelsey nodded silently against his finger on her lip. She could bite him but..

"Sirius," she pleaded. She looked tired but he shook his head and started talking:

"When we first met, I remembered thinking if it was possible for a girl to be so badass. Your father giving you self-defence lessons at that station was a sight. When we were 12, it annoyed me that you didn't want to be my friend and of course I wanted your attention. The reason still evades me day but.." Sirius shook his head and went on. "At 13, when we fell in the lake together that one time, I remembered staring into your eyes and thinking if it was even possible for such blue eyes to exist. I think I lost myself in them." Sirius paused. He took it as a good sign that she hadn't stopped him yet. Kelsey appeared to be in awe of his words.

"And ever since fifth-year, I have spent all this time trying to recreate the kiss we had. Because nothing ever came close to it. Pretty sure it should be illegal to have such soft li-"

Remus cleared his throat hinting at Sirius to move on which he did. Kelsey bit down on her lip and let him speak.

"And when I saw you on that date with Macdonald, I think I knew somewhere in my soul that it should be us."

"Rude, but _like_ okay," mumbled Mary in the background. Kelsey suppressed a smile. Maybe she wasn't the only one who had done some maturing.

"All these years, teasing each other, I've never met anyone who's been able to keep up with me and it scared me. But then this year happened and none of that mattered."

Kelsey knew exactly what he meant as they stared into each other's eyes searching for affirmation.

"What I-I'm trying to say is," he paused again, appearing unsure. "I want you, Kelsey. Only you. It's always been you."

Whispers of _Awww_ went around the common room as everyone's attention was now on them. Even Mary was wiping a fake tear while Marlene watched her funny.

"S-Sirius," Kelsey looked at him with uncertainty and a hint of growing happiness.

"I'll stay away if that's what you want. But just take this." He held out the stack of comics. Kelsey held them in her hand and recognised them as the ones she had once torn in a fit of rage. It seemed like a lifetime ago. 

"I should've never said that to you - Blimey if it wasn't the stupidest thing I've ever done. And I've done a lot of stupid things. Even if you don't forgive me yet, I never wanted you to lose yourself especially not when ranting about this stuff makes you, _you_. I'll spend months showing you how sorry I really am-"

"-And how much of a git you've been," Kelsey finally butt in. She was elated. 

"Exactly- wait. What?" Sirius didn't have time to process because Kelsey threw herself in his arms and pressed her lips against his. Sirius was still for a moment in shock while Kelsey continued kissing him. A few moments later he wrapped his arms around her and returned it relishing the feel of her lips on him again.

"What are we watching?" asked a confused Mary when the couple still hadn't stopped kissing five minutes later. It was as if everyone else did not exist in the moment.

"The weirdest un-break up ever," Remus rolled his eyes. Astrid caught his eye across the room next to Lily and he winked at her.

"It's okay Remy. You can be the Robin to this Batman and Cat Woman. Just don't tell Potter," said Kelsey finally breaking apart.

"Is that even English?" wondered Marlene.

"No that's American," Remus said cheekily.

"Oi! Only I get to make fun of her!" Sirius pulled her closer to him, blushing. "I'm so sorry," he cupped her face. "I was a prat."

"A giant prat."

"A massive tit."

"With a massive di-"

"Kelsey!! There are first years here!" Lily cut her off before Kelsey could finish that sentence. With a giggle, they broke apart from their embrace.

"Nothing wrong with sharing the truth Evans," Sirius smirked. "You better get used to it. You lot are stuck with this." He pointed to themselves while Kelsey nodded along looking pleased. Internally, she was already planning ways to go out with a bang after NEWTS ended.

"We've created a monster," Lily realized in horror as Sirius and Kelsey got lost in their own world, bickering over nothing again.

"But would you really have it any other way?" Astrid pointed out. Lily shook her head with a smile already thinking about how James would soon be complaining over missing the entire scene when he found out. 


	48. the last great american dynasty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, please don't drink/eat. Kinda sorta hazardous with this chapter.

"FREEDOM!!" Kelsey almost knocked Astrid to the ground as she jumped to hug her friend in joy. Their friends who were sitting on the grass outside chuckled at her enthusiasm.

"I take that it went well?" asked Lily. As expected, she had been the first to complete their last NEWT paper - Potions.

"About as well. Good thing I can make do with an E in the subject for the muggle PR department," said Kelsey. She took a seat next to Sirius and Remus who were deep in conversation.

"I'm telling you Moony, something was off. The proctor kept looking at me funny," said Sirius sounding confused.

Kelsey smirked to herself as she enjoyed the remnants of her last prank on the boy. She had cast a charm around him that gave off a funky smell to other girls. It was payback for the bucket of water that greeted her on the first day of NEWTS. Admittedly, she had been the one who told Sirius to make sure she woke up. But powering through NEWTS with a cold hadn't been her plan.

Between the proctor and Lily yelling at him about his hygiene (Sirius was lost at that), he had no idea why girls kept running away from him today.

"Kelsey, do you have something to say?" Remus caught on to her stifled laugh.

"You didn't!" Sirius yelled, stopping conversation around them.

"I mean.." Kelsey left the thought unfinished. Remus too grinned, amused. It was one of her better jokes.

"Now they'll think I don't shower!"

"It didn't affect your exam now, did it!" Kelsey replied. "Unlike some people." She was talking about herself. 

Sirius was about to reply something snarky when he stopped. "You know.." he trailed off, as their friends busied talking among themselves. He covertly glanced at the water body a few feet away. It was the perfect day to spend their time outside after finishing their exams. Kelsey rested her chin on her fist and stared at him. "It's not November anymore. And apparently, I could use a fresh bath."

Sirius had Kelsey in her arms before she saw it coming.

"Sorry Jones." Just like last time, he held her close to him while she struggled in his arms bridal style. "But bad girls get punished," he leaned in to whisper huskily before jumping into the lake with her.

They both fell in with a splash. Their friends around them didn't even blink an eye.

"Sirius Black, you-" Kelsey started splashing water on him while yelling expletives as they emerged. Sirius grabbed her by the waist to try and stop her to which tried to grab his shirt to duck him underwater.

"How-" She pushed Sirius down.

"Are you-" He came up for air.

"So strong?" He spluttered. Finally, he was able to knock her down by gripping her legs underwater and making her fall back in with him. None of their friends bothered to interfere.

As they exited the lake five minutes later, Sirius' gaze fell on her now transparent shirt which showed her lacy red bra underneath. He gulped. Kelsey noticed where his sight was.

"Well, I was wearing it for us later," Kelsey tugged his tie and pulled him in closer. They were standing inches apart at the edge of the lake.

"Uhuh," Sirius replied blankly.

"Shame it got ruined," she batted her eyes.

"Nevermind that," he pulled her in by the waist even closer. "I have a bed where you can dry it perfectly fine."

Only now, ten feet away, did their friends seem disturbed.

"I think I liked them better trying to drown each other the lake," James complained under his breath while Astrid blushed at the couple's bold public statements.

Kelsey pulled away playfully just as he went to kiss her when an unexpected presence showed up, halting all conversation in their group.

"Hey guys."

Kelsey never thought she would have to resist the urge to murder someone until that moment.

Peter Pettigrew stood in front of them shifting awkwardly on his feet. He couldn't meet their eyes and it looked as if he had lost a lot of weight. Yes, they had seen the boy from a distance while sitting for NEWTs but no one except Lily, who always chose to see the good in people, was kind enough to approach him. There were a few times James almost gave in to ask about Wormtail's parents but the betrayal still stung.

Sirius saw the anger flare in his girlfriend's eyes and had to restrain her. He could feel her breathing heavily against him.

"C-c-can I t-talk you guys?" Peter finally spoke up a few moments later.

No one said anything for some time. James looked at Lily nervously to which she smiled back assuringly.

"I guess.." James got up, hinting at Remus and Sirius to follow. The four boys walked a little farther from the group before they started speaking. Kelsey scoffed and sat back down next to Lily. She pulled out her wand to magically dry herself. No one said anything as they watched the boys talk in hushed tones.

Eventually, James patted Peter on the shoulder as the mousy boy burst into tears. It looked as if he was trying to comfort him.

Sirius stayed mum the whole time while looking at Kelsey every few seconds. Finally, he said something to which Peter appeared to nod, and with that, the boys walked back. 

Remus suddenly stopped and walked back to say one final thing to Peter with a sad smile. The boys waved him off.

"What was that about?" inquired Kelsey.

"A secret," Sirius winked at her. She deadpanned him as if to remind him how that ended up last time.

"Long story short, we forgave him," said James.

"..of sorts," said Remus.

"I did tell him to talk to you," Sirius brought up. "But probably not yet. I told him to give you some time to err- cool off."

"He'll be waiting a long time," Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"That was very mature of you three," Lily was surprised. James grinned as he laid his head down on her lap.

"I know right," James too sounded surprised.

Sirius stared at Kelsey who sat chatting with Astrid and Moony. Her last attempts to get them together. He knew that Kelsey was convinced something was going on between them but neither werewolf nor the blonde girl had betrayed any secret affair so far.

Soon enough they broke into immediate post-Hogwarts plans with Sirius picturing his newly acquired flat. It was a two-bedroom and Moony would be moving in with him.

"I know that I'm _like_ still a teenager but I will have a fit if he keeps at it!" Kelsey was complaining about how her father was trying to be strict with her about Sirius when she moved back in. Keyword: trying. It was funny and warmed Kelsey's heart and was a tad bit embarrassing on Theo's end if she were to ask her mum. "I mean it. If he were a wizard, he would've surely charmed the door to stop me from leaving after nine to meet Black!" To say her father wasn't thrilled about her and Sirius was an understatement.

"Then move in with me." The words left his mouth before he could process what he had said.

"I'm sorry what?" Kelsey was astonished.

"Move in with me Jones," Sirius looked at Remus. "I mean if umm Moony's fine with it too-"

"I'm sure Kelsey will be a sufficient housemate should she choose to move in," Remus said sounding bored. "Might even be a step up from having to live with just you," he added softly. Astrid giggled.

"We've been living together for seven years!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Don't I know it," Remus rolled his eyes. "Pretty sure it shaved a few years off my life."

"What do you say, eh?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her. In no time she threw herself at him, a common occurrence for a few days now, and started kissing him senseless.

"Ugh, you guys make me sick." Mary pretended to gag.

"Think we'll all be together in a year?" Lily wondered out loud. She was excited to move in with Astrid near Diagon Alley for the Apothecary apprenticeship

"Reckon we'll be married in a year Evans," James was confident.

"Only if you make it out alive, Potter," retorted Lily. As the group went on with their lives, they would soon have their roles in the Order confirmed soon. Mary and Marlene had joined as well.

 _The calm before the storm_ , Lily thought. She started weaving her fingers through James' hair and he looked up and pouted. Kelsey giggled resting against Sirius. None of them noticed when Astrid and Remus disappeared for a stroll.

"Psst," Lily whispered to Kelsey who leaned over. "Want to know a secret?" Kelsey nodded.

"If he asked..I'd probably say yes, but it's good to knock his ego down once in a while." They giggled as Potter dozed off. 

ϟ

**1 Month Later**

_Riiing!_

Sirius jumped in surprise as the newly installed telephone in the apartment went off.

"Oi, Jones!" He called out from the living room. Kelsey emerged from the bedroom with a box in her hands. It was move-in day and they were only halfway through.

"Hello?" She picked up the phone as Sirius continued to stare at the contraption suspiciously. He couldn't believe that muggle devices worked in the apartment despite Remus explaining to him how telephone lines functioned. 

Kelsey nodded and hmm-ed a few times into the receiver. She put the phone down. "That was mum. Dad should be here in a bit with the rest of my stuff," she said.

"Joy," murmured Sirius. It was no secret that in the one month since Kelsey had announced to her parents, well her father mostly, that Sirius had been threatened with bodily harm on several occasions during family dinners that Kelsey insisted on for him to get in his good graces.

Sirius watched his girlfriend from the window as she helped Theo Jones unload a few boxes with kitchenware. It was a good thing that she was here. It was also a good thing that Remus did not trust them to survive alone.

He watched her trying to convince her father to come upstairs which he begrudgingly relented to. An idea crossed his mind. Originally, he was going to do it during their monthly dinners with the Order, specifically in front of Dumbledore and McGonagall but he realised that having her father here was even better.

With mischief on his mind, he went to their room and headed for the box he had stuffed under the bed. Kelsey had no idea it existed.

It was also a good thing that Remus was out for the day to 'browse some books'. Sirius knew it was a cover for meeting Astrid. But he was happy for his mate and was happy that Remus was possibly getting some.

Toying with the item in his hand now he exited the bedroom and fixed it on the dining table right in view of the front door. He left the door open for Kelsey and Theo since they would probably have their hands full.

"Daad!" The voice carried up the staircase. "Can we not talk about this, please? Contrary to popular belief Sirius Black is not out to corrupt my innocence." He heard muffled grumbles. "Besides, that ship sailed long ago."

"WHAT?!"

"Kidding!" Kelsey covered for herself lest her father burst in through the door and murder her boyfriend. They were a lot closer now and Sirius hid in their room.

Theo Jones was the first one to enter.

"Anyway I'm sure you two will get along if you just get to know him." Kelsey finally reached the landing and entered the apartment behind Theo. 

Why was her father frozen still? Her eyes widened as she stared at the _thing_ Sirius had left as a present for her father to find.

The purple dildo stood tall and proud with its suction fixed onto the dining table. Kelsey had never seen it before.

"Kelsey," Theo squeaked in dismay. "Tell me I'm imagining things," he pleaded. "That it's the magic in this place making my brain go woozy."

Only now did Sirius pretend to come out of the bedroom and be shocked at the sight in front of him.

"Kelsey! I can't believe you left it out _again_!" He faked his horror. "Sorry 'bout that Mr Jones, you know how forgetful our Kelsey can be leaving _her_ things around the house," he said. "Bugger that's embarrassing," he mumbled under his breath just loud enough for Theo to hear. The man sucked in a gasp.

Sirius grinned triumphantly as Theo Jones looked as if he was going to have a heart attack.

"Y-you," Kelsey spluttered trying to find words. "Dad that isn't mine!" She protested but he remained silent, eyes glued to the ten-inch object.

With a frustrated sound, she marched over to the table and ripped it off.

"What. Is. This?" She shoved it in front of his face.

Of course, Sirius being Sirius bought a silicone one. One that wiggled forcefully when Kelsey shoved it in front of him only to have it bounce back and hit her in the face.

Behind her, a box fell to the ground with a crash as her dad let go in shock and sat back on a chair when he watched his daughter get smacked in the face comically with an adult toy. Kelsey closed her eyes and counted to five.

Ten minutes later, Astrid and Remus entered the apartment eager to share Astrid's housewarming present. They stood, mouth agape, at the sight in front of them:

Kelsey was chasing Sirius around the living room with a purple dildo that jiggled violently every time she tried to hit him with it. On the armchair in a corner, Theo Jones sat with his head between his hands, permanently scarred. 


	49. Love Story

**3 years later | July 31st, 1982**

"Pafoo!!"

Sirius looked down to where the sound came from only to find his godson, Harry James Potter, reaching up to him, arms outstretched.

Something was wrong with this picture. Where were the adults responsible for him? It took a few moments before he realised that technically, he too was an adult responsible for the boy.

"Hey, there little fella." Sirius picked him up. "How did you get here by yourself? Where's mama and dada?" Harry pointed to the living room gaping at Sirius with wide eyes.

Sirius walked further into the house in Godric's Hollow. The living room was decorated with streamers and Quidditch themed goods. Harry clapped his hand in joy as a magical party-broom whizzed past them.

"There he is!" James called out hurrying over. To say he appeared panicked would be an understatement.

"Can't believe you lost him in your own house," Sirius was amused. "Again."

"Well, it wouldn't have happened if you bothered showing up on time. Nice of you to make it finally," said James trying to wrestle Harry from Sirius' arms. It appeared that Harry did not want to let go.

"You had all the help here," Sirius pointed to Kelsey and Astrid in the room. Kelsey was by the table of drinks downing wine while Astrid was organizing a little game for Harry's friends from her daycare.

"That girlfriend of yours is no help! Remind me again why we made her the godmother?" grumbled James. He gave up and put Harry on the ground who immediately ran off to play with his friends.

"She said she wanted to be the cool aunt," Sirius shrugged. "Plus, Lily was still emotional from the time Kelsey fought those expecting fathers at that baby store for the stroller raffle _and won_."

"Where's Evans anyway?" he looked around the room to see a few adults from Harry's daycare he recognised and their usual group.

"Lily's been sick all day so Moony went to help with some potions upstairs." James was worried. It was typical for Lily to get stressed by planning events to the tee. They walked towards the stairs leading to the first floor to see Remus coming down. The doorbell rang behind them.

"I'll get it," said Remus.

James and Sirius were in conversation when Harry appeared in front of them. A gleeful expression broke on his face and ran towards them with his arms outstretched again. Both men, suckers for Harry jumping into their arms held their arms out for him at the same time but the toddler ran right past them.

"Unca Reggie!" exclaimed Harry and jumped into Regulus' arms.

"Happy birthday my little man!" Regulus bounced Harry up in the air as he giggled.

Both James and Sirius scoffed in disbelief, glaring at the man who had just entered.

"I'm _like_ literally his father!"

"I'm his godfather! And the better-looking sibling!"

Regulus wasn't paying attention to them as Harry held up two fingers to show the younger Black brother how old he just turned. Remus was busy placating his two mates who were convinced they had been wronged. 

"Someone miss me?" Regulus' face broke out into a smirk while the other two complained about Harry being a traitor. Minutes later, Kelsey walked in to find three grown men fighting over Harry's attention, a sight that didn't baffle her anymore.

Somehow, three years later, it had all worked out.

_Kelsey, as decided, had joined the Order after graduation. Her position in the muggle relations department made her a target yet it allowed her to directly help protect those who needed the help the most. Soon enough the others too got busy with their assignments. It was stressful and there were a lot of fights. A lot of late nights._

_About a year after graduation and moving in with Sirius, James and Lily tied the knot. And a few months later she was pregnant._

_It was chaos. That is to say, it was chaos as the friends fought it out for the godparent positions. It was the few light-hearted banters that kept their spirits high in the war efforts. They needed it, especially when people were dying left, right and center._

_When news of the prophecy came to light thanks to Snape, the Fidelius charm did its trick. The charm was never broken and right around 1979, Regulus finally made his involvement with the cause known._

_It was Regulus who had put the pieces about Horcruxes together between his knowledge of Death Eaters he knew through association with the Black family. It had been a scene as Sirius and Regulus got into a fistfight followed by a lot of sorrys and hugging while Dumbledore calmly tried to explain that Regulus had been working for the Order since 1978._

_In 1980, the stress between Lily's delivery and the race to find relics had all of them hunting down horcruxes. Luckily with the brains of Lily, Regulus and Remus combined they managed to have them destroyed a week before Harry was born. On Harry's first birthday, Voldemort, a former shell of himself, without any Horcruxes, was killed trying to gain access into Godric's Hollow. It was Frank Longbottom who had made the final move on the feared wizard._

_Most of the Death Eaters were caught and the hunt for those who escaped was still on. James and Sirius spent many weeks away at a time as Aurors. Remus and Regulus had opened up a shop of their own in Diagon Alley where Lily often sold a special stock of the potions she made._

"This was on the porch," Regulus held out a box. It was addressed to Harry from Peter Pettigrew. The group smiled reminiscently.

_Once Voldemort was gone, both Snape and Wormtail disappeared. Pettigrew's friends eventually forgave him after Voldemort's death but the man still kept his distance not deeming himself worthy despite Lily's insistence. The mistakes made at seventeen shouldn't be what defined him, she insisted. But Peter chose to be a part of their lives from a safer distance. After all, he spent three years after Hogwarts in Australia under new identities with his parents._

"Ashamed," reprimanded Kelsey, interrupting their banter. "I am thoroughly ashamed. You three need a better purpose in life." And with that, she was the one who successfully snatched Harry away from them. But her motives weren't exactly innocent either. She was about to use her godson as a decoy for her latest plan: Sirius Black is the new Purple.

As the birthday party continued, Lily eventually made her way downstairs for the cake cutting. Sirius furrowed his eyebrows and made his way over to her and Kelsey who were in the middle of heated whispers as they stood cutting the cake into smaller pieces to be served.

"No, for the last time, I will absolutely not let you use my son to-"

"Blimey Evans," said Sirius as he took in how pale Lily looked while she furiously grabbed paper plates and put cake on it. "It's just a kid's party. You didn't need to stress yourself sick."

Lily stopped mid-sentence and turned to glare at him with full ferocity of a mother scorned.

"You know what Kels," she said with a steely smile. "Be my guest." Kelsey cooed Harry enthusiastically, whispering something in his ear.

Sirius looked at them as Lily busied herself, charming the plates to float over to guests.

"Oi, where's mine?" Sirius watched a plate of strawberry cake float past him.

"Harry has a special one for you, doesn't he?" Kelsey nudged Harry who held out a purple blackberry currant cupcake.

Sirius, who knew better than to accept food from Kelsey, looked at Lily who shrugged. He took it as a green light and grabbed it. Lily would never let Harry be involved in one of their pranks ( _yet_ ). And they were too chicken to do anything behind her back.

After eating the cupcake, Sirius made his way over to Remus and Astrid who was standing in a corner, enjoying the party in silence. He distractedly toyed with the box in his pocket.

"So, did you decided to do it?" asked Remus.

"What if she says no?"

"Did you talk to her parents?"

"Kelsey's mum was elated. Theo was agreeable.." Sirius drifted off.

"The man hates you."

"Pfft," Sirius scoffed. "He loves me." Remus looked at him unconvinced.

"He can barely stand being in the same room as you. Especially since that adult toy incident.." Astrid reminded him.

"That was three years ago! It'll be fine."

"It took him six months to look Kelsey in the eye! And only after she insisted it was yours, although I don't see how that was any better."

Astrid considered how the children at her daycare adored Kelsey's visits. Unfortunately, it was her who had to fend off angry parents who kept asking where their children picked up such unholy words from.

"SHE DID WHAT?!"

"I'm sure Theo will come around." Remus cut him off before he could lose it and add more words to the children's vocabulary. He spied at least five in their immediate vicinity.

Sirius grinned cheesily as Kelsey beckoned him over to the dance floor where kids and adults were dancing.

"Can you imagine?" Kelsey asked as they swayed to a soft tune later when the party was finally settling down.

"Yes, love?" murmured Sirius.

"We've come a long way. From that first quidditch party where I thought you were finally kind of okay to right here. And to think I almost danced with Augustus Bell at that party." Her eyes scanned the room where all their loved ones were. Lily and James were dancing together in a corner holding Harry between them.

"Who?" Sirius had vague memories of that party including how jealous he was of some bloke trying to dance with her. Some bloke that wasn't him.

"That seventh year Gryffindor you said was the two-pump chump?" said Kelsey innocently.

"Wouldn't know," said Sirius as it came back to him.

She looked at him shocked.

"Sirius Black you are _like_ so dead! The guy just wanted to dance with me! A-and you made him out to be some poor sod who can't satisfy women!"

Sirius chuckled. "Sorry, but have I ever given you a reason to be unsatisfied," his voice was low as his hands now wandered down her body on her hips. "Admit it. You can't resist this, Jones." He leaned in to lightly nip her ear.

"Says the man who'll be sleeping on the couch tonight," Kelsey joked.

"Says the one who'll yell at me to come back and cuddle in less than fifteen minutes." Sirius knew her too well. Kelsey bit her lower lip as they gazed at each other heatedly. Sirius distractedly felt for the outline of the box in his pocket as he considered his next move.

"Excuse me, but this is a G-rated party!" Astrid called out.

"Can you _like_ believe it?" Kelsey rolled her eyes. "After all the effort I put in for 'Plan: How to Woo a Marauding Werewolf', this is the thanks I get."

"After the what?!" This was the first Sirius was hearing of it. Ever.

Kelsey patted his head with a secretive smile. "A story for another day, babe." She winked at Astrid, eyeing her hand that was entwined in Remus'.

Before Sirius could protest, he felt a little funny. Squeals from the children around them drew his attention to the fact that they all appeared to be pointing at them - no just him.

"You didn't!" Sirius was horrified as he felt the magic work its way through his hair. Not again! At least a few times every year, it was a game of what colour their hair would be. Last time, Kelsey had been left with Red and Gold hair for the second time in her life (which didn't come off for a week). Luckily that was around Halloween.

"Oh but I did!" Kelsey gleamed.

"And Lily let you use Harry?" He sent accusatory looks at her while James stifled a laugh.

"Should've known better than to piss off a sick Lily, mate," defended James.

Sirius grumbled. Kelsey burst into laughter, cooing him as he helplessly tugged at his locks in dismay. This was payback for Sirius sending some very x-rated strippers to Kelsey's place of work at 3 pm no less to embarrass her. 

Even at the Ministry, Sirius had made sure that Kinky Kelpie lived on. Three years later, there was never a boring day between them and Sirius was sure that it would never die out.

This was their love story.

Once more, Sirius subtly felt for the box in his pocket, as he pulled it out and knelt on one knee. The spitfire in front of him was definitely the right person. He stared at the smile that lit up his heart.

Kelsey watched in surprise as a purple-haired Sirius Black knelt only to be met with a piece of cake on the ground as his knee dug right into it. It didn't even faze him. He grinned and looked up at her expectantly. 

Somehow this completed the picture. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Of course I couldn't write this story without using Love Story as a chapter title.
> 
> A special thanks to Bri_h, trenko_heart, poetryandtragedy, vvlshema2804, OliviaJ, Awakened_Panda, anitafurlan, AnaTaliesin, kuromeen, zoobabystation, gunsandthrones, and siriusblackisbae for all your lovely feedback! 
> 
> I'm sorry if I missed someone. I scrolled through the comments to note down readers I recognized. If I missed you - Thank you so much and I hope you enjoy the epilogue!!


	50. The Story of Us (Epilogue)

**Last week August 1991**

"Mum!" Harry called out from his room. He was in the middle of packing for his first day of Hogwarts..which was a week away. It was safe to say that his father's tales of countless shenanigans had excited him to no end. But in the middle of it all, he had found the most peculiar thing.

He had been sorting through the pictures of home to carry with him when the strangest one slipped out from the pile and onto the floor.

"What the-" Harry held the photograph a little closer. He saw a young boy that looked a lot like him wearing the strangest red and white pinned tailor-suit. There was another handsome boy with long hair in the picture. Both held canes and appeared to be dancing in the most ridiculous fashion. So he called for his mum only to have both his parents show up.

"What happened?"

Instead of replying, he showed them the picture with a questioning expression.

Lily and James shared a look. With a secretive smile, Lily sat down on the bed and patted the space next to her. James leaned against the door frame, arms crossed.

"Harry, I think it's time we told you the story of how your aunt Kelsey convinced me to go out with your arrogant toerag of a father. You know..through her love-hate vendetta against uncle Padfoot," said Lily with a teasing look at her husband.

"You mean aunt Kelpie who's currently in Geneva coordinating non-profit work for underprivileged muggleborns?" Harry asked skeptically. Over the years he had only heard of allusions to their infamous hate to love story but never the full picture. He almost couldn't believe it. Almost.

Lily nodded.

"And Padfoot who ended up in muggle prison last week, defending grand-uncle Theo in a bar fight?" Harry clarified once more. 

The Black twins never did tell him the full story behind it. Just that their grandmother Amelia, who had to take her two grandchildren to the police station to bail out her husband and son-in-law, was extremely displeased.

James grinned.

"This wouldn't happen to be anything like the time they both ended up on the run from the French police on their second honeymoon, would it?" Harry recalled some of the couple's strange behaviour.

Maybe..just maybe.

"Oh honey," Lily looked at him sympathetically. "You don't even know half of it. But we can't possibly send you to Hogwarts without telling you about them. Kelsey must have slipped the photo in since she knew she wouldn't be here to see you off or tell you about it. You know how she's all for the dramatics.." Lily drifted off dreamily.

"She definitely married into the right family," James snorted under his breath. "Now you see it all began the day that aunt Kelpie of yours flipped off Pad-"

"James! You can't start there, it's inappropriate!" Lily was horrified at the thought of telling her son about such acts. Harry didn't have the heart to tell his mother how often he heard aunt Kelpie curse. It was almost as bad as uncle Moony.

"Well, where do you propose we start then?" his father demanded.

"At the train ride of course! She walked into the compartment where Mary, Benji and I were sitti-"

"Absolutely not! Sirius would have a fit if you started the story with perfect prefect Benji. It's bad enough they work in the same department."

"HE'S MARRIED. WITH KIDS!"

"I'm with Prongs on that one Evans," unexpectedly Sirius Black himself interrupted. "Hope you don't mind. I rang the bell but no one answered. Came to drop this off for Harry." He held up a gift-wrapped broom.

Instead of waiting for an invitation Sirius strode over to Harry's desk and made himself comfortable on the chair.

"Okay, then, you tell him!" Lily huffed.

Sirius thought for a moment and began:

"You see Harry, it all began on September 1st 1971, the day I saw a mean-looking muggle teaching his daughter to kick boys where the sun don't shine on Platform 9 ¾.." Sirius paused as he remembered the first time he saw Kelsey frantically trying to calm an over-enthusiastic Theo on the platform.

"And then?" urged Harry.

"I went to find her on the train of course! I just knew she was trouble when she walked in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand we're full circle. Can I just say it has been a treat writing this story? I began this in October 2020 when I was going through a really hard time. Writing this was my way of making myself laugh with the pranks, second-hand embarrassment and whatnot.
> 
> And I never thought it'd receive so much love!! Thank you for all the votes and lovely comments, laughing with me (and at Kelsey tbh).


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